Check out the new sub. Oof.
Little bow tie. That does not bode well.
Uh, I beg to differ.
You know how hard it is to tie one of those?
That man has already persevered once today.
I think he got this.
Grand rising, brother... All right.
Sister... Mm.
And ma'am.
I'm Ethan Joyner, subbing for the second grade.
Thanks for coming in.
You'll be right down the hall and on the left.
Okay. Thank you.
He will be selling bean pies
betwixt lanes of traffic before lunch.
Five bucks that he's gone by the end of recess.
You know what? Gregory really needs a win today.
I'll take that bet. All right.
I just smelled a smelly smell
that I've never s-smelled before, and,
and the doorknobs are so sticky!
I think I just lost a couple fingerprints.
I forgot.
I actually want to be a lawyer.
But the kids ain't even here yet.
Mm-mm-mm. Mm-mm.
It's a clip-on!
A real bow-tie bamboozle. Mm-hmm.
You want to get a drink at Rubies tonight?
Uh, yeah. I'm down.
Did y'all not check out Sabrina's yesterday?
Oh, we did. Yeah. Did you mention my name?
Yeah. The staff had a really loaded reaction.
Bet you didn't have to pay, though.
Monetarily? No. Emotionally, however...
You know, you're a real social butterfly lately.
Takes me back to when I used to stay out all night
to avoid my problems.
But that was last week.
Old gal still got it, huh?
I mean young maiden.
Hey, that's how we roll, Mel Mel.
Dudin' it up. Blokin' it back.
Bro-ing it down.
Really?
Mr. We used to be the Three Musketeers.
But now I'm one musketeer,
and they're just two that don't invite me to things.
Hey, there. How you doing?
I'm Melissa Schemmenti.
I'm the other second grade teacher,
so I just wanted to pop over and say hi
and let you know I'm right across the hall.
Thanks. In case you need anything.
Okay. I doubt I'll have any issues.
I used to be a kid. I think I can handle a dozen me's.
Well, you know, this is a public school,
so there's gonna be like 30 of yo use there.
Thirty?
Yeah. Wow.
That's three groups of ten.
Hey, you're qualified to take classes here.
Yeah. Well, thanks for checking in. Yeah.
I'm gonna be the best temp these parts have ever seen.
You mean sub.
I did mean sub. Yeah.
But not all of us can remember the right words every time.
Um, how long you been a sub?
Ever since I got my gift card
gift certificate... teaching certificate.
Teaching... feels like a gift.
Okay, y'all. Good job today.
And remember, practicing is more important than your homework.
And if any of your teachers disagree,
I can and will fire them.
Well, I hope the gym is to everyone's liking.
I find the acoustics to be delicious.
Well, Sister Howard, with a little practice,
our voices will ring louder than that lipstick of yours.
My church choir is going to be rehearsing in the school gym
because they found mold in the church rehearsal room.
So I'm graciously letting them use
the freshly named Ava Coleman Memorial Coliseum
for a very reasonable yet expensive price.
All right, choir.
The announcement of the closing number
for the Triumphant Love Concert.
After careful deliberation and consultation,
we are going to sing... "Shackles."
Oh! Just imagine.
One woman will harness the power of two Marys!
Right you are, Sister Howard. Yes!
And we all know there's only one woman
who can lead us through those melodious pastures. Yes.
Sheila!
Congratulations, Sheila. Ooh, ooh.
Have y'all heard the mash-up
between "Shackles" and "Poundtown"?
You are not gonna believe what she took the shackles off of.
Guess.
Ah! I love it here!
It's like "Cheers"... except nobody knows my name.
Hey. I'm gonna go close out.
Oh, close out? Not so fast, mon frère.
I'm trying to get another round!
Of water. The drinks here are a wee bit pricy.
Don't you think it's getting a little late for a school night?
It's okay.
I will caffeinate to the gods tomorrow.
Besides, I think Zach's still awake,
so I kind of want to wait that out.
Oh, what's going on? You all in a fight?
Didn't nobody tell you to stay out of gay folks' business?
Now, you know that's not the same.
Fine.
Yeah, we've... we've been arguing a bit more lately,
but that's normal.
You have your honeymoon phase
and then your "I'm in Hell" phase
and then "I guess we're stuck here" phase.
And then you get married, and then you die.
Well, how long has this been going on?
Mm, about a month.
Wait. No. February is almost over.
So... I'd say seven months.
Seven months?
We're bored, I guess.
We go entire days without talking.
And when we do, we're just kind of pretending
to still be into each other.
And when we're not bored, we're bickering.
I don't know. It's just... It's not working.
It's like a DC movie over here.
I-I don't want to overstep,
but at this point, if you're avoiding going home,
you might want to consider breaking up.
Well, when you put it like that,
I guess it's pretty obvious, huh?
Oh! Nice!
I got one!
You were robbed of that solo.
Sister Sipp picks who she thinks should sing the solos
based upon who she thinks is gonna sing it best.
And it just so happens it's never me.
That's just like my sorority.
If you're not cool with the mean girls,
they'll have you all the way at the back of the step show
like the creepy uncle at a wedding.
But this is different.
What is a choir if not a sorority for the Lord?
While I do not agree, I see your point.
At the next rehearsal, you need to ask for what you want.
You got to walk in there like "I am that girl."
I am that woman.
That girl.
I am that lady.
It's just that that doesn't really hit the same.
That girl.
That girl. Yes.
Is everything all right?
For sure.
Been using tactics I read in a book I heard.
You know, sometimes it feels like I'm the one teaching them.
Where did you say you got your teacher's certification?
I didn't.
You didn't get your certification?
No, I didn't say. Hey, you want to get in on this?
Aah!
We can't bill them.
Hey, Melissa. Look, I'm completely underwater
and just in the middle of an impossible decision right now.
What's up? Okay.
There's a phony subbing for your class.
Oh, my goodness. Are the kids okay?
Yeah, they're fine, but there is no way
this person has a teaching certificate.
Melissa, are you sure?
I mean, I cannot be weird about another sub.
Please just look up Cassidy Jeffrey for me.
Okay. But you owe me one.
I'm hanging up now.
All right.
I didn't get in this position by shying away from bold choices.
Put me down for the Waldorf salad, extra grapes.
Damn it, Janine. You've done it again.
Them doughnuts are gonna kill you.
Mm-hmm. You know that, right?
Witchyo nosy ass.
Well, I did it. You broke up with him?
What? No. Never.
I started the process of getting him to break up with me.
By telling him that you're unhappy in the relationship?
Uh, no.
By doing things that I know he doesn't like.
For example, when I just got out of the car right now,
I did not say goodbye.
He hates that.
So you did nothing.
Trust me, this is not nothing, okay?
If I know him, he is absolutely fuming right now.
I can't watch.
Hey, man, you got a second? Uh, I'm kind of busy.
I got to finish watching the Eras Tour.
When Zach finds out I watched it without him,
we are gonna have bad blood.
I said we're gonna have bad... Yeah, I heard you. Um, look.
I don't think you're gonna end up
feeling really good about what you're doing here.
I don't. I feel terrible.
Then why are you doing it?
Because I love Zach,
and if I break up with him, it will crush him.
And so I'm doing this for him.
Okay.
Maybe I should stay out of gay folks' business,
but you can't actually think this is gonna work.
Would some positive reinforcement kill you?
I have never broken up with someone, okay?
I don't even know how to do it.
Uh, "Hey, Zach, neither of us is happy,
and so I think we should break up"?
That's pretty much exactly it. Well, you would know.
You're, like, the only person
who's been dumped more times than I have.
My time for caring about this has expired.
Wait. No, no, no.
You said what you said. I heard you.
I... Mm-hmm.
What do you got for me, kid?
Not only can I not find a sub cert for Cassidy Jeffrey,
there's not even a Cassidy Jeffrey in the system.
I knew it. Okay.
Are you on your way down here now to bury their ass?
Just hold your horsies, okay?
I will be there when I can, but they need me here.
What...
Oh, sorry. I had to take that call.
We saw you dial.
Emily, I swear to God.
Barbara, is that a new ear piercing I see?
No, Sister Sloss. It's the same one.
You mean the same several.
Before we begin, I'd like to throw my hat in the ring
as lead singer on "Shackles."
I've been in the choir for quite some time now,
and I think that I deserve a chance.
Well, that's rather unorthodox,
but I shouldn't say I'm surprised.
In order for us to get a better sense of your vocal stylings,
why don't you sing "O Happy Day"?
Oh. A curve ball.
Thank you!
That was beautiful.
However, "Shackles" is more in Sheila's key,
so I think we'll stick with her.
I understand.
I don't.
And this time it's not because I wasn't paying attention.
Ava, please. Just calm down.
Nah! 'Cause they ain't gonna be lying in my coliseum.
No, no. They have made up their minds.
It's fine.
This is ridiculous. I've heard Sheila sing.
What she does to those songs, it's not right.
It's not of the Lord.
Well, sometimes she does sound like
she's the one up on the cross.
That's a good one. Let's go back in and say that.
No.
Ava, I tried. Let's just leave it alone.
Well, the plan continues to work flawlessly.
Last night, I focused on the most passive-aggressive room
in our one-bedroom apartment... the kitchen.
I didn't squeeze out the sponge.
I left the microwave door open.
As if that wasn't enough, I made toast.
I took a knife, and I spread the butter,
and then I took that same knife and I got some jelly.
I left everything out, and then I took a big old bite.
Crumbs, like, everywhere.
It's frightening how good I am at all of this.
It's, um... I'm s... I'm scaring myself.
All right. We got to do this quickly.
Pulled out of an early meeting.
Told them I had to go feed the meter.
Don't you guys have a parking lot?
They knew I was lying. Ready?
Oh, absolutely.
You know, most people calm down over time,
but I just get angrier and less rational.
That's concerning.
Oh. Hello, Melissa and...
Your worst nightmare. The jig is up, Jeffrey.
I actually work at the school district.
And guess who isn't in the substitute database?
Who? You.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've subbed all over Philly.
Oh, yeah? What schools?
Washington. Jefferson. Roosevelt.
McKinley. Roosevelt again.
Okay. You're just naming presidents.
You're out of here. Yeah.
I've searched every employment file
that the district has, and there's no record
of a Cassidy...
Is it "Gee-oh-free"?
It's pronounced "Jeffrey."
But it isn't spelled that way, now, is it?
And... And I bet if I spelled it correctly
that there would be a record of you at the district.
Yeah, you really stepped in it this time,
didn't you, Teagues?
So, is that the German spelling?
Ja.
It's finally gonna be over soon.
Zach just sent a text that said, "We need to talk,"
and he should be here momentarily.
You shouldn't have doubted me.
My plan worked, and your plan shorked.
Not a word. I just came to get my pen I forgot.
Hey, Gregory!
Oh, hey, Zach. I just came to grab my pen and I'll be out.
You seemed really, uh, stressed
in your text. What did you want to talk about?
Jacob, I've been rather frustrated and confused.
Well, that seems really... frustrating and confusing.
And you don't deserve to feel that way.
My brother, if I could just...
Jacob, I didn't think it would come to this,
but I think we should go to couples counseling.
I wanna break up!
This is exactly why I'm not in a throuple.
You want to break up? What? You want to break up? What?
Jacob, you said you wanted to break up.
Are you sure you didn't say it first?
Because I-I think you did.
And if that's the case, I-I totally understand.
I'm glad you got that off your chest.
Jacob, what's going on?
Are you breaking up with me?
Yes. I don't think
we should be together.
I'm sorry.
We haven't been happy for a long time, okay?
I felt it. I know you felt it.
I don't think either of us wanted to admit
that this is what needs to happen.
In my heart of hearts, if I'm being completely honest,
maybe I just brought up couples therapy
because I was too afraid to rip off the bandage.
Mm.
This sucks.
Yeah.
I mean... thank you for being upfront.
That took guts.
Well... don't give me too much credit.
I've... I've been so scared.
I've been trying to get you to break up with me.
Sorry. What?
Well, actually, it's... it's really funny.
Like, because I've been trying to drive you nuts
so that you would break up with me.
Is that why you've been buying two of every condiment
despite our limited fridge and cabinet space?
No. That was... That was a genuine mistake
each and every time.
But, uh, everything else was kinda on purpose.
Jacob Hill, you sick bitch.
You just released the kraken.
Ca-caw!
The kraken isn't a bird. It's a sea mons...
Quiet, sweet prince.
I don't have to care about that anymore.
And FYI... Your facts were never fun,
composting is disgusting,
and you held our team back at trivia night.
You were right.
I was.
I should have talked to him immediately.
You should've.
You came back for me.
Came back for my pen.
Yeah, I guess I do have other pens.
Oh. There you are.
Here is the key to the gym.
I will not be sticking around to overhear those old biddies
praying for the curbs to stop being so high.
Thanks, Ava.
I know why my sorority sisters don't like me.
But why don't those church ladies like you, Barb?
I'm too modern for them.
I am not Christian enough for them.
All because you got a few piercings?
If anybody can appreciate a few extra holes
in their bodies, it's Jesus.
It is not just about the piercings.
It is the jazz nights with Gerald.
It's the all-inclusive cruises
where Sea Barbara pokes her little head out.
And not to mention that...
I'm friends with some of Abbott's more colorful teachers.
Why do you even want to be part of that choir
if that's how they treat you?
Because when I'm singing, that's when I feel closest to God.
And... when my kids were younger, you know, balancing it all,
it was... it was rough.
So one day I didn't go to church.
And then the next week, we didn't go to church.
And I just started to think
if I could just give it all up like that, what does that mean?
Then I started questioning my faith altogether.
And then one day, I heard "Shackles" on the radio.
And that song... ooh! It brought me back to church.
"The testing of your faith produces perseverance."
Not you quoting scripture.
Lord, He does work in mysterious ways.
Not that mysterious.
You thought they could keep me away from a place
that passes out free money on a free plate?
You know something, Ava? You are right.
Ah. The Lord wants me to persevere.
He wants me to tell that story.
Yes!
Tell that story.
That's not what I meant at all.
Hey. How we doing, buddy?
Not great. Turns out Zach is the vengeful type.
He shrunk all of my shrinkables,
which is pretty much every sweater I own.
And not only do I need new clothes,
but I also have to find a new apartment... and soon.
Zach has already started writing a one-man show about me.
He's calling it "Fleabag," but with an "F."
"Fleafaf"?
No.
I am so sick of you two.
Um, why don't we go to Rubensteins tonight?
I should probably teach you how to throw darts
so you don't take somebody's eye out.
We can invite Janine.
Yeah. That sounds nice.
Hey, can... can you grab that granola for me?
It's on the top shelf, and I've got this... situation happening.
Yeah.
Just came from apologizing to the sub.
Oh. It went well,
but they are filing a complaint with the school district.
Just hope they spell Teagues with two G's.
I'm sorry I roped you into this whole thing.
I don't know whether it's 'cause I'm down to one class
or I'm home by myself all the time now or...
I don't know... maybe I'm just plain bored.
Maybe you just miss getting into classic high jinks
with you and me.
Nah. That's not it.
It's the bored thing.
So, did you tell them
why "Shackles" was so important to you?
I did. They were unmoved.
I knew they wouldn't go for it.
Church ladies, sorority sisters,
everyone who's ever worked at a dermatologist's office...
They're all the same.
You know what? It's all right.
I've learned not to overlook my many blessings.
Besides, I still get to perform a song that means so much to me.
And you get to do it twice.
What do you mean?
I threw together this little surprise recital for Barb,
because apparently you can't key a church lady's car anymore?
Well, go on in.
It sure is hot out here. Go, girl.
I don't mind, though.
I'm just glad to be free.
Know what I'm sayin'? Unh!
This is making me want to rejoin the Church
I should've told Barbara to stick to one song.
She's going through her whole discography.
We've heard everything from "We Shall Overcome"
to "This Little Light of Mine."
We can't keep going on with all this biblical talk.
This is a public school, for God's sake.
Now, this next note is called a whistle tone.
Your first instinct might be to cover your ears.
Hey, Barb. Hey. Do you know "Go Down, Moses"?
Oh, yes.
'Cause I'mma need you to let my people go.
Ooh.
Oh, yeah!
Thank you. Thank you.
Captions by VITAC...