Where are we at with the veggies? Veggies?
I was deconstructing the water ice.
Are you kidding me?
We're pretty busy prepping for open house, aka AVA Fest.
Last year, we only served various mac and cheeses,
so this year, we elevated.
It's time to show the people
what Abbott Elementary kitchen can really do.
Hands! I need hands!
Yes, chef! We're walking.
We're walking, table one.
Oh, allow me.
This is
trash.
Nnnooo!
Now, who's gonna clean that up?
Next month's priority is Emily's tutoring initiative,
"The Study Buddy,"
so keep your eyes out for your school assignments.
That's weird,
'cause it sounds a lot like the program that I pitched.
Remember, "Tutor Friends"?
For the last time, Simon, it's not the same.
Mine rhymes.
Oh, that's why I liked it better.
Nothing rhymes with "tutor."
Tutor, scooter. Tutor, shooter. Tutor, recruiter.
Oh, that's good.
Moving on to a program update.
Early reports are back for the first month
of the expansion of Janine's librarian program,
and feedback has been extremely positive.
Well, that's the big Teagues.
That's the big Teagues over here.
The big Teagues! Come on.
Teacher evaluations are through the roof.
There's also been improvement in attendance
and even classroom participation.
I'm not sure if that has anything
to do with your program,
but if I were you, I would take the credit.
Cool.
Oh, hey, that's my class.
There are going to be so many more Abbots you can help
now that you're here permanently.
Yep. Alright, everyone, until next month.
And please, do not submit any new proposals unless they are,
say it with me now... Fffff.
Fire.
For real. Fantastic.
Free. Free!
Free.
Come, on guys. We know "free," right?
I feel like I say this every day.
You do. Yeah.
Hey, don't forget, everybody, per district tradition,
tonight is Janine's official new hire party.
Woo. Hey, hey, hey.
Wow. Alright. You good?
You didn't seem as pumped as I thought you would be
with your program killing it.
Oh, yeah. I'm... fine.
I don't know. I just feel a little off, I guess.
Ah, I get it. You're in the dip.
What's the dip?
It's like when a big project ends
and the dust settles, and you're like,
"What do I do now?
Buy a condo?
Redo the one I have?"
You have a condo?
There's so many other projects coming down the line,
you won't even have enough time
to think about being in the dip too long.
Trust me.
Cool.
Seeing my students doing so well in the program
seems like it would have made me elated,
so it's good to know where that off feeling was coming from.
I guess that's just what happens
when you're always working on new projects.
You dip.
What are we even meeting about the open house for?
I got a classroom to prep.
Attention, attention.
We have a very packed agenda today.
It just says "AVA Fest" over and over and over.
Exactly.
Last year's AVA Fest was great,
but this year needs to be even bigger and better.
Well, last year you lied to everybody
and said that Jazmine Sullivan was coming.
And then people got very angry.
Mm-hmm.
And this year's needs to be even better.
Ava, this is simply an open house.
We will continue prepping all day,
and everything will be just fine.
Do you think I want something
that has my name on it to be just fine?
Doesn't have to have your name on it.
I've actually been prepping all week.
Look at the solar system that my class made.
Aww. Boo!
Un-show me that, right now.
AVA Fest, on the other hand, is going to be special.
I just have to come up with a way to take it over the top,
a way to make it unhinged.
Have you ever tried just being hinged?
Alright. Are we done here?
I need to put the finishing touches on my proposal
before I go drop it off at the district.
Gregory's Garden Goofballs getting a glow up.
Gregory, would you please give this to Janine?
Yeah, I got a box of her crap, too.
Oh, could you also give her this important message?
I love her, I miss her, and I can't wait to see her again.
Oh... I'll paraphrase.
Well, make yourself useful and grab Janine's lanyard.
The AVA Dome has a strict no Janine re-entry policy.
Alright, everyone, focus.
You are all set.
Now, they're going to email you when it's officially official.
That's amazing. Thank you.
Oh, do you happen to know where Janine Teagues' office is?
Mm, yes. Office 237.
Thanks. On the second floor.
Now, you're going to pass
a little kitchenette moment, and 237 is right next to 239.
Now, if you go to that big conference room,
you've gone too far.
Yeah.
This place would collapse without me.
Okay.
I figured it out, y'all.
I found a way to top last year.
And here we go.
I got a Root! Philadelphia's own Questlove.
Ahh.
The same way you got Jazmine Sullivan
to come here last year?
Exactly.
Okay, but she didn't come.
Do you not have an imagination?
Mm-hmm. Questlove and I go way back.
We went parasailing in the Florida Keys over summer break.
He lost his afro pick in the water.
Almost ruined the whole trip.
So he kept his afro pick in while parasailing?
He never takes it out. He says it holds his power.
Look, Questlove is coming.
The people need to know.
Jacob, I want you to make a flyer on Canva,
something that pops, and then blast it wide.
Sure, I'll get right on that.
Pick up the energy, people!
I don't want my esteemed best friend
and occasional pickleball partner, Questlove,
to catch a bad vibe at my festival.
Ava, come on...
You know she's lying.
Just keep doing what you're doing.
Let her go.
We are so excited for your party tonight.
I hope you don't like hooks, girl,
'cause this party gonna be off one. Ooh.
Party's starting to sound like a big deal.
'Cause it's your big day. You're one of us now.
One of us. Yeah.
One of us. One of us. One of us.
Party's gonna be off the hook, I get it.
What party?
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I thought you were one of my coworkers.
Well, I used to be.
What are you doing here?
I'm just here dropping off the paperwork
for my Goofballs proposal.
Oh, that's great.
It's gonna go through, I know it.
This is a nice view.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. You know what?
If you squint hard enough, you can see Abbott from here.
Um, speaking of Abbott,
I have some parting gifts from the crew. Oh.
I have a card from Barbara. Aww.
A framed photo of Jacob from Jacob.
Mm-hmm.
Melissa got you some mace,
and Mr. Johnson wanted you to have a strand
from his favorite mop.
That is so thoughtful.
And this is from me.
Wow! Dirt!
You said that you missed the dirt at Abbott,
so I brought it to you.
Oh, my God.
There's also seeds in there.
It's a polka dot plant.
It's supposed to be a reminder to embrace the unexpected.
Thanks, Gregory. I love it.
Alright, I gotta head out.
We're still prepping for AVA Fest.
You gonna be there?
Oh, no.
That party I mentioned earlier,
it's kind of for me, so I can't miss it.
Okay.
Oh, um...
Ava said I need to get your Abbott lanyard from you.
It's probably at home or something like that,
so when you get a chance, just...
You still have it on?
Yeah.
Just thought it went well with this outfit,
and all my other outfits, so...
Thanks for coming, Gregory. Yeah.
And I love my dirt!
It's a plant, but see you around.
Bye.
Yeah, it's the end of an era,
but Janine will always have a special place with all of us.
I mean, it's because of her
I realized that Abbott is where I'm meant to be.
So it's great to see her find where she is meant to be.
All three now. Right, chef? Yeah.
I just texted my mom, and she sent me this voice note.
Oh, my God, Oh, my God, Oh, my God!
I love Questlove!
See, Mom gets it.
So make sure you tell everyone you know,
AVA Fest is not to be missed.
Ava.
How exactly did you meet Questlove? Yeah.
We met at a party in the 2000s.
I was dating Allen Iverson.
A couple of his groupies was trying to get at me.
I'm beating on them,
and then Questlove walks by and he says,
"You have natural rhythm."
A couple of weeks later, we started The Roots.
So you're saying that you're a founding member of The Roots?
More like the founder.
Ava, you're not a Root.
Well, I quit to save the band.
I almost Yoko Ono'd them.
I really thought we were going to be able to ignore this
and just have a lovely open house,
but this is gonna be a problem.
I haven't even sent the flyer out,
and word is already spreading.
One of the parents just texted me
and asked if there are VIP tickets.
Okay, this calls for a plan B you cannot get at CVS.
Okay, the party starts at 8:00,
and you'll probably want to take a car home after,
because things can get a little wild.
There will be cake, there will be fun...
There will be blood oaths.
What? He's kidding.
No. Don't do that.
Teagues? Yeah?
You see your new assignment?
Oh, yeah. I got the email.
Just haven't had a chance to...
Okay, so we are going to have you do
a class size assessment of the ninth grade.
You're going to start at Park Legendary High School.
Oh, okay.
See, I was just thinking I'd stick with elementary schools
and stay at Abbott.
Oh, you know what? That's on me.
I forgot to ask you which school you'd prefer.
Oh, it's alright. So I was...
Of course, I'm being sarcastic.
Your job is to help all the schools in the district,
not just Abbott.
Right. Totally hear you. Yeah.
I was just thinking maybe I would ease into it,
like a cold plunge?
You don't ease into a cold plunge.
That's pretty... pretty sure it's in the name.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Janine, this is all mapped out for you
in your new hire packet
raise in year two, promotion in year three.
Yep.
Team leader in year four. I read it.
Great, so you're familiar with
our standard seven-year plan.
Welcome to your future.
Ooh, this is heavy.
Whoa.
Big cake. Yeah.
Questlove gonna be here?
Questlove! I'm telling you...
What have you got?
Well, I've got my church choir ready to sing
one of our secular selections,
"Angel" by Amanda Perez.
Great,
and I reached out to the Story Samurai.
They said they're going to come and do some story performances.
But they did ask for a per diem, which in Latin... Ohh.
I reached out to Tariq to see if he could perform again,
but apparently he's moderating a panel at City Hall.
Well, I'm bringing a few friends myself...
De Niro. Stallone.
And then Stallone as De Niro.
"Yo, Adrian, you lookin' at me?"
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right?
There is one more thing.
Um, Ava asked me to send that email to all the parents
with the Canva flyer,
and I took the liberty of letting them know
that Questlove will not be able to attend.
Oh.
Jacob, you beautiful backstabber.
Oh, hey, there.
I've been trying to track you down.
Now, here's all the information
to enroll in our health insurance.
Which, let me tell you, it's pretty bomb.
That's why my teeth are on point.
Um, you know what?
I don't actually need better health insurance.
Um, I'm healthy.
And if everyone in America can't have free health insurance,
why should I?
Okay, first of all, it's not free.
And second of all, are you sure?
Because I've heard you breathing,
and I think you need a specialist.
Or maybe I just have a special way of breathing.
There you are.
Here is your permanent parking pass.
Employee lot is right out front.
Um, you know what?
I don't really need a parking spot.
I can just walk.
It's like, a 20-minute walk.
Yeah. That's okay. I love to walk, you know?
Look, I love it.
Doing it right now. Doing a good job at it.
Hey, I noticed you haven't signed up
for your 401K.
When you don't fill out the paperwork,
I have to talk to people, and I hate talking to people.
Great, I'll sign up for it if there's something less intense,
you know, like a 301K or a 201J.
What is that?
Where did this come from?
That's a super sick district desktop computer.
You got to personalize your background.
Mine's a mountain lion.
Well, I don't want it.
Oh. Yeah.
I like my laptop because it's mobile.
You can move. You're not stuck anywhere.
That's the reason why Steve Jobs made laptops, Simon.
If I get information and I want to take it somewhere,
where do I put it, Simon?
I don't know, Janine. The cloud?
Yeah, baby. Oh, behave.
Okay, I don't know who that's supposed to be,
but he sounds responsible.
Who wants to die? Which one of you did this?
I did.
I did. Ava.
We did not want to lie to the people coming to AVA Fest.
And the real entertainment will go over better
if the community is not expecting Questlove.
'Cause he ain't showing up.
Shh. Y'all are haters.
He thanked me in the liner notes of "Things Fall Apart."
That's when I used to go by the name MC Gillette,
a name that he gave me because he said
I am the best a man can get.
Now I gotta make another flyer and send it out myself.
Corner.
Are we just yelling out things we see now?
Walls, floor, huge mess of food!
Get in my belly.
I got your start paperwork.
Oh, yeah. This is my favorite tradition.
You take a shot, you sign the paperwork,
we snap a nasty photo.
Oh, boy.
It's just a fun little thing
we've been doing for all the new hires.
You do not have to take the shot,
but you got to take the photo.
But you should still take the shot.
Here. Oh.
Uh, alright.
Um, you know what?
I just need to go grab my lucky pen,
because I cannot sign without it.
So I'll be right back.
And, um...
Simon, make sure you get the perfect lighting for me, okay?
Do I have the perfect lighting?
Uh, shhing.
"Janine,
I'm so proud of the person you've become.
I have no doubt your adventure is just beginning.
One thing I've learned about you is that you have a big heart.
And, my dear, that heart will never lead you astray.
"Blessings, Barbara."
Hey, are you good?
Honestly, better than I've ever been.
Alright, I gotta
get to the chopper,
but as Matthew McConaughey would say...
AVA Fest's alright,
alright, alright.
Thank you.
I can't believe they made me sit through that.
Questlove better be here soon.
They better not have lured us down here again
with the promise of seeing a well-known and respected
R&B and/or rap artist.
Okay, so there are a few disappointed people here,
but overall, I think it's going pretty well.
Thank God we had a backup plan. You're welcome.
And people seem to be liking the food.
Thank you. We worked really hard,
lost some good men.
Shanae quit.
I said I was quick, dumb-ass.
Oh. What's up?
It's the district.
The Garden Goofballs program passed its final hurdle.
It's officially approved.
Ooh, good for you, goofball. Oh!
That is so awesome.
Well, I'll be.
Gomer Pyle.
Congrats, man.
I knew it was gonna happen.
It's just good to know it's official.
I gotta tell Janine.
Aww. Tell Janine what?
What are you doing here?
What happened to your party?
Well, I decided I wanted to be here.
Aww. For good.
What?
I'm coming back to Abbott.
Yes!
Good to have you back, sweetheart.
Wait, what?
You... You quit?
No. She got fired.
What? Why?
Pregnant.
You can see it in her feet.
No, no, no, no. I'm not pregnant.
You cannot get fired for that.
And I quit.
Well, technically, I never signed the contract,
so I'm in the clear. Oh.
Reynolds did say I should have said something sooner
and that he will be considering holding a grudge against Abbott,
but it'll be fine.
It'll be fun.
The fact is, I love being a teacher.
It's who I am.
Well, welcome back, kiddo.
There's no one I'd rather teach second grade with than you.
This has made my entire year, so I don't want to ruin it,
but what made you change your mind?
It was a lot of things.
But what really did it for me was Barbara's card.
My...?
But all I wrote was how proud I am of you
and all the great things you're going to do.
Yeah, but it was the other part,
what the kids wrote.
I drew Ms. Teagues a picture of a football
and wrote that she is the best teacher ever.
I said, "You make me laugh, Ms. Teagues."
I wrote that I miss her this much.
And that's how I knew I have to be with those kids.
Is that why you had them sign?
No. That was their idea.
This is so sweet.
But we all know the real reason you came back
is to see Questlove.
Ava, Questlove is not coming here.
Now, why would I lie about that?
Because you lied about it last year.
And I was honest about my lying.
Oh, please.
You're like the principal who cried wolf,
except she's also the wolf.
So I guess it's just me and Gregory against the world.
I'm gonna take the world's side on this one.
Y'all gonna feel real foolish when Questlove...
Enough, Ava.
We have tolerated your lies for four years.
Five.
Eventually, you have got to be stopped.
We have watched you steal, cut corners, lie pathologically,
plot, prevaricate, palter, persist,
and I don't know whether you are delusional or not,
but Questlove is not...
Oh... Is...?
Questlove is...
Gillette, what is up? Questlove...
Oh, my God, you're Questlove.
Is here.
You are here.
And you know Ava?
Do I know the Ava Coleman? Of course.
I mean, we go back like molars.
I mean, I was just talking to Allen Iverson
the other day about how, without her,
our lives would have never been the same.
They thought I was lying, Ahmir.
You, Honest Ava?
Oh. That is not what we call her.
Okay, well, later, I'll tell you
about the time where she wrestled a bluefin tuna
for my afro pick.
Almost as fun as the day we started The Roots together.
Stop bragging about me.
Now get up there and do it for the people one time.
I got you.
I told y'all I wasn't lying.
Unlike Janine and her pregnancy.
Janine?
I am not pregnant.
Tariq.
No. Congrats.
What?
It's exciting.
Let's go, Abbott Elementary!
Hey, Janine. Yeah?
Just so you know, I'm gonna need that mop strand back.
Okay.
I mean, it's understandable.
Janine loves Abbott,
but no one's gonna be able to fill her shoes.
Her surprisingly large shoes.
Yeah.
I could be like Janine.
No. No.
What are we going to do with that district chain
that we got her?
We'll have to find somebody else to wear it.
Can I have her office?
No. No.
Okay.
I hated Janine.
I'm glad she's gone.
Delicious.
Captions by VITAC...