Oh, I can't wait to see them again!
Dog... will you please calm down?
We can't calm down.
We need to prepare the preparations!
We need marching bands
mimes, cakes, presents... spare no expense!
Dog, Dog, Dog, Dog...
Mom and Dad don't want marching bands
or expensive presents.
Okay, mimes it is!
Mimes it's not!
Dog, Mom and Dad just want to spend
a quiet, relaxing weekend with their boys, who are us.
They don't want a bunch of hoopla.
What am I going to do with all this hoopla?
Hmm, wonder who that could be.
Knock, knock, we're here!
It's Mom and Dad!
Hi-ho diggity!
Ow.
Yay!
Whee...!
Uh... okay...
I got it, no problem.
A little help here!
Whoopsie-daisy!
Don't worry, Dad, I'm coming to get ya!
Dad... you're beautiful.
Aw...
Uh. Ahem.
Uh, Mom, Dad?
You must be exhausted from your long trip
so why don't you come on down and sit back and relax
with these fabulous presents
courtesy of your host and loving son Cat!
But Cat, you said no presents.
Here's something every father needs.
A floating contour lounger with reclining lily pad.
Say, now, that's fancy.
And for the greatest mom in the world
A super king-size multi-speed foot massager!
Oh, Cat, you shouldn't have.
Nothing but the best for my mom.
Hey, I'm the only foot massager around here.
You stop.
Not in front of the kids.
Gee, Mom and Dad, I didn't get you any fancy presents.
That's true.
But you can have some
of my favorite garbage.
Oh... why, Dog, it's lovely!
Ooh, the aroma...
Flies!
Now this is a present.
Well, I guess we know who they like best. ( laughs )
What, they like Dog best?
Ha! Don't be ridiculous.
They couldn't possibly like...
Oh, Dog, you're the best!
Oh!
Don't take it so hard.
Everybody likes Dog best.
We like Cat better!
What are you, nuts?
Oh, oh! Let's play tag!
Well, count me in!
( laughs ) Me, too!
Tag, you're it!
Slowpokes!
Catch me if you can!
Over here! Ha-ha, you missed me.
Whoa... ah!
Come on, boys.
But what about my g...
Catch me if you can!
Sorry.
Hi. Follow me!
Aah, aah, aah...
Oh, whee!
My body. Aah! My body.
My body. Aah! My body. Aah!
My body. Aah! Aah!
My body. Aah! My body.
Hi ho diggity!
My body again. My body. Aah!
Oops!
Oops! Oops!
Sorry! Ha! Sorry!
Sorry. Oop, that tickles.
Follow me!
Wait, wait... Dad!
Wait, Dad... ( whimpers )
Hee-hee.
Aah!
Aah...
Ha-ha!
Oh, hooray for you!
Oh, Dad?
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Olly-olly-froggy-free!
I really can't breathe.
( gasps ) Oh, dear.
Ha! ( laughs )
Tag! You're it again, you're it again!
Wait a minute, wait, wait!
There are other ways to have family fun.
How about... fishing?
Mmm... gah!
Ooh, good one, Dad!
That hits the spot.
Uh... I, I thought we were going fishing.
We are... fly fishing! ( burps )
Go on, Cat, give it a try.
But... I clean myself with this tongue.
I want to try.
All right, but there's an art to it.
Let the tongue curl back in your throat.
Ready, aim...
Hiya, baby.
Mm-gah!
Aah!
Mm... ah...
Yeah, tastes a little like chicken...
if chickens were dung-eating, flying insects.
Dung-eating insects...
Okay, Dad, here I go!
Hmm.
Aah...
Mm... gah!
Looks like you inherited your daddy's tongue.
Uh, well... since we don't get
to see you that much, I
I thought I'd take the liberty
of putting together a little slide show to, you know
bring you up to date on the accomplishments
of your favorite son... and Dog.
Now, this is just a little doodle I came up with.
Oddly enough, I never had a lesson.
Oh, Dog, you crack me up.
Next, a little hike I made to the top of...
Mount Everest!
Dog, you're too much!
Yeah, and then some.
Here I am accepting my perfect attendance award
at the one-day driving school.
They said it couldn't be done.
Well, I did it! Ha!
Gee, you really know how to work a crowd.
But don't worry, sooner or later your folks
are bound to like you at least half as much as Dog.
Half as much...
It can't be...
I mean, I like me
better than Dog... why don't they?
I'm going to put an end to this
"We like Dog better" nonsense
once and for all!
Yeah, yeah, yeah... you sleep the deep sleep
Mommy and Daddy's little favorite.
Hurry it up, Mother.
We need to get on the road.
We're burning daylight.
Coming, dear... oops.
What in the name of chub?
Oh, bad Dog, bad, bad digging Dog who digs!
Huh... what I do, what I do?
My RV, my beautiful RV!
Oh, I tried to stop him, Mom and Dad
but... he's a dog, and
they're diggers, you know.
Dog... how could you?
With his front paws.
He does it all the time.
Gee, you're right.
Look upon the paws of a digger.
I must have done it in my sleep.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
The important thing is, you took responsibility.
I'm proud of you, Dog.
Well, you should be!
You what... huh... whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...?
Wait a minute. You still like him?
Even after he said he did those things?
It takes a big man
to take responsibility for his actions.
His actions? They weren't his actions!
They were mine! I did it!
It was me!
I admit it, I admit it!
Now you like me, right, right?
Right? Huh?
He gets this from your side of the family.
I blame you!
What did I do?
You've been planning this all along!
You outsmarted me with your stupidity!
Wait a minute... that's brilliant.
Oh, no... can it be you're smarter than me, too?
Cat, your imagination is running away with you.
Run away? ( laughs )
Good idea!
You obviously don't want me around.
All you need is Dog!
Mom and Dad always liked you best!
Always the dramatic one.
Coochie-coochie-coo!
Oh!
Cat, parents don't have favorites.
We love you both the same.
Right, Dad?
Dad?
A little help here!
Your mother's right.
Just 'cause Dog is cuter
and funnier and more lovable
has a better personality... ow!
Dad...
Okay, I was just kidding.
I like you both the same, too.
Promise? For reals?
Oh, the joy of family!
Oh, for the love of chub...
Bye!
Love you!
So long, Dog.
And you, Cat!
See you later.
Take your vitamins.
Hey, uh, Cat?
Yeah?
Even though we're not supposed to have favorites
you'll always be my favorite brother.
Oh, I know... but you're not so bad yourself.
Geez Louise!
Somebody pass the hoopla bucket!
I think I'm going to be sick.
Aah!
A little help here!
I'm positive we're going the wrong way.
Oh, terrific.
It's okay to pull over
and ask for directions, honey.
Fathers don't ask for directions.
It's the other way, Dad.
Mmm, yummy!
Mmm...
Huh, hmm, huh?
Oh... uh-oh.
Cat, I'm out of meat!
We got to buy some more right now!
Meat is expensive.
It doesn't grow on trees, you know.
Yes, it does.
It d... Dog, you've said a lot of silly things
in our long and colorful relationship
and that was one of them!
You have never heard of Johnny Meatseed?
No... but I have a feeling I'm about to.
Johnny Meatseed travels all over the world
planting meat trees everywhere he goes.
Where did you hear that ridiculous story?
A little pixie told me.
Or it might have been a leprechaun.
Come on, Dog.
I'm going to show you where meat comes from.
Welcome to The Meat Channel.
Today we're going to learn where meat comes from
and I love it!
And that's where meat comes from.
They make animals out of meat?
I've been eating animals!
See, you learn something new every day.
Well, let's go to bed.
Mervis?
Uh, who did you expect, Peter Pan?
Um... oh, yeah.
You will be visited by the spirits
of three of your favorite meals.
So let's welcome our first ghost.
Guten abend.
Mein name ist Heinz von Hamburger.
Gee, you smell good enough to eat.
You already did!
Uh, sorry.
Before I was burger, I was moo-cow.
Kommen sie hier!
I show you the good old days, ja?
I roamed the fields with mein little bells
going ding-a-ling all the ding-dong day.
I was captain of the badminton team.
I was going to the Olympics!
Until somebody decided they had to have a hamburger!
Gee, who was that?
You, dummkopf.
One hamburger, please.
Mein badminton days were over!
I'm sorry, Heinz.
I promise I'll never have another hamburger
for the rest of my little livesies.
I'll just eat tacos.
Favorite meal numero dos es aqui.
Me llamo Senorita Esperanza.
Oh, no... you, too?
Si!
And on the greatest day of my life.
I was to be the first flamenco chicken to go to Mars.
But then...
some stinking dog had to have a chicken taco!
Uh, would that stinking dog be stinky old me?
Si!
Tres, dos, uno, rios!
I'm sorry, Esperanza.
I'll never eat another taco!
From now on, it is only hot dogs for me.
Cat?
So youse only gonna eat hot dogs, huh?
You wanna take a bite outta Frank, huh?
You wanna eat Frank, is that right?
You wanna eat a hot dog?
You just gonna eat hot dogs from now on, tough guy?
Um... yeah, no, I mean... you're scaring me!
Do you even know what hot dogs are made of?
Uh, hold on, don't help me.
Uh, let me see... uh, I'll get it.
Hot... dogs... hot... dogs are made of...
Oh, no, I'm a cannibal!
Nah, hot dogs ain't made of dogs, ya knucklehead!
Hot dogs are made up of a whole bunch
of your little animal friends there.
That's what hot dogs are made of?
Bingo, Junior. Occasionally they throw in a mime for flavor.
But mostly
hot dogs are made of pigs.
But Mervis, you're a pig.
That's right, Dog.
And you wouldn't want to eat me, would you?
No, I would never want to eat one of my friends.
Here's a handy list
of all the animal friends you shouldn't eat.
Remember, Dog, friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends!
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends!
Cat...!
What...?
What's the matter?
Cat, our friends are made out of meat!
Terrific.
We'll discuss it in the morning.
But it is morning!
The dawn of a new day
and I vow, as Cat is my witness
that I shall never eat my animal friends again!
From now on, it is meat no more for me!
Dog, Dog, Dog, you're a canine.
They named teeth after you.
You're a meat-eating, flesh- ingesting carnivorous beast!
What else are you going to eat?
Fruits and vegetables, fruits and vegetables! Leafy greens!
Ooh, finally, some real food!
Cat, you know fish are our friends, too.
Yeah, right.
Hey, friend, will you lend me 20 bucks?
Hmm... gosh, no friends in there.
Tofu...
I'm your friend, Dog.
Me, too, Dog. I'm your friend.
Friends don't eat friends. Friends don't eat friends!
Friends don't eat friends...
Friends don't eat friends.
Friends don't eat friends!
Okay, I'll add you to the list! Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends...
I vow that I shall not eat any fruits or vegetables.
Then what the heck are you going to eat, Dog? Rocks?
Rocks!
Rocks...
Rocks, rocks, rocks.
Rocks, rocks.
Ow...
Boy, this is really...
good.
Yo, Dog, I want to be your friend.
Huh? What do you say, pal?
Youse gonna be Rocky's friend?
Uh... okay.
All right! Way to go, Dog!
No rocks!
And that's where meat comes from...
comes from... comes from.
Mein badminton days
were over... over... over...
Some stinking dog... stinking dog... stinking dog...
Tough guy... tough guy... tough guy...
I'm your friend, Dog.
Me, too, Dog, I'm your friend.
Okay, Dog, the lack of meat
has done something to your brain.
You need meat!
No! No, I don't!
I know what I'll do.
I will just eat air!
Dog, snap out of it!
You've flipped your lid!
You've gone bonkers!
"Friends don't eat friends."
That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
Ah... hey...
Cat is not on this list!
Hey, what are you doing?
D-Dog, remember.
Friends don't eat friends.
You are not my friend, you are my brother!
No!
Help, help, help, help...!
Wait one second here.
What are you doing?
I, I, I, I don't think I taste very good.
I will be the judge of that!
Dog, Dog, Dog, stop...!
Meat, meat, meat, meat...
Must... must eat Cat.
I must eat Cat, I must eat Cat, I must eat Cat!
Heard you boys had a meat problem.
Hey, it's Johnny Meatseed.
He's really real?
How about I plant some old meat trees out yonder?
Oh, yes, yes, yes, go, plant, quick, quick, fertilize!
I see it...
but I don't believe it!
I guess you learn something new every day.
Hi-ho diggity!
Ooh, ooh, my body!
That's the magic of meat!
[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
3 F1