The end.
Finished.
My play is finished.
All done.
Finish completed.
Best play in the world.
Got it.
The Ugliest Weenie.
A poetic play by cow.
This is the stupidest thing I ever heard.
The Ugliest Weenie.
Oh, damn it.
Hey, look over there.
Oh, no.
It's mom.
Hey, your fly's open.
I don't have a fly.
Give me.
Hey, hey, Flim.
Hey, Earl.
Wait till you hear the dumb stuff, cow root.
Listen, nobody likes me because no one wants me around.
Before they even pick me up, people put me down.
They take one look at me, and then they turn into a weenie.
Cause I'm the...
Ugliest Weenie.
That is the most beautiful sentiment I've ever heard.
What insight.
What sensitivity.
What panache.
What?
Ahem.
As drama teacher, I hereby proclaim the ugliest weenie the next school play.
Yay!
Happy birthday, Sarah!
Happy birthday of my life.
Now, who wants to play the title character?
Congratulations, chicken.
You are the ugliest weenie.
What you doing?
I'm running away from home.
I do not want to be no stupid, ugly weenie.
I'll tell Mr. Fleur it was you squirted
superglue on the seats in the teacher's bathroom.
I couldn't not care less, cow.
Can I rehearse my lines for the play?
You can do whatever you want.
I am out of here.
Come on in, wee-wee.
I have always been crazy for the chicken.
Wee-wee is the leading lady in my play.
She'll be the character who loves the ugliest weenie and tries to help him.
She can.
Cow has told me Mr. Fleur wants you to play the ugliest weenie.
But you refuse.
Oh, are you sure you won't reconsider?
We would have many seats together.
I'll be in the stage group.
All right, everybody.
Let's try it again.
And this time, try to feel your weeniness.
Chicken, ready with the hand?
Ready when you are, Mr. Fleur.
Mr. Fleur.
Yeah, right.
Oh, we are a pack of weenies.
We have no elbows or knees.
We're all as beautiful and as handsome as can be.
Hey, Flem.
What are you doing here?
Didn't you know?
Flem is a weenie.
The ugliest weenie.
Flem.
Destroy Flem.
Chicken, careful with the props.
Oh, sorry, Mr. Fleur.
You might hurt somebody.
And it's Fleur.
Yes, Mr. Fleur.
Okay, kids.
Now remember, you're begging the big hand to please
select Flem, the ugliest weenie, as his next weenie.
Really sell it to me.
Oh, big hand.
Come down from above.
And pick as your weenie the one that I love.
No, no, no, no, no, Flem.
Here.
Let me show you.
Remember, with a flourish.
Now, weenies, remember, you all want to dance with
Wee-Wee, but she only has eyes for the ugliest weenie.
Say goodbye, Flem.
Sold it.
Ugliest weenie, pirouette on your left.
Left foot, like this.
Sorry, Mr. Fleur.
Oh, Mr. Fleur fell through a trap door.
And you guys didn't get to do your play.
Oh, we're flat out of time.
Stay tuned after the commercial break.
And maybe we'll show you the rest of the play.
Or maybe we'll fill the time up with... Even more commercials!
End.
You don't need pants for the victory dance.
Cause Baboon's better than Weasel.
I am Baboon, big star of cartoons.
I am Weasel.
I am Baboon.
Baboon reigns king in his mind.
He's just as good as The Weasel icon.
But round every corner, he's likely to bind.
I am Weasel!
I am Big Star.
Whatever.
Quiet on the set.
Action.
No, no, Oscar.
You can't have Weasel for kissing Beast.
At least, he's still filming Naked Safari in Africa.
Won't be back for a month.
But listen, how about I are a baboon?
Baboon's poised to become a leading man.
And he's dying to work with Gene Starlett.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh, stupid, crude, embarrassing.
Yes, I've heard all that too, but Oscar, a baboon deserves a shot.
No, no, no, no, I already told you, Oscar, Weasel is out of town.
I am Weasel.
Weasel.
Weasel, you're back a month early!
Yes, well, after I took over direction of the
film, things moved along a lot more smoothly.
I believe you are speaking with someone on the phone?
It's Oscar Winner, the great director.
He wants you to star in Kissing Beast with Gene Starlett.
Tell him I'll be right over.
Laters.
Why always him dead leading part with beautiful actrix?
I swear on the stack of mothers, I find way for to star on movie!
Check it out, it's Weasel!
Oh, hello, Mr. Weasel!
Congratulations, I'm with your sixth year son-in-law!
Mr. Weasel, let me in, Mr. Weasel!
Ah, Mr. Weasel, allow me to introduce you to Miss Gene Starlett.
Hi.
Enchante.
It's that blasted African veldt, the place is crawling with vermin.
My dear Starlett, please accept my humble apology.
I promise you, my pelt will be 100% vermin - free by this afternoon's scene.
Well, all right, I guess.
I know how to starring role for me now.
Hello, fellow hardworking member of the film community.
I need my pelt cleaned by two o'clock this afternoon.
Not for you to worry, I do good job.
Ooh, cover up nakeds, please.
Why, thank you.
Two o'clock.
I am Weasel!
He -he-he-he!
Holy mackerel!
I've been robbed of my underclothing.
We're ready!
What, Weasel?
I hear!
Oh, Mr. Weasel, my Weasel.
You're looking all so buff.
I go working out at gym.
Okay, places, everybody!
And... action!
Oh,
beautiful night this evening.
Good for being with pretty lady.
Arax, hold me.
Hold me like you never held a woman before.
I never held woman before like this.
Always wanted woman, never let.
Who would play such a hideous trick on me?
I'll retrieve my pelt, and then I'll get to the bottom of this ridiculous fiasco.
Dang!
I can't find my pelt anywhere.
Oh, well, guess I'll just have to make do with this.
I sorry, I only one dance knowing.
Oh, I... Oh, my God!
Hey, Barbie, you're heading for the wrong picture.
No, there's been a mistake.
I am Weasel!
Well,
hello there, big antlersy.
Oh, Rex.
Huh?
Cut!
That was incredible, Weasel.
Your performance was...
raw.
Powerful.
My number is 555-910-1112.
Call me any time, you animal.
555-910-1112.
Call me, animal.
Raw.
Power.
910-1112.
Starlet.
What happened?
Me no remember-thing.
Creep.
Oh, how revolting.
What a win-fair ride.
Hmm.
Oh, well.
I always did fancy a vacation in the Canadian... wilderness, eh?
What you doing, chicken?
I'm bee-flying.
What does it look like?
Oh, can I fly him?
Only men can fly bees.
No!
Here's your dumb bee!
Welcome back, weenie-lovers.
Had enough commercials?
Now, where were we?
Oh, yeah!
You remember?
Cal wrote a play... about weenies!
Chicken thought it was stupid.
And Mr. Fleur fell through a trap door and got hurt!
And now all the mommies and daddies are coming to see their little weenies perform.
So get ready for part three of... The Ugliest Weenie!
Hey!
What happened to part two?
Was that weasel thing part two?
Yes, it was part two of our show.
Now this is part three of the show, which is part two of The Ugliest Weenie!
So what are you doing in this show?
Nurse!
Have this kid removed!
Oh, this is our little cow's big night, Dad!
Yes.
Tonight, she and Chicken become... thespians.
Oh, honey.
Attention, weenie cast and crew!
Phlegm, our leading weenie, has been struck down
by chicken pox, and we must find a replacement.
Mr. Phlegm!
Let me!
Let me play Phlegm's part!
Magnifique!
Thank you, Chicken.
You've saved the show.
Unfortunately, Phlegm also gave the chicken pox to Wee-Wee.
But luckily, we already have our... new leading lady, Cow!
Okay, places, everyone!
Oh, we are a pack of weenies!
We have no elbows or knee-knees!
We're all as beautiful and handsome as can be!
Except for me!
Oh, look, Dad!
Chicken's an ugly weenie!
Nobody likes me, nobody wants me around!
We don't want him around!
Before they picked me up, they pulled me down!
Don't think you'll put him down!
They will look at me, and you'll turn into a... meanie!
Because I'm the ugliest weenie!
He's the ugliest weenie!
Ugliest weenie!
We don't want you in our pack!
Ugliest weenie!
Oh, we wish we could send you back!
No!
I won't let you face this cruel world alone!
Ugliest weenie!
I have a plan!
That will attract a giant hand!
Ugliest weenie!
Shh!
My plan has worked!
You've been chosen!
Goodbye!
Ew!
Sorry, ugly weenie!
I still love you anyway!
Still alone!
Still ugly!
Still pockmarked and unloved!
Simply unblockable!
It's good to be ugly after all Now we can see it's true It's good to be ugly after
all Wish we were ugly like you Cause when you are ugly They don't come and stick you
in Hold you out A little pause... and we are back.
I hope you won't let this ruin your big evening, Cal.
Oh, no, Mr. Fleur.
I'm already late.
I'm working on my next play.
It's called The Bravest Tape Worm, and it has a big part for chicken.
Oh, chicken, don't!
Didn't you remember Mom always says we should
never run into a burning school auditorium?
Emma's asleep now.
I'm mad.
And...
I'm attacked.
Tell your mother to shut up.
Subtitles by the Amara.org community.