And because boys run too fast, they gotta wear blindfolds over their eyes.
And if a girl tags a boy with her dog, Molly, I got crabs.
The warthog, he's got to, um, uh, go to jail.
This is the jail.
And Selma and Burford here will be jail guards.
You think us guys are gonna run around with blindfolds on and get smacked by a
stupid doll and go in a stupid dumpster jail?
You got another thing coming.
Help!
Now you gotta go into jail.
Look out, chicken.
Winey's about to dot y'all with perspiring Pam.
Thanks, Flynn.
You're my prisoner, chicken.
Good work, perspiring Pam.
Man, it's hot!
Yeah, thanks for the weather report, Pam.
Oh, girls, ring again.
Hey, uh, Earl, I see the girls dialed you, too, huh?
Yeah, they got me with Menorah the Bear.
Hey, chicken, hey, hey, I think Winey likes you.
Hi, chicken.
I like your waddle.
Do you clean it with special soap to make it so shiny?
No, no, it's just, uh, naturally.
Oh!
Chicken and Winey surfing in the tree.
K-I-S-S-I-N-E.
I just shut your pie holes.
First comes love, then comes marriage.
Then comes chicken with the baby carrots.
Stop it, you guys.
Ah!
Cooties!
What?
I do not have no cooties.
Sure you do.
You got Winey Cooties all over you.
Cooties?
Winey Cooties?
Man, it's all over.
First your beak will begin to shrivel, then it'll just kind of fall off.
I don't even want to say what'll happen next.
To your waddle.
And then, and then your tongue will swell and
swell to five sev... sixteen times its normal size.
Then your, um, uh, butt will fall off.
And your eyeballs will rot loose and squirt right off your face.
Guys, you gotta help me.
Ah!
Cooties!
Terrible cooties!
Oh, cooties!
They're all over me!
Ah!
Get them off!
It's happening!
The big thing!
Somebody call an ambulance!
Mmm!
Easy, easy, easy, easy.
Hello, chicken!
How about a kiss?
Hey!
Nurse!
Ooh, it's a chicken!
Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
Chickenpox!
Right!
Oh, I got cooties!
Cooties?
It's happening!
The tongue thing is happening!
Oh!
You've got cooties!
We have a very special place for cootie sufferers.
Just make yourself at home!
Ah!
Ha!
It's the butt thing!
Oh, jeez!
My eyeballs!
I'm starting to get worried.
Man, it can't get any worse than this.
Me and my little tiny mouth.
Chicken?
Are you all right, son?
Your principal called.
He said you were rolling around in a dumpster screaming you had lost your butt.
I thought I was dying of cooties.
Oh!
Now why would you think that, dear?
I got kissed by Warnie, and she's a girl.
Oh, chicken!
You don't get cooties from being kissed!
You don't?
No, son.
You get them from toilet seats.
You probably hurt Warnie's feelings by carrying on like that.
You know what you have to do now, don't you, son?
Apologize?
No, dear.
You have to kiss her!
Otherwise she'll go through life emotionally scarred.
Chicken is my boyfriend!
And now you have to marry her!
Also, he now is the ship's captain to marry us!
As captain of the dinghy HMS Peterhout, I now pronounce ye man and wife.
Catch the bouquet, cow!
Oh!
Yay!
Our son is wed, Mama.
My baby!
This is the happiest day of my life.
And...
Oh!
Oh, puddles!
I'll never make it to pink mouse heaven!
Oh, yeah!
Come on!
Yeah, yeah!
Take that, you wussy wombat!
Oh, chicken!
Give me another quarter!
I want to play squirt the daisies again!
Ah, beat it, cow!
I'm busy!
Well, I want another quarter!
To play squirt the daisies!
Now look what you made me do, butter brain!
Okay, here's your stupid quarter.
Stay out of trouble while I go get some change, will yous?
What do you want?
Oh, hello!
I'm so sorry.
I thought you was my grandma.
May I help you?
I need change for immoral wombat.
Please?
Immoral wombat?
Oh, that game is for patsy wastes!
Want to play a real man's game?
Wow!
After me!
Hop on, pumpkin!
Comfy!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, then hang on!
For the virtual...
line of your life!
Hey,
what kind of game is this, anyway?
Kick the can!
Oh, that's a stupid kindergarten game!
Kick the can!
All right, you lizard with the lid I heard yous!
Kick the can!
How's about kick the turtle?
Kick the turtle!
Oh, well, as they say, when in France...
we ey!
He-e.
Wey!
- e!
You got that!
Hello, chicken!
What's faster, a 400-horsepower virtual steamroller... ... or a four-pound chicken?
Let's find out, shall we?
Ah!
Why don't you just sit so sh-Oh!
Ah!
B-flat.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Beginner's luck.
Now what?
Duck, duck, goose.
Oh, another kiddie game.
Let's get this over with.
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck.
Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck.
Oh no, not squirt the daisies!
Not this game!
And now, the Coop Degrees.
My video daisies are gonna finish off... YOU AND YOUR LARGE SISTER!
Oh... Oh, please!
No, no, no, no, no!
Hey, chicken, come back.
I could go get some more quarters.
I'll even show you some tricks.
You never even got to the cool level.
Hey, chicken, watch this.
I'm watching.
No!
So,
what games did our offspring play today?
I played Squirtle Daisies.
How fun!
And what about you, firstborn son?
What manly game did you play?
Kick the Cane!
And...
Mom says you gotta play with me.
Wanna play Mock Kitty Bass?
Mom!
May I please kill Cow?
You don't need pants for the victory dance.
Cause Baboon's better than Weasel.
I am Baboon, big star of cartoon.
I am Weasel!
I am Baboon, rain's king in his mind.
He's just as good as the weaselly kind.
But round every corner he's likely to find... I am Weasel!
I am Weasel!
I am Ambassador.
No way!
Oh, we work well together.
I am relaxing!
This is life!
Forced vacation!
Best idea, police chief!
Have, for I are...
Oh, that!
Those men in danger, aye!
What's wrong with the day?
This is gonna be rad, huh, Carl?
Jadal!
Then that bus of Canadians comes around that corner.
We'll take those guys hostage.
Then we can trade them for a forest of our very own.
Oh, dude, we've waited so long.
Don't cry, Craig.
We'll cut down each tree together... and carve surfboards for the masses.
It'll be sweet.
Sway the junket!
J'en AI Beau!
Alright!
Sacré bleu!
Wouf!
C'est une big soie que vous possessez!
Wouf!
Philly!
And... it's sharp, too, Dad.
Thanks Ambassador Weasel for reuniting the north and the south.
Yes, ahem, indeed.
We have finally won Dakota.
Your happiness is my reward.
Thanks to you, this day is a day of peace.
Ah!
Mountie Express.
This must be urgent.
Holy mackerel!
French-Canadian beavers are being held hostage in Baja.
Canada needs beavers.
So, we should make a run for it, oui?
Mais non, Jean-Paul.
One Nick from that rusty blade could give you lakcha.
Yes.
First your spine starts to curve backwards.
Then your shoulder blades arch to meet your ankles.
Then your jaw clenches shut.
You starve to death.
And then you get a little angina, eh?
No, you don't.
Your back snaps.
Oh, eh?
And believe you moi, that is not a pretty way to die.
I am Weasel.
What seems to be the problem?
Dude, we need trees to log to make into surfboards.
We want a redwood bridge.
We want a redwood forest by noon tomorrow.
Or the beavers get it.
Get it?
I get it.
Good heavens.
And that blade looks rusty, too.
We have not had our tethered shots.
What?
Oui.
It is such a tragedy, big time, that we are so stupid.
Boys, I know how you feel.
Surfing is a wonderful and fulfilling activity.
But these beavers are innocent.
You don't really want to harm them.
You simply want to make quality surfboards with quality logs.
You want to be loggers, like your father before you.
And your father's father.
And your father's father's father.
And your father's... Stop!
Look, bring us a redwood forest and we'll make
the most burly surfboards you've ever seen, dude.
And if I get you a forest, you will let these beavers go?
Then you will have your forest.
Or I am not Weasel.
That Weasel think he's so big.
I'll take over for real in negotiations.
Who wants pizza?
Weasel underestimate you.
Why ask for just forest?
You hold up a hand.
Make more demand.
Ask for outdoor hockey rinks.
We and hockey pucks.
And the hockey sticks.
And goalies, eh?
Dude, look.
Get the beavers their gear or else...
Dude.
What'd I do?
All the trees in Oregon, you say?
Yes.
Do you take cash, Mr. Oregon?
Of course.
Please call me Eugene.
You got yourself a deal, Mr. Weasel.
Thanks, Eugene.
Weasel buys all trees in Oregon.
All right.
Move them out.
Curling.
Diff.
And a giant.
Mr. Dresser.
Rocket Robin Hood.
Me build syrup.
The new adventures of Pinocchio, eh?
This insane.
How I ever meet you.
Meet all the man.
You wanted a forest, gentlemen?
Behold.
I killed him.
You forgetting something?
I.
bring you something for to make forest complete.
Spotted hours.
Stop.
You can't destroy our homes.
We're in danger, you know.
Dude.
Now we're gonna have to make a surfboard out of you, Papin.
No!
Don't use my little surfboard!
But I not have taken this shot!
No!
You want some?
This is just a piece of cake.
I think I just got this shit up.
No, you don't.
We're leaving.
Oh...
Oh, really?
You guys are fucking crazy.
No.
You're all crazy.
That's how you do it.
Bye.
Ow.