[Rooster crows]
Hey!
♪ Doo doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ hmm hmm hmm
well, well, well, if isn't dorkster
with his stupid excuse.
If you need me, I will be in the science lab.
Man: What's this crap?
Who are you?
I'm your substitute coach.
But, but, but, but, but...
Quiet!
But my excuse!
What excuse?
Now suit up!
[Tweet]
Dodge...
Ball!
Aah! Aah!
Dexter, help me! Please, help me!
Ugh! I'm hit!
Good-bye, Dexter.
[Thud]
Hey, dorkster!
Where's your excuse now, huh?
Let's get him, boys!
[Clink]
See you out on the playground, dorkster.
Hey, guys, watch this.
Waaah!
Ooohh!
Aaaah!
Aaah!
Dodge...
Ball!
[Ball bounces]
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Uh!
That's it.
Hey, where's dorkster?
We must have scared him off good.
Yeah!
You looking for me?
Let's get him! Let's get him!
Now it's my turn.
Who wants some?
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[Running footsteps]
Ya-ha!
Ppplll!
Yaaah!
Ohh...
You're out!
[Crash]
Dexter: After countless experiments,
no enhanced abilities,
no physical mutations,
no nothing!
It seems you shall never become
anything more than a mere monkey.
Monkey, this is agent honey q.
Help us.
Man: Yes, justice friends, I have total confidence
that victory shall be ours.
So, everyone take 5 minutes, powder,
and assemble at the quad jet in—huh?
Huh? What?
[Sirens]
Smash bad guys!
Huh?
Say, what's going on here?
Where are we?
Who dares kidnap the likes of we?
[Eek]
Silence, earthlings!
I, probodor, have brought you here
aboard the cosmic colosseum vessel, the shipodrome.
You are to be guests of my master, so bow—
bow down before your gracious host,
the spirit of competition, the embodiment of victory,
the eternal champion... Rasslor!
Welcome, heroes of earth.
You have been chosen to receive the most glorious of gifts:
The opportunity to face me, the great rasslor,
in a contest of strength and skill.
For eons, I have scoured the cosmos,
searching for the one adversary
who could provide me with suitable sport.
But lo, I have yet to find such a noble foe.
Each creature, each race more pitiful than the last,
so I spare them the disgrace of their weakness
by destroying their worlds.
And now my quest has brought me
to this timid little planet you call earth.
So, terrestrial heroes, can one of you quench my thirst
for the divine conflict, the supreme struggle,
or will your planet be doomed to the same fate
that has befallen so many?
What? What? What?
Fight me, or I destroy the earth!
Now... let the games begin!
That's what we're here to find out.
Live from the shipodrome, I'm Mike mann.
And I'm the fly guy, probodor.
Let's go to the action.
In the ring,
spawned from the very essence of the cosmos itself,
weighing in at 6,000 megastones,
my boy, the champ,
rasslor!
And in the opposite corner,
weighing in at 400 golden apples,
the viking god of rock, vol holen.
[Cheering]
Yo, villain man,
if 'Tis truly a thrashing you seek,
then thrash upon a riff of my mighty ax.
Rock on, ye of flaxen tresses.
Probodor: Mike, this kid needs to turn down that rock music,
get a haircut and a job
before he even thinks about getting in the ring
with the champ again.
1... 2... 3.
Mike: Next in the ring,
definitely a hometown favorite, major glory.
U.s.a.!
So, alien, you dare step foot on American soil without a green card?
Well, I am mister.
Do you really think you can beat america?
The speed of america? The strength of america?
The constitution of america?
Well, here's my John hancock.
Major glory,
you speak boldly, and your breath is minty-fresh.
For this, I salute you.
Man: Enough of this, rasslor.
You must face I.
I am hunter.
I am me.
Sam... ur... ai!
I do not like your kick so high.
I do not like it, Sam... Ur... Ai.
Next!
What is this?
Crowd: Monkey! Monkey!
Mike: The crowd knows. Weighing in at 17 pounds,
the super-powered primate, monkey!
Away with this jest!
[Crowd booing]
Bring me a challenge! Bring me sport!
[Roar]
[Eek eek eek]
[Ooh ooh ooh]
This is ridiculous!
Is this the last opponent this puny planet can offer me?
Sorry, babe. He's popular with the kids.
Yay! Yay!
I will not soil my hands on so lowly a creature.
What?
Huh?
1... 2...
Oh, no, little beast.
You shall not make a fool of me this day.
[Eeeek]
It seems you leave me no choice.
Probodor: The champ, applying a devastating submission hold.
Uhh.
Monkey... monkey...
Mike: Oh, but what's this?
Unbelievable! Monkey's pulling free.
It's a takedown, into a beautiful headlock!
You will learn your lesson, monkey,
once and for all!
Again and forever, I am the champion,
and so it falls upon me
to pass judgment on your contemptible world.
Mike: Wait a minute! I don't believe it!
Monkey refuses to stay down!
Yay! Yay! Yay!
Incredible.
I could crush your body, I could smash your bones,
but I could never break your spirit.
You are a marvel, little monkey.
Any world that could spawn one as noble as you
is truly blessed.
I spare your earth!
Yay! Yay! Yay!
[Ooh ooh ooh]
[Eek eek eek]
Oh, yeah!
[Parody of music from 2001: A space odyssey
Dexter: Dee Dee!
Get away from my planetarium.
Ah, my most prized possessions:
My science fair trophies!
Each year, I enter, and each year, I win.
Hello. What's this?
Oh, this must be the place for this year's trophy,
which I will undoubtedly win with my...
Spectro mechanitron!
Ah, what heavenly bliss.
And now for the mechanitron's final run-through.
Computer sequence, begin test.
Computer: Engage josular switch.
Check.
Release transputic pressure.
Check.
Dexter, press spectro button for completion
in 10... 9... 8...
Spectro button?
6... 5... 4...
No!
2... 1...
Sequence terminated.
Drat. Computer, lights on.
Hi.
Dexter, I've lost my marbles.
Have you seen them?
There's a blue one and a red one
and a green one and a pink one
and a purple one,
and some of them have spiral cool stuff.
This is quite a dilemma.
The button is at the bottom, but I am at the top,
but to press the button, I need to be at the bottom,
but if someone were to...
And there's a round one...
No, no, no, no. That would never work.
Ah, heck. I need a good laugh right now.
Dee Dee, will you come here, please?
Will you please press the button for me?
Ohh...
Ok, ok. Thank you, dear.
But I want to press the button.
Just as I thought. I will have to make myself an assistant.
I've got the brain. Now for someone to put it in.
No, no. Too small.
No, no. Not at all.
No, no. Too big.
Oh, no. I must be flipping my wig.
I will use Dee Dee.
Hmm...
Whew!
And now to start the synapses firing.
It appears that your brain transplant was successful.
Congratulations, Dexter.
Eureka! It worked.
And now, my dear assistant,
it is time for the final run-through.
Dexter: Dee Dee, are you ready?
Dee Dee: Dexter, I don't think this will work.
Quiet with your foolishness!
Just press the button.
Ok.
Computer, engage test sequence.
Computer: Engage josular switch.
Release transputic pressure.
Press spectro button in 10... 9... 8... 7...
6... 5... 4...
Press it!
2... 1...
Sequence engaged.
It's working!
Wait. S-S-Something is wrong!
Computer: Experiment terminated.
I'm sorry, Dexter, but according to my calculations,
your calculations were incorrect,
but I will kindly guide you to the problem.
Computer, lights on.
This way, Dexter.
Nobody commands my computer.
Computer, lights off!
Easy...
Dexter, I wouldn't—
quiet, woman!
But that's not going to—
assistant?
Yes?
Will you please assist me
by shutting up?
You are interrupting science.
It takes a steady hand.
My hair is on fire!
My hair is...
There, there, Dexter.
You can use my hair-restoring formula.
Rrrr!
Hmm... this must be the wire i—
Dee Dee: Ahem.
[Clearing throat] Wrong.
Take note, dear assistant.
By simple process of elimination,
I have disregarded that which is wrong,
and I am left with that which is right.
How could this happen?
To put it simply, Dexter,
the right answer is that they were all wrong.
How dare you interfere with my computations?
I created you.
I command you!
That's it, Dexter.
I'm far too intelligent to lower myself
to your incompetent level,
but here is an assistant
more suitable to your needs.
Good-bye, Dexter!
You won't question my computations.
Will you?
Announcer: The competition's been unusually close
at this year's annual science fair,
but the judges finally made their choice.
The winner is...
Dee Dee!
Woman: Oh, splendid!
Rrrr!
This is all your fault!
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education
enter at your own peril,
past the vaulted door
where impossible things may happen
that the world's never seen before.
♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪
♪ lives the smartest boy ♪
♪ you've ever seen
♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪
♪ to smithereens
♪ there is gloom and doom ♪
♪ while things go boom ♪
♪ in Dexter's lab
captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.
Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute