Dexter: The horror...
Of the landmarks in the home of my parents.
My memory will forever rest
in the room that belongs to my sister Dee Dee.
I looked with large eyes to my future.
My invention was no longer a lazy bird with folded wings.
Sliced bread was possible.
I baked the bread...
[Ding]
And now the moment of truth is here.
My bread slicer!
But wait, wait!
It was just here!
How could it be?
I just had it.
I could hardly perceive its capture.
Thoughts of sandwich meat flitted by me.
No, no! Don't! Come back!
Toast ran free.
No! Please! Don't be like this!
Its whereabouts was a mystery.
I was haunted by hours of suspense,
only to realize the obvious—
Dee Dee.
Instead of proceeding at once to her room,
I made an excursion back to the lab.
Recalling my slicer from her chambers
would be no simple task,
for her room to me was more frightening
than the deepest bush of Africa.
You see, for years I have had immense fear
of the female germ...
The cootie.
I knew it would be flogging the current of sweetness,
so I took precautions.
It was a benevolent society
with no structure or foundation.
I did not share their flattering humor.
I thought they might be daughters
of generations of Molly mobby dolls,
and by their movements,
I saw they were preparing to strike a blow.
One of the creatures began to approach me.
Its fierce muscular structure reminded me
of the anatomy charts I drew up with Dr. Gray.
Though I did not know what crime I had committed,
I knew it wanted to beat me.
For 3 days, I took cover under a wicker wastebasket.
It was quiet.
I listened to the wind outside.
Strangely, I felt proud of the marks
I had left in the shag rug.
I believed they were the first footprints made by a boy
in Dee Dee's room.
The hope chest!
It most certainly contained my treasured slicer.
If I could breeze through the narrows without mishap,
I might be able to get closer to the hope chest.
I flew fast
but only to be reminded of that which I feared from the start—
the cooties.
I took much satisfaction in shooting them
as I would a tiger.
After all, the cooties are the tigers
of a little girl's room.
Aah!
Escape was impossible.
They drew upon me in a semicircle
but kept outside of an 8-foot radius,
which in self-defense would have been the death lock.
By great good fortune, however,
a band of bubble gum tape was at my feet,
and by the merest accident— a flaw in the wind to favor me—
the trap, to stick these little buggers together...
Worked.
On approaching the hope chest,
my mouth became dry.
[Click]
I opened the lock.
My muscles tightened.
My recovery was realized.
I need no longer endure the many tortures of this room.
Why am I breathing so hard?
I knew the sound at once.
I ran for hundreds of miles to get back to the door.
Salvation!
Whew!
My suffering has come to an end.
Hi, Dexter!
The horror...
Dexter: After countless experiments,
all testing proves negative.
No enhanced abilities, no physical mutations,
no nothing!
It seems you shall never become
anything more than a mere monkey.
Monkey, this is agent honey q.
Help us.
Reading shows primate 50 meters dead ahead.
Break!
Hi!
Hi. We're looking for a monkey.
I'm a monkey.
[Imitating monkey]
Ok. Uh, we're looking for a little girl.
Eep! Eep! Eep! Eep!
That's him. Get him!
Ok. Beam him up.
Ahh. My quarry has arrived.
[Eek]
No fear, monkey.
I, huntor, the greatest hunter in the universe,
am still very much alive.
Your reputation precedes you, monkey,
as one of this world's mightiest heroes.
And as for me,
well, look around you.
I surround myself with the spoils of the hunt.
I've triumphed over the most fearsome creatures
spawned across the universe.
Though my favorite prey has always been the mighty hero.
Ha ha ha!
What do you say, monkey?
Shall we cut to the chase?
[Eek eek]
You refuse to be hunted?
Well, that's not very sportsmanlike,
but you haven't seen what's behind door number 2.
You'll be my quarry,
or your mates will pay the price.
[Eek eek]
Give me your best shot.
Ha! This heat-seeking moisture missile
will extinguish your heat vision.
My amplifizer can absorb your Sonic sound attack,
amplify it, and redirect it.
My force field is specifically designed
to use the exact opposite frequency
to your energy field.
Oh, and speaking of energy fields,
this negative ion blaster should be perfect
for depolarizing your energy field,
eating away at the very source of your powers,
which leaves you very susceptible
to good old-fashioned lead.
That's it! Run! Run like a monkey!
Ha ha ha!
The hunt is on.
Go, snorkdro, go!
Ha ha ha!
Keep on running, monkey!
I can track your power's energy output
with my monkey emissions sensor.
He's disappeared from me scanner!
What? What?
[Grr]
[Eek eek]
[Grr]
Draw!
[Grr]
Ta-da!
Whoa!
[Eek eek]
[Grr]
I'll have your head, monkey!
You can't escape me!
I'm the greatest hunter in the universe!
Aah!
Whoa!
Whew!
Aah!
Wait!
I'll just set this self-destruct mechanism
that will take out this whole asteroid,
which leaves you with 30 seconds to save your mates...
And leaves me time to get to my escape ship.
Oh, no!
And so I end this fantastic voyage
in the organism's Grand Canyon.
It is hard for any mere mortal to comprehend
the infinite amount of empty space—
[crash]
What? I am under attack!
[Tweet tweet]
At last!
My chocolate-chip cookies are done!
Stop!
These cookies are not for you.
These cookies are for my laboratory rats.
These cookies contain the wonderful formula x29
and are not meant for human species,
especially a lower species of sister
such as yourself.
Thusly, I reiterate,
the chocolate-chip cookies are only for my rats.
Do you understand that?
No.
Are you a rat?
No.
Then you cannot have my cookies,
so get out of my laboratory!
Mmm... ok.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
[Gasps]
No!
I ate your cookies! I ate your cookies!
Ooh! What's over there?
At last!
With my sister gone,
my intellectual pursuits shall be uninhibited!
[Slurp]
Ooh! Look at the cute little Dolly.
Aah!
Everybody run!
There's a giant monster on the loose!
Ooh! More cute little dollies.
Hmm. What are all the dollies going to do?
I know! We'll play cops and robbers!
[Siren]
Look out, bad guy. Here comes the cops.
Aah!
Uh-oh, bad guy. I think they got you.
TV : If the kinetic energy does not equal—
yes, it appears downtown is being ravaged
by what eyewitnesses describe as...
A giant monster.
And now, live from Washington,
the president.
President: People of the United States of the American...
People of the uni...
Aw, heck. Somebody just help us.
Dexter, the science community would like to present you
with the brain of the year award
for ridding the world of the giant monster.
Dexter, congratulations
on ridding the world of a giant monster.
Dexter! Dexter!
Thank you for ridding the world of the giant monster!
I'll do it!
Computer: Mom alert! Mom alert! Mom alert! Mom alert!
[Crash]
Dexter?
Dexter, what are you doing here in the dark?
Hello, mother.
Oh! You silly little boy!
Have fun playing.
Good-bye.
Hello, mother.
Mmm. Cookies.
Whew!
Time to engage.
[Sniffs]
Ah—ah—ah-choo!
Excuse me.
[Crash]
Dee Dee, it is time for you to come home with me.
Dexter?
Dexter, are you in there?
Dee Dee, cut it out!
You've got to come home with me right—
[gasps]
Hey, Dexter?
Catch me!
No! No!
That's it.
Play time is over, Dee Dee!
Dexter?
[Gasps]
♪ Missed me, missed me ♪
♪ now you gotta kiss me ♪
Hey, Dexter, I got a new game we can play.
Tag. You're it.
Computer: Bail out. Bail out. Bail out. Bail out.
And now it's time for...
Dress up!
Dee Dee, don't! Please! No!
You know I hate dress up!
Dee Dee, please don't!
No, Dee Dee, no!
Dee Dee, how about a cookie?
Cookie? I'd love one.
Whew!
[Boom]
You kids clean up this mess right now!
Enter at your own peril,
past the vaulted door
where impossible things may happen
that the world's never seen before.
♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪
♪ lives the smartest boy ♪
♪ you've ever seen
♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪
♪ to smithereens
♪ there is gloom and doom ♪
♪ while things go boom ♪
♪ in Dexter's lab
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