Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education
Ha ha ha!
Why do you do this?
You are so stupid!
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Oh, and let's not forget—
you're so stupid!
Ow!
Oh, yeah?
Well, just because I know how to have fun,
doesn't mean I'm stupid.
I may not know all that scientifical, mathemological stuff,
but I know how to climb a tree,
and I know how to pet a kitty just right,
and I know how to tie my own shoes,
Mr. Zipper-boot!
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Dexter.
You're like a pickle—
sour and all bottled up in your laboratory.
Toil away alone in the dark,
searching for answers to questions nobody asked,
locked away from the world,
never to explore the true mysteries of life.
Well, you can keep your cold, sterile little lab.
As for me,
theworld is my laboratory.
Good-bye, Dexter.
I shan't impose on you ever again.
Dee Dee!
Everything you said was true.
I don't want to be a pickle,
but I need your help.
Show me the way to be free.
Show me the way of the Dee Dee.
All right.
Meet me downstairs in 10 minutes.
Uh, where exactly were we supposed to meet?
Dee Dee: Dexter?
Dee Dee?
Yes, my brother. I am here.
Are you ready to start a journey of enlightenment?
Uh, yes.
Good.
Discard those wrappings which tie you to the lab.
There must be a stripping of the old
before you start anew.
And
now step into the light.
But I don't have any sunscreen.
Do not fear, little one.
The first step is always the hardest.
[Thinking] Yes.
I must cross the burning sands to reach truth.
Dexter,
my heart swells with joy
seeing you here in the yard.
I'm very proud of you.
Come. Let's begin.
Look here, Dexter. What do you see?
I see aranunculus,
a buttercup possessing 7 stamens, a stigma,
5 petals, 5 sepals—
yes, yes, dear. I know you can examine it,
but can yousee
can yousmell
can youfeel
♪ can you sing with all the colors of the rain? ♪
Ahh. Let's move on.
We'll try something a little different—
an animal pantomime.
What?
Yeah.
You know, act like your favorite animal.
I'm a bird! I'm a bird!
I'm a snake. I'm a snake.
It's fun.
Try it.
I don't do that animal stuff, sister.
I'm a straight-up homo sapien.
You can do this—
just try to... Visualize.
Oh, very well.
Visualize. Visualize.
South Dakota,
140 million years ago,
the plains are ruled by a herd of great beasts—
the mighty triceratops,
truly a formidable foe,
but his armored hide, massive size,
and terrible horns
all belie his true nature.
For upon closer study
of his flat, grinding teeth,
it is clear he is...
A herbivore, a gentle plant-eater.
That was very good, Dexter.
A little textbook,
but we're definitely making progress.
Along with mental exercise,
one must balance it with physical exercise.
It's all about the balance.
As one climbs for new heights,
one may reach the end of his rope,
but upon achieving a balance between both halves,
the 2 turn round upon themselves,
creating a wheel, spinning themselves
higher and higher and higher.
[Crash]
Are you sure you're ready, Dexter?
This is the final and most important exercise of all.
Heck, yeah.
I'm a triceratops
balanced on a buttercup
with spinning wheels, baby.
Let's do this.
Ok. This is all about self-expression.
Let it flow through your mind and body.
Just let it loose. Break out.
Yeah, yeah.
I've seen you do it a million times.
Just hit the music.
[Classical music playing]
Ha ha ha!
Hmm. Expressive.
Ooh! Ah ah ah!
Ah ah ah ah!
Daring.
Ha ha ha!
Reckless.
Ah! Ha ha ha!
Aah!
Scary.
Ha ha ha!
Dexter, stop!
Ha ha ha!
Stop it, Dexter! Look at yourself!
You're a monster!
No longer the quiet creator, but a mad destroyer.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I shouldn't have pushed you.
I know now it wasn't my place to try to change you.
Oh, Dexter...
Please forgive me.
Oh, what have I done?
[Sobbing]
Announcer: The justice friends—
3 of earth's mightiest heroes
joining forces under one roof
to face the challenge of everyday life.
Starring major glory,
valhallen,
and the infragible krunk
in...
Justice friends, assemble!
Justice friends, assemble! Assemble! Assemble!
No need to scream, major glory.
We're right here.
You block TV.
No more TV until we finish practicing.
Practicing what?
Your superhero entrances.
You two have been very lazy as of late.
Now, when I yell, "justice friends, assemble,"
you enter dramatically,
like this.
Justice friends, assemble!
Major glory!
See?
[Snoring]
[Burp]
It is imperative that you two are in tiptop shape.
For what?
We are about to face
the greatest challenge ever put before us.
My uncle is coming to visit on Saturday.
So? Why art thou so tense?
You don't understand.
Uncle Sam won't tolerate imperfection.
It all started
when I was but a wee minor glory
and my dear uncle Sam took me under his wing.
I want you
to be the greatest American hero that ever lived!
Yes, uncle Sam.
Now give me 500 laps around the world
and don't forget to salute.
Yes, sir.
[Panting]
Mission accomplished, sir.
Pledge of allegiance. Go!
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of america.
Again!
I pledge allegiance to the flag...
Of the United States of america.
Ahh. Those were the days.
In any case, uncle Sam demands perfection,
and I'll see to it that he gets it.
Now, entrances!
Justice friends, assemble!
It's going to be a long week.
Now then, uncle Sam demands good etiquette,
so when drinking coffee...
[Slurp]
Always keep your pinkie extended.
Valhallen?
[Slurp]
Excellent.
Ha ha ha!
How about you, krunk?
Come on. Extend the pinkie.
Oh...
Come on, man. Extend the pinkie. Extend the pinkie!
Major glory: Uncle Sam is a stickler for good posture.
Balancing books on one's head is great practice.
Just keep your back straight, krunk.
We'll straighten you out yet.
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Now I want this place spotless
for uncle Sam.
He's a bit of a neat freak.
Must run in the family.
Let the cleaning commence!
[Playing hard-rock music]
[Squeak squeak]
Oh...
Goodness, how I love the sound of clean.
Ooh, room messy.
Krunk clean.
Did you hear something, dear?
Probably just them crazy kids upstairs again.
Major glory: Now then, how about your costumes?
Valhallen, your hair is too long,
and this outfit is in shreds,
and, krunk, you show far too much flesh.
Uncle Sam will never accept this.
I am so embarrassed.
What will he accept?
Funny you should ask...
Ah, yes. Just look at you two.
The very epitome of the American dream.
Valhallen—a well-groomed all-American sports hero,
and krunk—a stunning symbol of successful American business.
Uncle Sam will be so pleased.
You want krunk smash?
Wait till his uncle leaves.
Ok.
[Tick]
Uncle Sam should be here any minute.
Justice friends, assemble!
Viking god of rock and future baseball hall of famer—
valhallen!
I think I got a raspberry.
The world's mightiest mortal
and c.E.O. Of his own amalgamated stock-investment firm—
infragible krunk!
Have reports on krunk's desk by 9:00 tomorrow,
or krunk smash!
Let's do lunch.
No, no, no! A thousand times no!
Valhallen, you were supposed to slide headfirst,
and, krunk, that tie does not go with that shirt.
Now, we are going to go over it again
and again and again
until we get it right!
¿Comprende?
Is there a problem?
Perhaps I've pushed you too hard.
Uh!
[Doorbell rings]
Egad! Uncle Sam is here!
What am I going to do? The place is a shambles.
I can't face him.
Valhallen, you answer the door.
Gasp.
[Gasp] [Gasp]
Major glory: Uncle Sam!
What's happened to you?
Doctor's orders, nephew.
Told me I was too high-strung.
Told me to loosen up,
and I feel great.
Hey, I love a lived-in pad, man.
These your roommates?
Give me 5, dudes.
All right!
5!
Ahh.
That's the spirit, nephew.
You just got to chill.
Ahh...
Time now for a nice sit.
Hey! What do I look like, a chair?
Nope. "I" looks like this.
TV: Now back tofield scientist.
This rare and primitive tribe of monkey-people
exhibit amazingly humanlike behavior.
This is first-grade stuff.
Hi! Hi! Hi!
You look so good.
Girl, you look the best. Look at you.
All: Slumber party! Slumber party!
Slumber party!
Slumber party...
[Chattering]
Oh, my gosh!
Computer, access all available data on "girl."
Computer: Complete file displayed for "girl."
That's all? Huh.
I know so very little about this "girl."
Therefore humankind must know next to nothing.
It is up to me, then.
I must observe them in their natural element...
But they must not know I am near.
I will need an ingenious camouflage.
Yo! This group looks dope, mee mee.
[Rap music playing]
It's a bad beat that I can bug out to.
Dexter's log, field supplement.
I am here deep in the heart of the bowels
of a primitive and dangerous tribe of "girl."
It has been said
that they sometimes exhibit humanlike behavior.
Lee Lee, girl, you can't have that spot every time.
No savies.
I touch it. Tap tap. No erasies.
Snap snap snap. No tap tap.
Erasy snap snap.
Dexter: Why, I can see them right now
jockeying for their territorial rights.
Incredible.
Snap snap!
There's not even a snap anywhere in this game.
It's tap tap, no erasies, and—
wait! I've got it!
Darbie sleeps in glamour town,
the Berry-patch sweeties should grow in the shade
of baby-animal mountain,
and the "my little unicorn" bag
should bask below the glow-in-the-dark unicorn poster.
Ahh.
Unicorn sandwich.
Dee Dee: A unicorn sundae!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Can't have a sundae without...
Marshmallows!
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
Oh, but of course this leads
to violent power struggles.
Oh, these poor savage creatures.
Huh?
Wow! And look how they reestablish their unity
by worshipping their magical teen idols.
Oh, darling, you smell divine.
May I?
Why, be my guest, love.
Don't mind if I do.
Ooh, Lee Lee, you're going to smell beautiful.
Mm-hmm.
[Coughing]
[Gagging]
Oh, no!
Oh, my gosh! They have spotted me!
Mayday! Mayday! I'm being attacked!
Oh, please don't let them hurt me.
I'll always clean my room, and I'll—
and I'll—I'll—
interesting outfit.
Dee, your bro is weird.
Oh, no. He just has special needs.
Why don't they attack? Can they sense my fear?
What are they doing?
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Come on. Come on.
It's ok. Come on out.
That's it. We won't hurt you.
Come on. Come on.
Aw. How cute.
[Thinking] They appear to be making me
some sort of peace offering.
It is best I don't offend them.
Ugh! Ugh!
I know.
Your brother's so smart,
let's give him a test.
What?
You know,
eleventeen magazine's
perfect guy quiz.
Yeah!
Ok, Dex. Question one.
What's your sign?
[Thinking] Are they trying
to teach me their culture?
Your sign, Dexter?
Uh, what's he doing?
I don't know.
Second question.
What's your favorite animal?
[Thinking] Ah. A trick question.
I had better appease them.
[Out loud] Uh, "girl."
[Gasp] [Gasp] [Gasp]
All: Dexter likes girls!
Dexter likes girls!
Na na na na na na!
Dexter and some girls
sitting in a tree,
k-i-s-s-i-n-g!
[Thinking] The tribe is hysterical.
They seem to be chanting in some native tongue.
Hey, if Dexter's going to have a girlfriend,
then we'd better give him a...
Makeover! Makeover! Makeover!
Ok. First of all, the beatnik look is out.
Let's try something a little fresher.
Nah! Nah!
Nope.
Oh, no.
Well, this will just have to do for now.
Ok. First we do your nails.
[Thinking] Ahh.
I guess I was all wrong about these simpletons.
They are humbled by my superior development.
Why, they are bowing at my feet.
Ew! Ew!
Dee Dee: Ok. Now your makeup.
Well, I think that's the best we can do here.
[Out loud] Ahh.
This is the life.
[Thinking] What pampering.
Huh?
[Out loud] What is this? War paint!
What is going on here?
Dexter, look how pretty you are,
except for that old hairdo,
and if you don't look good...
All: We don't look good.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
[Thinking] I've become a human sacrifice!
[Out loud] No!
I'm sorry, Dee, but your bro is weird.
I don't know. I think he's kind of cute.
Dee Dee and mee mee: Lee Lee and Dexter
sitting in a tree,
k-i-s-s-i-n-g!
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.
Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute
here impossible things may happen
that the world's never seen before.
♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪
♪ lives the smartest boy ♪
♪ you've ever seen
♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪
♪ to smithereens
♪ there is gloom and doom ♪
♪ while things go boom ♪
♪ in Dexter's lab