So where'd you say dad was?
Away on business.
Location's top-Secret?
Oh, germany.
Germany. Is dad's firm
Insuring nazis now?
Your father
Doesn't know any nazis.
I know, mom.
I was just —
What?
Joking —
She was joking.
Oh. Hard to tell.
Yeah, well...
Oh, i'm afraid
I have some bad news —
Claudia died.
Who?
Claudia, your cousin, claudia.
Claudia!
I'm hearing the name.
I have no idea who that is.
Claudia's your cousin,
For all intents and purposes.
Oh, now we're gettin' to it.
She was your father's
Grandmother's sister's girl.
To you,
That would make her —
Nothing?
Regardless, the funeral's
On thursday.
I thought
We'd all go together.
Two problems.
One, impossible to get away
From the inn on thursday.
Two, i've never met
This woman.
You certainly have.
When?
Several times.
I'll take one.
We went to her house
To see the first moon landing.
She'd just gotten a new philco.
I have no memory
Of this whatsoever.
Correct me if i'm wrong,
Men have walked on the moon
Regardless of whether your
Mother remembers or not.
That's the rumor.
I know that.
I just don't know claudia.
So you're not going?
Not this time.
I don't think claudia's planning
To die a second time.
Mom, i couldn't go
If i wanted to.
Fine.
Oh, wait —
Rudolph gottfried.
Another cousin?
No, a nazi we knew.
I'd forgotten.
We stayed with him once
In munich.
Nice old man —
Interesting stories.
Mom, you socialized
With a known nazi?
That's despicable!
That's heinous!
No, dear, that was a joke.
[ laughs ]
♪ If you're out on the road ♪
♪ Feeling lonely and so cold ♪
♪ All you have to do
Is call my name ♪
♪ And i'll be there
On the next train ♪
♪ Where you lead,
I will follow ♪
♪ Anywhere that you tell me to ♪
♪ If you need,
You need me to be with you ♪
♪ I will follow ♪
♪ Where you lead ♪
♪ I will follow ♪
♪ Anywhere that you tell me to ♪
♪ If you need,
You need me to be with you ♪
♪ I will follow
Where you lead.. ♪♪
Hey, i have an idea
For a new reality show.
How about everyone
Just looks out
Their friggin' kitchen window
For a change?
Ooh, she's cranky
This morning.
Let's just say the world's
Got a formidable opponent.
Wait, shouldn't you be baking?
I don't know.
Shouldn't you be knitting?
Mom, the chilton bake sale
Is today!
I got it covered.
They expect the things
To be homemade.
By someone
Other than dolly madison.
I said i have it covered!
All of the parents pitch in,
So this is really important.
You know that.
Oh, i didn't know.
I don't have it covered.
I have it covered!
Get your stuff and hit
The stereo — we're late.
That's not me.
[ sighs ]
Where does your mom
Think you are?
On a park bench, contemplating
The reunification
Of the two koreas.
Not here,
Skanking to rancid?
Wouldn't be included.
School!
Bye.
Wow, cinnamon —
Riding in style.
Yeah, morey made it.
Cinnamon's not walking good
These days,
But she still likes
Her passeggiatas.
That's italian
For "a nice walk."
Passeggiata.
Oh, god, he makes it
Sound so sexy.
Come on.
What's that?
It's cinnamon's private area.
Sometimes
She likes to be alone.
She's just like morey
In that sense.
Hey,
Say "passeggiata" again.
I can't do it
On command, babs.
Oh, he's blushin'.
God, i love
A man that blushes!
Okay, our town
Is just weird.
Thank god.
Bye.
I'll see you later
At school.
For what?
Mom, the bake sale!
I got the vein
In the forehead! Whoo!
Sadist.
Hey.
Aah!
Morning.
Good book?
I don't know yet.
I saw you standing in line,
So i thought i'd say hello.
Hello?
Hello.
Hey, thanks for helping me
Get the job at the store.
I mean, it's not a career
Or anything,
But it's got me solvent.
Solvent is good.
Yeah. Uh, are you always
This serious?
No.
So, uh, how long does it
Take you to get to school?
Um, 40 minutes,
If the bus driver's focused,
But longer if he's trying
To win something on the radio.
This bus
Is going to hartford!
Yeah, i know.
You go to school here.
You've to get off the bus.
He has to get off the bus!
W-W-Wait.
You're forgetting something.
Buses make stops.
Goodbye, lorelai gilmore.
[ indistinct conversation ]
Michel: [ french accent ]
Independence inn,
Michel speaking.
Yes, you are confirmed.
Mm-Hmm. Goodbye.
Bonjour, monsieur.
Vous etes francais?
Vous parlez francais?
No, sorry.
Parlez vous francais?
Sir, i'm just a simple
Country boy from texas.
I do not understand
This francais business
You're babbling about.
Pardon.
[ clears throat ]
He knows
You are not from texas.
Smile when you say that.
I told you there was going to be
A french group here.
It's your job
To keep them happy.
Lorelai, i don't know how many
French people you've met,
But most of them
Are insufferable.
Really?
Mm-Hmm.
That is why i left france.
Huh, i thought it had
Something to do
With the torches
And the villagers.
Michel, talk to them.
Never.
You are giving me that look,
Aren't you —
Your patented "do it
Or something unspeakable
Shall befall you" look?
[ sighs ] fine.
I shall be french,
But i shall not be happy.
Then you will be yourself.
Good choice.
Bonjour, messieurs.
Je m'appelle michel —
Ce soir pour vous aider.
Ha ha!
Vous avez fait un blague.
Tres drole!
Tres drole, michel!
Kill me now.
Okay. We've got
Our french fantasies.
American treats.
And our italian
Taste sensations.
Well, what do you think?
Amazing!
Incredible!
It is good, isn't it?
Well, final touch...
Oh, can i do that?
Oh, w-W-Whoa, honey.
This is a more delicate
Procedure than you might think.
Okay.
It takes an expert hand.
[ gasps ] oh!
Uh — hi.
Hi.
Oh, well, gee...
What is that, a dollar?
Let me just give you —
Let me find you a dollar.
You know what? I'll take two.
I'll drink one.
Mmm, tasty
And flame-Retardant.
Very henry viii.
We're not into subtle.
Good to see you, lorelai.
Good to see you, mr. Medina.
Max.
Mr. Medina.
Mr. Medina, meet sookie,
The chef at the inn.
Sookie, mr. Medina.
What's the name again?
Mr. Medina.
I know. You've said it
A zillion times. Hello.
Hello.
Lorelai, could i borrow you
For a second?
Uh, yeah, sure.
[ sighs ]
Oh!
Hey,
I'll be right back.
Trust me.
So?
Lorelai, i would love
For the ice to thaw.
There's no ice.
You repeated my full name
Four times — that's ice.
That's not ice.
It's wintry.
I was doing my job when i didn't
Let rory take that test.
I had to do it.
I know.
And i'd do it again.
I really do think
Rory's a great kid,
And i'm gonna do my damnedest
To make sure she gets through
Chilton in one piece.
I appreciate that.
And i'd like us
To be friends.
We.. Are.
Me, too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Really, truly, i swear,
There's no more ice.
We're walking in a pool
Of tepid water.
Good.
I'm going to propose
Something here —
I'm not sure
How you're gonna take it.
Oh, wow — intrigue.
I'd like to see you
Sometime...
Away from the ivy,
The gargoyles, away from here.
Are you asking me out
On a date?
Yes.
I don't want
To go out on a limb,
But i'm guessing
If the headmaster
Won't let a kid
Be 30 seconds late for a test,
He'd probably frown
On a teacher dating a mom.
I do my job well,
I'm dedicated to my students,
And there's nothing
In the chilton book of ethics
That prohibits it.
I'm guessing it's sort of
An unwritten rule.
Do you want to go?
Rory would freak.
Do you want to go?
Other parents
Would have a field day.
Do you want to go?
Yes.
Good.
Wait.
What?
No.
I can't. It's weird.
I'll pay.
You're on.
Really?
I don't know.
You're rory's teacher.
I know.
Could you quit?
Right, that's crazy.
I'm sorry.
Okay, okay, um,
How about coffee?
You like coffee?
Only with my oxygen.
Can we drink some together?
A sort of pre-Date —
Very casual, no strings,
No obligations —
We'll see if it's worth
Going down the road
Of including food
In the deal.
Just coffee.
Decaf?
Oh, there's nothing safer
Than decaf.
I'm gonna be
In town tomorrow
Because i take a class
At hartford state,
And there's a coffee shop
Across the street
That i sometimes, almost all
The time, go to around 4:00,
And usually exactly 4:12.
I could not stop a person
From entering said establishment
Around that time,
Nor would i avoid them
If i knew them if they did.
The wordsmith thing — that's
Something we have in common.
So... See you around, max.
Indeed. You will.
Philadelphia.
Philadelphia?
If you could live
In any city in the world,
You'd pick philadelphia?
M. Night shyamalan
Lives there.
Who?
The guy who directed
"the sixth sense."
But what would
You do there?
Hang out
With m. Night shyamalan.
Okay, cross "guidance counselor"
Off your list
Of potential career choices.
Lie still.
We're almost home.
Hey, babette.
Hey, kids.
[ cat purring ]
Wow, that sounds bad.
Cinnamon's dyspeptic.
So's morey.
Too many clams.
Bad clams.
This doesn't reflect well
On al's establishment.
You had clams at al's?
Al's pancake world?
Yeah, well,
We had a coupon.
Hmm.
Oh, wow!
The store!
Listen, i have to pick up
Some stuff, so —
What do you have to
Pick up?
Just some... Stuff,
So i'll talk to you
Later tonight.
I'll go in with you.
Why?
Because otherwise,
I'd have to go home.
Home is good.
My home?
Yeah, actually,
I don't have to go in.
Okay, then i guess
I will go home.
Great! Go. Bye.
Bye... Freak.
[ sighs ]
Rory! Hello!
Try a plum.
They're better than sex.
Um, no, thanks.
Fresh fruit
Always has such a —
A sensuality about it.
Are you too young for this?
Definitely.
Well, what are you
Here for, honey?
Oh, well, i just —
Oh, i see
What you're here for.
Well, that wouldn't fit
In a basket —
No, no, no, no, no!
Patty!
It's not like that.
He's just a person.
A person?
A boy-Type person.
My favorite kind.
I really
Don't even know him.
Oh, right. You don't know him?
I don't.
Please don't say anything.
I promise that i won't tell
A single soul
You don't know
That young man.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Ma'am, what are you doing?
Patty: please, honey,
Don't call me "ma'am."
It makes me feel older
Than 25.
Here, have a pea pod.
I'm assuming you're
Going to pay for the food
That you've consumed.
[ chuckling ]
Oh, so brusque.
And you are?
I'm the new
Assistant manager here.
Listen, my fine friend —
Who, if he had better hair,
I might consider dating —
I do this all the time.
Not from now on.
I'm sorry.
Oh, now,
Wait a minute, here.
I've been sampling food
At this establishment for years!
The next time you put
Something in that mouth,
I'm gonna remove it
And then call the police.
This all you want, honey —
Lettuce and a mousetrap?
That should do it.
That's a couple
Of must-Need items there.
$2.27.
I only have $1.00.
I can loan you the rest.
No, i'll just take
The lettuce.
Perfect. You could use
Half of it for a salad,
Then use the other half
To clobber the mouse with.
Paper or plastic?
I'm fine.
Lorelai?
Max! Hi!
Small world, huh?
Absolutely.
What are you drinkin'?
Coffee.
Plain coffee?
I wanted some cream,
But that prompted
A very elaborate
Foam conversation,
And the looks
Of disapproval i got
Rivaled the one
I got from my dad
When i told him
I wanted to be a teacher.
So it's been
A tough outing for you?
Well, it's getting better.
What can i get you?
Coffee, please.
So, here we are.
Here
We most certainly are...
Running into each other...
Away from the school...
And its unique strictures.
These things do happen.
Fate can be funny.
Should we cut the cute
And just get to it?
I think we should date.
Why?
Because i think
We both want to.
Well, i want to be
In the bangles.
It doesn't mean i quit my job
And get a guitar
And ruin my life
To be a bangle.
The bangles broke up.
That's not the point.
It's got to be,
If there's no band anymore.
I repeat my question —
Why should we date?
Because we're clearly attracted
To each other.
Well, i'm attracted to pie.
It doesn't mean
I feel the need to date pie.
Okay, then,
Because we are...
Yes.
Of similar heights.
Wow! Round one
And already tapped!
Look, i know
That you are concerned
About the appearance
Of us dating.
Yes, i am.
I can tell you
I am the soul of discretion
When it comes
To delicate relationships.
Dated a lot
Of chilton moms, huh?
I meant any relationship —
Work, family.
So you have things to hide
In all aspects of your life.
Do you have any hemlock?
Arsenic — something quick.
[ sighs ]
Do you like rap music?
Yeah.
Me, too.
Italian food?
Yeah.
Me, too.
You just tellin' me
What i want to hear?
Yeah.
I knew it!
Doesn't mean it doesn't
Coincide with how i feel.
If you tell what i want to hear,
I'm not getting to know you.
If i know what you want to hear,
That shows understanding
That exceeds
Your understanding of me.
Who's the one laggin'?
Uh...
Wow! Round one
And already tapped.
Rory is my life.
She's my pal,
My everything,
And i would never,
Ever do anything
That would hurt her.
But rory
Is not a baby anymore.
Don't say that!
She's 8,
And her favorite hobby
Is making necklaces
Out of gum wrappers.
You could try
Stunting her growth —
Keeping her in a box,
Blowing cigarette smoke on her.
You are so taking this
Out of context.
Okay.
[ clears throat ]
When my uncle
Was a young man,
There was this girl who lived
Across the street from him,
And he was completely
In love with her.
He never talked to her,
He knew in his gut
This was the girl he wanted
To spend his life with.
This is gonna be sad?
Let me finish.
It's gonna be sad.
Anyhow, my uncle watches
This girl,
Waiting for the right moment
To approach her.
Next thing he knows,
He gets drafted.
Oh!
Now, he thinks,
"this is perfect.
"i'll come back,
I'll have a career,
I'll have served my country.
I'll be worthy of her love."
When he gets back,
She's gone —
Moved away.
No one knew where,
And he never saw
That girl again.
Now, my uncle,
He didn't say much to me,
But the one thing
That he did say
Was that if there's something
In your gut that you know —
You feel is right,
You gotta go after it,
No matter what.
What do you say?
[ sighs ]
Maybe dinner...
Wouldn't be such a bad idea.
Oh, dinner? We could sit
Together, even drive together?
Just take the card.
I might frame the card.
Just use the card.
I definitely will.
[ clears throat ]
Hey.
What?
That story
About your uncle —
Is that true?
[ sighs ]
Goodbye,
Lorelai gilmore.
Thank you.
Life is a funny,
Funny thing, huh?
Yeah,
I love that jim carrey.
What?
Jim carrey — he's just —
He's just funny.
He is funny,
But i don't mean funny funny.
I'm being philosophical.
Oh. Very serious face —
Jean-Paul sartre.
I can't talk to you
With that face.
How do you guys
Get any work done?
So why is life
Such a funny thing?
I met this amazing guy.
Goody!
Yeah. There's goody stuff
About it,
There's baddy stuff, too.
He's a teacher at chilton.
Max — you met him
At the bake sale.
He looked good.
He's so sexy
And smart and funny,
And he likes coffee.
He sounds perfect for you.
Did you get onions?
No.
Hey, luke,
You forgot the onions!
I'm just so mixed up.
This is a real
Crossroads situation.
It's like "to perm
Or not to perm."
I'm really confused.
For heaven's sake!
Go ahead.
I'm still listening.
You were about to perm
Your hair.
I just want to do
The right thing.
I'm not sure i see
What the problem is.
There are many problems —
First —
I do not like to involve rory
In my personal life.
I bring some guy home,
And he might not be the guy,
But then she gets
All attached to him,
And then i decide that
I don't like the way he eats,
Or he hums incessantly,
Or —
Or he smacks his lips
Or his hair isn't his.
Then i break up with him,
And rory gets hurt.
I understand.
This is her teacher —
There's no way to keep him
Out of her life.
Open-Faced turkey?
Yep.
I added a little fresh lemon
And a little cayenne pepper.
You're gonna plotz!
You do know that
Rory's not a baby anymore?
That's what he said.
Maybe i'm being too serious.
Maybe i should loosen
The rules a bit.
Plus, it would be great
To get... You know.
What?
You know.
No, i don't.
You know.
He knows!
You know?
Yeah, i know.
Sookie!
I was looking
For your paprika.
What have i said
About the counter —
How the counter is a sacred
Space, my sacred space!
You don't do yoga
On the dalai lama's mat,
And you don't come
Behind my counter, period!
I was trying to help!
You bring her again, i want
Her on a leash! I mean it!
He does make
A damn fine burger, though.
He does, at that.
I'm just gonna keep it simple.
I'll tell rory.
If there's an ounce
Of weirdness, i'll cancel.
You haven't told rory yet?
No.
Oops.
No, not "oops."
The timing hasn't been right.
This is a very delicate,
Fragile situation.
It's like souffles. If you don't
Do it right, it's a disaster.
And you have to order it
45 minutes in advance —
My souffle.
Right, but i wasn't speaking
Directly about your souffle.
I was speaking
Metaphorically.
Oh. So, you don't like
My souffles?
How do we work together?
Mom, you'd better come.
What's wrong?
It's cinnamon.
Babette? Honey?
Oh, lorelai, come in.
Come in.
She's gone.
Cinnamon's gone.
Oh, i'm so sorry.
Is there anything
I can do for you, morey?
This is life, rory —
It breaks your heart.
She looked like
She was sleepin'.
I thought she was asleep,
So i nudged her,
And she didn't wake.
I gave her a push,
And she rolled off the couch,
And since i'd just waxed
The floor,
She went shootin'
Across the room.
When she knocked over the lamp,
And still didn't move
I knew it was over.
Oh, god, my baby.
Tell me it wasn't the —
Don't do this to yourself.
He thinks it was the clams.
She saw me eating them.
She gave me that
"hey, what's up?" look —
It wasn't the clams.
Morey, in human years,
This cat was 260 years old.
That's a good, long life.
Let me take her
Out to the van.
Then i'll get
Out of your way.
Oh, no, stay —
All of you, please stay.
Cinnamon
Would want you here.
We'll stay
As long as you want.
I'll never eat clams
Again.
Me, either.
They said that they rolled
Her body into a lamp?
Did you laugh?
Did you want to?
But it's sad.
Yeah, it's sad.
Hello?
Hello, where is lorelai?
I'm dropping something off.
Yoo-Hoo, "hee haw" man.
Where's lorelai gilmore?
Hey, thank you.
I could not get
Back to the inn.
You are having a party,
And i was not invited?
Sweetie, it's not a party.
It's a wake.
Oh, really? Who died?
Their cat.
You are mourning a cat?
Yes.
They lick their privates,
These cats.
Not the comforting chitchat
We're looking for here.
Goodbye.
I'll talk to you later.
Babette, morey,
I came as soon as i heard.
Oh, darling,
What do you need?
A little air, honey!
Oh — oh!
Oh. Luke.
Sookie.
What you got in the bag?
Bricks.
Yeah, good one.
Oh, bless you both!
Everyone's starved.
Come in.
Okay,
How should we do this?
We need to create a flow
For the room
So there's no bottlenecks.
They're gonna want a beverage.
Put them on the first table.
Smaller hors d'oeuvres
Next to that,
Leaving one hand free
To greet the people.
Set up plates, cutlery. First,
Salads, then the meat dishes,
Then put the desserts
On the piano bench.
How's that sound?
Dig in!
[ knocking on door ]
Oh, hi! Uh, wow.
I wasn't expecting you.
Or me, you.
I mean, you, me.
I mean,
Come on in, you.
[ chuckles ]
Do you know him?
No.
No?
He goes to my old school,
So i'd see him there sometimes,
But i go to chilton now.
Thanks for the update.
[ chuckles ]
You're welcome.
Hey, uh,
Do you have a second?
No. I have gum.
No, thanks.
Uh, look —
I have to get back.
Oh. Okay, uh, sure.
I'll see you later.
Mom?
Huh?
Isn't that —
[ gasps ] oh, no.
[ knocks on door ]
That's mr. Medina.
Tonight's thursday.
Am i in trouble?
Did the school call?
No, no, you're great.
Let me just come back
In just one second.
What's going on?
Let me tell you in a minute.
Tell me now.
Max is here...
Max?
To pick me up.
Pick you up for...
Oh.
I'm gonna talk to him
Real quick,
And i'm gonna be
Right back.
[ groans ]
Hey!
Oh, hi.
I was knocking,
But no one answered.
I was at
The neighbor's house.
Max, i should have called
You sooner —
You're canceling.
I-I know,
It's totally last minute.
I'm heartbroken.
I forgot about our date.
And forgettable.
No, no. You're memorable.
I've been "memorabling" you
All week.
It's just we had
A little emergency.
Rory?
Is rory okay?
Rory's fine.
It's the neighbors' cat.
The neighbors'...
Cat — she died.
[ laughing ]
Oh, she died.
This was a very fat,
Very beloved cat.
I see.
Lorelai...
I like you, and i don't want
To force something on you
That you don't want,
So...
No, no!
Max, you're not forcing
Anything on me.
I am telling the truth
About the cat.
Lorelai.
Max, please don't read
That much into this.
Call me,
And we'll reschedule.
I promise
That's what i want.
Are you sure?
Cross my heart and hope that
No other neighborhood
Pets die on that day.
Okay, i'll call.
[ sighs ] good.
I'm sorry about, um...
Cinnamon.
Yeah.
Stupid cat!
You couldn't have held on
One more day?
Is that meatloaf?
Do you use ketchup?
You gonna make fun
Of my mother, too?
Sorry.
My real-Fruit puffs would
Compliment that dish quite well.
It's fine on its own.
Thank you.
Right.
Okay,
Toss some on the plate.
Can i make a pretty design,
Maybe make some layers?
Sookie!
Right — tossing them on.
Have you seen rory
Anywhere?
Yeah, i think
She headed that way.
Okay, thanks.
Excuse me — ma'am?
Well, if it isn't
Kirk the jerk.
I want to apologize
For what happened
At the store yesterday.
I'm listening.
I wasn't aware
You were the miss patty.
The owner tells me you're
One of our best customers,
And you can put anything
In that mouth you want.
Those were his words.
I could have paraphrased them.
Stop sweating and close your
Pores, kirky. I always forgive.
Thank you.
Once.
Hey, babette.
Hello, sugar.
Can i get you something?
No, i'm fine.
I'm looking for rory.
Oh, i think she might be
In the bathroom.
Thanks.
Can i help you
With something?
I thought i'd just get some
Of this stuff packed away.
Wow. It's like a kitty version
Of "valley of the dolls."
Yeah, you never realize
How old they actually are
Till you look
In the medicine cabinet.
Yeah.
These were
For her heartworms,
For her thyroid,
Her kidneys,
For the rash she got
From taking these,
And these were
For the tic she developed
From taking the stuff
For the rash.
And these are —
Oh, jeez, these are mine.
Damn. I'm gonna miss
That old broad.
Oh, i know.
I don't know what i'm gonna do
With myself now.
You live to take care
Of your kids.
I know, sweetie, but you
Gave her everything you had.
Yeah. She was so tiny
When i got her,
She could sleep in my shoe.
The other day, i came across
A hat that i made for rory.
It was like a doll hat.
They grow up so fast.
And then they take
Your clothes.
Eventually,
You have to move on,
Figure out what
Your life is gonna be
When you're not busy
Taking care of somebody else.
Yeah.
Jeez, look at this place —
Not a clean glass in sight!
Let me help you with that.
Hmm.
Oh!
Here, sugar, use this.
Morey sits on it
When he helps me.
Wow.
How does morey
Get around in here?
Oh, just fine.
He had a couple concussions
His first year here,
But he never complains.
He's just the best thing.
[ voice breaking ] don't know
What i'd do without him.
Oh, babette,
W-What do you mean,
"without him"?
I saw on "oprah"
A few weeks ago —
She had on couples
Who lost a child.
Most of the marriages went belly
Up for the pain of it all
Even though
They loved each other.
Babette, that is not
Gonna happen to you.
I never thought a man
Would ever even want me.
I know the feeling.
Please — with that ass?
Gimme a break.
I mean want me
For more than my ass —
Me for me —
The whole package,
Annoying neuroses and all.
You'll find him.
It might even be that stud
That drove out of here
In that mustang.
Did you see him?
Oh, yeah — what a jaw.
Right.
He's got a great jaw.
How is he in the sack?
I haven't gone out
With him yet.
You'll tell me how he is
When you do?
I'll call you
During the cigarette.
[ laughs ]
Ow. Oh.
Oh —
That's cinnamon's song.
[ slow jazz music playing ]
I can't find rory
Anywhere.
I'm sure she's around.
Max showed up for the date,
And she saw him.
And you haven't...
Told her about it? No.
Oops.
Stop with the "oops."
Calm down.
It's not that big of a deal.
Her teacher showed up
On her porch
To take out her mother.
You're crazy.
She knows that.
Enough of the comforting,
Sookie.
Sorry.
Hey.
[ gasps ]
Jeez, you scared me.
Yeah, look, i just wanted
To say that i'm sorry.
For what?
Well, i've been
Kind of bugging you lately.
I thought
You maybe liked me,
But it's obvious
That you're not interested,
So i just wanted to say
That i get it,
And i'm not gonna
Bother you anymore.
Wait!
I am interested.
You are?
Yes.
I gotta go.
[ chuckles ]
Oh — finally!
I've been looking
Everywhere for you.
Well, you found me.
Listen, i have some
Explaining to do.
Sit down in that tiny chair.
I'm gonna do it right now.
That man on the porch
Was your teacher.
Mom, i'm a little behind
In school,
But not so behind i don't know
Who the teacher is. So?
So, um, he —
He and i were going to
Sort of hang out together.
On a date.
No.
Something that could appear like
A date to the untrained eye.
And to your daughter's eye?
It was a date.
How long
Have you been dating him?
This was the first time.
When were you planning
On telling me — your wedding?
No, by the rehearsal dinner,
At least.
He's my teacher.
I know.
He teaches me things every day
In a small classroom
With other kids who aren't
Going to be high-Fiving me
When they find this out.
I know.
This was one of the things
I was concerned about.
And?
And he felt
We could be discreet.
Unbelievable.
Are you mad?
Yes!
Right.
Because i'm dating him?
Because you lied to me!
I kept information from you.
That i should have had.
That would have come out,
Like the iran-Contra scandal.
So you're oliver north.
No, i'm fawn hall.
Mom.
She's much prettier.
I just can't believe
That you didn't tell me.
Why wouldn't you tell me?
I thought you were
Gonna take it bad.
Thank god i was wrong.
Okay. Okay.
Listen, i'm sorry.
I won't date him.
I promise.
I'm not saying
That you can't date him.
It's just... This is weird.
I mean, there are
A million guys in this world,
And you end up
With mr. Medina.
You think i don't get
The weirdness?
The last thing i intended
To do was date your teacher.
I believe you.
I really like him, rory.
I can't help it.
And it's been really long
Since i felt like this.
You can't always control
Who you're attracted to.
I think the angelina jolie/
Billy bob thornton thing
Really proves that.
You don't understand this,
But you will someday.
You'll meet some great guy,
He'll make your head all foggy,
And you won't know
What to do with yourself.
Oh sweety, i won't keep anything
From you again. I promise.
From now on,
Every aspect of my life
Is an open book to you.
That's okay.
Really.
I'm not even gonna
Get dressed
Until i tell you
What i'm thinking of wearing.
Fair enough.
Okay.
Tomorrow i'm thinking
The purple tiger top,
The black leather skirt,
The panda-Bear underwear?
Oh, good.
But of course i'm totally
Open to suggestions.
Here's one —
Get some help.
[ laughs ]
Let us know
If we can do anything.
Oh, you've done too much
Already.
Good night, babette.
Good night, sugar.
Good night, morey.
Stay cool, rory.
[ sighs ]
It's getting late.
Let's stay outside
A while, baby,
Look for the big dipper.
Okay.
I'd like that.
[ phone ringing ]
Hello?
I've been trying to get you
All afternoon.
Mom? Hi.
Yes.
You said that.
But someone hasn't.
Hello.
There we go.
You are impossible
To reach.
There's no messages
On the machine.
If i wanted to talk
To a machine,
I'd talk to my vcr.
Where were you?
At a wake.
A what?
A funeral.
A funeral? Whose?
It was
For the neighbors'...
Cat.
Mom?
I'm looking up "aneurysm"
In our medical dictionary
To see if i just had one.
I just wanted to be honest
With you, mom.
A cat?
Yeah,
It was a cat's funeral.
You skipped your own cousin's
Funeral for a cat funeral?
Not my cousin —
My father's grandmother's
Sister's girl.
You said you couldn't
Be away from the inn.
I worked it out.
For a cat.
It's late.
I have a big day tomorrow.
What, you're going
To a raccoon's wedding?
Goodnight, mother.
Goodnight.
Aaaghh!
She's working
For a sedative manufacturer,
Keeping that demand
Sky-High.
You shouldn't have told her.
I don't know what to tell
And what to hide.
Yeah.
So, we never did
Quite settle
The whole
Dating-Your-Teacher issue.
I won't go out with him
If you don't want me to.
You can go out
With whoever you want.
It's whoever we want.
I'm certainly not
Gonna go out with him.
That'd be really weird.
But i mean it.
I won't see him
If you don't want me to.
You know,
If there's anything
That makes you feel
Uncomfortable, big or small
Then he's out of there.
Good to know.
Because it's not like
I'm desperate.
There are plenty
Of other guys out there.
Sure are.
And it's not like
I have to ask your permission.
I mean, this is a courtesy.
Okay.
Okay, so, i'm gonna be up
For a while
If you want to
Get back to me on this.
I know where you are.
[ scoffs ]
Do you think you could keep him
Out late thursday?
I have this oral exam on friday
I'd love him to sleep through.
I'll do my best.