One of us has got to do
Laundry tonight.
Because i haven't had any clean
Underwear for three days.
So right now under your skirt
You're wearing...
- Not underwear.
- Mom!
It's kind of nice,
Actually — breezy.
My role model,
Ladies and gentlemen.
How come
You haven't run out yet?
I don't know, i guess
I've more underwear than you.
That's not true.
You have less.
Have you been doing
Laundry without me?
No.
- Rory?
- Okay — one load.
You didn't even ask
If i had stuff to throw in?
It was a big load!
There wasn't any room.
I'm crushed. I'm bleeding.
Get me a tourniquet.
"rory wouldn't wash them
With her stuff."
I'm sorry.
I'll do another load
Tonight, i promise.
Never mind.
I'll do my own laundry.
Fine — even better.
I hate doing laundry.
Maybe i'll just buy
New underwear.
And flutter, flutter, flutter,
Flutter, flutter...
And leaves!
Where are my leaves?
I got pumpkins, pilgrims —
I got no leaves!
Every other store in town
Has fall decorations.
Well, hurrah
For the mob mentality.
We're talking a few streamers
And a paper turkey.
How is it gonna hurt
To have a paper turkey?
No turkeys, no squash,
No pumpkins —
Nothing colored orange.
Okay,
So you don't like orange.
That's fine.
Autumn has many
Varied hues to toy with.
Excuse me, could we get
Some coffee, please?
And a muffin?
Warmed?
Man:
This is the autumn festival.
Your shop is right across the
Street from the horn of plenty!
You're smacked up in the middle.
You have to decorate.
I have to do
Just serve food.
And coffee!
And muffins!
Taylor, i'm tired of havin' this
Conversation with you.
Yoo-Hoo!
You have lived in stars hollow
For a long time.
It's time
You became one of us.
Sorry, i guess
My pod's defective.
Hey, my mom's not wearing
Any underwear.
- Well, you aren't.
- You're being selfish, luke.
Still they don't notice. I can't
Take it anymore.
We're talking
About the spirit of fall.
- Which muffin do you want?
- Blueberry.
You know where you can stick
The spirit of fall?
Here, don't use your hands.
Aah!
I don't think
You're taking me seriously.
What gave you that idea?
No tip?
Here's a tip —
Serve your customers.
Here's another. Don't sit
On any cold benches.
Taylor, i swear to god,
If you pull those pilgrims out
Of your pocket one more time...
♪ If you're out
On the road ♪
♪ Feelin' lonely
And so cold ♪
♪ All you have to do
Is call my name ♪
♪ And i'll be there
On the next train ♪
♪ Where you lead,
I will follow ♪
♪ Anywhere that you tell me to ♪
♪ If you need ♪
♪ You need me to be with you ♪
♪ I will follow ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Where you lead,
I will follow ♪
♪ Any, anywhere
That you tell me to ♪
♪ If you need ♪
♪ You need me to be with you ♪
♪ I will follow,
Where you lead ♪♪
I don't know.
It doesn't really look
Like the mayflower.
Well, we could put a sign on it
Or somethin'.
I don't know.
You wanna go back
To the plymouth rock idea?
[ sighs ]
We'll just live with it
That way for a day.
Okay, uh, sure.
You know, you can get 2
For 3 bucks.
Oh, really?
Excellent deal.
You just had a desperate need
For some corn starch?
Yes. I have very important
Thickening needs, thank you.
Nice apron.
Nice uniform.
I sewed the buttons on
With silver thread,
So that sets me apart
From the crowd.
I guess
I should get home.
You want a pop
Or something?
A pop?
Give me a break,
In chicago they call it "pop."
Well, in connecticut,
We call it "free soda"...
And yes, thank you.
Alright. Guess what's in each
Hand, you get the soda.
The whole concept
Of a free soda
Is that it's free.
It needs no work.
Sorry. You gotta sing
For your supper.
Or your soda.
Guess.
Okay.
In this hand you have —
Thank you.
[instrumental music]
Lane?
What's wrong?
I got kissed.
A-And i —
And i shoplifted.
Are you serious?
Who kissed you?
Dean.
The new kid?
Yes.
You got the new kid?
Oh, my god!
It happened so fast.
I was standing there.
Where?
Doose's market —
He kissed you in the market?
On aisle 3.
By the ant spray?
Yes.
Oh, that's a good aisle.
What defines a good aisle?
An aisle where you get kissed
By the new kid
Is a good aisle.
Oh, my god,
I can't breathe.
Okay, sit down.
No, i can't sit down,
I'm too —
Oh, my god, he kissed me!
Who kissed you?
The lord, mama.
Oh. Okay, then.
So...
Tell me everything.
I go into the store,
And he offers me a soda.
He puts two behind him
And asked to pick one.
Then he kissed me.
I'm so jealous!
That's it.
I've got to get
Some dumb, ugly friends.
I've to tell my mom.
Call me later.
Okay.
What's wrong?
I can't.
You can't leave? It's hymn night
At kim's house.
Make a run for it.
My mom doesn't
Know about dean.
So tell her.
The last time the subject
Of boys came up, it got ugly.
She thought you were gonna
Quit school over a guy.
Yes — over dean.
But she doesn't have to know
It was him.
She'll know.
How?
She'll know. She's lorelai —
She'll know.
What do i do?
Maybe she'll be open
To the concept
Now that you're in school
And doing so well.
Maybe.
Try it.
Okay. I got to go.
Hey...
Was it great?
It was perfect.
Wow.
[ giggling ] yeah.
[ door closes ]
Yeah, can you hear that?
No, no, it's higher.
It's like a high-Pitched —
Kind of an "eeeee!" sound.
It started last week,
But it was lower,
It only happened
When we opened the door.
Now it's higher,
All the time,
So i think it's really, uh,
Growing in confidence.
Okay, look, i've already told
This to three other people,
So could you just tell me
What is wrong with this fridge?
I don't — i'm not gonna make
The noise again.
I'm not — eeeee!
I don't have a lot of pride,
But i have enough
That i do not want to make
That noise again.
Could you please tell me
What's wrong with the fridge
Or connect me
With someone who can?
Thank you.
Hello... Rusty. Great.
Listen, um...
My fridge is making
This weird sound.
It's, like, a high-Pitched —
You know what — actually,
Is jerry still there?
Okay, have him make the sound.
He knows it.
I'll wait.
I know!
It does sound bad!
Okay, here is the deal.
You will send someone
Out here tomorrow
Between the hours
Of 8:00 and 9:00,
Because i work, and i can't wait
Four hours for you guys.
Great!
Goodbye!
So, are they coming
Tomorrow?
Nope — monday
Between 3:00 and 8:00.
I'm completely useless!
I'm sorry.
Oh, god,
Look at this place!
It's a sty!
Now i'm crabby.
I'm crabby and useless.
Aaah! Stupid fridge!
Stupid fridge guys!
I hate my life!
Hello?
Yes?
Oh! God, quite an entrance.
Jeez — my heart.
Rory's not here.
No, i came to pick up
That rocker that i bought
A couple weeks ago.
Six weeks ago.
Oh, okay.
That's a couple times three.
That's six.
Math humor. It's not big with a
Lot of people. Don't feel bad.
This is not
A storage facility.
I know. I'm sorry.
This is a furniture store.
Furniture comes in,
People buy it, it goes out...
Except when
Lorelai gilmore buys.
Then furniture
Stays here for six weeks.
How about i pay you extra?
I want you to pick up the thing
You paid for in the first place.
Here.
Huh.
I remember it smaller.
It's been six weeks.
Maybe it grew.
Well, once again,
I'm really sorry.
I've been very busy.
Maybe you should be less busy.
Then you can remember
To pick up chairs.
Absolutely.
Smell a rose. Got it.
And then you could keep
Your daughter
From running around
Kissing boys.
What?
Lane is a young,
Impressionable girl.
She doesn't need to hear
About your daughter's kissing.
Are the lids tight
On the paint remover,
Because you're sounding
A little loopy to me.
Loopy? What's loopy?
Rory's not kissing anybody.
Yes, she is.
She came in and told lane
She kissed a boy
In the grocery store.
The grocery store —
Where we buy our food!
This does not make any —
She kissed the boy
In the grocery store?
Yes, yes, yes —
The boy in the grocery store.
Kiss, kiss, kiss!
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
[ sighs ]
She didn't tell me.
I-I have to go.
[ sighs ]
You left your chair!
Okay, just one more time.
I've been telling you
This story for an hour.
It doesn't get dirty.
Can't help it. I'm obsessed. I'm
Living vicariously through you.
Why? You got kissed
Last weekend.
Remember? You told me.
That guy your parents
Set you up with —
The one with
The lincoln continental —
What's his name? —
Patrick cho.
Okay, let's do a little
Compare-And-Contrast here.
You get kissed on the mouth
By a cute, cool, sexy guy
You really like.
And i get kissed
On the forehead
By a theology major
In a members-Only jacket
Who truly believes that
Rock music leads to hard drugs.
Fair enough.
You can live through me.
But remember that i have
No idea what i'm doing.
I'm well aware of that.
That's why i've been diligently
Gathering information.
What kind of information?
Well, let's see. Dean's from
Chicago, which you know.
I do.
He likes nick drake
And liz phair
And the sugarplastic.
And he's deathly allergic
To walnuts.
Walnuts bad — got it.
Now, he had a girlfriend
In chicago.
A girlfriend?
Her name's beth.
They went out for a year,
But split before he left.
Now she's dating his cousin,
Which he doesn't feel
Weird about
Because he doesn't think
They were in love.
Beth?
I wouldn't worry about it.
How'd you get
All this information?
Through his best friend,
Who is really cool.
So once you get settled
With dean,
Could you ask him about todd?
Oh, absolutely.
So, beth, huh?
I hate the name beth.
It's so... Beth.
Now, todd also said
That dean hasn't been able to
Talk about anything but you
For weeks!
[ giggles ]
Aah! Stop it!
You're givin' me
Patrick cho flashbacks!
[ laughs ]
Oh, luke, the food here
Is lovely.
You know what'll make
It even better?
Let me guess, some autumn
Festival decorations?
Well, food without ambience
Isn't really food, is it?
(luke)
More iced tea, patty?
(patty)
No, thank you.
It's much too depressing
In here for tea.
(luke)
You realize taylor's
A head case, right?
(patty)
Yes, but at least
He's a festive one.
(luke)
Just eat, patty.
Coffee?
[ sighs ] aw, come on,
Are you mad at me, too?
A man can't choose
If he wants
A picture of a fat,
Stupid bird on his wall?
That's the reason the pilgrims
Came here!
I wasn't snubbing you.
I didn't hear you.
And now i'm concerned about you.
Sorry — just feeling
A little persecuted lately.
Coffee?
Please.
Are you okay?
Yes, i'm fine.
You don't look fine.
You look concerned.
I'm preoccupied.
You look concerned.
Well, i'm not.
Fine. You just look it.
[ sarcastically ] some streamers
Would look great in here.
Okay, i'm done.
Thank you.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Oh, hey, save your apologies
For the indians, missy.
People are
In a giving mood today.
The horn of plenty
Is packed.
That's great.
Do you want some coffee?
I'll have a sip of yours.
I've to get right back.
Oh, really? I thought
We were having lunch today.
I can't.
We're one pilgrim short.
I only have
A couple minutes.
Oh! You've been
Really busy lately.
Yeah, i guess it's
That end-Of-The-Year rush.
We haven't even really talked
In a couple of days.
What do you want to
Talk about?
I don't know. Anything.
Okay. Did you read
That article in the newspaper
About the polar ice caps
Melting?
Yeah, yeah.
Ooh, big deal.
Fine, you pick the subject.
Oh. Okay, great.
I was watching "general
Hospital, the other day"
They have a new lucky 'cause the
Old lucky played something
Where he could have a real name.
So, the old lucky
Had this girlfriend, liz,
Who thought that he died
In a fire.
Then they bring this
New lucky, and you're like,
"that's not the old lucky,
Because the new lucky
Has way more hair-Gel issues."
Still, liz was so upset
About his supposed death
That you could not wait
To see them kiss, you know?
When do you have time
To watch "general hospital"?
Okay, let's get
Back to the point.
What do you think
About the whole
Liz/lucky kissing thing?
I think they're actors
Being paid to play a part,
So it's nice that they're
Living up to their obligations.
Hmm. Rory...
Can we finish this very
Meaningful conversation later?
I promised lane
I'd get right back.
Okay...
I'll see you later.
Okay. Bye.
Bye.
I'm not going to say
You look concerned.
I'm not gonna talk
About how good you'd look
Dressed like the guys
From "the crucible."
Fair enough.
[ instrumental music ]
[ clears throat ]
Hey.
[ gasps ] oh, god!
W-W-What are you doing?
What are you doin'?
I asked you first.
I ran out of cream.
Yeah. Me too.
What are you starin' at?
Nothing. Don't look.
What's wrong with you?
Rory got kissed.
What?
Rory had her first kiss,
And that guy did it.
Ah...
Yeah.
The new kid.
Yep.
Oh, look at him.
Look how smug he is.
He's bagging groceries.
It's hard to be smug
Bagging groceries.
Look how he handled
Those lemons!
What are you talkin' about?
He threw them in the bag
Like they meant nothing to him!
They're lemons.
They're symbolic.
We need to get you
Out of here.
No. That lothario over there
Has wormed his way into
My daughter's heart and mouth,
For that he must die!
Let's go.
No.
You're not gonna
Kill the bag boy.
Why not?
It's double-Coupon day.
You'll bring down the town.
Okay, okay, i'm out!
Stop pushing me!
What are you thinkin'
Spyin' on that kid?
I just wanted to see him.
I've seen him already,
But that was...
Rory's boyfriend?
She's growing up.
I know.
There's nothing
You can do about that.
Okay, mr. Reality, break
Into somebody else's house.
Sorry.
Why didn't she tell me?
What?
Why didn't rory tell me
About the kiss?
Maybe she didn't know
You'd take it so well.
You want to hear
Something crazy?
'cause all the talk until now
Has been so normal?
He kind of looks
Like christopher.
The grocery kid?
Yeah.
He looks like christopher.
And christopher
Is rory's dad?
The hair, the build,
Something about the eyes
He reminds me of christopher.
That's not too surprising.
You're gonna quote freud
To me?
I'll push you
In front of a moving car.
This talk was going
So well.
You and rory
Are a lot alike.
It's not surprising you'd
Have similar tastes.
I guess.
But why didn't she tell me?
We tell each other
Everything.
This is different.
But we tell each other
Everything else,
But this she keeps a secret.
It's 'cause
It's a guy thing.
Probably.
Well, that's not good.
I have to make her understand
I'm okay with the guy thing,
'cause not talking
About our personal lives —
That's me and my mom.
That is not me and rory.
Are you okay with the guy
Thing?
Yes.
Really?
Okay — "ish."
That's not "okay."
That's "okay" with an "ish."
Whatever you say.
She thinks
I'll disapprove, right?
Well, i won't.
I will show her
That i think this is great.
Once she sees
That i think this is great,
Everything will be back
To normal between us, right?
Right — okay, good.
You passed the need for an
Actual person to talk to
Several minutes ago.
Oh, yeah —
Before the gelato stand.
You're an amazing woman.
Thank you for noticing.
[instrumental music]
Hey, sorry i'm late.
Oh, hey, no big deal.
Um, there's chinese
In the fridge.
Okay.
So, kissed any good boys
Lately?
Who...
Mrs. Kim.
[ sighs ] of course.
So, he's cute.
Yeah, he is.
Can he... Spell?
He can spell and read.
How long have you known?
Since this morning.
You didn't think you were gonna
Keep it a secret.
You were making out
In the market.
We weren't making out.
It was just one kiss.
By the time
That gets to miss patty's,
It's a scene
From "91/2 weeks."
You've known all this time?
At luke's — here?
Yeah.
You could have said
Something.
Funny, i was going to say the
Same thing to you.
So...
What now?
Now? Nothing.
No? No lecture
About kissing a boy?
No.
Why, did you do it wrong?
No... I don't think.
I didn't love
The way i found out,
But you're getting older.
These things are bound
To happen occasionally.
Actually,
I think it's great.
No, you don't.
Yes, i do.
I'm thrilled!
[ sighs ] thrilled?
Yeah!
You're completely weirded out
By this, aren't you?
No. You're crazy.
I'm perfectly fine with it.
Well, you seem
The complete opposite of fine.
You're projecting that on me
Because you don't want
To think i'm fine when i am.
Okay.
Never been finer.
Got it.
You want some?
No, thanks.
I'm fine.
So stick to our list —
No impulse buying
Like toothpaste or soap.
Rory?
Hey, you know what?
I think we have
Enough stuff to eat at home.
Really? Where do you live?
The home i left had nothing.
We're ordering pizza.
That's enough.
Are you crazy?
You can't watch "willy wonka"
Without massive amounts
Of junk food!
I won't allow it.
We're going in.
Rory, it's fine.
It's too weird.
I'm gonna have to meet him
Eventually.
Okay, how about next year?
I'm going to be so cool
In there,
You will mistake me
For shaft.
There will be
No interrogation.
I swear.
No kissin' noises, no stories
From childhood,
No referring to chicago
As "chitown,"
No james dean jokes,
No father with
The shotgun stares,
No nancy walker impressions —
Oh, come on!
Promise me.
I really and truly promise.
Now can we please go
To the market?
[ breathes deeply ] okay.
Let's go.
I don't see him.
Alright, well,
Maybe he's on a break.
Yeah. Yeah,
Maybe he's on a break.
Okay, good —
So we can shop.
Yep.
Do we want marshmallows?
Mmm... And jelly beans
And chocolate kisses —
Cookie dough
We have at home —
Peanut butter...
Ooh! Do you think they have
That thing that's
Got sugar stick on one side,
You dip it in sugar
On the other side?
We are gonna be so sick.
It's amazing
That we still function.
There he is.
Boy, he's tall.
That must've been
Some back-Bender, that kiss.
Mom!
Make sure
You warm up next time.
Okay, we are leaving now.
Sorry. Done now.
He's got great eyes.
You got to love
A guy with great eyes.
And a nice smile.
Very nice.
Think we can get him
To turn?
It's nice, too.
Trust me.
Oh, you girls having
Another movie night?
Yeah, it's "willy wonka
& the chocolate factory."
Isn't that the one
With gene hackman?
Gene wilder.
You're a wonka fan?
Yeah.
Um, dean,
This is mom — lorelai.
And, mom, this is dean.
Nice to meet you, dean.
Yeah. You too.
Nice apron.
Um, thanks.
Woman: $41.83.
Oh, wow — it's expensive
To slowly rot your insides.
Here you go.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So, dean,
Nice meeting you.
Hope to see you again.
Yeah.
Dean.
See? That wasn't so bad.
You're right.
I said nothing embarrassing,
Nothing stupid.
I appreciate that.
So chill out,
Supermarket slut.
See? Even a little information
In your hands is dangerous.
I need coffee.
Mom, the video store closes
In 10 minutes.
You run to the video store,
I'll get coffee.
Go, go, go.
I'll meet you at luke's.
Hey, um, you forgot
Your red vines.
Oh, wow!
You totally saved the night!
Thanks.
Sure.
Hey...
What are you doin' tonight?
Me?
Uh, well, i don't know.
Well, do you want
To come over?
We're ordering pizza,
We got a movie,
The neighborhood's got
A pool going
To see who falls
Into a sugar coma first.
It might be fun.
Uh, well, um...
Oh, it's totally casual.
I'm sure rory would love it.
Okay, sure.
Yeah?
Yeah. What time?
7:00 sound good?
Let me give you our address.
I-I know where you live.
Right. Of course you do.
Um, so, see you tonight.
Bye.
(lorelai)
So?
Got it.
Score.
On the one hand,
I'm glad it was in.
But on the other,
What world do we live in
Where no one
Has rented "willy wonka"?
Well, we rented it.
Thank god for us.
Hey, i invited
Your friend over.
What friend?
Dean.
What?
Yeah, i told him
What we were doing tonight,
He was totally into it.
So why are you looking
At me like that?
You invited dean...
To our house?
Yes.
Are you crazy?
Why are you mad?
We haven't even been on a date
By ourselves yet.
My first date with dean's
Gonna be with my mother?
What is wrong with you?
I'm sorry.
I thought you would be happy.
In what universe
Would i be happy?
This isn't amish country.
Girls and boys
Usually date alone.
I thought of it more
As a hanging-Out session.
I don't want
Our first hanging-Out session
To be with my mother either.
Stop saying
"mother" like that.
Like what?
Like there's supposed to be
Another word after it.
I can't believe
You did this.
I'm so humiliated.
You're totally overreacting.
I invited him
To a movie and pizza,
Not to niagara falls.
He's the boy that i like.
I looked
For one that you hated,
But it was
Really short notice.
Now he's forced to come
And sit with me and my mother
Eat crap
And watch a movie?
Well, i just invited
A friend of yours to hang out.
What's the big deal?
What if lane had done it?
You're not lane.
You're my mother.
You inviting him over
Is like grandma inviting
A guy you liked over.
You're comparing me
To my mother?
No, i just —
I'm emily gilmore now?
My, how the mighty
Have fallen!
I didn't mean that.
I wasn't trying to
Humiliate you.
I know.
If i was emily gilmore,
I'd be trying to humiliate you.
I just —
I'm sorry, okay?
I screwed up.
I-I was tryin' to —
Look, i'll go —
I'll uninvite him.
I'll tell him it's canceled
On account of
I found out
I'm my mother
And i've to go
Into intensive therapy.
No, you can't uninvite him.
He'll think i wigged out
Or something.
Then i'll just disappear,
And you guys can be alone.
And have it look like my mom
Arranged a date for me? No!
Well, what do we do?
He has to come.
It won't be so bad, okay?
Just pizza and a movie
And hanging out.
I promise you won't feel
Like your mother is there.
Okay.
[ sighs ]
You might, however, feel
Like my mother is there.
Oh, boy.
Well...
Hey.
This is good.
Add some cold cream
And some curlers,
And let him know what he'll be
Coming home to every night.
This was supposed to be
A simple night —
Watch movie, eat junk,
Go to bed feeling sick,
End of story.
Now i'm supposed to look
Pretty and girly,
Which is completely
Impossible
Because i am gross
And have nothing to wear.
Do you want some help?
No.
Yes.
Okay.
Uh...
Let's see...
This, and...
Alright, well...
This says, "hello, i'm hip
And cute but also relaxed,
"since this is something
I just threw on,
Even though it looks
Fantastic on me."
How'd you do that?
What?
I've been staring at that top
For 20 minutes.
It was just a top. In three
Seconds, it's an outfit.
It comes from years
Of experiencing
Fashion brain freeze
Just like the one you had.
How do you do it?
What?
This whole guy thing?
I've watched you
When you talk to a man.
You have a comeback
For everything.
You make him laugh.
You smile right.
I smile right?
Then you do the hair flip.
Twirl,
It's a hair twirl.
Then you walk away,
And he stands there, amazed
Like he can't believe
What just happened.
That's because
I just stole his wallet.
I'll never be able to
Do that.
Trig, i can do,
But boys and dating —
Forget it.
I'm a total spaz.
[ sighs ]
Listen...
The talking part,
You just get used to,
The hair twirl
I can teach you,
And the leaving-Him-Amazed
Part —
With your brain
And killer blue eyes,
I'm not worried.
You'll do fine.
Just give yourself a little
Time you'll get there.
Is half an hour enough?
Plenty. Come on.
Dab on some lip gloss —
Clear but fruity —
Maybe a little mascara,
Wear your hair down
And your attitude high.
You're like
A crazy elsa klensch.
Oh, thank you!
Come on, now, hustle!
We got a man comin' over!
[instrumental music]
What time did you tell him?
7:00.
Maybe something happened.
Maybe he's not coming.
Maybe he's just late,
Miss german train.
Oops.
Babette: oh, chicago
Is one of my favorite towns.
There used to be
A great club called —
What was it called, baby?
Uh, mr. Kelly's.
Mr. Kelly's.
You ever go there?
They've got dean.
Wait here.
So, dean, you like jazz?
Lorelai: he sure does.
It's all we ever hear about,
Right — jazz, jazz, jazz?
Hey, sugar,
We were gettin' to know
Your young man here.
Yeah, i see that.
Dean, would you mind going
Inside and helping rory out?
There's a struggle with a lid,
I think she's about to lose.
Sure, yeah.
It was nice
Talkin' to you, dean.
Yeah, you too.
Stay cool, kid.
I will.
Oh, is he cute!
Yeah.
And that chuck heston
Chin of his!
Is he rory's boyfriend?
No, they're just friends.
That's not what i heard.
Kissin' at the market —
Gives a whole new meanin'
To "tastin' day"!
Okay. I got to get back inside
And... Shower.
- I'll talk to you guys later.
- Have a good evenin'.
And don't forget
To invite us to the weddin'!
Oh, won't their kids be
Gorgeous!
Oh, god, i hope not.
I'm sorry i'm late.
I got here,
Like, a half-Hour ago.
We believe you.
We'd believe you if you said
You got here three hours ago.
[ sighs ]
So, dean, how do you like it
Here in stars hollow?
I like it.
Uh, it's quiet
But — but nice.
I like all the trees
Everywhere.
Yeah, the trees here
Are something.
Um, when rory was little,
She found out that one
Was called a weeping willow,
And so she spent hours
Trying to cheer it up —
You know, like
Tellin' it jokes and —
No, i'm sorry, that was me.
Would you like
A tour of the house?
Okay.
So, this is
The living room,
Where we do our living.
And, um,
Upstairs is my room
And the good bathroom.
And, uh...
The — the kitchen...
Is right through here.
You ever heard
A fridge yodel before?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Well,
You have your basics —
Microwave for popcorn,
Stove for storing shoes,
Refrigerator, which is
Completely worthless.
Interesting.
Oh, um, i'll get that.
Rory, you take over
As tour guide.
Make sure and show him
The emergency exits.
That's my mom.
She's got energy.
Yeah, well, she's 90% water,
10% caffeine.
[ laughs ]
So, what's in there?
Um, that's my room.
Really? Can i see it?
Wow — very clean.
How much does it suck
They use "pink moon"
In a volkswagen commercial?
Oh, i know.
So... Are you gonna come in?
Oh, no, i've seen it.
You look like you're glued
To the door there.
No, i'm just observing my room
From a new perspective.
You know,
I hardly ever stand here.
It's really making me
Rethink my throw pillows.
Want me
To get out of here?
No, i'm fine
With you looking around.
[ laughs ]
Nice chicken.
Or, you know,
At least i was.
We do not need dessert,
Sookie.
Everybody needs desserts.
So, where is rory?
With dean.
Oh, that's right.
Dean is here.
Yeah, right.
You need to go now.
I just want one peek.
No.
Okay, fine.
So, uh, how are you?
How are you doin'?
Sookie.
I'm concerned.
You're stalling.
Am i?
Sookie.
Hey, lorelai!
Hey, joe.
What do i owe you?
$15 even.
Okay. How you doin'?
Awesome.
What did you get
On your pizza?
Did you ask for extra sauce?
I always ask for extra.
Okay, sookie,
She's already freaked out
That i invited him here.
If she thinks
I'm parading him around
In front of all my friends,
She'll kill me —
Death.
Bloody and slow, okay?
Rory:
Mom, is that the pizza?
Uh, yeah.
Okay, bye.
No. Bye.
Bye. See you.
Bye-Bye.
Bye-Bye. Bye.
Hey. Are you hungry?
Uh, starving.
Where's the pizza?
The pizza's...
Pizza!
Just bringing in
The pizza.
Hi, i'm sookie.
I'm a friend of lorelai's.
Hi.
Nice to meet you, dean —
Not that i knew you were dean,
But you look like a dean.
Yeah, of all the people
In this room,
He looks most like a dean.
Bye, sookie.
Have fun. Okay.
Here —
Um, i'll take that.
Oh, thanks. Great.
The coffee table's fine.
I did not invite her!
Why didn't you broadcast it
Over the internet?
I don't think that big.
Thank god
There's good pizza here.
We didn't know
What kind you liked,
So we just got everything.
Everything is fine.
Good.
Well, while it's hot.
[instrumental music]
Now, remember,
No messing about.
No touching, no tasting —
Who needs more?
I do.
Wow, you can eat.
Yes, i can.
Oh, that's bad, isn't it?
No, uh, most girls don't eat.
It's good you eat.
I'm all for it.
Let's talk about something
Besides my eating habits.
Oh, oh —
Oompa loompas!
My mom has a thing
For the oompa loompas.
I don't think finding them
Amusing constitutes a "thing."
No, but a recurring dream
About marrying one does.
Don't get me started on
Your prince charming crush.
At least my obsessions
Are live.
You have a thing
For a cartoon.
Ooh, prince charming, huh?
It was a long time ago —
Not the "cinderella" one,
The "sleeping beauty" one.
'cause he could dance.
Yeah.
I've got sisters.
So, come on, dean —
Tell us some
Of your embarrassing secrets.
Well [laughs] i have
No embarrassing secrets.
Oh, please.
I bet i know one.
What?
The theme from "ice castles"
Makes you cry.
That's a good one.
That's not true.
I've got one, at the end
Of "the way we were,"
You wanted robert redford
To dump his family
For barbra streisand.
I've never seen
"the way we were."
What are you waiting for?
Heartache, laughter...
Communism...
All in one neat package.
I'll have to
Experience that sometime.
Next movie night.
It's a plan.
I'm gonna get the popcorn.
Bring the spray cheese.
So, uh, at what point
Does the outsider
Get to suggest a movie
For movie night?
It depends. What movie
Are you thinking of?
I don't know —
Uh, "boogie nights," maybe.
You'll never get it
Past lorelai.
Not a marky mark fan?
She had a bad reaction
To "magnolia."
She sat there screaming for
Hours "i want my life back."
Then we got kicked out
Of the theater.
It was actually
A pretty entertaining day.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I'll have to come up with
A different movie, then.
I guess you will.
Girl:
Are they chocolate eggs?
That oompa loompa —
Give him some thanksgiving
Decorations and —
[ laughs ]
You know when he's dancin'
And, like,
Running into everything?
Willy wonka: i haven't met
The oompa loompa yet...
[ sighs ]
These are the geese
That lay the golden eggs.
As you can see, they're larger
Than ordinary geese.
As a matter of fact,
They're quadruple-Sized geese
Which produce
Octuple-Sized eggs...
Thank you.
But easter's over!
They don't know that.
Girl: hey, daddy,
I want a golden goose.
Here we go again.
Man: alright,
Sweetheart, alright.
Daddy'll get you a golden goose
When we get home.
No, i want one of those!
Wonka, how much is
The golden goose?
They're not for sale...
Hey.
I'll be right back.
I want one!
Mom!
What?
What are you doing here?
Searching the best
Bathing suit for my bust size.
Well, get back in there.
Why? What happened?
Did the bag boy try
Something?
He's sitting there,
Watching the movie,
And he's perfect
And he smells really good.
What?
He smells really good,
And he looks amazing,
And i am stupid!
I said, "thank you."
Whoa, whoa, whoa —
You said, "thank you"?
When he kissed me.
He kissed you again?
Is he just out of prison
Or something?
No, not now —
Yesterday, at the store.
Alright.
Strike the prison comment.
So, wait — he kissed you,
And you said, "thank you"?
Yes.
That was very polite.
No, it was stupid, and
I don't know what i'm doing.
You're sitting in the kitchen.
What kind of chaperon are you?
I'm trying to be
A girlfriend.
Well, switch gears,
'cause i'm freaking out here!
You really like him,
Don't you?
Yeah.
Well, okay, then.
Just calm down.
I don't want to do
Or say anything
That's gonna be moronic.
Once your heart is involved,
It all comes out in moron.
Just please come back in.
Okay. Let's go, then.
We can't go back in together.
That would be too obvious.
Right. Okay.
I'll go in first,
And you go to the bathroom.
Okay. Good. Tell him
I had to wash my face.
Because of
All the sugar you ate.
Yes. Good — very good.
Okay.
Hi. I'm back.
Rory went to wash her face.
Oh, okay.
Swifter than eagles,
Stronger than lions
Hey, grandpa, what was that
We just went through?
Dean...
I don't know
Exactly how to say this,
But, um, this is a very
Different kind of household
You walked into tonight.
Yeah, i know.
See... Rory is my daughter.
Ah, here comes the talk.
How about i talk,
You listen?
She's smart.
She's never been much for guys,
The fact that she likes you
Means a lot.
She won't waste her time
With some loser.
But you're watching me.
Sweetheart, the whole town
Is watching you.
That girl in there
Is beloved around here.
You hurt her,
There's not a safe place within
100 miles for you to hide.
This is a very small,
Weird place you moved to.
I've noticed.
So, just know
All eyes are on you.
Anything else?
She's not going
On your motorcycle.
I don't have a motorcycle.
She's not going
On your motorcycle.
Fine. She won't go
On my motorcycle.
Curfew will be enforced,
You will not detract
From her schoolwork,
And you're gonna start
Handling those lemons better.
What?
Don't interrupt.
I reserve the right to change,
Alter, tweak, or add
To these rules at any given
Time without any written notice.
Am i clear?
You're clear.
Good.
My turn to speak?
Fine. Go ahead.
You can lay on
All the rules you want,
And you can have
The whole town
Spy on me and stare at me
And chase me
Through the streets —
Oh, i like the "chase you
Through the streets" idea.
I want you to know,
I'm not going anywhere.
It's gonna be a short chase.
I need you not to hate me.
If you hate me,
Then i don't have
A shot in hell with rory.
Rory has her own mind.
But what you think
Means everything to her,
And you know that.
I want to like you,
'cause rory likes you.
But you don't.
I want to...
And i usually get
What i want.
Fair enough.
Willy wonka: hsaw aknow.
Mrs. Teevee: is that japanese?
She's taking a long time
On her face.
Yeah, well,
Rory is a perfectionist.
Grandpa joe: finest bath
I've had in 20 years.
Charlie: let's do it again,
Mr. Wonka.
Tell your mom
Thanks for inviting me.
I'm sorry
If this was totally weird.
I mean, with my mom
Inviting you—
Hey, no.
It was good... Really.
Really?
Yeah.
[instrumental music]
Thank you.
[ laughs ]
So, that went well.
Yeah, not bad.
Did i humiliate you?
I don't know.
What did you say to him
When i went to the bathroom?
That you're pretty.
Liar.
Yeah, well...
I'm gonna go to bed.
Okay.
Mom, what's the matter?
Nothing.
Yes, there is.
Come on. Tell me.
Nothing. I...
I just — i really wanted you
To tell me about that kiss.
I'm so sorry.
I really wanted to, i swear.
I just got scared.
Oh, i know.
I'm not mad.
I just wanted to hear
About it.
That's all.
It's no big deal.
It's okay. I'm fine.
It's one too many
Caramello bars.
I'm sorry.
You have school,
I have work,
So... Time for bed.
Okay. Night.
Okay. Goodnight, hon.
Mom?
Hmm?
I know this is lame
And after the fact, but —
Start at the beginning,
And you leave anything out,
You die.
Where were you?
I was in the aisle
Where the ant spray is.
That's a good aisle.
I know.
That's what lane said, too.
But anyway, he was working,
And i go into the store,
And i
Kind of walk around,
Like, pretending to shop
For food or whatever.