Miss Patty:
THIS TOWN MEETING
WILL COME TO ORDER.
Man: NO ONE
IS LISTENING TO ME.
Miss Patty:
OH, TAYLOR. CALM DOWN.
I CAN'T CALM DOWN.
I'M BEING PERSECUTED.
I PROMISE THAT WE HEAR YOU.
WE'VE BEEN HEARING YOU
FOR 20 MINUTES.
EXCUSE ME, ANDREW,
BUT SOME US HAVE
BUSINESSES TO RUN
THAT DON'T INVOLVE PEDDLING
DRUG PARAPHERNALIA TO KIDS.
IT WAS A LAVA LAMP,
TAYLOR.
THERE IS NO USE
FOR A LAVA LAMP
UNLESS YOU'RE ON DRUGS.
OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
Miss Patty:
WE'VE ALREADY AGREED
TO LOOK INTO
YOUR ACCUSATIONS.
What'd I miss?
Taylor Doose wants
the no-parking zone in front
of his store removed.
He says his customers
are being unfairly ticketed.
It's just because
he wants to park there all day.
Genius.
I HAVE BEEN MAYOR
OF THIS FINE TOWN
FOR A LONG TIME.
I TEND TO THINK OF ALL OF YOU
AS MY CHILDREN.
UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES,
CHILDREN HAVE
TO BE DISCIPLINED.
NOW, I'M GONNA SAY SOMETHING,
AND I'M ONLY GONNA SAY IT ONCE.
WE HAVE LEASH LAWS, PEOPLE.
Daddy's getting angry.
ROVER WILL NOT LEASH HIMSELF.
Good point.
I WOULD LIKE TO NOW MOVE ON
TO SOMETHING
OF EVEN GREATER IMPORTANCE.
AS YOU ALL KNOW,
THIS COMING FRIDAY
IS THE ANNIVERSARY
OF THE LEGENDARY BATTLE
OF STARS HOLLOW.
Where's Luke?
There.
PATTY WILL BE CIRCULATING
A SIGN-UP SHEET
FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO WOULD LIKE TO PARTICIPATE
IN THE RE-ENACTMENT
OF FORESAID BATTLE.
He's turning red.
ALL RIGHT —
"IT WAS A FRIGID
NOVEMBER NIGHT
SOME 224 YEARS AGO..."
He's shifting in his seat.
"... MILITIA STOOD IN WAIT..."
HE'S ADJUSTING THE CAP.
"... TIRED AND HUNGRY,
12 PROUD MEN
TOOK THEIR POSITIONS
IN THE TOWN SQUARE..."
He's fighting the urge.
"... IN THEIR VALUED EFFORT —"
FOR GOD'S SAKE!
DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS
EVERY DAMN YEAR?
AND THE URGE WINS
BY A LONG SHOT.
I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE
TO DISCUSS TOWN ISSUES.
THIS IS A TOWN ISSUE.
EXCUSE ME, WHO'S TALKING?
IT'S ME, HARRY. LUKE.
YOU'VE KNOWN ME SINCE I WAS 5.
OH, LUKE, YES.
SIT DOWN!
NOW, AS I WAS SAYING —
"12 HEROIC MEN
ASSEMBLED WITH GUNS DRAWN,
READY TO MEET THEIR MAKER —"
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
12 GUYS STOOD IN A ROW
ALL NIGHT.
"WAITING FOR THE REDCOATS..."
WHO NEVER SHOWED!
NOW, JUST A—
12 GUYS STOOD IN A ROW
ALL NIGHT WAITING FOR AN ENEMY
THAT NEVER SHOWED —
THEY GOT STOOD UP.
THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN WEARING
PROM DRESSES.
HA HA HA HA HA!
I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT
ENOUGH OF THIS.
SIT DOWN, TAYLOR!
MENACE.
SUCK-UP.
Five bucks says somebody
ends up in a headlock.
You're on.
HAVE ANY OF YOU
CONSIDERED THE FACT
YOU'RE GLORIFYING A WAR
WE FOUGHT SO WE COULD KEEP
LAND THAT WE STOLE?
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT
HERE IN AMERICA,
WHY DON'T YOU GO
STAND IN LINE FOR TOILET PAPER
IN THE U.S.S.R.?
THERE IS NO MORE U.S.S.R.,
HARRY.
A SENSE OF COMMUNITY
IS SO IMPORTANT, ISN'T IT?
IT'S WHAT MADE
OUR COUNTRY GREAT.
IF YOU'RE SO INTERESTED
IN FACTS!
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED ♪
♪ YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW
WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
[ INHALES DEEPLY ]
[ BEEP ]
LORELAI,
IT'S MAX... MEDINA —
MAX MEDINA,
AND ONCE AGAIN,
WE MISS EACH OTHER.
IT'S NOW 2:00
IN THE AFTERNOON ON THURSDAY,
AND I'M IN MY OFFICE
GRADING A PAPER ENTITLED
"EMILY DICKINSON,
GET A LIFE."
ANYHOW, AS I SIT HERE
LOSING MY FAITH IN MANKIND,
I WONDER IF WE'RE
EVER GONNA ACTUALLY GO
ON THAT DATE WE TALKED ABOUT
MANY MOONS AGO.
I TEACH A NIGHT CLASS
IN STANFORD TWICE A WEEK,
AND WHEN I PASS
THAT STARS HOLLOW SIGN
ON THE TURNPIKE,
I THINK, "OUT THERE
IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
THAT I SOMEDAY
HOPE TO SPEND TIME WITH."
ANYHOW,
I'M JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.
I DON'T KNOW — MAYBE NEXT WEEK
WE COULD FIND SOME TIME.
BYE, LORELAI... GILMORE.
YOU KNEW THAT.
O-OKAY, BYE.
[ BEEP ]
LORELAI, IT'S MAX... MEDINA —
MAX MEDINA...
MOM...
SORRY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?
I COULDN'T SLEEP.
IT'S FREEZING IN HERE.
WAIT...
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND BREATHE.
[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
I SMELL SNOW.
AH.
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR.
CAN'T YOU SMELL IT?
YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE DOGS
AND HIGH-PITCHED NOISES —
I THINK IT'S SOMETHING
ONLY YOU CAN SMELL.
[ SIGHS ] I LOVE SNOW.
REALLY?
I HAD NO IDEA.
[ SQUEALS ]
EVERYTHING'S MAGICAL
WHEN IT SNOWS.
EVERYTHING LOOKS PRETTY.
THE CLOTHES ARE GREAT —
COATS, SCARVES,
GLOVES, HATS.
THERMAL UNDERWEAR,
WOOL SOCKS, EARFLAPS.
DO YOU KNOW THE BEST THINGS
IN MY LIFE HAVE HAPPENED
WHEN IT SNOWED?
WHY, YES, I DO.
MY BEST BIRTHDAY.
YOUR FIRST KISS.
YOUR FIRST STEPS — THEY
ALL HAPPENED WHEN IT SNOWED.
FEET.
I FEEL GOOD —
TINGLY.
THAT'S CALLED "FROSTBITE."
YOU ARE MOCKING YOUR MOTHER,
THE WOMAN WHO BIRTHED YOU.
I'M SORRY.
DURING A SNOWSTORM,
MIGHT I ADD.
SO, HOW SOON
IS IT SUPPOSED TO HIT?
MMM...
TOMORROW —
DEFINITELY TOMORROW.
OKAY,
THEN TOMORROW IT IS.
WHAT?
YOU, ME, DONUTS, COFFEE,
STANDING OUT IN A SNOWSTORM.
AT MIDNIGHT?
AT MIDNIGHT.
YOU ARE
MY FAVORITE DAUGHTER.
SO, HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU
GONNA LISTEN TO THAT?
TILL IT STOPS BEING SEXY.
STOP! THAT'S MY TEACHER
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I HAVE TO RESPECT HIM.
OKAY, WELL, IF IT MAKES YOU
FEEL ANY BETTER,
WHILE HE'S BEING SEXY,
HE'S ALSO BEING
GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT.
BETTER. THANK YOU.
SORRY I WOKE YOU UP.
IT'S OKAY. IT'S ALL FODDER
FOR THE TELL-ALL.
GOOD NIGHT.
[ BEEP ]
LORELAI,
IT'S MAX... MEDINA —
MAX MEDINA.
HEY, HOW IS IT OUT THERE?
IT IS COLD AND GRAY,
LIKE A FAT, DEAD PIGEON.
WE'LL NEED TO PULL OUT
THE SLEDS.
PEOPLE MIGHT WANT TO SLED,
OOH, AND THE PARKAS!
WE'LL NEED THE PARKAS.
FOR WHAT?
IN CASE ANYONE WANTS TO HIKE.
YOU DO KNOW THAT
NOT EVERYONE FINDS THE IDEA
OF BEING PELTED
WITH FROZEN WATER APPEALING.
I KNOW,
AND HOW SAD FOR THEM.
THE THRILLING SENSATION
OF GETTING LOST IN A BLIZZARD,
OF FREEZING TO DEATH
IN THE WOODS
AND HAVING TO EAT YOUR
FRIEND'S BUTTOCKS TO STAY ALIVE,
THAT IS LOST ON MANY PEOPLE.
I AM TELLING YOU, FIVE MINUTES
IN A SNOWBALL FIGHT,
WE COULD KNOCK THAT STICK
RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BUTT.
OKAY,
HOW DOES THIS SOUND —
MAPLE-SUGAR SNOWFLAKES
ON ALL THE PILLOWS?
THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL!
MAKE THEM IN THE SHAPE
OF A BUTTOCK
TO GET PEOPLE USED TO THEM.
IS THAT
A REAL SUGGESTION?
SOOKIE, PLEASE,
WHO IS SPEAKING?
MICHEL — RIGHT.
OKAY, SNOWFLAKES IT IS.
Lane:
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I MEAN, I SAT NEXT TO HIM
IN PRACTICE FOR MONTHS,
AND THEN ONE DAY
I LOOK OVER AND —
AND IT'S RICH —
RICH BLOOMINFELD.
WHERE IS MY CHEMISTRY BOOK?
I HAD IT AT YOUR HOUSE
YESTERDAY, DIDN'T I?
RORY, FOCUS, PLEASE.
I'M SORRY, I JUST
CAN'T FIND MY BOOK.
HEY, BABE.
SERGEANT PEPPER.
MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE MY...
BIG, SCARY CHEMISTRY BOOK IS?
BEHIND THE DESK.
THANK GOD.
[ SIGHS ] WOW.
YEAH.
IS SOOKIE IN THE KITCHEN?
AND THERE SHE'LL STAY.
OKAY...
SO, WHERE WERE WE?
I JUST MET MY SOULMATE.
RIGHT — RICH BLOOMINFELD.
DOES HE STILL WEAR
THE STAR TREK SHIRT?
NOW, REMEMBER, YOU DO NOT TAKE
YOUR EYES OFF THIS FOR A MINUTE.
'CAUSE THE SECOND YOU DO,
IT WILL BOIL,
AND THEN IT'S RUINED.
SO, JUST STAND THERE
AND STARE AT IT, OKAY?
HEY, SOOKIE.
HEY, KITTY CATS.
CINNAMON BUNS ARE OVER THERE.
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THOSE
ROCKY-ROAD COOKIES
THAT YOU MADE YESTERDAY?
I CAN SCROUNGE SOME UP.
LANE, YOU NEED A BAG?
NO, THANK YOU.
ARE YOU STARING?
I'M STARING.
THANK YOU.
SO, ANYHOW,
RICH HAS THIS AMAZING HAIR.
REALLY?
OH, MY GOD.
IT'S SO PERFECT.
IT'S THICK,
BUT IT'S NOT TOO THICK,
AND IT'S GOT
REALLY GOOD NATURAL WAVE,
SO HE PROBABLY USES WAY LESS
PRODUCT THAN MOST GUYS.
ALWAYS A PLUS.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVE TO GET TO THE BUS STOP.
DEAN'S MEETING ME THERE.
I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THIS.
I KNOW.
WE'LL TALK ON THE WAY.
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU, SOOKIE.
HEY, I HAVE A LOCKSMITH COMING
TO THE HOUSE TODAY,
LIKE, 5-ISH, I DON'T KNOW
HOW LONG IT'LL TAKE,
SO WILL YOU TELL GRANDMA AND
GRANDPA THAT I'M GONNA BE LATE,
AND THAT I'M HAVING
SATAN'S BABY?
YOU PICK THE ORDER.
I'LL RELAY THE TIME MESSAGE,
BUT I'M LEAVING THE REST
UP TO YOU.
WHAT'S THIS?
YOU HATE ROCKY-ROAD COOKIES.
I DO NOT.
I'M SORRY. THAT MUST
BE MY OTHER DAUGHTER —
SHMORY.
WE'RE LEAVING NOW.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I KNOW WHO LIKES
ROCKY-ROAD COOKIES.
WHO?
DEAN — THEY'RE FOR DEAN.
SHE'S BRINGING
BAKED GOODS TO A BOY.
WOW, SERIOUS.
[ High-pitched voice ]
DEAN, THESE COOKIES ARE FOR YOU,
'CAUSE YOU'RE KEEN.
RORY'S IN LOVE!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
DEAN, DEAN, DEAN!
♪ LOVE AND THE DEAN
AND THE COOKIES ♪
Both: ♪ THE LOVE AND THE DEAN
AND THE COOKIES ♪
WITH THE LOVE
AND THE DEAN AND THE LOVE!
ALL RIGHT, WE CAN STOP.
SHE'S GONE NOW.
BUT IT'S FUN.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
♪ COOKIES FOR THE DEAN
AND THE RORY AND THE COOKIES ♪
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I MEAN, I'VE KNOWN HIM
SINCE THE SIXTH GRADE,
BUT SUDDENLY HE'S DIFFERENT.
HE'S NOT GANGLY ANYMORE.
YOU REMEMBER
HOW GANGLY HE WAS?
I'M SORRY — WHAT?
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.
I AM. I'M SORRY.
I JUST COULDN'T FIND
MY BOOKMARK.
OKAY, GO AHEAD.
OKAY. HERE ARE THE PROBLEMS
FACING THE WHOLE
BLOOMINFELD-KIM SITUATION.
ONE — HYPHENATION
WOULD BE A PAIN.
TWO —
HE'S MY BAND PARTNER.
ROMANCE WOULD BE
COMPLETELY AWKWARD.
THREE — HE'S NEVER EVEN
LOOKED AT ME LIKE I'M A GIRL
OR SOMETHING RESEMBLING ONE.
FOUR — THERE'S NO WAY
I COULD CONVINCE MY PARENTS
HE WAS KOREAN.
BUT I CAN'T HELP IT.
I'M OBSESSED.
DID I TELL YOU
ABOUT HIS HAIR?
IT'S ON HIS HEAD, RIGHT?
HI.
LANE.
DEAN.
NICE HAT.
HERE.
OH, HOW'D YOU LIKE IT?
WELL, I COULD TELL YOU,
BUT THEN I'D HAVE TO KILL YOU.
AHA — YOU LIKED IT.
YOU LIKED JANE AUSTEN.
I KNEW YOU WOULD.
LANE,
DEAN LIKES JANE AUSTEN.
WOW, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT?
I TOLD HIM HE WOULD,
BUT HE WAS ALL,
"FORGET JANE AUSTEN,
YOU HAVE TO READ
HUNTER THOMPSON."
YOU DO HAVE TO READ
HUNTER THOMPSON.
NOT AS MUCH AS YOU NEEDED
TO READ JANE AUSTEN.
YEAH, YEAH.
HEY, WHAT'S THAT?
JUST SOME COOKIES.
ROCKY ROAD.
YEAH.
WOW.
SHE BRINGS ME COOKIES.
HOW CAN I REPAY HER?
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
CHARLOTTE BRONTE?
HOW ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?
THAT'S GOOD, TOO.
OKAY, I GOTTA GO.
I'M GONNA BE LATE FOR HOMEROOM.
I HAVE THAT PERFECT-ATTENDANCE
CERTIFICATE IN MY SIGHTS.
SEE YOU LATER.
YEAH, SEE YA.
ANYWAYS,
THIS BOOK WAS ALL RIGHT...
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WE HAVE FLAKES.
FLAKES HAVE BEEN SIGHTED.
FLAKEAGE, IF YOU WILL,
HAS BEGUN.
MICHEL, IT'S THE FIRST SNOWFALL
OF THE SEASON.
IT'S VERY LUCKY.
MAKE A WISH.
GET AWAY FROM ME.
OH, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
Michel: INDEPENDENCE INN.
THE WORLD CHANGES
WHEN IT SNOWS.
It gets quiet.
EVERYTHING SOFTENS.
IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
AND THEN THE RAIN COMES.
HI, MOM.
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEWS?
EVER?
A BAD STORM IS HEADING YOUR WAY.
IT'S ALREADY HITTING US HERE.
DON'T PANIC. I'LL GET THE ARK,
YOU GET THE ANIMALS.
I JUST SENT LANCE
TO PICK UP RORY AT SCHOOL.
THE ROADS ARE TERRIBLE —
BLACK ICE EVERYWHERE.
IT'S JUST A MESS OUT THERE.
I HATE THIS KIND OF WEATHER.
SO, ANYHOW,
WHAT TIME WILL YOU GET HERE?
GEE, LET ME SEE —
BLACK ICE, TREACHEROUS ROADS —
I GUESS I'LL JUST PUT ON
MY RED-WHITE-AND-BLUE LEOTARD,
GRAB MY GOLDEN LASSO,
AND FLY THE INVISIBLE
PLANE ON OVER.
YOU'RE NOT COMING.
IF IT'S AS BAD
AS YOU SAY IT IS,
I DON'T SEE HOW I'D GET THERE.
I GUESS IT'LL JUST BE
THE THREE OF US THEN.
I guess so.
AND RORY SHOULD PROBABLY
SPEND THE NIGHT TONIGHT ALSO.
Okay.
AND IF IT'S STILL BAD
TOMORROW —
MOM, WHY DON'T YOU WAIT
AND SEE WHAT THE WEATHER DOES
BEFORE YOU FILL OUT
A CHANGE-OF-ADDRESS CARD
FOR HER?
HEY, GRANDMA.
RORY'S HERE.
Put her on.
RORY, IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
HEY.
HI!
THINGS BAD OUT THERE, HUH?
IT'S CRAZY. THERE'S SNOW
COMING DOWN EVERYWHERE,
AND LET ME JUST TELL YOU,
SADDLE SHOES ARE NOT THE BEST
ALL-WEATHER FOOTWEAR.
AW! YOU FELL.
TWICE.
Yikes. I'm sorry.
WHAT'S THE DEAL?
ARE YOU COMING OVER TONIGHT?
NO, I GUESS I'M PRETTY MUCH
STUCK IN THE HOLLOW TONIGHT.
BUMMER. WE CAN TAKE
OUR SNOW WALK TOMORROW NIGHT.
Absolutely.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, HONEY,
TELL GRANDMA YOU ARRIVED THERE
NOT A MEMBER
OF THE JUNIOR LEAGUE.
I'D LIKE YOU TO LEAVE THERE
THE SAME WAY.
CALL IF YOU GET LONELY.
I WILL. BYE.
HARRY, COME ON. STOP THIS BEFORE
SOMEBODY DRIVES THROUGH TOWN
AND THINKS THE LOCAL MENTAL
INSTITUTION HAS BAD PADLOCKS.
LUKE, YOU OUGHT TO BE
ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
YOUR FATHER WAS A RE-ENACTOR.
YES, AND I THOUGHT
HE WAS CRAZY ALSO.
WHO'S STEPPING ON MY MUSKET?
THAT'D BE ME.
WELL, STOP IT.
[ GIGGLES ]
THERE GOES THE FIRE CHIEF,
THE POLICE CHIEF,
AND THE ONE PARAMEDIC
WITH A VALID LICENSE.
I FEEL SAFE.
DON'T YOU?
LOOK AT THEM —
ALL RELATIVELY INTELLIGENT MEN,
BUT THERE THEY ARE,
DRESSED UP IN COSTUMES,
STANDING OUT IN A SNOWSTORM,
AND FOR WHAT?
BECAUSE IT'S TRADITION.
TRADITION IS A TRAP
THAT ALLOWS PEOPLE
TO STICK THEIR HEAD
IN THE SAND.
EVERYTHING IN THE PAST
WAS SO QUAINT, SO CHARMING.
TIMES WERE SIMPLER.
KIDS DIDN'T HAVE SEX.
NEIGHBORS KNEW EACH OTHER.
IT'S A FREAKING FAIRY TALE.
THINGS SUCKED THEN, TOO.
IT JUST SUCKED
WITHOUT INDOOR PLUMBING.
I THINK SOME TRADITIONS
ARE NICE —
BIRTHDAYS, HOLIDAYS,
TAKING A WALK IN THE FIRST SNOW
OF THE SEASON.
I DIDN'T GET THE HALLMARK CARD
FOR THAT ONE.
WHEN I WAS 5, I HAD
A REALLY BAD EAR INFECTION,
AND I HAD BEEN HOME
IN BED FOR A WEEK,
AND I WAS VERY SAD.
SO I WISHED REALLY HARD
THAT SOMETHING WONDERFUL
WOULD HAPPEN TO ME,
AND I WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING,
AND IT HAD SNOWED,
AND I WAS SURE
THAT SOME FAIRY GODMOTHER
HAD DONE IT JUST FOR ME —
IT WAS MY LITTLE PRESENT.
YOUR PARENTS NEVER EXPLAINED
THE CONCEPT OF WEATHER TO YOU?
I AM MAKING A POINT,
MOUTHY McGEE.
OF COURSE MANY YEARS LATER,
I REALIZED THAT, LOGICALLY,
THE SNOW WAS NOT THERE
FOR ME PERSONALLY,
BUT STILL, WHEN IT SNOWS,
SOMETHING INSIDE ME SAYS,
"HEY, THAT'S YOUR PRESENT."
I DON'T THINK
IT'LL EVER CHANGE.
MY FATHER USED TO BE
ONE OF THOSE GUYS.
YEAH?
YEAH.
EVEN HAD HIS OWN MUSKET.
REALLY?
NEVER HAD TO RENT IT.
WHERE'S THE MUSKET NOW?
HE WAS BURIED WITH IT.
WOW.
YEP, HE LOVED THAT MUSKET.
THAT'S NICE IN
A DISTURBING SORT OF WAY.
COME ON IN.
I'LL GET YOU SOME COFFEE.
NO, THANKS.
I'M GONNA WALK AROUND,
ENJOY MY PRESENT A LITTLE.
Man: PEOPLE, PEOPLE!
PLEASE GET INTO FORMATION —
HATS ON
AND INSTRUMENTS IN PLACE.
DO NOT — I REPEAT —
DO NOT ACTUALLY PUT INSTRUMENTS
TO YOUR MOUTHS
UNTIL WE ARE INSIDE.
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE FLAUTIST LAST YEAR.
OH.
I SMELL SNOW.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
WHAT'S UP, TEACH?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I LIVE HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I WAS ON MY WAY BACK
FROM STANFORD.
MY CAR DECIDED TO STOP.
HERE?
YES.
IN MY TOWN?
YES.
GOOD CAR.
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.
YOU TOO.
A MINUTE AGO I WAS REALLY
ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING,
AND NOW I JUST CAN'T
REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS.
THAT'S SNOW FOR YOU.
I GUESS SO.
SO, THIS IS QUITE
A PREDICAMENT YOU'RE IN —
STRANDED HERE IN A STRANGE TOWN
WITH NO ONE YOU KNOW.
OH, WAIT!
WHERE'S RORY TONIGHT?
SHE IS IN HARTFORD
WITH HER GRANDPARENTS.
THAT MUST BE NICE.
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
SO RORY'S IN HARTFORD?
YES.
AND I'M IN STARS HOLLOW.
CORRECT.
AND YOU ARE...
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHERE I SHOULD TAKE YOU.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHERE I SHOULD TAKE YOU.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
YOU KNOW NOTHING AROUND HERE.
NO, BUT I WAS THE ONE
WHO ASKED YOU OUT INITIALLY,
SO, THEREFORE, I AM STILL
OBLIGATED TO DO THE TAKING.
YES, BUT I WAS THE ONE
WHO DID THE CANCELING
AFTER YOU DID THE ASKING.
THEREFORE, YOU FORFEIT
YOUR TAKING RIGHTS TO ME,
THE CANCELER.
WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA DO THIS?
YES, WE ARE.
LET ME JUST GIVE THIS GUY
MY KEYS, AND WE'LL GO.
GREAT.
GREAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
WELL, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU WAITED SO LATE TO CALL.
ARE YOU SURE?
FINE.
ALL RIGHT.
YES. GOODBYE.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO NOW.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, EMILY?
THE PROBLEM IS THAT APPARENTLY
FLORENCE CANNOT GET HERE
BECAUSE OF THE STORM.
FLORENCE?
OUR COOK.
OH. WELL, WE'LL JUST
HAVE TO GO OUT THEN.
OH, PLEASE, RICHARD,
PAY ATTENTION. WE CAN'T GO OUT.
IT'S MISERABLE OUT THERE.
WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
WHAT? WHAT WILL WE FIGURE OUT?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW —
I HATE THE DAMN SNOW.
EMILY, CALM DOWN.
THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM.
THESE FRIDAY DINNERS
ARE THE ONLY PROPER FOOD
THAT CHILD EATS ALL WEEK.
RORY, ARE YOU IN ANY WAY
MALNOURISHED
OR IN NEED OF SOME INTERNATIONAL
RELIEF ORGANIZATION
TO RECRUIT A CELEBRITY
TO RAISE MONEY ON YOUR ACCOUNT?
I'M GOOD.
SHE'S GOOD, EMILY.
YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR
REARS ITS UGLY HEAD
AT THE ODDEST OF TIMES,
RICHARD.
EMILY, I'M NOT THE MASTERMIND
BEHIND SOME GREAT SCHEME
TO SPOIL YOUR DINNER PLANS,
AND I DON'T CARE
TO BE TREATED AS SUCH.
SO YOU'RE FINE WITH HAVING
NO DINNER TONIGHT? IS THAT IT?
I CERTAINLY AM NOT.
HOW ABOUT
I CHECK THE FRIDGE?
I'M SURE THERE'S SOMETHING
IN THERE WE COULD WHIP UP.
WHIP UP?
YEAH, COME ON.
IT'LL BE FUN,
I PROMISE.
WELL, COME ON,
MR. "WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT."
NOTHING.
NOT A BLESSED THING.
THERE'S FROZEN PIZZA.
HOW IN THE WORLD
DID THAT GET THERE?
MAYBE YOU BOUGHT IT
AND FORGOT ABOUT IT.
I HAVE NEVER BOUGHT
FROZEN PIZZA. IT MUST
BELONG TO ANNA.
THE MAID.
YES.
AH, GOT ONE!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M GONNA MAKE IT.
RORY, YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.
THAT HARDLY LOOKS LIKE DINNER.
I AGREE. RORY, THAT'S FOOD
YOU EAT AT A CARNIVAL
OR IN A TURKISH PRISON.
I PROMISE
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.
BUT —
LISTEN, JUST LEAVE IT UP TO ME.
YOU GUYS GO BACK
INTO THE LIVING ROOM,
AND I'LL CALL YOU
WHEN IT'S READY.
MMM.
HEY, GRANDMA?
YES?
WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF YOU KNOWING
WHERE A COOKIE SHEET WOULD BE?
I'D SAY VERY SLIM.
NEVER MIND.
I'LL FIND IT.
VERY SLIM?
THANK YOU FOR THAT.
THANK YOU.
HOLD THAT.
THANKS.
GOD, IT'S
A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT, HUH?
YES, IT IS.
SO, TELL ME SOMETHING
ABOUT YOURSELF.
LIKE WHAT?
HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN MARRIED?
NOPE.
EVER BEEN CLOSE?
ONCE.
AND?
SHE'S IN THAILAND NOW.
SEX TRADE?
BANK OF AMERICA.
IT'S USUALLY ONE OR THE OTHER.
SHE WENT THERE ON BUSINESS.
SHE DID WELL.
SHE NEVER CAME BACK.
OH — SAD.
IT WAS AT THE TIME,
BUT IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE...
AH, HE BELIEVES IN FATE.
FATE, POETRY, LOVE —
THEY ALL GO TOGETHER.
YES, THEY DO.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
I'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED.
EVER BEEN CLOSE?
RORY'S DAD PROPOSED.
WHAT HAPPENED?
THE BELL RANG.
I WAS LATE FOR CHEM LAB.
EVER SORRY THAT YOU DIDN'T?
NO, WE WERE SO YOUNG,
AND MY LIFE WOULD'VE BEEN
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
I WOULDN'T LIVE HERE.
I WOULDN'T WORK HERE.
I WOULDN'T BE WALKING
HERE WITH YOU.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
YOU'LL SEE.
ARE WE GONNA GET THERE
BEFORE WE FREEZE?
WHAT KIND OF FUN WOULD IT BE
IF I TOLD YOU THE ANSWER?
YOU'RE CRAZY.
VERY POSSIBLE.
AND I'M FOLLOWING YOU.
YES, YOU ARE.
SO POSSIBLY,
I'M CRAZIER THEN YOU ARE.
AGAIN, VERY POSSIBLE.
A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.
OR IN BELLEVUE.
MUST BE FATE.
OH, THIS IS GETTING
RIDICULOUS, AARON.
I WILL NOT CONTINUE
TO HAVE THESE CONVERSATIONS
WITH A CHILD.
YES, HE IS A CHILD.
WELL, WHEN HE'S WORKED
30 YEARS AT THE COMPANY,
THAT'S WHEN HE'S NOT A CHILD.
UNTIL THEN, I DON'T CARE
WHAT HIS OPINIONS ARE.
AARON, ARE YOU
LISTENING TO ME?
GOOD, BECAUSE I'M
HANGING UP ON YOU NOW,
AND I WANTED TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU HEARD IT.
[ RECEIVER BANGS ]
WHAT A MORON.
[ BEEPING ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO? RORY?
LANE?
Where are you?
I'M AT MY GRANDPARENTS'.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
AT MY HOUSE?
LIKE YOU CARE.
What are you talking about?
YOU'RE NEVER AROUND
WHEN I NEED YOU.
YOU KNOW I HAVE TO GO
TO MY GRANDPARENTS' ON FRIDAYS.
I KNOW, YOU GO
TO YOUR GRANDPARENTS'.
YOU GO TO CHILTON.
YOU HAVE TO MEET DEAN.
HE NEEDS HIS COOKIES.
"I CAN'T FIND MY BOOKS."
WHAT ARE YOU TAKING ABOUT?
WHAT GOOD IS IT
TO HAVE A BEST FRIEND,
WHEN SHE'S NEVER AROUND,
SHE NEVER LISTENS,
AND SHE HAS NO INTEREST
IN THE FACT THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE
OR THAT YOU TOUCHED HIS HAIR?
YOU TOUCHED WHOSE HAIR?
RICH BLOOMINFELD.
WHY WOULD YOU TOUCH
RICH BLOOMINFELD'S HAIR?
WHY? THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION!
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
WHY WOULD A SANE PERSON
DO A THING LIKE THAT?
MAYBE I'M NOT SANE.
MAYBE I'M GOING THROUGH
SOME SORT OF PHASE.
MAYBE I REALLY, REALLY
NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK TO,
ABOUT THIS,
AND YOU WEREN'T THERE.
LANE, COME ON.
NO, YOU COME ON.
YOU'RE ALWAYS AT SCHOOL
OR YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL
OR YOU'RE WITH DEAN.
YOU HAVE EVERYTHING NOW
AND I HAVE NOTHING,
EXCEPT FOR
2,000 KOREAN BIBLES
AND A POTENTIAL "F"
IN JAZZ BAND.
I'M SORRY.
DON'T BE SORRY, BE HERE.
I — LANE?
ARE YOU THERE?
RORY? RORY?
LANE?
THERE YOU ARE.
I THINK THE PHONES WENT DEAD.
IT'S PROBABLY
THIS HORRIBLE STORM.
YOU MUST COME DOWNSTAIRS
IMMEDIATELY.
WHAT'S WRONG?
THE STOVE IS BUZZING.
IT'S JUST THE TIMER, GRANDMA.
I KNOW IT'S THE TIMER, RORY.
WHAT I DON'T KNOW,
IS WHERE IT'S LOCATED
OR HOW TO TURN IT OFF.
BUT I REALLY NEED
TO CALL LANE BACK.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO NOW.
THE PHONES WILL COME BACK ON
EVENTUALLY.
PLEASE COME DOWNSTAIRS
AND HELP ME STOP THE BUZZING.
BUT—
Richard: EMILY, FOR HEAVEN'S
SAKE, GET DOWN HERE!
OKAY, LET'S GO.
Lorelai: SO, THE FIESTA BURGER?
Max: VERY INTERESTING.
VERY SPICY?
OH, YEAH.
HOW'S YOUR TONGUE?
MUCH BETTER, THANK YOU.
ARE YOU SCARED YET?
NOT YET.
[ GASPS ]
ARE YOU SCARED YET?
I'M STILL GOOD.
ARE YOU SCARED YET?
YOU'RE VERY ANNOYING
IN A MOVIE.
I KNOW. I THINK
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT YOU KNOW MY FAULTS
AS WELL AS MY MANY ATTRIBUTES.
VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU.
IT IS, ISN'T IT?
BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW,
YOU CAN GET VERY CARRIED AWAY
BY YOUR MANY ATTRIBUTES
AND SUDDENLY FIND YOURSELF
THINKING,
"MY GOD, THIS WOMAN
IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT."
WE WOULDN'T WANT THAT,
NOW, WOULD WE?
NO... WE WOULDN'T.
HMM.
YOU WANT TO EAT IT
BEFORE IT GETS COLD.
HOW IS IT?
NOT COLD.
MMM!
IT'S QUITE TASTY.
EMILY, WE SHOULD HAVE THIS
MORE OFTEN.
WHAT?
PERHAPS INSTEAD OF THAT
HORRIBLE SALMON
THAT KEEPS SHOWING UP.
THAT SALMON
IS A FINE DELICACY.
MM-HMM —
POTATO, PO-TAH-TO.
TRY IT AGAIN, GRANDMA.
IT'S PROBABLY COOLER NOW.
NO, THANK YOU. I'M FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S REALLY GOOD
IF YOU ADD
SOME EXTRA PARMESAN TO IT.
THIS IS MOM'S SPECIAL TRICK.
FROZEN PIZZA IS A STAPLE
AT OUR HOUSE.
MOM'S BECOME A DOCTORING GENIUS.
SHE'LL PUT ANYTHING ON IT.
ONE TIME SOOKIE CAME
AND BROUGHT US SOME FOIE GRAS,
AND MOM STUCK IT ON A PIZZA.
HOW WAS IT?
PRETTY GOOD ONCE WE TOOK
THE FOIE GRAS OFF.
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
TRY IT.
PLEASE?
IF YOU WANT TO GET REALLY CRAZY,
YOU CAN PICK IT UP.
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
HERE GOES NOTHING.
MMM! THAT'S WONDERFUL!
SEE?
RORY, PASS ME THAT CHEESE.
TRUST ME.
IT MAKES
ALL THE DIFFERENCE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
I FOUND THIS IN MOM'S ROOM.
WHAT'S THAT?
PICTURES.
OH, MY GOODNESS,
I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT IN YEARS.
OH, MY GOSH.
AH! LOOK AT THIS.
THAT'S ONE FLUFFY
WHITE DRESS.
THERE WERE 12 PETTICOATS
UNDERNEATH IT.
WE GOT IN IN LONDON.
REMEMBER, RICHARD?
SHE LOOKS LIKE
A LITTLE PRINCESS.
YES, WELL, IF MEMORY SERVES,
I BELIEVE, ABOUT TWO MINUTES
AFTER THAT PICTURE WAS TAKEN,
HER HIGHNESS DUMPED A GLASS
OF GRAPE JUICE ALL OVER IT.
LOOK, EMILY, IT'S HOPEY.
HOPEY?
MY YOUNGER SISTER.
HAS SHE EVER BEEN HERE
WHEN I WAS HERE?
I DON'T REMEMBER HER.
SHE LIVES IN PARIS —
OUR GREAT EXPATRIATE.
OH, MY, HOPEY, LOOK AT YOU.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER
IN SUCH A LONG TIME.
MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A TRIP
THIS YEAR.
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
MAYBE RORY
COULD GO WITH US.
I'LL START PACKING TOMORROW.
OH, IS THAT YOU GUYS?
YES, IT IS.
THAT IS OUR WEDDING PICTURE.
THAT'S AN AMAZING DRESS.
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.
MY MOTHER HAD THREE SEAMSTRESSES
WORKING ROUND THE CLOCK
MAKING IT.
YOU STILL HAVE IT?
IT'S UPSTAIRS
PACKED AWAY SOMEWHERE.
I'LL SAVE IT FOR YOU
IF YOU LIKE.
OH, EMILY.
RORY'S TOO YOUNG TO BE THINKING
ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT.
OH, RICHARD, PLEASE.
EVERY YOUNG GIRL THINKS
ABOUT HER WEDDING.
I KNOW I DID.
I KNEW
FROM THE TIME I WAS 12
THAT I WANTED LILIES
AND ORCHIDS
WITH A SILVER BOW WRAPPED
AROUND THEM FOR MY BOUQUET.
YOU ALSO KNEW THAT YOU WANTED
TO MARRY ERROL FLYNN.
REALLY? GRANDMA HAD A THING
FOR THE PIRATE GUY?
I DID NOT HAVE A THING
FOR THE PIRATE GUY.
SHE WAS MAD ABOUT HIM.
SHE EVEN TRIED
TO GET ME TO GROW
ONE OF THOSE
LITTLE MUSTACHES.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
RICHARD, STOP.
SHE WANTED ME TO SWING
FROM A CHANDELIER.
YOU'RE BEING SILLY.
LUCKILY, I WAS ON
THE FENCING TEAM AT COLLEGE,
OR I WOULD HAVE MARRIED
LUCINDA LESTER BY NOW.
ACTUALLY, LUCINDA LESTER
LOOKED A LOT LIKE ERROL FLYNN.
[ LAUGHS ]
I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED HER.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
VERY MODERN OF ME.
WOW, MOM LOOKS
REALLY BEAUTIFUL HERE.
YES, SHE DOES.
WHAT WAS THE OCCASION?
WHO WOULD LIKE SOME COFFEE?
THAT WAS HER DEBUTANTE GOWN
FOR HER COMING-OUT PARTY.
MOM HAD A COMING-OUT PARTY?
NO, SHE DIDN'T.
OH.
YES, WELL,
THINGS HAPPEN, DON'T THEY?
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE SOME BUSINESS CALLS
TO MAKE.
I'LL GO GET THAT COFFEE.
HERE.
WHAT IS THIS?
I BROUGHT YOU COFFEE.
NO, THANK YOU.
HARRY, YOU'RE FREEZING.
TAKE THE DAMN COFFEE.
WHEN OUR FOREFATHERS
STOOD OUT HERE MANY MOONS AGO,
THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY COFFEE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
DO YOU HAVE
WRITTEN DOCUMENTATION
ABOUT WHAT SORT OF BEVERAGES
THEY DID OR DID NOT HAVE
ON THAT LONG,
HISTORIC NIGHT OF STANDING?
THIS IS STILL A JOKE TO YOU,
YOUNG MAN.
I DON'T CHOOSE
TO BE A JOKE.
WE DON'T NEED YOUR COFFEE.
HARRY, PLEASE,
TAKE THE COFFEE.
MY FATHER WOULD HAVE TAKEN
THE COFFEE.
WELL, ALL RIGHT, THEN.
THANK YOU.
ANDREW?
THANK YOU, LUKE.
KIRK?
YOU GOT ANY HERBAL TEA?
NOT ON ME,
BUT I CAN GET SOME.
WITH A SQUEEZE
OF LEMON.
OKAY.
I COULD REALLY GO
FOR SOME COCOA.
OOH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
COCOA FOR ME, TOO.
OKAY, OKAY,
HANG ON A MINUTE —
ONE HERBAL TEA
AND TWO COCOAS...
Max: THAT PART
WAS A LITTLE SLOW,
BUT IT PICKED UP
PRETTY SOON AFTER.
[ LAUGHS ]
♪ THERE'S A SOMEBODY
I'M LONGING TO SEE ♪
♪ I HOPE THAT HE ♪
♪ TURNS OUT TO BE ♪
[ SIGHS ] SO THIS IS IT —
MY HOUSE.
IT'S NICE.
THANK YOU.
GOOD PORCH.
NICE WINDOWS.
FRONT DOOR...
WHICH OPENS, I ASSUME.
YEAH.
SOMETHING WRONG?
NO, NOTHING'S WRONG.
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH, I, UM...
I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT THE SNOW
AND ABOUT SEEING YOU.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
BUT I DIDN'T REALLY
THINK THIS THING OUT,
AND I USUALLY THINK
THIS KIND OF THING OUT,
SO I'M JUST THINKING
THIS THING OUT.
WHAT THING?
INVITING A MAN
OVER TO MY HOUSE.
OKAY.
SEE, I HAVE REALLY STRICT RULES
ABOUT DATING.
I KEEP MY PERSONAL LIFE
TOTALLY SEPARATE
FROM MY LIFE WITH RORY,
YOU KNOW?
I NEVER WANT HER
TO FEEL UNSETTLED
OR LIKE HER LIFE COULD
JUST SHIFT AT ANY MOMENT.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
AND SHE COMES FIRST,
AND THIS HER HOUSE, TOO.
I UNDERSTAND.
THIS IS SOMETHING
YOU DON'T DO OFTEN.
EVER.
EVER?
NEVER.
I SEE.
I MEAN...
I'VE DATED...
AND, UH, YOU KNOW, DATED.
[ LAUGHS ]
BUT I'VE JUST NEVER DATED
HERE IN OUR HOUSE.
WHAT IF I PROMISED YOU
THAT IF YOU LET ME IN,
ALL I'M EXPECTING
IS A CUP OF COFFEE, THAT'S IT?
NOTHING WEIRD OR FUNNY...
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU'RE INTO WEIRD AND FUNNY,
MAX —
'CAUSE I COULD DO WEIRD
AND FUNNY.
LORELAI, I'VE BEEN ENJOYING
THE HELL OUT OF MYSELF TONIGHT,
AND I THINK YOU ARE, TOO.
I AM.
WELL, SO,
IT'S SNOWING, COLD,
AND YOUR DAUGHTER
IS ELSEWHERE.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
THE WHOLE NIGHT'S BEEN
A WEIRD KISMET OF EVENTS.
OH, IT'S THAT
FATE GUY AGAIN.
AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DECIDE
THAT SOME GUY IS WORTH
OPENING THAT FRONT DOOR FOR.
I AM JUST VOLUNTEERING.
HMM.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE?
HOW STRONG DO YOU LIKE
YOUR COFFEE?
BECAUSE I'VE BUILT UP
SUCH A TOLERANCE TO IT,
I USUALLY MAKE IT TOO INTENSE
FOR MOST PEOPLE.
I LIVED THROUGH
THE FIESTA BURGER.
DON'T HOLD BACK NOW.
OKAY.
CAN I HELP?
UM, YEAH,
YOU CAN FILL UP THE POT.
OH, I'M VERY GOOD AT THAT.
SIX CUPS SOUNDS GOOD?
FINE.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA HAVE?
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU DO KNOW THAT WAS
A LEADING QUESTION, RIGHT?
REALLY? HOW SO?
MMM.
HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT
THAT COFFEE?
NOT THAT BADLY.
SUCH A GOOD ANSWER.
MMM.
HOW MANY KIDS
DID YOU SAY YOU HAVE?
ONE. WHY?
[ GASPS ] LANE!
HI! HI!
UH, W-WE'RE JUST —
W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M SORRY.
I WAS WAITING FOR RORY.
I'LL JUST GO BACK
INTO HER ROOM,
AND I WON'T COME BACK OUT.
I PROMISE.
[ MUSIC PLAYS ]
OH...
THAT'S "THE CURE."
I HAVE TO GO BACK IN THERE.
IT'S OKAY.
I'LL FINISH UP THE COFFEE.
I'LL BE BACK AS FAST
AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE.
GOOD.
HEY.
I'M SORRY I MESSED UP
YOUR DATE.
YOU DIDN'T MESS UP MY DATE.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I WAS WAITING
FOR RORY TO GET HOME.
SWEETIE, RORY'S STUCK
IN HARTFORD TONIGHT.
OH, I DIDN'T KNOW.
I'LL JUST GO.
HEY, DO YOU WANT TO TALK?
I'M NOT RORY, BUT WE DO USE
THE SAME BLOW-DRYER.
I DID SOMETHING
REALLY STUPID TODAY.
OKAY, WHAT'D YOU PIERCE?
NOTHING.
I TOUCHED A BOY'S HAIR.
OKAY.
A BOY I REALLY LIKE.
SO FAR, I'M MISSING
THE STUPID PART.
I KIND OF DID IT
WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.
NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
I WAS JUST STANDING THERE,
AND THEN HE BENDS OVER,
AND HIS HAIR FALLS FORWARD,
AND SUDDENLY,
IT'S LIKE MY HAND
HAS A LIFE OF ITS OWN.
SOUNDS LIKE YOUR HAND
HAD A LITTLE HELP
FROM YOUR HORMONES.
GOD, I'M SO HUMILIATED.
I CAN'T EVER GO BACK TO SCHOOL.
I'LL HAVE TO BE
HOME SCHOOLED.
MY MOTHER
FINALLY GETS HER WAY.
LOOK AT IT
FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.
YOU HAVE SO MANY YEARS
OF SCREW-UPS AHEAD OF YOU,
VIEW THIS AS A TRIAL RUN
FOR REALLY GROWN-UP HUMILIATION.
SO NOT HELPING!
MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE
A HAIRDRESSER!
LORELAI!
YES! IT'S PERFECT.
THEN YOU CAN RUN YOUR HANDS
THROUGH ANYBODY'S HAIR YOU WANT,
AND THEY'LL PAY YOU FOR IT.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
EVERYONE AT SCHOOL'S
GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT ME.
I CAN'T SHOW MY FACE.
EVERYBODY DOES STUPID THINGS
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
IT'S LIKE A REQUIREMENT.
NOT LIKE THIS.
NO, SOME PEOPLE GET PREGNANT.
TALK ABOUT SOMETHING REALLY
JUICY FOR THE GOSSIP MILL.
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
YEAH. EVERYBODY
SCREWS UP, LANE.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
IT'S WHAT YOU DO
WITH THE SCREW-UPS,
IT'S HOW YOU HANDLE
THE EXPERIENCE —
THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD
JUDGE YOURSELF BY.
I HAVE A GREAT LIFE
AND AN AMAZING KID,
AND I TOOK A DETOUR.
I ENDED UP SOMEPLACE GOOD.
YEAH.
TELL ME THIS —
HOW DID HIS HAIR FEEL —
GOOD AS IT LOOKED?
BETTER.
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
I'M POSITIVE ABOUT THAT.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
SO WHO'S THE GUY?
RORY'S TEACHER.
OH.
HE HAS NICE HAIR.
YEAH.
[ FOOTSTEPS ]
[ SIGHS ]
HEY.
EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE?
IT WILL BE.
SO WHERE DID WE LEAVE OFF?
OH...
LANE IS GONNA STAY HERE
TONIGHT.
SHE HAD
A REALLY BAD TEEN DAY,
AND SHE NEEDS TO CRASH
SOMEPLACE SYMPATHETIC.
OKAY, I UNDERSTAND.
I SWEAR TO GOD, IF THIS WASN'T
A MAJOR JUDY BLUME MOMENT,
I WOULD KICK HER CUTE
LITTLE BUTT RIGHT OUT OF HERE.
CAN YOU RECOMMEND A HOTEL
THAT'S REALLY,
REALLY CLOSE TO HERE?
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST STAY HERE TONIGHT?
EVERYBODY ELSE IS.
I DON'T KNOW.
REALLY,
THE COUCH IS COMFORTABLE,
AND THERE'S PILLOWS
AND BLANKETS,
AND THE BATHROOM'S
THROUGH THERE,
AND THE KITCHEN
HAS NOTHING IN IT
BUT RUNNING WATER
IF YOU GET THIRSTY,
AND IT'S AN AWFUL NIGHT.
OKAY,
IF IT'S NOT A PROBLEM.
NOT AT ALL.
COULD I AT LEAST GIVE YOU
A KISS GOOD NIGHT?
ONLY IF YOU INTEND
TO LIVE TILL MORNING.
GOOD NIGHT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
HI!
HI. WHAT'S UP?
NOTHING. WHAT'S UP
WITH YOU?
YOU HAVE
SOMETHING TO TELL ME.
YOU'RE SO SMART.
RIGHT, OKAY, HERE WE GO —
I'VE GOT A BOY IN THE HOUSE.
YOU WHAT?
NOTHING HAPPENED.
HE SLEPT ON THE COUCH,
AND YOU KNOW HIM.
I DO?
AND YOU LIKE HIM.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S RELEVANT.
I JUST THOUGHT
THAT I WOULD THROW THAT
IN THERE.
It's Mr. Medina.
I know.
My English teacher
is on my couch!
It was the snow.
You know how I get.
It's like catnip!
I was walking.
He was there.
His car was broken.
We had fiesta burgers.
It was the snow!
Rory... say something.
[ SIGHS ]
RORY, TALK TO ME.
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I DON'T KNOW.
TAKE A GUESS —
ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, NAUSEOUS?
WEIRD — I FEEL WEIRD.
HAS HE BEEN HERE
ALL NIGHT?
PRETTY MUCH.
OH, MY GOD!
DID HE GO INTO THE BATHROOM?
I HAVE STUFF HANGING
IN THERE!
YOU KNEW I WAS GONNA DATE HIM.
THIS ISN'T A TOTAL SURPRISE.
YES, I KNEW
YOU WERE GONNA DATE.
I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT FOR HIM
TO BE HERE AT OUR HOUSE
IN THE MORNING.
I KNOW.
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER
EVER THERE BEING A MAN
IN OUR HOUSE.
YEAH, WELL,
I KIND OF BROKE THE RULES.
GOD, WHY IS THIS SO WEIRD
FOR ME?
BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE
TOLD YOU FIRST.
NO.
BECAUSE I SHOULD HAVE TALKED
TO YOU BEFORE I DID THIS.
NO.
BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID
HE SMOOSHED THE COUCH PILLOWS
OUT OF SHAPE?
DO YOU LOVE HIM?
I, UM —
WE HAD ONE DATE.
IT WAS A GREAT DATE —
WORLD-SERIES LEVEL —
BUT IT WAS JUST A DATE.
HONEY, I PROMISED MYSELF
A LONG TIME AGO
THAT I WAS GONNA KEEP ALL
THIS STUFF SEPARATE FROM YOU,
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT THAT STILL STANDS.
THIS WAS A ONE-TIME THING.
I'M NOT GONNA START
JUST BRINGING GUYS HOME.
THIS IS NOT A TREND.
YOU CAN, YOU KNOW.
WHAT?
BRING GUYS HOME.
IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE,
YOU SHOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE
DOING THAT.
I APPRECIATE THAT.
I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.
AND I LOVE YOU FOR THAT.
PLUS, I KNOW
YOU'RE NOT A CAT PERSON,
SO YOU TRULY WILL BE ALONE
IF YOU DON'T FIND SOMEONE.
OKAY, LOOK, SOMEDAY,
I WILL BRING SOMEBODY HOME,
BUT WHEN I DO,
I JUST WANT TO BE SURE
IT'S THE GUY.
MR. MEDINA'S NOT THE GUY?
I DON'T KNOW.
HE MIGHT BE,
BUT RIGHT NOW,
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME...
AND SOMETIMES LANE.
HEY.
UM, I'M GONNA GO
WAKE THE MAN UP.
YOUR MOM LET ME
SPEND THE NIGHT HERE.
I TRIED CALLING YOU BACK
ALL NIGHT,
BUT THE PHONES DIDN'T TURN ON
UNTIL THIS MORNING.
THAT'S OKAY.
I UNDERSTAND.
LANE, I'M SO SORRY.
I'VE BEEN
THE WORST FRIEND LATELY.
NO, I JUST WIGGED OUT A LITTLE.
I GET JEALOUS SOMETIMES.
I MEAN, YOU SEEM TO HAVE
THIS REALLY GREAT LIFE GOING,
AND I DON'T REALLY
FIT IN THERE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
YOU TOTALLY FIT IN.
YEAH?
I'M TALKING LEGOS.
I HOPE SO.
I WILL BE BETTER FROM NOW ON,
I PROMISE —
24 HOURS A DAY
AT YOUR DISPOSAL.
DEAN WILL LOVE THAT.
WELL, HE'LL HAVE TO.
YOU CAME FIRST.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I GOT DIBS.
OKAY.
I HAVE TO GO HOME.
COFFEE AT LUKE'S, 2:00?
YOU'RE ON.
I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT
THAT HAIR-TOUCHING INCIDENT.
YEAH,
AND I WANT TO HEAR THE REST
OF THE TEACHER-ON-THE-COUCH
INCIDENT.
[ CHUCKLES ] DEAL.
[ MAX AND LORELAI
CHAT, CHUCKLE ]