1, 2, 3, hyah!
Baby!
Sassy!
Studly.
Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me! Come on!
Hey there, baby. Oh! Uh!
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
hey, baby.
What are you doing this Saturday night?
It is Saturday, you pinhead!
Hmm. Maybe I better plan these things a little more in advance.
Did you enjoy yourself, my undead queen?
No, Woody, I did not.
It's Saturday night, and you took me to a library.
I'm tired of this undead life.
How could you possibly be tired of this?
We're eternal. People are scared of us.
How cool is that?
I mean, look.
Boo!
Boo yourself, you miserable half-bat, half-human hooligan!
I need excitement, passion.
I'm leaving, Woody.
But what about the batting and the flying and the swooping?
You're a vampire, Lois.
Then perhaps I need to find a new boy
and make him a vampire.
Someone like...
[Whistling]
That guy.
But, Lois, I'm a—
forget it, Woody. It's been a fun 2,000 years,
but it's over.
Good evening.
Hey, how'd you do that— appear out of nowhere?
I'm Lois, a mistress of the night.
And I'm Johnny bravo, a mister of the universe. Hyah!
A popular girl like you is going to need some wooing.
Wooing?
I haven't been wooed in millennia.
Hope you don't mind, baby. I ordered for you.
[Gulp]
Mmm! Feel those carbs! Yeah!
What delightfully strong neck muscles.
May I, uh...
Kiss them?
Oh, yeah!
Oh!
[Gasping]
Oh, garlic!
[Gasping]
Nobody gets to play kissy-face
with my eternal damsel of the dark.
What the...
This must be some of that antipasta.
Don't you—
this pasta's a little tough, but...
I'm tougher.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Ooh!
Pooping out so early, big guy?
Just taking a breather, pumpkin.
[Carnival music playing]
Hey, check it out. Huh!
I'm tall and thin.
Hey, little mama, where's your reflection?
Wow! Look at that mirror.
Hey, check it out.
I'm tattoo.
Hey, check it out. I'm a big, dumb, fat waiter.
Come on, mister. Swing the hammer, win a prize.
Mister, you don't have enough prizes in your carnival.
Grrr!
Hyah!
[Ding]
Ha ha! We have a big dumb baby, everybody!
Ooh, look at me!
My large barrel chest can't even push a teensy little weight!
Ha ha ha!
Step back, Chester.
This could get ugly.
[Ding]
Look at me! I have big, flabby muscles
that have the strength of a little boy!
Ha ha ha ha!
Mister, you are getting on my very last nerve.
Hyah!
[Ding]
Ooh, look at me!
I have gigantic shoulders as wide as a Cadillac,
but I can't even lift a pound and a half!
Ha ha ha ha!
I wanted a prize.
Hey, you got yourself a blue-ribbon trophy walking around with you.
Oh, Joy.
Can I try?
Pah! You?
Whee! Look at me, everybody!
I'm a tiny little guy with a big hammer,
and I'm going to—whoa!
Try to make the bell ring!
[Splash]
Boys: Ooh...
[Whistling]
Here's your big, stupid-looking foo-foo drinks.
Yeah, thanks, buddy. Keep the change.
Excellent. A quarter.
I can now retire.
[Slurp]
Hey, sweet cakes, I'm over here.
Ahh!
Oh.
Hey! Yo! Hey!
Heapin' hunka-hunka burnin' love, 12:00, baby.
Johnny, I want to be honest with you.
I'm a vampire.
You're a vampire.
The only reason I'm going out with you
is to make my vampire boyfriend jealous.
Your boyfriend's a vampire?
But I guess it didn't work.
Announcer: And now, the spicy marimba is proud to present...
Woody!
Singing off-key: ♪ beautiful dreamer ♪
♪ come back to me ♪
ohh...
♪ Starlight and something are waiting for thee ♪
yaaahh!
Woof woof woof!
Yowsah! Ow!
Lois, I've been an absolute putz.
Can I have you back?
Oh, Woody. You are a real man.
You're vampires? I guess this means the date's over, huh?
Guess so,
but, hey, the best vampire won, right?
Ugh!
Yeah, sure, but...
Aren't you worried these people are going to be freaked
by you being a vampire and all?
Of course not.
Ha ha ha ha!
We're all vampires!
Uh, some of us are werewolves.
I'm a gnome.
And now, it's time to conga. Hit it.
[Playing conga music]
♪ Buffalo gals, won't you come out tonight, huh! ♪
♪ come out tonight, huh! Come out tonight? ♪
♪ buffalo gals, won't you come out tonight— ♪
they're all vampires,
and that one's a werewolf, and that one's a gnome.
♪ Buffalo gals, won't you come out tonight, huh! ♪
♪ come out tonight, huh! Come out tonight? ♪
♪ and dance by the light of the moon ♪
nothing better than a man watching his favorite videotape
in the privacy of his own home.
Hyah! Showtime!
Show me the movie!
Hi there, Johnny.
Want to see some action?
Huh, do I! This guy's my favorite actor.
I got to work on my set design.
I won! I won! I won! I won!
Hi, mama. How was the concert?
It was so exciting!
I just love listening to Berry vanderbolten sing.
His voice is like butter, a big stick of butter.
And guess what.
After the show, they held a contest,
and guess who won.
No. Me! Uh, like—
♪ me me me me me me ♪
aw, that's great, mama, but what did you win?
Berry vanderbolten!
He's going to be my Butler!
That was the contest.
Berry vanderbolten is my Butler for the day!
Lola, what's the name of that contest winner again?
Her name's bunny bravo, Mr. vanderbolten.
Bunny bravo.
Hmm. There's a song in there somewhere.
[Beep]
♪ Oh, bunny, you're so funny ♪
♪ you're like a hanky when my nose is runny ♪
did you get that, Lola?
It's on its way to the record company now, sir.
♪
man, imitating Casey kasem: And here's the new number-one smash
from Berry vanderbolten— bunny.
♪ Oh, bunny, you're so funny ♪
♪ you're like a hanky when my nose is runny ♪
another success, Mr. vanderbolten!
No one can write them like you.
Thanks, Lola. This shouldn't take too long.
Oh. How do my teeth look?
[Ding]
Berryrific!
Hi there. I'm Berry vanderbolten.
I... I... I... I...
You must be... Bunny.
Oh!
Rest, sweet one, and dream of the stars.
Eh, happens every time. Ha ha!
Who are you, fella?
Me? Why, I write the music
that sweeps your soul across a rainbow-canopied cloud
of melodic jubilee.
Oh. You're that guy who's supposed to be mama's Butler, right?
Well, technically, yes,
but as you can see, your mama's, well, indisposed at the moment.
I'll just run along now and send her an autograph later.
Oh!
You see this? These are contest rules.
It says here that you're supposed to be our Butler until 6:00 pm.
Yes, but this is all a publicity stunt,
you know, to please the fans.
I'll do anything to please my fans.
All right, then go and clean out the fan in the bathroom, boy.
It's been clogged for weeks.
Your goodies, Mr. bravo.
Thanks, Terry.
Berry.
Jerry, you're a musical guy.
Maybe you could answer a question for me.
I'll try.
Who put the razz in the razzmatazz?
[Grumbling]
Hey, get me some more chicken wings!
How them dishes coming, Larry?
[Icily] Just about finished.
Come on, say it.
Sir.
I knew you could do it. Ha ha!
Aah!
All right, that is coming out of your pay.
But I'm not getting paid.
Not now you're not.
[Vacuum running]
[No audio]
Oh! Ow! Oh!
I was trying to tell you to watch out for the stairs.
Gee, thanks.
Whatever. Now get your musical butt up here
and clean out the fish tank.
[Cuckoo clock chiming]
Harry, for a singer, you ain't too shabby as a Butler.
Thank you.
Come on. Say it.
My lord and sovereign.
Ha ha! I knew you could do it.
[Beep]
Well, Johnny, it's 6:00.
My work here is done.
Aw, really? Dang.
Well, all right. A deal's a deal.
Thanks for dropping by.
If you don't mind,
there is just one more teensy-weensy little task
I'd like to perform before I go.
Aw, yeah! Are you going to massage my feet again?
Ah... Something like that.
Be right back.
Mr. bravo, you are some kind of guy. Look out!
♪ Hey, Johnny! Are you thirsty? ♪
♪ come to think of it, yeah, I am ♪
oh, that's good, because you're about to have yourself
a nice tall glass of extreme pain.
Hey, nice outfit.
I didn't know you studied kick—aah!
Ooh! Oh!
Whoa!
Gosh, Johnny, you broke all the dishes.
You better go get some more.
Now, just a mo—ohhh!
Oh, gee, you broke those, too.
Yeeahh!
[Punching and yelling]
Adios, Johnny.
You might want to have a doctor look at that dislocated shoulder.
Dislocated shoulder. Hmm...
There's a song in there somewhere. Lola!
Yes, Mr. vanderbolten.
Fire up the recorder, and get me another Shirley temple—
make it a double this time.
Right away, sir.
Good-bye, bunny. I'll always remember you.
Thanks for being such a fan.
Mmm...
Ta-ta, Johnny!
Bye, garry.
Uhh...
Must have fallen asleep.
Is Berry vanderbolten here yet?
Uhh!
Johnny! I told you to clean up this mess, boy!
Berry vanderbolten will be here any minute.
Oh, mama, I hope not.
Mr. vulture, how many licks does it take
to get to the sugary center of a sugar sucker?
A good question. Go ask Johnny bravo.
Mr. bravo, how many licks does—
hey, free lollipops!
Thanks, kid.
Narrator: Washington, D.C.-- our nation's capital,
home of the president of the United States
and a great place to pick up chicks.
Woman: This pen was used by president Wilson to sign the 19th amendment.
Johnny: What's that?
The amendment allowing women to vote.
Until then, not a woman here could vote, no matter what age,
but the 19th amendment struck down that restrictive rule.
Why'd they go and do that?
I didn't think chicks liked to vote.
All, yelling: Get him!
Uh-oh.
I'd like to introduce you to the boybot 2000.
[Echoing] Hello, Bonnie.
I'm tired of dating robots.
I want to go out with a real boy.
Now, sugar, you're the president's daughter.
It's too dangerous for you to go on a date date.
Besides, the boybot 2000 is the perfect gentleman.
Watch.
You look great tonight.
I better get you back by 8:00.
Actually, I'd like a handshake good night.
Get out of my room! Get out! Get out! Get out!
[Crying]
Hello, ladies. May I take your coats?
All: Aah!
I better get out of here before—
[Bonnie crying]
What the...
Hey, pretty mama. Hyah!
If these pecs don't cheer you up, nothing will.
Ooh!
Oh, no!
Not another robot boy!
Ow!
Oh, my gosh! A real boy?
Are you here to take me on a date date?
No, I am not—
yeah. What you said. Date date.
I'm Bonnie. I'm Johnny.
Johnny. Bonnie.
Mmm—ow!
Are you sure you're not a robot?
All right, I'm sure.
Let's go.
Agent pim, I need you to keep an extra-sharp eye on Bonnie.
I think she's trying to go out on a date date.
Not to worry, sir.
Mall rat one is under guard 24 hours a day.
Agent pim, mall rat one has left the compound
with a boy!
All: Uhh!
President, muffled: I don't want there to be a media circus.
Just follow her, make sure she's ok, and get her back by 8:00.
Oh!
What can I get you two?
Couple of steaks, medium dead. Hyah!
And I want them perfect, like the guy who ordered them.
Uh, what are you doing?
I'm serving the steaks.
Without checking them for poison
or knives or foreign objects?
Um... Here's your food.
They weren't happy with their meat.
I can't work under these conditions.
Hey.
I wonder who that sad little scrap of paper is?
Oh, that's just a bill.
Yes, I'm just a bill on capitol hill,
but I hope to be a law someday.
Man: All in favor of the bill pushed by the fire extinguisher lobby
to make children's toys flammable...
[Silence]
All against?
Men: Nay!
Oh!
Tough luck, kid.
Oh!
Um, let's go see some of the sights.
Doesn't that make you proud to be an American?
Why? It's not very colorful.
Oh.
Wow. Abraham Lincoln.
Just think how different this country would be without him.
No kidding. When I was a kid,
I played with that Lincoln guy's logs all the time.
Oh!
Please tell me you know something
about the tomb of the unknown soldier.
If they don't know who he is,
why don't they just open up the tomb and take a look?
Aah!
Pim! Shlomo!
Shlomo?
I don't want to go out with real boys anymore.
I want to go out with robots.
Hey, you're the guy from the restaurant.
Hyah!
I'll have you know I'm trained in 15 forms of karate,
3 forms of jujitsu, and 1 form of interpretive dance.
Yeah? Well, secret service agents are trained in 16 forms of karate,
4 forms of jujitsu, and 2 forms of reggae impressionism.
Yeah, well— secret service?
Hyah!
[Punching and slapping]
Ow! Ow! Ow!
President: You're very lucky
you found such a stupid boy, Bonnie.
You could have been kidnapped or worse.
I know, daddy, and I'm sorry.
I learned my lesson.
It's robots for me until I'm old enough for social security.
Boybot: That's ok, honey.
I'll make enough money for the both of us,
and I love you and your whole family.
President: By the way, what did you do with that bravo pinhead?
Everything's under control.
Boybot: Wow! It sure is dark in here.
Good thing we have such a great pal to hang out with.
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group
captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.
Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute
ha ha ha ha!