1, 2, 3, hyah!
Baby!
Sassy!
Studly.
Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me! Come on!
Hey there, baby. Oh! Uh!
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education
narrator: Submitted for your perusal—
a routine passenger flight.
Also for your consideration—
the portrait of a man, one Johnny bravo—
a man afraid of very little,
save the possible exception of clowns.
And if he were to look out the window...
[Loudly] And if he were to look out the window—
huh? Huh?
Oh.
He would discover that he and his mother...
Honk honk!
Have just booked one-way passage to the zone
where normal things don't happen very often.
Mama. Hey, mama, wake up.
There's a clown on the wing.
I don't see anything.
I know I saw a clown.
[Burp]
Aah! Oh!
Mama. Mama, there's a clown
on the wing of the plane.
This had better be good, Johnny.
I was just dreaming
about me and tom Jones in a jacuzzi.
[Groan]
Mama, just look out the window, will you, please?
I honestly don't know
what's gotten into you, boy.
Now, let mama rest.
[Mama snoring]
Clown: Honk honk!
Huh?
Hey, mister, there's a clown on the wing.
Oh, no, you don't. No, you don't.
I'm not falling for that one again.
No, sir.
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice...
Aah! Whoopee!
[Beeping]
To the left, Harvey. To the left.
Mr. captain, there's a clown—
not now, son. He almost had it.
To the right! To the right!
Help, miss.
There's a clown...
Say there, pretty air mama,
didn't you see me in your dreams last night?
No, I don't believe so.
Would you like to right now?
Just close your eyes
and follow the landing lights right on in.
Honk honk!
Johnny: Whoa!
Oh!
I think you're special and all, missy,
but this is a little bit weirder than I'm willing to go.
Give me that.
[Whimpering]
Now, please stay in your seat.
I guess I was just dreaming.
No. No. No. That little fella is not real.
Honk honk!
Go away, fragment of my imagination.
Hey, wait a minute! Don't do that.
Whoa!
[Groaning]
Oh, man, are you going to get it.
Johnny, I thought I told you—
no playing with the window!
But, mama—
what happened to your face, Johnny boy?
You look crazy.
All right, that does it.
Hyah! I'm going to make them stop this plane.
You've got to do something!
Not now, son.
Left foot on yellow, Jimmy.
That's Harvey, sir.
Jimmy, Harvey—who cares? Left foot on yellow.
Excuse me, but—
what are you— some kind of weirdo?
Get out of here.
Ooh! Aah!
Agh!
Oh, mama.
Ooh!
Whoa!
Honk honk!
I am going to kick your—
whoa!
[Snoring]
Now, stop playing with the lights.
I'm trying to dream.
Can't you see I'm trying to dream?
Yes, mama. I'm going to get that stinking clown.
Johnny: Hold it right there,
painty-face boy.
[Grunting]
That's it,
you big, dumb, clowny...
Whatever!
This time you've gone too far.
Hyah!
[Raspberries]
"Pull string."
Sounds good to me.
[Bang]
[Sultrily] Honk honk.
Oh, yeah. Now I got the bait.
Hyah! Time to kick some clowny butt.
[Sneezing]
Yo, clown boy!
I've got a little friend for you.
Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk!
[Punching and honking]
[Toilet flushing]
Now I can finally rest easy.
Pilot: All right, who got rid
of the clown on the wing?
It was I— Johnny bravo. Hyah!
You fool, he was a vital part
of our duo-clowny wing balance outta-lotta.
The other clown is doing his best,
but how in the world do you expect us
to land this plane with only one clown?
Wait. I can explain.
[All shouting]
[Sleepily] Oh, tom...
What?
Ha ha ha!
Narrator: The flight of Mr. bravo is concluded now—
a flight not only from point "a" to point "b,"
but to points "c,"d,"e,"
"f,"g,"h,"I," "j," and "k"--
for Mr. bravo has just flown directly through the zone
where normal things don't happen very often.
Honk honk.
Narrator: Mr. Johnny bravo,
existing for the moment on a speck
of chronological sediment in the grand river of time,
but of course every eddy, every current
meets a stone here and there that displaces the flow.
Part of it rushes to one side, part of it to the other.
Mr. bravo is about to travel
straight through the middle into the zone
where normal things don't happen very often.
Announcer: The all-new 1999 firestorm.
You got to get one.
Oh, mama! I got to get one.
Hyah!
Mama, I need some money to buy a car.
If you want a car so badly,
why don't you get a job?
Aah!
Oh, hush up, Johnny.
Now here's the help wanted page.
"I want,"I want," "I need,"I need"--
wait a second. What's this?
"Baby-sitter wanted for 6-year-old boy.
"Child all-powerful. Please think happy thoughts.
Call 555-0198."
Wow! I get paid for sitting around watching TV
while some brat takes a nap.
No problemo.
[Ring]
[Squeaking]
Oh, hi. You must be Johnny.
We're glad to see you, Johnny—real glad.
Uh, yeah. I'm here to baby-sit for little Timmy.
Oh, he's such a good boy.
He's the best little boy ever.
Yeah, well, can I come in?
It's nice that you want to come in.
Timmy's in the den.
It's good that he's in there.
I like that he's in the den.
Ok, I get the point.
[Squeaking]
This is Timmy.
Hi.
Hey, look at that. He spilled grape juice on your carpet.
You want me to send him to bed without supper?
Oh, no. Timmy did a good thing to the carpet.
We like that he spilled.
The new color is much better
than the old color— much better indeed.
Much better.
Ok, you guys are starting to freak me out.
Look, why don't you just take off and let me deal with Billy?
Timmy.
Whatever.
Now, Johnny, please remember to think only happy thoughts.
Think of good things, Johnny.
Yeah, sure.
[Squeaking]
Hey, what's with the shoes?
Ha ha! Timmy likes it
when I wear the shoes you can hear.
Everyone likes Timmy.
That's right. That's right.
Everyone does.
Ok, that's about enough of that.
[Shoes squeaking]
Timmy likes chocolate.
Beat it!
All right, kid, now, I'm doing this for the money,
so I don't want any trouble from you, you hear?
You shouldn't yell at me.
Oh? And why not?
I like happy thoughts.
If you think bad thoughts,
I'll make you go in the corn field.
[Imitating timmy] "Make you go in the corn field."
Yeah, what a brat.
What the—
hey, what's going on here? Hyah!
How did you do that?
I can do anything.
Well, then knock it off. Can you do that?
You keep thinking bad things about me.
Aah! Aah! Ooh! Oh!
Hot mama! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Ha ha! Johnny on fire. Ha ha!
Aah! Aah! Wait a second.
Stop, drop, and roll.
[Hissing]
All right, kid, that's it.
You're going to bed.
Man, now, I am really getting ticked.
Hyah!
What kind of mutant squirt are you, anyway?
That's a bad thing to say.
Now, look here, will Robinson,
this is getting really old really fast,
so you either quit messing around now, or I—
wait a second. Something ain't right.
Oh, man.
Hyah!
Oh, kid, you are asking for it.
You better be a nice man.
You better think nice things about me.
Or what?
Whoa, mama.
You think big, bad things, so I made you little.
So much for the punishment fitting the crime.
Argh!
Ok, Timmy, I don't care
if I am two inches high.
Hyah!
Aggh!
Oh, mama.
Well, Johnny, thanks for baby-sitting.
Isn't Timmy the best ever?
Wow. I was just thinking the same thing...
About Timmy—
that he's real good.
Real good.
All right, Mr. and Mrs. psycho,
I'm going to want some extra cash for this,
and if you'll take my advice, put that kid to bed
and keep him there for the rest of his life.
Oh, Timmy goes to bed whenever he wants to,
and not before.
Definitely not before.
He's such a good boy.
Timmy likes the circus.
I'm out of here.
Oh, Johnny, Johnny boy, I'm so proud of you.
Enough odd jobs, and you'll have the money for a car in no time.
Ah, forget it, mama.
The 1999 firestorm
ain't looking so fiery anymore.
A good night's sleep,
and I can put this work nonsense behind me.
And tomorrow I'll get back to what's really important.
[Yawning]
Ah, man!
Narrator: Mr. Johnny bravo—
the victim of a simplistic, childish mind
which by some twist of fate
was crowned grand ladle
to the percolating stew kettle called humanity.
Mr. bravo—on the outskirts of the zone
where normal things don't happen very often.
Hi. I'm Johnny bravo, and—hey!
What the—
now, hold on a—ugh!
Arggh! Whoa!
[Braying]
Mama!
[Grunting]
[Crash]
Sorry about that, folks.
Hey, look, I'm counting.
Narrator: Submitted for your perusal—
a man named Johnny bravo
enjoying a seemingly normal day by the pool,
little knowing he is about to dive headfirst
into the deep end of the zone
where normal things don't happen very often.
Man, I love when my heinie gets all sunshiny.
Don't you, sweetheart?
[Johnny growls]
I like my women thin.
Suzy: Hi, Johnny.
Neat doll.
What are you doing here, kid?
I came to show you my new doll.
Isn't she cool?
Her name is talky Tabitha.
Know what she does?
Gets her little butt out of my yard and—
nope. She talks.
Just pull the string, Johnny.
My name is talky Tabitha,
and I love everybody.
Wow. That's great, kid. Now—
except you, Johnny bravo.
I think you're a real jerk.
Hey, your doll just called me a jerk.
Ha ha. Very funny, Johnny.
Hey, want to have a tea party with us?
No, thanks, kid.
I've got better things to think about, like me.
Woman: Suzy! Lunchtime!
Ok, mom! See you later, Johnny.
Hey, kid, you forgot your doll!
Oh, well.
Time to take a big dip into lake Johnny. Hyah!
I don't think you listen very well.
Beg your pardon?
Oh! Whoa!
Hey, you can't do that. You're just a doll.
I'm a doll, all right— a very special doll.
I can do anything I want, Johnny dorko.
Urgh!
See?
I think I heard Suzy invite you
to a tea party,
and I think you're going to go...
Or else little Suzy will be serving tea
with a side order of shish ke-bravo.
What should I bring?
Johnny.
Hi, kid. I'm here for the tea party.
You are?
But I can't stay long—er! Ooh!
Than 10—ow! Ers— hours—10 hours.
And you brought Tabitha.
Oh, I missed you.
And I missed you, too.
[Quietly] But you, Johnny, I won't miss.
I'm a really good shot.
Man, I hate dolls.
Today we're featuring a very mild blend
of darjeeling and chamomile
with a modest hint of saffron.
It's quite satisfying— tarty yet not too chichi.
Got any root beer?
Let me go check.
Tabitha, you stay here with Johnny.
Now's my chance.
Huh?
[Animal snarling]
Oh! Ow! Ooh! Bad kitty. Ooh!
I see you've met diablo.
Now, listen, raggedy evil.
I've had just about enough—
whoa! Ooh!
Thanks for entertaining Tabitha
while I was gone, Johnny.
Hey, kid, your doll's alive.
Sure, Johnny, and I'm Tina Turner.
[Snoring]
[Sleepily] Oh, yeah, an all-girl jury.
Looks like Johnny had
a little too much tea, Tabitha.
You stay here and watch him
while I go get the soybean fritters.
Fire!
Huh? Help! Help! Fire! Get me some water!
Ugh! Oh!
It's not nice to sleep at Suzy's party.
What about bleeding?
Oh, that's ok. I encourage it.
Thanks for volunteering
to model for me, Johnny.
Ah, don't mention it.
Ok, hold still while I go and get the fishnet stockings.
Hey! Look over there! It's Pinocchio!
Pinocchio?
Hyah!
Hyah! All right, Dolly wolly doodle,
time you and me had a serious talk.
Ooh, I hate it
when people use Pinocchio
to distract me.
Thanks, lady.
Ha ha! So ends the Dolly follies.
Hyah!
Whoa, mama!
Ok, Johnny, I give.
You give? Like, give up?
Nope. I give...
You a hand grenade.
Ha ha ha!
Well, that's one way to exercise the glutes.
Have a nice time on the moon, devil Dolly.
I guess you learned your lesson, huh?
I sure did, Johnny.
Hey, can you grant me one last request?
Ok, but I got to warn you—
I don't give away locks of my hair.
Ha ha! No, Johnny, nothing like that.
Could you open this jug of turbo glue for me?
Sure.
Now, could you dump it around your feet?
All right, but that's it.
I'm not taking orders from a doll.
Thank you.
No problem.
P.A.: 3, 2, 1,
blastoff!
Blastoff? No!
[Johnny groaning]
Bye, Johnny! It's been fun!
I sure showed her.
Agh!
Oh, man, it's good to be home.
[Stammering]
Ooh! Hi, Johnny.
Look at my new doll collection.
They had a big sale on the shopping network,
and I just had to have them.
This one came from the moon!
All: We'd like a word with you, Johnny bravo.
Narrator: A sweet little doll—
harmless toy or instrument of destruction?
You be the judge,
or better yet, ask Johnny bravo,
a man whose case has just been tried
in the court of the zone
where normal things don't happen very often.
Hyah! Anybody want to buy a doll?
Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by
the national captioning institute, inc.
Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute
ha ha ha!