One, two, three...
Way there.
Sassy.
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Bills.
Jury duty.
Junk mail.
Oh, baby.
This letter could change your life.
Hi, Johnny.
Can't talk now, little girl.
I'm a busy dude.
Whoa!
Look what I made for you, Johnny.
It's a picture of pebbles and snow.
That's pretty.
Now get away.
I've got work to do.
Don't worry, Johnny.
I won't bother you.
I'll just sit here and draw some pictures.
What do you want out of life, hot babes?
Hi, Johnny.
Oh, mama!
Big muscles.
Move along, buster.
Fancy cheeses?
Then you need a career.
Let our computers pick the career for you.
Hot dang career test.
Gimme that.
Hey!
Thank you very much.
Can you obey orders from your superiors?
I never met one.
How often do you wear a necktie?
A, always.
B, sometimes.
C, never.
D, I like pickles.
Oh, I like them pickles.
D, this is gonna be easy.
I'm done.
Me too.
Look at the swarm of locusts.
Great, kid.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a letter to send.
Mail this letter, mailman.
Right away!
And remember, kids, never step in front of speeding traffic.
Bravo, Johnny.
Ballerino.
Hmm.
Well, I am kind of graceful.
And flexible.
And I look good in types.
Swan Pond.
Rehearsals in progress.
This must be the place.
Hey, swanny mamas.
Wanna go back to my place and get downy?
They dig me.
Just look at you Spazkowski!
Eating again!
You're such a disgusting blob, you can barely squeeze into your tights.
Hey, nobody talks to the great Spazkowski like that.
I quit!
Hey, I quit!
I could teach a gorilla to dance better than you.
Now, where the heck am I going to find a gorilla?
Hello?
Who are you?
I am Johnny Bravo, and I was born to dance.
Were you?
Well, then, put on these tights and be on stage in two minutes.
Okay, Johnny, as the girls dance in stage right,
you enter stage left, dancing on your toes.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you be clumsy!
I said on your toes, you buffoon, not theirs!
On your toes, like this!
Now, you do it!
Look at me, I'm dancing!
In this scene, as the girls enter from either
side, you must catch them and set them down gently.
Hey!
Ooh!
Ah!
Oh!
Catch, lift, and set down!
Gently!
These are my latest drawings, Teddy.
A swarm of locusts, ants on white bread, freckles on that neighbor kid.
Hey, what's this?
Oh, no!
It's Johnny's test!
I'd better mail it for him, quick!
Now, Johnny, I want you to leap gracefully
around the stage, like a stag in the forest!
Stag in the forest?
I'm there!
Good!
Send in the hounds!
Mama!
He's got it!
My job, he's got it!
It's Johnny's career test results!
I've got to get to the theater!
Taxi!
Thanks, mister!
I've got to see my friend!
Sorry, kid.
Not without a ticket.
Tonight, you will be performing my masterpiece!
After tonight, when people see me on the street, they will
say, Hey, there goes one heck of a choreographer, boy!
And you, bravo!
You will have pretty girls, expensive cars, and fancy cheeses!
Don't screw it up!
All right, now get in your places!
Chop, chop!
It's showtime!
I am a genius!
Johnny, I have something for you!
Fan mail!
Man, that was quick!
No, Johnny, it's from the career center!
They made a mistake on your test results!
Gimme that!
Dear Johnny, please ignore the last set of test results.
The only job you are suited for is busting rocks with your head.
Whoa!
Suddenly, I don't feel so good.
It's showtime, Johnny!
Now get out there!
Why don't you need tutu?
Can't move.
Feet fill my stone blocks!
What is he doing?
These aren't my down steps!
He's changing my beautiful belly!
You might as well just bring my heart out!
You might as well just steal my soul!
No!
Psh, pssh!
Mama!
Whoa!
Mosh pit!
Whoops!
Whoa!
Mosh Pit!
Bye-bye, Johnny!
Whoa!
There's only one way to move this rock.
I'll get the dynamite.
Kid, you got yourself a job.
Hot bang.
Join the Muscle Head Book Club.
A new workout every month for only 25 cents.
Stop, Mommy!
He's looking at pictures of all those naked men!
This is a men's fitness magazine.
I want to look like this, not at this.
I got nothing to be ashamed of.
TV Guide.
Ten books for a quarter.
Can't beat that.
Man, the post office is fast these days.
Evil Secrets of the Nether Regions.
Funny name for a workout book.
Must be for them hard to reach places.
Ha!
Let's get started buffing up.
It says here, draw a circle with powdered head of toad.
Hmm.
All I got is pretzel crumbs from the couch.
You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out.
You raise your arms to the power of the underworld, and you shake it all about.
It is I, Derek, spirit of the underworld, scion
of darkness, perpetrator of all things evil.
Is that like a personal trainer?
Yes, that's it.
I'm your personal trainer.
Kinda scrawny, aren't you?
Maybe, but I possess powers beyond your wildest imaginings.
With this rube as my unwitting pawn, I will
perpetrate unspeakable acts and thereby win my horns.
Say what?
Chicken butt.
Say what?
Chicken butt!
I hate that game.
Well, that's because it's evil.
Well, I got my weights.
Let's get started.
Oh, no, my burly friend.
I have something far more devious in store for us.
A rampage of horrible, insidious mayhem.
I mean, a brisk cardiovascular workout.
Let's begin here with some aerobics on this pristine bit of lawn.
What the sign says, keep off the grass.
Oh, poo on your rules.
Dance, I say!
Alright.
That's it, Johnny.
Really tear it up.
Oh, my.
Look, Mommy, a horrible mutant rabbit!
It appears that the beast was spawned by this illegally buried toxic waste.
Thank you, young man.
Your pathetic little dance has saved countless lives.
Oh, poopy.
I don't get it.
What are we doing here?
We're going through the ten item express line with eleven items.
And we're taking cutties to do it!
How's this gonna help me bulk up?
Uh, well, those items are full of nourishing goodness.
What about this margarine?
That's to, uh, oil up your new muscles.
Eleven items?
Yes!
Eleven items.
One more than ten!
No problem here.
Oh?
How about if we pay in pennies?
Canadian pennies!
I've been looking for a 1929 Rachel Glasses Queen Victoria Penny all my life!
Double poopy.
I'm thieving.
That's it.
Paint, Johnny!
Paint like that again!
Uh, why am I doing this?
Bicep twist, Johnny, to increase your range of motion.
You're some kind of weirdo, aren't you?
Sorry, kids.
You gotta be this tall to ride.
I love me!
Look at us, children!
You're having fun and you're not!
Whoa!
Oh, how can we ever thank you?
You saved our children from that defective ride!
All right, that's it!
You're the worst trainer I've ever met!
I'm out of here!
Oh, no, you're not!
Hey, what just happened?
I feel kind of funny.
I've possessed you!
Well, I don't like it.
Tough snoogies!
I'm tired of you mucking things up!
I'm going to use your body to wreak havoc on the entire world!
How about lunch first?
All right, lunch.
Hey, Jenny, what'll it be?
Side of fries.
One side of entrails, please!
Entrails?
That's disgusting!
Well, they're my favorites, so be quiet!
We'll have the hamburger special with entrails, please!
And extra onions.
Oh, all right, extra onions.
And charge it to this card!
Sure thing.
Hey, Pops.
Hey, Johnny.
Johnny's acting weird, Carl.
I suspect he's been possessed by an evil entity.
How do you know?
He tried to pay for his meal!
With this Master of the Abyss credit card!
Is it true, Johnny?
Have you been possessed by an evil entity?
Well... That was delicious, must run!
I've got to go perpetrate my deliciously evil plan!
I mean... Pick up some curvaceous chicks!
We're gonna pick up chicks?
Quiet!
Sorry.
We've got to try to stop him, Carl.
What do we do?
You follow Johnny?
I have a plan.
But... but... Go!
I've got some cooking to do!
I thought you said there were gonna be babes here!
Tile, it's my clueless dupe!
I'm about to complete my infidious masterpiece of evil!
And finally earn my horns!
Stop!
What are you doing?
Oh, good!
An audience to watch me short-circuit the reservoir's filter system!
Big deal!
That won't hurt anyone!
No, but it will give the water a nasty, metal-y taste!
Hold, demon!
You're too late, old man!
Who am I?
Oh, a bad with nachos!
No!
Must...
Pull... Switch!
Must... Eat... Nachos!
No!
Evil!
Nachos!
I failed!
I'm a big fat loser!
I don't get it!
Can't you just throw the switch yourself?
Of course I can do it!
That's not the point!
I'm supposed to make him do it!
That's what makes it evil!
Oh, I hate you people!
Johnny, your soul is safe!
Thank goodness we arrived in time!
Give me a nacho.
Don't touch.
Oh, triple poopy!
And these are the prehistoric tar pits where dinosaurs became trapped while
looking for food and sink to an oozy death.
I suppose when your brain's the size of a cashew, you're too
stupid to avoid walking into a lake of sticky, disgusting tar.
This way, please...
You call this bug spray?
It doesn't do a thing!
That's not bug spray, Johnny.
That's meat tenderizer.
Ah!
Aw, this trip stinks.
I thought you said we were gonna see some major babes.
I didn't say major babes, Johnny.
I said major is babium.
It's a rare species of plankton.
What?
Give me that oar.
We're going home.
Oh, no, we're not.
Gimme, I said.
No, Johnny.
Gimme that oar.
Waterfall!
Hero!
Hero.
No, you.
Hero!
I said hero!
Oh, Johnny, I was so scared.
Oh, look out.
Uh-oh.
Good thing I landed in the water.
Guess Carl didn't make it.
I'll miss a little feller.
Well, can't mourn forever.
Wonder if there's a burger joint around here.
First hand.
Come on, Rudolph.
Fetch the stick, boy.
Here you go, boy.
Now go get it.
Hey there, little forest Betty.
For you, my luscious little wood nymph.
I was about to let me be yours, Dudley Oak.
Is that a yes?
Wake him!
Sarsaparilla and fresh horses for all my men.
So, yellow giant.
Dada say you give her flower.
This mean you propose marriage.
Well, what say you stranger with long head?
Well, maybe I... Marriage?
I... It's just that I... Well, I...
Marriage.
Rootsy, I'm home!
Hi, honey!
Mwah!
I missed you.
How was everything at the plant?
It's growing on me.
Say, how's little Sticky?
Oh, he's been sleeping like a log all day.
Aww.
Dinner's ready.
I made your favorite.
Mmm.
Sequoia.
Oh, boy-a.
Oh, whoop-a-hey.
Let's get hitched.
If anyone objects to the union of this couple, let him speak now.
I object!
Let me go, Carl.
Nice going, monkey boy.
Don't move, Johnny.
It's quicksand.
The more you struggle, the faster you sink.
Or it might be a very shallow mud puddle.
You have angered our gods and must be sacrificed!
Uh, is that gonna hurt?
Take them to the man-eating plant!
Bomber.
Well, how was I supposed to know you liked her?
Hot babe.
With a treehouse.
What's not to like?
Look, Johnny.
It's a rare mucilum horrendi.
A truly magnificent specimen, too.
You ain't gonna keep talking after we're dead, are ya?
Ohhhh!
Hey, come on!
You can eat me, but don't mess up my hair, man!
Anything with a hair!
Ohhhh!
I guess I was... too pretty to eat.
Or it may have been the dairy creamers in my Fanny pack.
Musilum horrendi are extremely lactose intolerant.
Whatever.
What-a-a-a-a!
Oh!
Dump-dump!
Whoa!
Bama!
AB.
Musole.
And this is the second one.