One, two, three...
Way there.
Assassin.
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Hmm.
What are you doing, Johnny?
Hey, Mama.
I'm preserving myself for the ages in chopped liver.
Johnny, I was going to serve that to the girls in my mahjong club.
What?
You mean people eat this stuff?
Mmm.
Johnny is tasty.
Here, Johnny.
This came for you in today's mail.
Read it for me, Mama.
My hands are all livery.
Oh, Johnny, it's a chain letter.
It says here that horrible things will happen if
you don't copy it and forward it to ten people.
Gimme that.
No, Johnny.
What are you doing?
Aw, Mama.
Chain letters are just a bunch of superstitious hoo-ha.
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my favorite show.
Hiya!
My psychic buddies are waiting for your call.
Keep waiting.
Hello, and welcome to another edition of Bikini Bungie Jumping.
Due to technical difficulties, your regular show will be preempted by an
old man reading the Pennsylvania Penal Code.
Whosoever is found loitering near a filling station during the hours of 3 and 5 A.
M.
Stinking cable.
Oh, Johnny.
It's starting.
Horrible, tragic, bad luck.
I'd better put on my lucky support hose.
I'm too pretty to have bad luck.
I'm going to the gym.
Sorry, new policy.
No skateboards, no dogs, no Johnnies.
Huh?
Alright, stay calm.
This ain't about no chain letter, it's just a coincidence.
Sorry, mister.
Hey, that almost hit my hair.
What next?
Uh-oh.
Oh, mama.
Look, girls, it's Johnny Bravo!
Get out!
I'm sorry, baby!
That was fun.
Good for us.
Nice work, lady.
Let's get lunch.
Yum.
Having a bad day, Johnny?
Don't get near me, kid.
I got some seriously twisted mojo going on.
Really?
Whenever I have bad luck, I pet a kitty.
Pet a kitty, huh?
Well, I'm desperate enough to try it.
Here, kitty.
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Nice kitty cat.
Huh?
Oh!
Ow.
So you're having a run of bad luck, eh, Johnny?
You know, when I was hunting giant squid off the coast of Bimini back in 62,
we had a lot of cursed luck.
The natives called it bad juju.
That's why, when you were out cold, I took some of your hair
and toenails and fashioned a crude doll in your likeness.
Just keep the doll safe and no harm will come to you.
Ah!
Aw.
Don't be swayed by these primitive superstitions, Johnny.
As any man of science will tell you, the only way to break a curse is...
to swing a sack of salamis in a cornfield while yodeling at the break of dawn.
Here goes nothing.
Yodley, yodley, yodley, yodley, yodley, yodley, yodley, yodley, yodley.
Hey, nothing bad's happening.
It worked.
I broke the curse.
Go, little salamis.
Break free of your natural casings.
With these deli meats as my witness, I'll never be unlucky again.
Whoa!
Can you spell hemorrhage?
Dionne Warwick?
Sorry, reflex.
Hello, Johnny.
My psychic buddies and I heard your karmic cries for help.
Aw.
There's nothing you can do for me, Dionne.
I got a terminal case of bad juju.
You don't have bad juju, Johnny.
You created your own misfortune by not believing in yourself.
I did?
Of course.
It doesn't matter whether you walk under a
ladder, break a mirror, or tear up a chain ladder.
Real luck comes from inside a person's own heart.
Hey, nothing happened.
It is all a bunch of silly superstition.
That's right, Johnny.
Johnny bravels through being sissy slapped by Lady Luck.
From now on, I make my own destiny.
I'm free.
Free!
Goodbye, Johnny, and take care of your sa- Shhh!
Oh.
Now go away.
That kung fu guy is a decision you will look to regret!
Thank you for saving our town, Kung-Fu Guy.
But how did you know they were robots?
Robots?
Squint Ringo, you're likened to a god to me.
Squint Ringo fans, meet your favorite action star signing his new book,
Ringo on Ringo, tomorrow morning at the Galleria Mall.
I am looking forward to meeting you.
At Krelvin's Book Mart.
Squint Ringo in person.
Ha-ha!
I'm there.
I like to make a good impression on people.
Here, Sonny.
Let me help you up.
Ah, thanks, old timer.
Hey, aren't you a bit old to be a Squint Ringo fan?
Well, I don't know about that, but I do know one thing.
There's gold under this here mall and I means to get it.
Yes, for me.
I means to get it.
I do, I do.
It's gonna be a long night.
Let's.
keep this line moving.
We love you, Squint.
You're the best.
Come on, people.
Chop-chop!
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry, but there's only one more book.
You'll all have to go home.
What?
I can't be denied.
Hey, Mr. Ringo.
I'm your biggest fan.
Is that so?
I know all your moves.
The, the spleen jab from episode 23.
The gouge of 1,000 suns from episode 42.
Nice moves, kid.
Very impressive.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Yeah, uh-huh, yeah.
Right.
Hey, kid, uh, how'd you like to be on the show?
Would I?
What would I be?
Like your sidekick or something?
Uh, something like that.
Oh, mama!
I'm gonna be a star.
And the winner for best actor is...
Johnny Bravo for Dragon Thor 7, The Spellum Hoisin!
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Hey, breath.
Quiet on the set.
I know, but just cheer, you know what I'm saying?
Hey, baby.
I'm Johnny Bravo.
Where's my trailer?
Bravo, Johnny.
You're supposed to go to make-up.
Kung Fu Guy, scene 37.
Take one!
And action!
I'm not interested in your long-distance service.
Cut!
Oh, beautiful squint!
Beautifo!
Take a juice break.
Bring out the meat!
Get in there, son!
What's my motivation?
He'll hit you.
And you'll feel pain!
Got it.
Places!
And... Action!
Cut!
Printed!
Nice working with you.
You're a very giving performer.
Action!
Is the safety pillow properly inflated?
Oh, yes.
Cut, print!
Let's break for lunch.
I'll be in my trailer.
Believe it or not, I was once in average yachts, just like you.
I was waiting tables at the Good and Beefy.
Until one fateful evening.
This steak is far too tough.
Let me tenderize it for you.
Kid, I'm gonna make you a star!
So remember, show your stuff, break the rules, and maybe you can be a star like me.
Squint's right.
I've gotta show him what Johnny Breville's made of.
Let's go, Bravo.
You're up.
Oh, yeah.
Magic time.
Cut!
Bring out the meat!
I'll take it from here.
I liked your book.
Yeah?
My face!
He hit my face!
Let's take it again from my good side.
Oh!
He hurt!
Squint!
Get up!
Book signing!
How about a book?
Book today?
What you got there, young fella?
It's my new book.
Never, ever, ever hit a TV star.
It's gold, I tell you!
Pigou!
Boo!
Wiggy.
Whoop!
Johnny Bravo, you trail a common tree stump by over $12,000.
Here's your final question.
Name the four food grooves.
Fruit, dairy, uh, beef jerky, and a garden hose.
Ooh, wrong!
Common tree stump!
You're our winner!
Nuts!
This game's fixed!
More pickled peacock tongue, O'Royal one?
Does my fanning disturb you, Prince of Princess?
Your Highness!
A terrible crisis!
The royal currency is down over 20% in the
face of ongoing international trade deficits!
Oh, must I do everything myself?
Simply borrow against the principal and reinvest in our Pacific Rim soybean futures!
Brilliant, Your Majesty!
You've saved the economy!
All hail, Prince Hondo!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
But I grew bored of such things.
Leave me.
I wish to brood.
Oh, what a bore my Prince of Duties have become!
How I long for a simpler life!
The answer is easy, Your Majesty!
Just find a commoner who is your exact double and switch places with him!
Are such things done?
I see it on TV all the time!
Yes, of course, I'll do it!
Uh, you realize, as the only one who's aware
of my plans, you will have to be silenced?
I would be honored, Your Majesty!
Excellent!
But where can I find an exact double so stupid, so brainless, that he'll be
incapable of exploiting his new princely position?
Careful!
Steady!
Perfect!
Mwah!
Oh, yeah!
My posterior preserve for posterity.
Huh?
Ooh, shiny!
Hi, beautiful!
Hello, Johnny!
Whoa!
Talkin' mirror!
Echo!
Might I have a word with you?
I-I don't know, I-I was told to stop talking to myself in public.
Oh!
I have a proposal to make you.
Hey, you ain't one of them rich princes who wants
to switch places with his exact double, are ya?
Um, why, yes I am.
You see, I-Wanna experience life as a commoner, I know.
Am I really that transparent?
Nah, I-I just seen a lot of TV.
But it ain't gonna work, mister.
Mama would spot a fake in a minute.
Johnny!
There you are, Johnny!
It's time for lunch!
And tell that cheap lookalike to get his limo out of my driveway!
We got a deal!
Something tells me I'm in for a wacky, fun-filled adventure.
To the palace, chauffeur boy!
Hey!
Hmm, good woman.
This is the best spreadable lunch meat I've ever had.
Hmm, but you barely touched it, honey.
And I just opened a fresh drum.
Now don't hurt Mama's feelings.
Eat, eat, come on.
No, no, please.
I-I couldn't eat another bite.
Aw, is the government meat too tough for my little soldier?
Here, let Mama tenderize it for you.
There, that's much better.
Now open wide.
Dear, sweet, merciful heavens!
I do hope my counterpart is faring better than I.
I'm starving.
Got any government meat?
I'll check with the chef, sire.
But first you must attend your royal duties.
Hail, Prince Hondo!
Hey, thank you, you're beautiful.
Hail, Prince Hondo!
Oh, my.
Please, your highness, it's time for your weekly address to the nation.
Address to the nation?
I'm all over it.
Hello, nation.
Hello, your majesty.
How y'all doing?
Fine.
So, uh, what'd you do this weekend?
Nothing special.
I saw a movie.
Quiet.
All right.
Well, uh, keep it up.
Now to experience life as an average, everyday schmo.
Hello, young lady.
My, what bracing weather we're... No!
There seems to be misunderstanding.
For the 15th time, bravo.
I will not go out with you!
No!
Hi, Johnny.
Hey, you don't look so good.
Fifth century boss.
Twelve century figurine.
Bronze dynasty picture.
Priceless terracotta statue.
I'm bored.
Where's my lawn darts?
But, sir, it's time for your meeting with the Queen Mother of Effluvia.
We mustn't keep her waiting, sir.
Ah.
All right.
Show the old battle axe in.
Greetings, your majesty.
I am here to sign the treaty which will bring peace to our two nations.
Whoa!
Never mind that.
How's about you and me forming a more perfect union?
I think not.
Want to see my royal seal?
Creep.
This means war!
Voila!
Can I call you sometime?
And these are the worker termites.
This one is signaling the others with his scent glands.
Fascinating, I'm sure.
But I really must be toddling along.
Peruvian fire termites sense rejection, Johnny.
You'd better apologize to the Queen.
Apologize!
No!
What's all...
Uh-oh.
Let's get out of here!
I've had it with you people.
You're all extremely silly.
Ah, this is the line.
I'm rich, pampered, and loved by all.
Hey, anybody seen the remote?
Prince Hundo, for creating a mockery of the crown, promoting war and other crimes
against the state, I hereby place you under arrest.
Bummer.
Fear not, my nobles.
Your prince has returned.
What?
Seize him!
What is the meaning of this?
Unhand your prince!
No.
Which one of you is the real prince, and which one the imposter?
Answer carefully, because the real prince will be
imprisoned in the tower for the rest of his natural life.
Pears!
Stop!
I'm Mark Twain, author of The Prince and the Papa, and I'm begging cartoon makers
everywhere to please let this tired story die!
There's only one solution to this quandary.
Hey, hey, Princey, check it out.
Bunny rabbit.
I'm all poopy!
Look out!
Hup, huh!
Owww!
Bup, bup!
Ooh, mama!
A bad!
Moosehead!
Bum!
And this is the second one.