One, two, three, go!
Way there.
Sassy!
Man, I'm pretty!
Do the monkey with me!
Come on!
Hey there, way there.
Yeah, whatever.
One!
Hey, shove over!
I'm breaking out of here!
Oh, yeah!
Come to papa!
Sweet freedom!
Come on, boys!
Let's make a run for it!
What's wrong with you guys?
Ah, you're pathetic!
Tigger me when you're swimming in bisque, you losers!
No-hoo!
Where do you think you're going, little fella?
I ain't going back, you lousy!
Two-legged freak of nature!
Well, you have to catch me first!
Come here, you little...
You stinky little...
Hey lady, where do you keep them fish sticks?
Sorry, only fresh fish here.
Ah, too bad.
I was planning on fixing up a special St. Swithin's Day dinner for my mama,
and she likes them little fish sticks.
Oh!
Well, only the best will do for your mother.
Why don't you buy her a nice juicy lobster?
Lobster?
That come in sticks?
Say, you're in luck.
We're having a special today.
Two cents a pound.
Ah, that's a little rich for my blood.
Oh, that's alright.
You can pay me later.
Here you go.
Have a nice day.
But I... but... Thanks for coming in.
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.
You say something?
I said, bon appetit!
Page 57.
How to cook a lobster.
There are many ways to prepare a lobster.
You can cut them open and stuff them with breadcrumbs.
Boil them alive.
Or freeze them into lobster sickles for a summertime treat.
Yikes!
Ow!
Hey, you!
Did you throw that?
Uh... no.
Good.
Whoa!
Hey, wait a minute.
Lobsters can't talk.
Oh, well...
I'm a magic lobster.
Yeah, that's it.
And I'm here to Grant you a... two... three wishes.
Hmm... Well, I've always wanted one of them six-foot hoogies.
Hmm... Oh!
Come on, come on.
What's that, boy?
Tim is in the well?
Oh, you need to go out.
Hey, wait a minute.
I know what's going on here.
You're trying to sneak out without your leash.
Hold on, I don't have a...
Dog.
Congratulations!
You've won the publisher's sweepstakes bonanza!
No kidding?
Oh, mama.
I ain't never... won anything poor in my life.
Hey, wait a minute.
Let's get a picture, buddy.
Smile!
No!
This might pinch a bit.
That'll teach you to mess with crustaceans, mister... Ooh!
Look at me!
My skeleton's on the inside!
Pooey!
Now Johnny's angry!
You're not gonna act so smart when you're red and boiled, you stupid mollusk!
And by the way, I don't think you are a magic lobster!
No, kid, don't!
This ain't you!
Look in your heart!
Sorry, I saw that movie.
Get in the bucket, you stupid lobster!
Oh, Johnny!
Johnny, what have you done to my house?
Oh, mama.
I was just trying to fix you a nice lobster dinner for St. Swithin's Day.
Oh, that's so sweet, Johnny.
But you know shellfish makes me swell up like a balloon.
Why don't we go out for dinner?
It's on me.
I'd like the fish sticks, oh, gratin, please.
I'll have the chicken fried chicken.
And for your little friend, give me a rump a cow, and I wanna hear it moo!
This year's hot fashion theme is everything dairy, with clothes for the
naughty milkmaid who yearns for a dollop of elegance when the workday's done.
Udder hats and live farm animals are the hot accessories du jour.
This little number made from low-cow cottage cheese
will make the farm boy in your man say, yee-haw!
Man, them high fashion model babes make me all sweaty-like.
Used to be a model, Johnny!
I ain't no chick.
They have male models too!
Male models?
Fifteen, twenty-five, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two!
Why would I wanna be one of those?
Because then you'd get to meet and hang out with all the lady models you like so well.
Hmm, I am pretty.
And my skin's kinda silky.
I'll do it!
Hey!
I found the remote!
It says here to be a model, you need a portfolio.
What's a portfolio?
A portfolio is a book of photos that showcase a model in a variety of poses.
I did a little picture-taking myself when I
was a war correspondent back in the Big One.
Why, I remember it like it was yesterday.
Me and the red guard toe-to-toe on the 38th parallel.
Smoke all around!
Machine guns blaring!
Ag-ag-ag-ag-ag-ag-ag-ag-ag-ag-ag!
Pops!
Enemies to the right!
Pops!
Enemies to the left!
There's steps of fear in the air, Pops!
Eh?
Settle down.
You got the job.
Oh, great!
We'll shoot at dawn.
Eh, these green leafy surroundings are perfect.
Eh, they'll really bring out the red in Johnny's blood.
Ah, Pops, there's no blood here.
Just clothes.
Oh, uh, right.
I don't see why I have to wear these stupid safari clothes.
Because, Johnny, Manly and Rugged is in this year.
Well, all right, if it makes me look manly and rugged.
Now, give me my make-up.
Eh, ready when you are, Johnny.
Okay, Pops, try to keep up.
That's it.
Hold it.
The camera loves you, son.
Okay, bring it.
Work it, baby.
Give me beefcake, Johnny.
Eh, that's it.
Hold it.
Ah, that's some sassy stuff, Johnny.
Uh-oh.
Nobody look.
Ho, ho, ho.
Good luck, Johnny.
Thank you very much.
You come in here with Mount Fuji on your nose and expect me to put you on the runway?
You're fired.
You cannot fire me.
Where are you going to find another size 52 regular by tonight's show?
Hey, there.
I'm here, and I'm pretty.
You're hired.
Righteous.
Day is upon me.
I am a professional pretty boy.
I am sickened, but curious.
Hi, Johnny.
Carl has a bad case of poison Ivy.
Oh, that stings.
No, impossible.
This is my special low-sodium corn chowder with aloe.
I must have gotten it on yesterday's shoot.
I hope you don't get it, Johnny.
No way.
I'm too cool to be hurt by a plant.
Hey, say, you hungry, Johnny?
No thanks, Pops.
Us models got to watch our girlish figures.
Well, later, I got to go make pretty.
Later, Johnny.
That's funny.
I feel like a thousand angry pirates annoying at my skin.
It's a glorious night for the fashion world as designer
Tango prepares to unveil his sizzling new four lines.
It's show time, my pretty people.
I know you will have a delicious show wearing the fabulous clothes of Tango.
Oh, mama.
I'll make this junk look good.
Hey, Skinny.
How about you and me getting dinner after the show?
I only date actors.
I'm pretty.
You're pretty.
What do you say we go home and stare at each other?
Only actors.
Uh, actors.
Please, here we go.
Places, my pretties, make Tango proud.
Oh, that is very, very nice.
Okay.
I love the horn.
It's so beautiful.
Don't hit me because I'm beautiful.
Go on.
Love it, horn.
Hiya!
Bob, there is no scratching in the show of Pango!
You terrible man.
Oh, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
Sean, I direct TV commercials.
You're perfect for a spot I'm shooting tomorrow.
Ooh, an actor.
We'll come back to When Cats Behave, after these messages.
So, Johnny, now that you're a famous commercial actor, what are your next big roles?
Thought I'd tackle the classics, maybe do one of them chimp movies?
Quiet, everyone!
Johnny's commercial is on!
Hi, I'm Johnny Bravo.
And whenever I break out over my entire body with scaly, disgusting red welts,
I see fast, soothing relief with Fred's skin balm.
Ah, creamy.
So, for those bodaciously bad rashes, get Fred's skin balm.
It works.
This has been an actual itchy, disgusting person, not an actor.
In fact, if he were an actor, he'd probably stink.
I'm famous.
Kiss me.
Must have rushed off to buy my skin products.
I'm pretty and persuasive.
Welcome to the chess match of the century.
Johnny Bravo vs.
the supercomputer.
What's this horsey thing again?
It's a knight.
Can I move here?
No.
King me.
There is no king me in chess.
Hey, look at me.
I'm a Martian.
Anyone up for a parcheese?
I'm late for my foxy boxing class, Johnny.
Now, there's a box of your favorite cereal in the cabinet, honey.
But, Mama, I don't know how to cook.
You can do it, silly.
You're my clever little boy.
Well, gotta go.
Calm down, Johnny.
It's only breakfast.
You can do this.
Mmm... Frosted sugar bits.
The great taste of frosted sugar in bits.
Free gift inside.
Pour into bowl and add milk.
Oh, man, this is trickier than I thought.
Huh?
No?
Around the world with 80 babes.
Greetings, lonely guy.
Tired of being dumped by women from your own country?
Beautiful, international women are willing to lower their standards to meet you today.
Just call 1-800-L-A-D-Y.
That's 1-800-LADY.
Give me that phone.
Hello, and welcome to Babe Phone.
To meet a babe, press 1 now.
Congratulations.
Please allow six days for your companion to arrive.
Six days?
What am I gonna do for six days?
Dang.
Who's in seat 7A?
Oh, another lucky exotic companion headed for America!
Dang.
You Johnny Bravo?
If I wasn't, could I do this?
Hyah!
Impressive.
I have a package for you.
Sign here, please.
Oh, mercy, this is gonna be good.
Hello, male Arthur, sweetie-bye!
So pleased to be here!
I'm giving big hog!
I-I-I think there's been a mistake.
I-I ordered a babe!
No mistake!
Johnny ordered companion, and here I am being!
Hyah!
Well, I-I-I changed my mind.
So let's go find you another crate to, uh...
You are being funny!
Hey, you're like a man with sense of humor!
No, I'm serious.
You really gotta leave now.
Helga know what problem is!
Johnny is afraid of love!
Johnny is afraid of spinal injury!
Hey, Johnny!
Look what I have!
Two tickets to steel cage wrestling!
Carl!
Great to see you, buddy!
Sorry!
I didn't know you had come-Oh, she's beautiful!
Carl, you gotta help me.
How do I get rid of Helga?
I don't know.
Just do the same thing you do to drive away all the women.
Intimidate them with my dazzling good looks?
No, Johnny.
Take her out on the worst date of her life!
Hmm.
That's not a bad idea.
Give me those tickets!
Okay!
Goodbye, Johnny!
Goodbye!
Come on, Burly Mama.
You and me are stepping out.
Ah, good!
The carton!
And tramping like little girl!
Help them!
Overize them!
I hope you like crowds, loud noise and dirty fighting.
I-I go on this clever night.
And now, steel cage wrestling's main event, the audience challenge!
A year's supply of tube socks to anyone who
can go one round with a house tag team of doom!
The surly accountant and the substitute teacher!
Don't make me send you to detention.
If you never wanna see me again, I-I'll understand.
Are you kidding?
We can beat those girly-armed canvas jockeys!
Come on!
Whoa!
I think it's time for an audit!
I hope you saved your receipts!
Not the face!
Ah!
Could you get your spine out of my eye?
It's trash-taking all time!
This could go on your permanent drag or I- Uh!
One!
Two!
Three!
So, you, uh, like it?
Ooh, it's delicious!
Just like stepmother used to slip under door!
More raccoon nuggets, kids?
Please, Mr. Pops?
Say, where'd you find this one, Johnny?
She came in a box.
She's a keeper!
By the way, here's a complimentary bottle of
clam juice from that handsome fella at the bar!
Excuse me.
Why, you little pencil neck Casanova!
What do you mean by muscling in on my date?
I thought you didn't like her!
I don't like her.
At least, I didn't think I liked her.
On the other hand, I-I never met a woman quite like her.
A woman who likes everything I like.
She may not be pretty.
She may not smell too good, but... Could it be if Johnny in love?
Who are you talking to?
Shut up, clown!
Time to turn on some of the old Johnny Brubble charm.
Hey, baby.
How about we climb on that tractor of love and reap a big old bumper crop of Johnny?
Johnny!
What has gotten on top of you all of a sudden?
You make me the crazy talking!
I know that you're worried that I'm much prettier
than you, but maybe the kids will look like me.
Now, pucker up and let's do the face tango!
Big!
Is it something else, Ed?
Helga make a big mistake ever liking you!
Come, skinny.
You know how to treat a large woman of indeterminate country.
The only girl I ever really loved.
And she's gone.
I wonder if I'll ever get over the... Hey, nuggets!
I'll get them in.
Whoa!
Look out!
Huh!
Bah, bah! rophnow.
Obama!
A babe!
Mostang!
Perfect!