One, two, three, go!
Way there!
Sassy!
Man, I'm pretty!
Do the monkey with me!
Come on!
Hey there, baby!
Yeah, whatever.
Don't know why I gotta do this.
The lawn's only gonna get dirty again.
And Johnny, dear, when you finish that, I want you to rake the living room.
Hi, Johnny.
Whatcha doing?
None of your business.
You're funny.
Will you do me a favor?
No.
Can I keep my science project in your garage?
Not a chance.
Okay, thanks.
And don't look under the tarp.
It's a secret.
I'm worried about spies.
You're a weird little freak.
I know I am, but what are you?
I wonder if I could hunt him for sport.
Science project, huh?
Molecular body mass teleportation device.
Body mass?
You can never have too many muscles.
Oh.
Science.
Dang flies.
I don't feel any buffer.
I turned into some kind of horrible fly mutant.
Still pretty, though.
I better find Carl.
There you are, Johnny.
I've been looking all over for you.
Come inside.
It's time for lunch.
I can't believe this is happening.
This is the worst, most horrible situation I've ever... Whoa!
Hey, baby.
Ew.
How's it about you and me grabbing a nice bowl of rancid pork?
Dang.
Must be a vegetarian.
Whoa!
Jerk, I got a good plan to lay my eggs on you.
Whoa!
Oh, man.
I gotta find Carl.
I gotta get changed back.
I gotta... Hey, my hands are dirty.
Darling, I've never seen you pay such attention to hygiene before.
And usually you only take two sugars on your meatloaf.
Are you sure you're feeling all right, Johnny dear?
Oh, Johnny.
Johnny, answer me, darling.
I'd better take your temperature.
Let's see... Twenty!
That does it!
Right to bed with you, mister.
That rancid stench.
That smell of rotten flesh.
Hey, it's Pomp's Diner.
I wonder if Carl is here.
There's the little geek now.
I'd better hello pie.
Mmm, gooey.
Buzz off, ugly.
Get your own pie.
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Welcome to Pomp's.
Pomp's corn chowder.
I'm a fly and even I'm revolted.
Hey, where'd Carl go?
Oh no, he's getting away.
Hey, Carl!
Ow!
That was stupid.
Ow.
Hello, Mrs. Bravo.
You're looking beautiful today.
The spectral rays of the sun really bring out the highlights in your varicose veins.
Is Johnny home?
Johnny's in bed with a cold deer.
But you're welcome to peek in and say hello.
Thanks!
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la... Johnny!
Johnny!
Where are you?
Oh, there you are.
Okay, if I check on my science project.
Okay, thanks, bye!
La la la la la la la la la... Oh!
Someone's tampered with my teleportation pods.
There can be only one explanation.
Industrial spies are trying to steal my experiment.
I'd better run home and get my anti-spy kit.
Carl, are you home, you little weed?
Jesse's not around.
Well, as long as I'm here, might as well dance on his toothbrush.
Hello, short, dark and handsome.
Huh?
Hey, multi-legged mama, you looking for company?
Actually, I was just sitting down for dinner.
Care to join me?
What's on the menu, arachnobetti?
You are a fly boy.
Couldn't we just cuddle first?
Gotta find it!
Gotta find my spy kit!
Help me!
Help me, Carl!
Quiet, Johnny.
I'm very busy.
Hey, Johnny, you're a fly.
What happened?
Your stupid machine happened, you geek.
It worked?
Oh, boy, I'm gonna make a fortune.
Uh, Carl.
Now, all I have to do is register with the patent office and... Carl!
All right, save your life.
Gotcha!
Here, flyy, flyy!
Come on!
That's right!
Good boy!
There.
I've lured the Johnny fly into the other pod with some three-day-old meatloaf.
Now, Johnny, you stay in this pod and... Three-day-old meatloaf?
Out there!
Johnny!
Moe!
More chocolate sauce on your pimento loaf, boys?
Yes, please.
Little meat.
This was a strange and disturbing episode.
Johnny, be a doll and hold these girdles for Mama.
Aw, Mama, I can't be seen with all these Lacy things.
The selection is terrible here.
Next time, I'll go to a better place.
Wait for Mama.
I'll be in the changing room.
I'm just holding these for somebody.
Just holding them.
What are you looking at?
Fromage today?
Ha!
Hey, pretty mama.
Fromage today?
I'm blinded!
I can't see!
Whoa.
Everything's furry.
Hey, baby.
Big Johnny's sale today, one size fits all.
I'm just holding this.
Oh, nothing's fitting, Johnny.
Let's try the big and hefty across town.
Johnny?
Sweetie?
Johnny, dear?
I've lost my baby.
What do you mean you don't know your address?
I think there was a one in it.
And you have no idea where your mother is?
She said she was going to a better place.
Oh, you poor kid.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to turn you over to Family Court.
Family Court?
I think my house looks something like this, Your Honor.
Well, that's very nice, Johnny, but I'm afraid it doesn't help us.
See the son?
He's smiling.
Johnny, we're going to have to place you with a foster family.
Well, all right, but you better ask my mama first.
You know, usually it's hard to place someone your age, but
I think I know a family that would be happy to have you.
You must be Johnny.
We're the Andersons.
Why would anyone live here?
I'm Kalak, and this is Unta, your new mom.
I'm freezing my butt off.
And I'm butt.
We're gonna be brothers.
That's nice, now get away from me.
Come on, Johnny.
Let me show you how I taught Scout to fetch icicles.
I want a new trial.
Here, Scout.
Here, boy.
Fetch, Scout.
Good boy.
Now you try, Johnny.
Enough horseplay, kids.
Let's get you two scrubbed for dinner.
I can't feel my body.
Let me show you around, Johnny.
Now this is the den.
We're gonna knock all this down and put in permafrost later.
Where's the TV?
And this is where you and Bud'll be bunking.
Dibs on the top.
Where's the TV?
Kids, Kalak, dinner's on.
Don't you people have fire?
Oh, no, Johnny.
Fire bad.
How about some tartar sauce?
I'm worried about Johnny, Kalak.
He seems to be having a hard time adjusting.
Oh, relax, Unta.
I'm sure that in no time, Johnny will learn to love Arctic life as much as we do.
Oh, my poor baby.
I can never replace him.
Yes?
Good news, Mrs. Bravo.
We found your son.
Hey, get a load of this dump.
It ain't half bad.
This isn't my son.
Look, lady, you'll need a son, see?
And that's me, see?
No!
He's adorable, but so thin.
I'll take him.
Let's get you into the kitchen and put some meat on those bones.
Johnny, it's a beautiful day out.
The weatherman says it might get up to four.
Aw, I'm bored, foster mama.
Oh, why don't you go introduce yourself to the neighbors?
They have a pretty daughter your age.
You said the magic word.
Neighbor?
No.
The?
No.
Introduce?
I'm gonna go now.
Help!
Hey there, frosty mama.
You know, back home, they got 126 different words for my kind of lovin'.
Johnny, up here we live by hunting, fishing, and selling insurance.
I don't know nothing about insurance.
Well, then let's start with fishing.
Ice fishing.
Just what we need.
More ice.
Now the first step is to carve a hole.
Try it, son.
Whoa, Nellie!
I think you got one there, Johnny.
Oh, she's a beauty, son.
Thanks, Dad.
Hey, where's my clams posolipo?
I made it with chocolate sprinkles like you like.
That son of yours didn't know how good he had it.
What a maroon.
Yes.
But he was my little maroon.
Oh, Johnny.
This is gonna be the best blubberman ever.
I'll make him ahead.
And I made a little hat out of walrus' stomachs.
Scout, you come back here!
I'll get it, Foster Mama.
Give me that, you stupid chicken.
Johnny!
Come back to me, darling!
Wiggy!
Come home, Johnny!
Mama!
It is you!
I'm coming, Mama!
Scat, you!
I must go, Foster family.
We know, Johnny.
Your place is at home watching TV.
Here, take the keys to the sled.
I'll never forget you, Kalak.
Uh, lady and kid.
Anyway, bye.
Most doggies!
He was a good son.
Yes.
Bit of a jerk, though.
Tell me about it.
More kugel, Muggsy?
Duh.
And clear out tonight.
I'm having a boys' over for poker.
Of course, sweetheart.
Hey, watch that racket.
Whoa, doggies!
That voice... couldn't be... Mama!
Johnny!
Well, well.
The prodigical son returns.
Who's the small guy?
Johnny, this is Muggsy.
He's an adorable little street urchin.
Listen, wise guy.
This is my type now, see?
So clear out, or I'll have to get rough with you.
Hey, put me down!
Put me down, I said!
Much doggies!
Say hello to the Andersons for me, you little dweeb!
I'll defrost some Halibut for you, darling.
Ah, don't bother, Mama.
It's perfect the way it is.
Oh, Johnny, we're a family again.
That's right, Mama.
There's no place like home.
Johnny Bravo, you trail a common tree stump by over $12,000.
Here's your final question.
Name of four food groups.
Fruit, dairy, uh, beef jerky, and a garden hose.
Ooh, wrong!
Common tree stump, you're our winner!
Nuts.
This game's fixed.
Chilli fries and a sparkling water for madame.
Enjoy the grub.
I hate to see a woman dine alone.
Shufflepuff.
Oh!
Your eyes are like two jelly-like globs that see things.
You want me, don't you?
Say, you gonna eat that?
Need ketchup.
You look like you're used to the finer things in life.
Wanna see me do this?
Hmph!
You, sir, are no gentleman.
Yeah, she digs me.
Lose another one, Johnny?
What's a gentleman, Pops?
A gentleman?
A gentleman's a man of the world.
A sophisticated, bold vivant.
Am I a gentleman?
No.
Aw.
Don't be discouraged, Johnny.
Anyone can become a gentleman.
Even you!
Ha!
Johnny a gentleman?
That's a good one.
Laugh away, Carl!
But I bet I could turn Johnny into a gentleman in a matter of days.
Not Johnny.
He eats soup with his fingers.
It's a lie.
Well, I bet you I could turn Johnny from simian to sophisticate by next Tuesday.
And the loser has to perform a Mexican hat dance for 24 hours straight.
Hey, look at me.
I'm Spoon Man.
Better make that Wednesday.
Welcome to my humble abode, Johnny.
Here we'll begin your transformation.
Hey, look at me.
I'm Spinny Globy Man.
Focus, son.
The hallmark of a gentleman is how he behaves around a lady.
Show me how you'd behave on meeting this lady for the first time.
Hey, society mama.
First class accommodations still available on Air Johnny.
In case of emergency, you can use my seat as a flotation device.
Okay, I'm done talking.
Now check out my pretty.
Hey, I didn't know Burundi was a republic.
Don't worry.
I anticipated this exact circumstance.
Hi, Johnny.
It's me, Carl.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Johnny, what would you say to this woman if you saw her on the street?
How'd you get out of your leash?
Now, Johnny.
You want to be a sophisticated babe magnet, don't you?
I guess.
Well, good.
Then give the lady a little bow.
Yeah, Johnny.
Bow before me.
You miserable look.
Now tell me I'm pretty.
You're pretty.
Thank you.
Pretty repulsive.
Now, carry me.
That's right, Johnny.
Pretend there's a puddle on the street and carry the lady across.
Thank you, kind sir.
Oops, the hatch door's closed.
Carry me back.
Good thing I fed them this morning.
When at tea, Johnny, a gentleman uses proper table etiquette.
Scone.
Tastes like sawdust.
Give me the spray-o-mail.
Johnny, a gentleman should say, please pass the spray-o-mail.
Please pass the spray-o-mail.
I'd be delighted.
Let's try some polite table conversation.
Carl, what did you do today?
I removed the exoskeleton from an Opsia hexacocci and mounted it on my wall.
How delightful.
And what did you do today, Johnny?
I know my pants fell down.
Weird.
Who's ready for eel?
Johnny, don't wipe your mouth on the tablecloth.
That's my mother's dress.
Why, you little...
Pinkies!
I ain't gonna say it.
You've got to.
Proper diction is the hallmark of a sophisticated gentleman.
I can't, I tell you.
Why not?
Because it's stupid.
Oh, it's no use.
I guess Johnny doesn't want to be neck deep in gorgeous
women who worship him just because he's a gentleman.
The ants in France are... trying to have a pants.
Why, George, he's got it.
The ants... Whoa, hey, ho, stop.
No, nuh-uh, no singing.
Now, to put Johnny to the test, and I know just the place.
Here we are, Johnny.
The gold cotillion.
You're in with the upper crust now, boy.
Try it again, Johnny.
The ants in France are prancing up the pants.
Good boy!
Hey, there's the Duchess of Wiggystick.
If you pass with her, you're a gentleman for sure.
Follow me.
Duchess, you look splendid.
Oh, Pops, I haven't seen you since you saved my
life during the soccer riots at Wembley on Trent.
Twas nothing.
Say, I'd like you to meet my protege.
Johnny, meet the Duchess.
Carl, you ugly old basset hound.
What are you doing?
The Duchess of Hoosierface is gonna be here in a minute.
Well, I beg your pardon?
Johnny!
Stop!
Listen to me, you impudent hooligan!
If you say one more word, I'm gonna put the hurtin' on you.
Put the hurtin' on... That's it!
Johnny, no!
Hi, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.
Mama!
A bad...
Mustang.
Alright, Let me just say hey.
Move your heart away.
Some rosyεν years old.
We'll be Grandstander.
We want some backend. activ.?
Yes.
You won,센, tú.
That's right.
You've hope you are leaving right now.
We are having a camera crossing by.
And a.