One, two, three...
Way there.
Sassy.
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
And these are the sluicing tubes where gristle and
tallow are rendered down into a gelatinous albumen.
The albumen, which is the basis of Mr. Kevin's triple-strength hair gel.
The gristle makes it shiny, and the tallow keeps hair stiff for days.
Yes, sir, we know.
This is my 397th tour of the factory.
Three more and I get a prize.
How nice for you.
Moving along, we find... Tell them about the turbo-injected bottling process.
Sir, I'm getting to that.
Now, if you'll all follow me, please watch your step as
industrial crud may have accumulated along the walkway.
She's gonna show us how they stick pretty labels on the bottles and distribute them
to hair salons across... Oh, too bad.
The hair gel will harden around his body,
encasing him in a living prison for eons to come.
And we're walking, we're walking, we're walking.
When do we get to Mr. Kevin's gift shop?
I wanna go to the gift shop.
Hi, Johnny.
What are you doing on a hair gel tour?
You're not on a tour.
You've been frozen in hair gel for over 500 years, and I revived you.
Oh, quit goofing around, Carl.
Interesting.
You must be talking about my
great-great-great-great-grandfather, Carl Kronzizowicz I.
I'm Carl number 97324.
Welcome to the 25th century.
Let me get this straight.
It's 500 years in the future?
Yep.
And you're here?
Uh-huh.
Let me out of here!
I wanna go home!
Help!
I understand, Johnny.
Your primitive brain is confused and rattled.
But with me as your guide, you'll soon grow to love the glorious world of the future!
Uh, Carl, nothing personal, but this place is a dump.
After six world wars and two global plagues, I think we've done quite nicely,
thank you.
Ew!
There's roaches all over the place.
Yeah, and I'm late for work.
Move it, lardbutt!
Ah!
Ugh!
Aw.
Careful, Johnny!
You were almost hit by that fossil fuel powered ground transport.
You mean that car?
This place stinks.
Where's all the talking robots and hovering stuff?
We're working on it.
Cut us some slack, Mr. Bossy.
Whatever.
Got any food in this place?
I'm hungry.
Okay.
Follow me, and I'll treat you to the amazing food of the future.
Hi!
Welcome to Pops!
Pops?
Is it really you?
Sure is, Johnny.
It froze my head back in Aunt Seven after a little tussle with the meat slicer.
Wiggy.
Well, why doesn't everyone preserve their heads and live forever?
Well, Johnny, it's a sad, freakish existence.
So, what can I getcha?
We're starved, Pops.
Two orders of unflavored soy mulch, please.
Eh, could you get it yourself?
I'm a little short-handed at the moment.
It's a little floating head joke.
Eat up, Johnny, while it's still damp.
Stinky food, no rocket cars.
Give me one reason why I should stick around.
That'll do.
Hey, future babe, lower your deflectors.
I've set my facers on love.
Very well.
What?
Really?
Cool!
Luckily, I happen to have brought my hyperlip mandibulators.
What?
Kissing is forbidden, Johnny.
This is how we make out in the future.
That was painful and unsatisfying.
Can we do it again?
Well, this has been fun.
I gotta go now.
No, really.
Stop it.
I must go.
Big Brother summons us.
Well, I'll call you, okay?
Hurry, Johnny.
It's time for the 25th century's favorite TV show.
I don't get it.
I thought you said we were gonna watch TV.
Big Brother.
It's time for the Big Brother Comedy Hour.
With tonight's guests, Raynak of Series Four.
And Stupid Android Dricks.
And now, a man who never gets tired of policing your mind, Big Brother.
Big Brother.
This bites.
What else is on?
Shh, Johnny, please.
Thank you, thank you.
My, what a crowd.
So, a guy walks into a bar and says he hasn't had a bite in three days.
So, I had him arrested and sent to a re-education camp.
No, I kid.
You stink!
Who's got the remote?
You know, buddy, I'll say to you what I say to all my critics.
Seize him!
Quick, Johnny, hold me tight!
Wow, that was a close one.
The future stinks.
Just send me home already.
Don't be silly, Johnny.
You can hide out here with me for the rest of your life.
I'll just set up a cot over here next to the time machine.
Time machine?
Mm-hmm.
And we can stay up late every night and play Yahtzee and be best friends forever
and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.
The albumen, which is the basis of Mr. Kevin's triple strength hair gel.
I made it.
I'm back in my own time.
Sir, I've asked you nicely to please stop talking.
All right.
I'll be good.
I've learned my lesson.
And, uh, watch the ooze on those steps.
Nag, nag, nag.
Why don't you just shut your...
Seize them!
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to make a fortune with this thing.
Whoa!
Marble!
This car must be made completely out of loose change.
Now to get it into these penny rolls.
Excuse me.
That's my car.
Hey, finders keepers.
So, want to get lunch?
I'm rich.
No, but if you take that bus all the way to the
last stop, my twin sister will be waiting for you.
Twin sister, huh?
What's she look like?
Better hurry.
Hmm.
Just like home.
Only more corn.
And the cars are made of horses.
Good morning to you, sir.
You the sister I'm supposed to meet?
Yes, I am Sister Emma.
You must be Brother John Adaya.
Come to visit from the East Country.
Yeah, sure.
Whatever.
Let's ride.
Hello?
Sister Emma?
Anyone?
Left?
Are one of you Sister Emma?
Um, no.
We're gonna go to Daytona Beach for a spring break.
Wanna come?
Alrighty then.
I still don't know why I gotta wear these stupid clothes.
Your East Country ways are truly strange, John Adaya.
All our men dress thusly.
I think I'm getting a burlap wedgy.
You'll get used to it.
Mom Adaya?
Dad Adaya?
I've returned with John Adaya.
Come in.
I was just blunting these farm implements to make the work harder.
Wiggy.
Tell me, John Adaya.
What brings you such a great distance?
Some chick told me her sister here could cure what ails me.
A chicken spoke to you and told you that Emma would perform a healing?
You talk funny.
Yes.
Well, in any event, let me extend the open arms of Brotherly.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm starving.
When's dinner?
You're in for a treat, John Adaya.
I've walked all day to make the food as tasteless as possible.
Mmm.
Radish loaf with skunk root sauce.
This stinks.
Got any ketchup?
Ketchup?
You start with the spicy tang of ketchup and before you know it, you're skipping
about the barn wearing brightly colored garments.
You know, that reminds me of a funny story.
I was washing my hair in the toilet the other day when...
So, when the battery ran out, I realized I had my underwear on my head the whole time.
Hey, wanna see some karate?
Ha!
Yes.
Well, let's get to bed, shall we?
So, how's about tomorrow?
You and me.
Oh, yeah.
Making progress.
Ah!
No problem!
I'm too old for the tiny pants!
Oh, that's you.
What time is it?
It's 4.30, John Adaya.
Do you plan to lay in bed all day when work's to be done?
Work?
Oh, all right.
If that's what it takes to prove myself to you, I'll do it.
Ah, by the way, I ran out of nails, so I pulled some from those other buildings.
I'll do it.
John Adaya, you have brought shame upon us.
And for that, you must receive the treatment.
The treatment?
What the heck is that?
We can't hear you.
We're giving you the treatment.
No!
Please!
Not the treatment!
Stop!
Stop all of you!
John Adaya is our guest.
Yes, his customs may be strange, but we must open our hearts to him.
She does, big man.
Hey, short blonde and righteous.
How's about a quick game of spin-the-butter turn?
Creep!
Didn't see that!
This goes against all the bylaws of our peace-loving community.
Everyone okay with that?
Aye!
Then let the pummeling continue!
Magic word.
What?
Wash the hair.
Come on now.
Boy, that hurt.
Welcome to the chess match of the century.
Johnny Bravo vs.
the supercomputer.
What's this horsey thing again?
It's a knight!
Can I move here?
No!
King me!
There is no king me in chess!
Hey!
Look at me!
I'm a Martian!
Anyone up for a parcheese?
It's.
hopeless!
Twelve hours to live!
Good gravy, Carl!
It's just a lousy houseplant!
It's not just a houseplant!
It's the best Venus flytrap I ever had!
Take him, Pops!
I want him to spend his final days among the flies he loves so well!
Alrighty!
I'll put him in the kitchen!
The place is lousy with the little stinkers!
Farewell, little Dianaya Muscapula!
Parting is such sweet sorrow!
Hey, Dreeb, what's up?
You look like somebody died!
Oops!
I think I've made a terrible mistake!
I'm wearing my underwear on the outside!
Ah, that's better.
Now, who died?
Not died.
Dying.
Read the medical report.
What?
Twelve hours to live?
No hope of recovery?
Fungal infestation?
Ah!
You're dying!
And here I was being mean to you for the past two decades!
Huh?
From here on, I vow to be the best friend you always fantasized I was.
And I swear, I will do anything, anything to make your last day on Earth a happy one.
No, you don't understand!
That's the medical report for my Venus... anything?
Hmm... Space Boy Log.
Stardate, July.
That's the same heavy disruptor fire.
My trusty lieutenant has just beamed back aboard the bridge.
I said my lieutenant has just beamed back aboard!
Why do I gotta wear this?
I just feel stupid!
Johnny, you said you'd play Trip McCoy Galaxy Boy with me!
That means you're Biff Proton, my best friend and trusted first officer!
All right.
Lieutenant Biff What's-His-Name reporting for duty, what are your stupid orders?
Give me a foot rub!
What?
Not a chance, dweeb!
Then prepare to be disciplined!
Oh!
What did you do that for?
I thought Trip and Biff What's-His-Name were friends!
Normally, yes.
But in this episode, my brain has been taken over by evil space crabs!
Well, then I don't wanna... You will be absorbed!
Ah!
Why, you little... Uh-oh!
What am I doing?
Carl's dying and here I am pounding his head into the carpet!
Oh!
I feel cold!
I see a bright light!
Is this the end of Carl Krisavinowitz?
Please, Carl!
Don't die!
I'll make it up to you, I swear I will!
Really?
What size unitard do you wear?
This won't end well.
Come on, Johnny!
Whoa!
I hate it here.
I'm going home!
You can do it, Johnny!
Just pretend you're tiptoeing across a beautiful cloud!
Now come here and be my skating buddy.
How long before you die again?
Just relax and follow my lead.
Spin me, Johnny.
Now lick me.
Whoa!
Hey, Rink Bunny.
Want to join the Johnny Capades?
Oh!
Whoa!
That's it.
I'm out of here.
All right.
I'll be fine.
Oh, my spleen.
Oh, everything's getting dark and pasty.
Come on, Carl.
Quit dying on me.
I'll do whatever it takes.
Okay, follow me.
Carl is my best friend.
He is so smart and nice and a really snappy dresser.
I like Carl very much.
Excuse me, Mr. Motorist.
Would you run me over with your vehicle?
Really, you'd be doing me a favor.
I don't hear you, Johnny.
Right.
Carl is so great.
He is the sun and we are the planets.
He has a very pleasant singing voice.
Excuse me, Mr. Construction Worker.
Would you please Bury me alive?
I'll give you a dollar.
You forgot to mention that I'm an excellent conversationalist.
I don't get it, Carl.
We've been doing this for hours.
Shouldn't you be dead by now?
Any minute now.
In the meantime, keep proclaiming your devotion to me.
Do I have to?
Oh, the tunnel.
I see the tunnel.
C is for the coolest guy I know.
A is for the awful way I treat him.
R is for his really neat bug collection.
I is for the love of humanity.
Somebody put me out of my misery.
I can't stand it anymore.
I can't stand it.
Great news, Carl.
Your Venus flytrap's gonna live after all.
Huh?
That's great, Pops.
Ixnay on the eye trap fly.
Yes, sir.
Three helpings of my loose meat special and the little feller was as good as new.
I guess that fancy medical report was just a big load of bunk.
That report was about a stupid plant.
Oh, my spleen.
I mean, my tooth.
This hangnail's no picnic.
I like you better than people.
Look out.
Oh, mama.
A bad...
Moosehead.