One, two, three, ha!
Way there.
Sassy.
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Ow!
Yeah, whatever.
Oh, Scotland, the birthplace of Clan Bravo.
The smell of the Heather as it wafts over the Hebrides runs deep in the Bravo blood.
But, Mama, I thought you said we were Polish.
Oh, that was just to get us into blint's night at the VFW Hall.
Now I'm going to look up your great-aunt Fiona.
You go mingle and enjoy the local color, my boy.
All right, Mama.
Haggis, get your haggis.
Get it while it's oily and filled with lumps.
I'll take some haggis.
Hurry, you daft man.
You got to let it breathe.
Here, dry the sample before I kick your teeth in.
Well?
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
What a delightful concoction of...
Say, what's this stuff made of, anyway?
What's it made of, yes.
What's in a haggis?
If you were to go and sign some haggis, what would you find there?
Look, forget I asked.
Just give me a pound.
Done.
Thanks.
Now to go eat it by the pretty lake.
By the lake?
Ah, come on.
Do you mean to say you're gonna have a picnic
by the dreaded shores of the Loch Ness itself?
Anything wrong with that?
No, nothing.
Even if you survive.
It's a tasty treat.
And I hope it doesn't gag us.
Look out, stomach, here comes the haggis.
Now, how the heck do you eat it?
I guess I'll start by gnawing on the sack.
Huh?
No!
Hey, that's my lunch.
You long-neck picnic-crashin' freak of nature.
Ow.
You are in for it now, you overgrown sea monkey.
No one steals Johnny's haggis.
Today, this experimental sub will uncover the truth behind the Loch Ness mon... Oh!
Excuse me, national emergency.
Coming through.
Submerging.
My haggis.
Forget it, ugly.
Johnny's got you outclassed in brain power.
Now, tell you what.
Find the haggis, and you can keep it.
Find the pretty lady.
Uh, you wanna try for two out of three?
Where's the pretty lady?
Show me the pretty lady.
No one walks away a loser.
He-ha!
Uh, how about 17 out of 192?
Don't worry, my delicious friend.
Johnny'll save ya.
Prehistoric reptiles are suckers for haunting renditions of Danny Boy.
Stay away, crazy dinosaur coming!
Do your worst!
Beastie!
We'll fight to our dying breath!
Whoopsies!
Time to reapply our makeup!
You'll never get my haggis!
Of course, it's a good size.
It could easily feed, too.
You gotta help me.
She wants my haggis!
Aye, I don't blame you for giving battle.
The stomach, liver, and lungs of a sheep mixed with
suet and seasonings is well worth fighting for!
Hey, you!
You mean to tell me I was about to eat a disgusting sack of animal parts?
Oh, stop!
You're making me mouth water!
You'll mess it!
Knock yourself out!
I think she likes you a lot.
No, really.
That's okay.
You can go back to the lake now.
I'm serious.
Goodbye, Fiona!
And thanks for the plaid supportos!
Oh!
Oh, my!
Oh, dear!
Johnny!
Uh, Mama?
You know how you always said I could have a cat?
Here, Mama.
Happy birthday!
Johnny!
My birthday was three months ago!
Ah.
Well then, happy take your chimp to work day.
That doesn't exist, dear.
Well, today must be some sort of special day.
Hmm, let's see.
Well, it is four years ago today that I had my neck flap reduction.
Happy neck flap reduction day, Mama.
Thank you, darling.
You're so sweet.
Oh!
Merciful heavens!
Mama!
What's happening?
You're puffing up and turning purple!
So, what time's dinner?
I'm sorry, Mama.
I didn't know you were allergic to schmutz weed.
Johnny, while I'm in bed, you're the man of the house.
Wiggy!
Can I play with the power tools?
No!
We're firepuff girls so sweet and true and always wear a.
smile.
Oh, good grief, I forgot.
Today's my turn to be den mother to Susie's buttercup troop.
Don't worry, Mama.
We can just hide in the crawl space till they go away.
No, Johnny.
Today's youth needs our guidance.
I'm afraid you're going to have to take my place as den mother.
Never!
Then you can spend the day turning me to prevent bed sores.
All right, look, Mama's sick today so I'm in charge of you delinquents.
Now drop and give me 40!
Go, go, go!
Johnny, if you're going to be a den mother, you have to wear the uniform.
That ain't gonna happen.
Mrs. Bravo, Johnny won't wear the uniform!
Put it on, Johnny!
Aw, Mama.
Okay, I know you're all laughing at my pretty bonnet, so let's get this over with.
I brought these lumps of coal for you to squeeze in the diamonds.
Now get busy!
And I don't want to hear any, ooh, the sharp edges make my hands hurt.
Johnny, this isn't what we do at these meetings.
It's not?
Then what the heck do you do?
Well, sometimes we raise money for charity.
All right, then go have one of them yard sale thingies.
But Johnny, what are we gonna sell?
No!
Ah!
Get your hands off of me, you darn dirty-eight!
Johnny!
Johnny, wake up!
One hand may I say.
Ah!
Lawgiver!
Ow.
Look, Johnny.
We raised over $16 at the yard sale you suggested.
Cool.
Gimme that.
Charity begins with Johnny.
That's fair.
After all, your squint Ringo memorabilia was our hottest seller.
Oh, well, glad I could help out.
No!
Look, kid.
I believe that's my squint Ringo doll with kung fu action.
Nuh-uh.
It's mine.
I paid three bucks for it.
Look, son.
Don't make me assert my authority as an adult.
Now, hand it over.
Ha!
I'm gonna assume you did that by accident.
Okay, now I'm getting angry.
Did you get your stuff back, Johnny?
I don't wanna talk about it.
Isn't it time for you girls to go home?
No, Johnny.
Mrs. Bravo always takes us on a fun outdoorsy field trip.
Oh, yeah?
Why don't you go take a long walk off of... Johnny!
Yes, mama.
Okay, here we are.
You kids go play.
But, Johnny, this is a construction site.
No!
Think of it as a really fun amusement park.
Now, go play on the bumper cranes or on those really fun wrecking balls.
But, Johnny!
Oh, yeah.
And the Nobel Prize in Physics goes to...
Dr. Johnny Bravo.
Thank you very much.
You know they laugh when I said a single spot could power an entire nation.
Oh, no!
It's gone critical!
Please clear the blast area.
Building destruction commences in 15 seconds.
Last area?
Oh, no!
Where are the girls?
We must be playing inside that building.
Hang on, girls!
Johnny will save you!
Susie, would you like to push the plunger?
Thank you, Mr. Foreman.
Thanks, Alexis.
Why don't you tell our contestants what they've won?
Oh!
Hi, Mrs. Bravo!
Girls, girls!
How was your day?
Did you make lots of pretty arts and craft projects?
Uh-huh!
Johnny!
I don't know what hurts more, my pride or my fractured tibia.
Here's your ID bracelet.
Here's a compass in case you get lost.
Mama!
I'm just going next door to borrow a cup of sugar.
Mrs. Crowman?
Open up!
It's me!
Johnny!
Ah, Dr. Debbie, Kung-fu medicine woman.
Fists of carnage.
Hands of healing.
Great scuff.
My pizza sense is tingling!
Spinky, no wait!
Ah!
Ribs, crack it.
Flesh racerating.
Kids, don't try this at home.
Ah!
Oh, mama!
Hi, Johnny.
Want some gauze to stop the hemorrhaging?
Leave me alone, geek boy.
I'm suffering from pizza deprivation.
Okay.
Hey, look what I just bought.
An actual prop from the Trip McCoy Galaxy Boy Show.
It's the time portal from episode 236, The Day the Earth Hiccups.
Ah, you gotta laugh, weed.
Go ahead, don't do it.
It's not real.
Oops.
Hey, quit pushing me around, you dweeb.
The name's not dweeb.
I am Spartacus.
Shut up!
I am Spartacus.
I'm Spartacus.
Hmm.
There's something weird going on around here.
Holy!
Carl's time machine must have really worked.
I'm in Colonial America.
Make way for Caesar's triumphal entry into Rome.
I can't wait to meet Ben Franklin and see his cotton gin.
Ha-ha!
Whoa!
Uh-oh.
Rome.
Birthplace of Republican government.
And really gooey pizza.
Whoa!
Hey, look!
They got a spankies here.
Sweet!
Caesar?
Now to seek to dissolve the Republic and proclaim thyself emperor?
What's up with that?
Does Brutus dare question the imperial throne?
Prepare to meet a tyrant's fate!
Hey, waiter.
Give me a large pepperoni.
No anchovy.
Huh?
An ancient Roman egg bear!
Ah.
He did it.
You have been sent by the gods to save Caesar's life.
Yeah, whatever.
Listen, can I get that large pepperoni to go?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
You amused Caesar, young hero, who shall be the
guest of honor at my coronation banquet tonight.
Casual dress bring a power.
Beach party Roman style.
Huh!
Wedding.
More sun-dried dove beaks, scion of Jupiter.
Yeah, that sounds great.
Could you put it on a pile with some tomato and cheese and hold the stankin'
dove beaks?
What troubles you, young hero?
Well, Caesar, it's like this, okay?
Oh, look!
The plate spinners of Phrygia!
I love these guys!
All right!
Carnival dance!
I'm great at these!
Announcing the Empress Calpurnia!
Caesar... Don't mind if I do.
Hey, Togalicious.
On a scale of one to ten, you're an ex.
Sir!
That's the Empress!
My wife!
What?
I didn't touch her.
In fact, she's kinda ugly.
Not my type at all.
Guards!
Seize him!
Seize him, seize her.
Why don't you just make up your mind?
Take him to the arena.
What?
More entertainment?
Hey, you Romans really know how to party.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You know, I always thought you ancient Romans were a bunch of fig-eating,
grape-juice-swilling yahoos.
But now that you're about to proclaim me a
god, I realize you're not really fig-eating.
Nothing!
Ah!
Gun Kitty!
My Kitty!
Strange!
Oh, what's the matter, little puss?
Could you step on a nasty ol' Thorn?
Here, let me help you.
How sweet.
Finish him!
See that?
He's my friend now, and we refuse to fight for your amusement.
Okay, now that was partly your fault.
Mount Vesuvius is exploding!
What are the odds?
Aw, you big sissies.
What are you afraid of, a little hot lava?
Lava.
Whee!
Johnny, what happened?
You were only gone for a second.
Aw, I ran into a bunch of geeks in bath robes,
and the worst part is I never got my pizza.
Pizza!
Johnny, no!
I hate lunchtime.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Oh, babe!
Mercy!