One, two, three...
Way there.
Sassy.
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Pruniflakes, a great taste of shriveled fruit with flakes.
Johnny, eat like a human being.
Johnny, if you don't chew each bite 54 times, you're liable to get a blood clot.
Mmm, rabble-flavony.
Don't you realize that eating that fast can give a boy a nasty case of...
Merciful mothballs, it's happening.
Don't move, darling.
Mama will save you.
Mama!
I read about this remedy in smothering parent magazine.
Brox.
Better?
Aw, mama.
What am I gonna... do?
Oh, don't worry, sweetie.
Mama's here.
Oh, sh...
Earthquake!
Stuck in cover.
Assume crash positions.
Stop, drop, and roll.
Sorry, sweetie.
I was just trying to scare away your hiccups.
Okay, now you're becoming annoying.
Here's my insurance card.
Go see a specialist at the clinic.
But mama...
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I can't hear you.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Hey, what's this?
Mr. Bravo?
You must be the foxy nurse.
I'm the doctor, Fathead.
Well, Dr. Fathead, I've got a bad case of the...
Whoa.
A guttural obfuscation brought on by gastrointestinal stress?
No, I mean the hiccups.
Where'd you get your degree?
Let's take a look at your x-rays.
The gerbil controls the left side of my body.
And the monkey handles my people skills.
Hmm, right.
Frankly, Johnny, hiccups usually go away on their own, but if it's serious,
you can come back this afternoon for a more thorough examination.
Oh, that's a serious case, all right.
Very serious.
So I'll see you later for our date, uh, appointment.
Total concentration.
Achieve absolute clearness of...
Absolute clearness of... Johnny!
Sorry, Master Hama.
I-I got a bad case of the hiccups.
If you sick, why you come to class?
Why, you see?
I don't want to hear it.
Come with me.
I give you ancient family acupuncture cure for hiccups.
No, Master Hama.
You don't understand.
I wanna keep my...
Hama's style of acupuncture, slightly different from traditional method.
Instead of hundreds of tiny needles, I use one big one.
Hmm, insurance must not cover holistic healing.
Hi, Johnny.
What do you think you're doing, you ribbon-wearing she-witch?
I'm trying to scare away your hiccups.
Mrs. Bravo told me about your problem, so I thought I'd try to cure you.
You cure me?
Haha, that's a laugh.
Hey, wait a minute.
I'm not hiccuping anymore.
No need to thank me, Johnny.
Thank you?
Now, I'll never get a date with Dr. Fathead.
But I thought... Later, little girl.
I gotta get my hiccups back.
Come on, hiccups!
Hey, alright!
I got my hiccups back.
Huh?
Hey, Pops.
What's with the goofy outfit?
Heard all about your problem, Johnny.
But don't worry, this hiccup cure's been in my family for generations.
No, Pops.
You don't understand.
I wanna keep my...
Oh no, wait.
This cure isn't for hiccups.
It's for massive cardiac infarctions.
The family cure for hiccups is a gentle flick across the nose.
My hiccups.
I can't fail my hiccups.
Oh, they're gone alright.
And to keep you from eating too fast in the future,
I've whipped up this nifty little dental device.
Ah!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Carl, let me borrow your groceries.
Gee, Johnny.
I didn't know you were such a big fan of slug kibble.
Slug kibble.
I'm just coming from the garden supply store.
Would you like some fish amulsifier to wash it down?
Why, you little... Hey, I got my hiccups back.
Oh, I know a cure for hiccups.
Hold your breath, stand on your head, and hum the
Ecuadorian national anthem while I count backwards from 90.
Now to get home and hide into my doctor's appointment.
Ha!
So, Dr. Fathead, I've still got my hiccups.
So I guess you'll be wanting to... examine me now?
That's right, Johnny.
And because your case is so serious, I'll have to take some extraordinary measures.
Oh, mama!
Oh, yeah.
Huh?
Yeah, that's my patented scare cure for hiccups.
Go ahead, say something.
I'm sickened and dismayed.
Hey, my hiccups are gone.
Works every time.
So I'll just bill your insurance and... Hey, baby.
Why don't you lose old Dr. Fathead and go out with me Saturday night?
I'll treat you right.
No wonder people are losing faith in our healthcare system.
So I'll call you.
Hey, Sonny.
Can you help me out here?
What's up, old timer?
I'm trying to warn swimmers about the dangerous riptines.
No problem.
It was on the U.S.S.
we hunted.
Nineteen forty-eight.
Oh, and saw the riptides coming.
Four hundred men went into the drink.
Nine come out.
No kidding.
Were you on that boat?
No.
But I saw a program about it on the Discovery Channel.
We did.
Well, I'm gonna go swimming now.
Farewell and adieu, ye fair Spanish names.
Hey, you guys know where I can catch a taxi around here?
Whoa!
So you see, the undersea world is a vibrant tableau of peace and Serenity.
Hey, check out the abundant sea life and all my happy tourists.
There's only one explanation.
I've discovered the lost city of Atlantis.
Oh, mama.
She must be queen of Atlantis.
If I marry her, I'll be her king.
Then I can get all the free shrimp I want.
Congratulations, baby.
You're Johnny's catch of the day.
Excuse me, I'm in the middle of a show here.
Never mind that, little mama.
How about making me the mahi-mahi on your seafood platter of love?
Ah, good doggie.
Johnny has a yummy for you.
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
Come on now, put me down.
Whoa!
Watch the hair.
This ain't funny.
Whoa!
I'm sorry, I'm already in a relationship.
Dolphins are the ocean's most intelligent creatures, as I'll demonstrate by hooking
Splashy here up to this transmitting device.
Aha!
There's my little sea nymph.
So, what's it like being a dolphin, Splashy?
Happy.
Fun.
Fish.
And how can nonlinear equations be expressed as
a function of trans-dimensional time and space?
Trick question.
Second law of thermodynamics negates possibility of a static universe.
Fish.
So, she's impressed by keen intellect.
Ha!
I'll show her I'm smarter than some stupid dolphin.
Hey, I'm smart too!
Come on, ask me anything.
Who are you?
Wait.
Wait, I know this one.
Um... City Library bestows this card on Johnny Bravo!
That's me!
Thank you!
Thank you very much.
Hey, that's my fish!
Get your own, you bottlenose dork!
That's it!
It's go time!
Whoa!
Ooh!
Put me down!
Come on, this ain't quite... Ooh, that's not dolphin safe!
Whoa!
When antagonized, each of these electric eels
can deliver a bolt of up to 50,000 volts.
When I'm king of Atlantis, you guys are gonna be in so much trouble.
Now, let's see.
Where'd my queen get to?
Oh, no!
Those sharks have imprisoned her in their underwater jail!
I'll save you, your majesty!
No need will take me.
Oh,
no!
It's a twenty-footer!
Twenty-five!
Three tons on them!
Oof!
It's a twenty-footer!
Twenty-five!
Thank you!
Skippy.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, now, back off.
I saw her first.
Atlanta stinks!
In the eternal quest for love, we are alone.
Cast adrift in a star-strewn universe.
Finish.
What happens when an idiot meets his echo?
I'm pretty.
I'm prettier.
No, I'm prettier.
I am.
You're dumb.
I know you are, but what am I?
Oh, he's good.
Oh, isn't Nordic Town great?
Look at all the fancy cheeses I bought.
Lutefisk, Danish Fjord, Lingenberry, Ingebrotzen,
Meatball Swirl, Reindeer Milk, Herring Whiz.
Look, I'm going back to the car.
You want to ride home?
Be there in 40 seconds.
Okay.
That leaves me just enough time to pick up a tube of duty-free sturgeon.
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
If you weren't for buying this bag of Scandinavian
jalapenos, this whole day would be a bust.
Stop!
You are the chosen one.
Hey, little guy.
Here's my ticket.
I have the blue pinto.
He who would pluck the hammer of Thor from the
icy glacier will receive the power of a god.
Uh-huh.
Maybe you didn't understand me.
I said I have the blue pinto.
Are you a scaredy-pants?
What?
No man calls Johnny Bravo a scaredy-pants.
Step aside, Tiny.
Huh!
Ha!
Huh!
Rig!
Enjoy the power of Thor!
Here's our helpline if you have any questions.
Johnny, you look just like a Norse god!
Where did you get that outfit?
Look, let's just get the car and get out of here.
This place is creepy.
Uh-oh.
Looks like we're all boxed in.
Here, step aside.
Ah-ha!
Johnny, look at you.
You have the strength of a hundred men.
What the heck is going on here?
Whoever gave you that costume must have mysteriously granted you the power of four.
You mean I'll be able to talk to fish?
No, no, no.
You have amazing strength and the power to command the elements.
Really?
Hmm.
Now we can use your new powers to save puppies
and visit sick children and feed the hungry and...
Of course, if you have a better idea.
Being a god rocks!
Now to use my powers recklessly and talk to fish.
Ooh.
Mythic-y.
Tremble not, mortal.
I am Brumhilda of the Valkyries.
I would speak with he who wields the power of Thor.
And I would play the lip fiddle with the chick and the bison horns.
Just not with me, bulky one.
I have been sent by Odin to... I know, I know.
You've been sent by the gods to be my wife.
So listen up.
I like my eggs over easy.
Don't bother me while I'm watching wrestling.
And most of all, give me my space, baby.
Away!
Fly, Tingblad!
Away!
Oh, Father Odin, I have returned with the Chosen One.
Father?
Nothing happened.
We're just friends.
She tried to kiss me.
I said no!
Oh, no.
You got the wrong idea.
You see, here's the thing.
Every century or so, some young fella like
yourself pulls the hammer out of the glacier.
And is invited to join the company of immortals.
Sweet.
Our talents have finally been recognized.
I suppose now I get to eat, drink, fight all
day, and get pampered by gorgeous Viking chicks.
No!
Here's the phone here!
Oh, heavens!
You have to fight Chip, the horrible frost giant.
Oh, yeah, he's a bad one.
Ate all your predecessors.
Yeah, sure did.
Swallowed them whole.
Didn't even bother to chew.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
No chewing involved.
Right.
So listen, it's been great hobnobbing with you gods and all,
but I gotta get home and, uh, not get killed by a giant.
Yeah, okay.
You have a nice trip now.
Bye-bye.
Ah!
Reverend Hilda, have you been sent to help me?
No, I'm here to carry back your lifeless body.
Ah, well, look forward to working with you.
So, where are we?
We are in Needleheim, a dark realm where no one has anything nice to say about anybody.
Is that true?
Kiss my pointy ears.
Here's where you're going to fight the horrible frost giant to the death.
Okay, here's why that's not gonna happen.
A, he'll hurt me.
Two, that'll make me scream like a little girl and nobody wants to hear that.
And C...
I know!
I'll fling my magic hammer at him!
Ha!
Take that, you oversized Popsicle!
You know, you're a very handsome frost giant.
It was her idea!
I-I didn't even want to come here!
She made me!
No!
Looks like this is the end.
I wish I had time for a last meal.
Hey, I still got those jalapenos.
Mmm, jalapeño-y!
Mmm!
I'm being digested!
Oh-ho!
The gooey juices!
Ah-ho!
Huh?
Ah!
Johnny, you did it!
You defeated the horrible frost giant!
That's right!
Now, how about a little post-battle lip-lock?
Oh!
So, I hear you defeated the frost giant.
That's right!
So, I guess that means I get to eat, drink, and be pampered by Viking chicks.
Well, normally, yeah.
But the thing is this.
You're a doofus.
And I'm afraid the gods cannot buy the doofus.
Well, of all the... You guys are just a bunch of
rogue-wearing, wing-headed lightning-flinging-throne joties!
Did I mention you all have very lovely speaking voices?
Being Thor stinks!
To learn more about Norse mythology, visit your local library!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Hey!