One, two, three!
Way there!
Assassin!
Man, I'm pretty!
Do the monkey with me!
Come on!
Hey there, baby!
Yeah, whatever.
It's no good, Chimplord!
Biff Proton would never fall for the old ray gun and the banana trick.
Oh, no!
How's Biff gonna get out of this one?
What the?
Hey, Johnny, guess what?
Guess what?
Give me that.
Guess what?
Come on, mute!
Mute!
The new line of Mrs. Kensington doll accessories comes out today.
Will you take me to the toy store?
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please!
How about we go to the post office and I air mail you to Borneo?
You're right, Johnny.
Toy stores are stupid.
Who'd want to go there?
Ha!
Nice try, little girl.
But I'm too smart to fall for the old reverse psychology routine.
That's right.
You'd never fall for the old reverse psychology routine.
Oh, wouldn't I?
Well, we'll just see about that.
Come on, Missy, we're going to the toy store.
No, we're not.
Quiet!
How did I get here?
Look, it's Midlife Crisis, Mrs. Kensington, with hot flashing action.
Oh!
I'm out of here.
There's nothing worse than a store full of whining babies and their stupid toys.
The pro-time virtual reality game?
Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!
Caution.
This game is so real, players may confuse fantasy with reality.
I think we all know that's not gonna happen.
Whoa!
I'm in space!
How did I get here?
It's Lord Morlock's hidden fortress of sniffiness, just like on TV.
Maybe there'll be pizza.
Let's see.
Biff always uses his plasma-powered karate chops in these situations.
Ready!
Sir, what are you doing?
Aha!
Targon tracks!
They always march in single file to hide their numbers.
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Huh?
Lord Morlock!
I thought I smelled your foul stench.
I've been waiting for you, Biff.
When we last met, I had a learner's permit.
Now I do the driving.
Oh, yeah?
Have at me then, mouth-breathing evil guy!
I warn you, Morlock, my skills with the lightsaber are keen and deadly.
Cool special effects, huh?
Dib him, you bucket-headed weenie!
I give up!
Liar!
TARGON commanders never dib up!
Dib his job!
Feel like-Quack!
Now give me back the game!
I did not destroy your second cousin, Biff.
I am your second cousin!
NOOOOON!
The stupidity is strong in that one.
Oh!
Ow.
Power cells low.
Must escape.
Ah, my fusion-powered surfboard.
With alien valet parking.
Thanks, here's a nickel.
Mid-Proton, away!
Hey!
That goofy guy stole my wagon.
What's this world coming to?
Huh?
Tregelian stink bits.
Their odor is legend.
Get away, you stink bomb!
Hey, watch it.
You're gonna take someone's eye out.
A black hole.
Maybe I can lose them.
To space, and then some!
It might be time to visit the planet of vitally needed medical services.
Help me, Biff Proton.
You're my only hope.
It's Biff's girlfriend, Princess Sandy.
Help me, Biff.
You're my only hope.
Don't worry, Sandy.
I'll save you.
I don't know, Pops.
Aren't otters an endangered species?
Relax, it's delicious.
Tastes just like bald eagle.
Hey, I mean, uh, chicken.
Emperor Ping.
I might have suspected.
Hot ham, the Princess.
What the heck's wrong with Johnny?
He's got a Biff Proton virtual reality visor.
He sees you as the evil Emperor Ping, and me
as the beautiful imprisoned Princess Sandy.
Get that stupid thing off him before he makes a fool of himself.
I wanna play, I wanna play.
Save me, Biff, save me.
All right, Ping, you asked for it.
Prepare for my plasma-powered karate chop of justice.
Oh, Biff, you're injured.
I know, Sandy, but it was worth it to try and save you.
Rest easy, my handsome warrior.
We'll be together now, forever, forever, forever.
Johnny?
Are you okay, Johnny?
Oh!
Wow!
Man, Carl.
Oh!
I may never stop bathing.
Ha!
I guess his battery pack must have run out.
Here, let me recharge him.
This is getting pretty entertaining.
Freeze, wagon thief.
You'd better come with us, son.
No!
Destroy our cyborgs!
Stand by, I'll tackle him.
Yaah!
Uh-uh-uh-uh!
Bar of war!
I have seen the future.
And it hurts.
Whoa!
Ha-ha, Man-Bean.
This miso broth will stop you.
You forget crimson legume.
Frothy marinades only make me stronger.
Curse you, Man-Bean.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la.
Hi, Johnny.
Oh, oh, oh.
You've got the latest issue of Man-Bean.
The bean that walks like a man.
He's my favorite vegetable-baked superhero.
Can I read it after you?
I-I wasn't reading it.
I was just looking at the pictures and following along with the words a little bit.
Besides, comic books are for geeky, thin-wristed little dweebs like you.
Oh, yeah, Mr. Smarty Pants?
Then how come a mint-conditioned first issue of Man-Bean...
The bean that walks like a man.
sells for thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.
Maybe that's because squeaky-voiced little sea-monkeys like you are...
Did you say thousands?
Excuse me.
Man-Bean away!
Mama always told me to stay out of the attic
because of the menacing presence that lurks here.
She never lets me do anything.
Get down!
Hmm.
Must be squirrels.
If I can just find that comic, I'll be rich.
I know it's in here someplace.
Yes!
Man-Bean number one.
The scent of bean curd.
With the money I'll make from this comic, I can buy a worm colony.
And some more comics.
Hey!
My comic!
That's eerie.
Scary.
Terrifying!
But it's got a nice beat.
Whoa!
Ooh!
Get out!
It's almost as if someone's trying to tell me something.
Whoa!
Johnny, I saw the whole thing.
You have a ghost in your attic.
Don't be a stupid baby.
There's no such thing as ghosts.
Boom!
Carl, I got a ghost in my attic.
Help me!
Help me, please!
Don't worry, Johnny.
I've been preparing for this day for a long time.
I don't remember the costumes in the movie being quite so, um, colorful.
Everything in this uniform is designed to precise ghost-capturing specifications.
Besides, this is the only one of my mom's
dresses she'd let me cut up to make costumes.
Now, here's the plan.
You flush the ghost out while I wait down here to blast him with my particle beam.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm going up there and show that ghost who's boss.
Be careful!
All right, ghost.
I don't like you, and you don't like me.
So let's settle this once and for all.
Of course, I could learn to like you.
Sounds like everything's going according to plan.
Good work, Johnny.
Keep him busy while I charge my particle beam.
Last 20 more seconds.
Shouldn't be long now.
Forget this!
I'm gonna blast him myself.
Okay, Johnny, stand aside.
Okay, crossing the beams is a bad idea.
Well, did we at least get him?
I didn't do it.
A poltergeist.
Oh, I knew this day would come.
Boys, you have to be nice to the denizens of the spirit world.
Don't worry, Mom.
I'll take care of everything.
Hear me.
Oh, spirit.
Show yourself.
That's right, you yellow-bellied little ectoplasmic dweeb.
Quiet, Johnny.
Ooh!
Hello, bunny.
Lou!
Oh, I thought it might be you.
Johnny, say hello to your uncle Lou.
He rented the attic apartment from me back in the seventies.
Well, make him give me back my comic book.
It's worth thousands.
Sure, Johnny.
You can have it back.
Not quick enough.
Give it back, you old coot.
No way!
It's mine now.
What?
Just cause I'm a ghost, I can't have nice things?
I've had enough of this.
Give me that comic.
Johnny, Lewis, break it up.
You're acting like a couple of hooligans.
Lou, it's time for you to give up worldly things.
Walk toward the lights, Louie.
I guess you're right, bunny.
It's time I moved on to a higher plane.
But I'm taking the comic.
Hey!
Johnny!
Mrs. Bravo, Johnny's disappeared into that ectoplasmic portal.
If we don't get him back soon, he might be stuck in there forever.
Hold on tight, Carl.
I'm going in after him.
Johnny, sweetie!
Mama, Mama, Mama!
Where are you?
I'm here, here, here!
Oh, there you are.
I want to go home, home, home!
Stop talking like that, it's creepy.
Oh, sorry.
Take my hand, darling.
I want to go home, darling.
I got you, darling!
Cool!
Oh,
you did it, Mrs. Bravo!
You brought Johnny back from the afterworld!
Huh?
Who are you?
I'm Marie Antoinette.
You wouldn't happen to have an aspirin.
Then where's Johnny?
Hey, can I read one of them comics when you're done?
No!
Sheesh!
Who knew ghosts were so touchy?
What happens when an idiot meets his echo?
I'm pretty.
I'm prettier.
No, I'm prettier.
I am!
You're dumb!
I know you are, but what am I?
Oh, he's good.
Hey!
Dadgummit!
Master new-fingered one-armed son of a skunk.
Hey, jukebox.
Huh?
I didn't do it.
She did it.
Ask anyone.
Mama, can I have some more money for the jukebox?
Quiet, Johnny.
I'm about to buy us a one-way ticket to Easy Street.
Your play, fat man.
That's Fatman.
Colonel Beauregard Fatman.
I see your 50 and raise you 500 more.
Oh, dear.
I'm afraid I've run out of things to bet.
Mama, walk away.
Remember what happened at the dog track.
I call.
Mama, you can't bet me.
I'm your own son.
Don't worry, Johnny.
With this hand, I can't lose.
Read him and weep, Fatman.
A paraphrase.
Impressive, but I'm afraid I have five kings.
What?
Oh, this is poker.
Sorry, darling.
Mama will miss you.
Pagba, crate the boy and start fueling the plane.
Young man, you are now the property of Colonel Beauregard Fatman.
Oh, Mama, do something.
Don't worry, sweetie.
Mama won't rest until you're back safe at home.
Oh, free buffet.
Welcome to my little island paradise, Johnny.
You're probably wondering why I brought you here, yes?
Not really.
Are you frightened?
Got me snacks.
Tell me, Johnny.
Do you enjoy games?
Ah, maybe.
I find there's nothing like a good challenge to get the blood up.
Intellect versus intellect.
Cunning versus cunning.
Is this going somewhere?
Yes, Johnny.
We're going to play a little game of hide and seek.
You're kind of weird, aren't you?
Yes, but I am also fair.
You will be supplied with enough provisions to last 24 hours.
Although, I doubt you can evade me for that long.
Can I have a biscuit to sop this up?
Ah, converting your food shares into fat so you can travel life ingenious.
Yeah, whatever.
Hey, by the way, what's that empty plaque on your wall for?
That, that is the one prize that has eluded me all my life.
But that will change soon enough.
Suddenly, it all makes sense.
Well, you'll never catch me, you fiend.
The stench of life is too sweet.
I will survive freedom!
And so, Johnny Bravo, our little game of hide and seek begins.
Click, click.
No fair, you peaked.
I get a do-over.
Johnny, may I make a suggestion?
Perhaps the dense jungle forest might afford you better concealment.
You know, you have a lovely speaking voice.
I don't get it.
Why would someone want to hunt me for sport and put my head on the wall?
Whoa!
Oh, that's right.
I'm pretty.
I've made a horrible miscalculation.
I've worn the green sock with my argyle.
And I've been leaving a trail of footprints.
Wait, I have an idea.
Am I smart or what?
Oh!
Hey, you're pretty quick for a tubby guy.
I was hoping you'd be a more challenging prey, Johnny.
Fleeing through the jungle clearly isn't your strong suit.
Perhaps if you try to camouflage.
No thanks, I don't use Cologne.
No, I mean disguising yourself to blend in with your natural surroundings.
I don't think so.
Karate!
Okay, we'll do it your way.
Okay, I'm camouflaged.
Excellent.
Now the game begins in honest.
Careful, Johnny.
Remain perfectly still.
I went that-a-way.
Oh!
Look, let me make this easier.
Here is a map of ingenious hiding places on the island.
Just pick one.
I won't look.
Hmm.
This waterfall might be a good place.
No, no, don't tell me.
Look, just go to the other end of the island.
I'd never think of looking for you there.
Or would you?
Just go.
I shall count down from 100.
100, 99, 98, 3, 2, 1, zero.
Ah!
That's it!
I've had just about enough!
No!
Don't do it!
I wanna live!
What are you talking about?
I'm just giving you a plane ticket off the island.
Really?
You mean you're not gonna mount my head on that empty space on your wall?
Ha!
Heavens no!
Oh, that space is reserved for the best in show prize for my cat, Mr. Pippins.
Johnny!
Mama!
Well, I did some research and it turns out there are only four kings in a poker deck.
Very astute of you.
My apologies, madam.
I find the cheating lincest to most games of John's.
Nice try, Lord Butt.
Oh, my... Oh, dear!
Oh, Catherine, help me!
It increases me!
Sweetheart, can you ever forgive me for wagering you?
Sure, Mama.
Besides, I think we've all learned a valuable lesson here today.
Johnny!
I need you to take out the garbage!
She'll never find me.
Look out!
Hello!
Bop, bop!
Mama!
Oh, babe!
Mercy!