One, two, three, go!
Way there.
Sassy.
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Sweet.
Hey, pops.
Dollar chili and keep it coming.
Sorry, Jenny.
We're closing up early tonight.
Really?
Why?
Where are you going?
We were gonna go... Chase Butterflies.
Not chase butterflies.
We've got to see...
What's his name?
Over at...
The place!
Right!
The place!
Strange squirrely behavior.
Secret handshakes.
They must be going to meet Danish chicks.
I'm gonna follow them.
The sum of the whole is equal to the square of the parts.
I like pie.
By the all-seeing eye of the seventh sun, we
are one with the flaky crust of all that is.
For we are the brotherhood of the canoe.
Oh, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go!
Okay, cider's ready.
Here, brother.
Quaffed deep from the elixir of fellowship.
Thanks.
So, uh... then do the Danish chicks show up, you betcha.
He's Danish!
Get him!
Get off of me, you GNU hat-wearing yahoos.
Johnny, what are you doing in our secret lodge meeting?
Don't hurt me.
Too late, Johnny.
You've witnessed the secret rituals of the Grand High Order of the GNU.
According to our ancient bylaws, we're going to have to erase your mind.
Vetch me the Fez of forgetfulness.
Sorry, Johnny.
This is gonna sting a little.
Wait, Pops, no!
Why don't we just let Johnny join the lodge?
You can't join the GNU's unless a loved one is a member.
I love Johnny.
He's like a brother to me.
Johnny, do you love Carl?
Well, if by love you mean a sick feeling of nausea and revulsion, then yes.
Welcome to the herd, son.
Sweet.
Bring on the Danish chicks and cream soda.
I'm afraid it's not that easy, Johnny.
First, you have to undergo the secret ritual of initiation.
For your first task, you must prove strength of character
and self-control by eating just one potato chip.
No problem.
Mmm.
Reset.
Brother Hank, care for a handful of...
Give me those chips!
Oh.
Restartin'.
Right.
Time to erase his memory.
Wait, Pops.
Can't we give him one more chance?
I'm sorry, Carl, but the immutable laws of the Gnu's explicitly state that...
Ah, crud.
Give him another shot.
Now, Johnny, you must prove you'll be a patient and considerate Gnu by listening
to Brother Ernie's long, boring story about a couch he and his wife bought.
Sounds easy enough.
All right, old-timer.
Let her rip!
Well, Johnny, as you may or may not know, my wife and I have always liked catalogs.
Make it stop!
I can't take it anymore!
So, when we decided to buy a couch...
He...
It was horrible, Pops.
His eyes were all black and... and dead like a doll's eyes.
Say goodbye to the brain.
I invoke the Kunitha!
Oh, the Kunitha.
Not the Kunitha!
What's the Kunitha?
Only the most dangerous and perilous ritual we have.
If you survive it, you become an instant brother!
Will it wash my hair?
No.
Let it be done!
Let the ritual begin!
Oh!
Hey!
Come on!
Wash the hair now, you see... Oh!
Oh!
What a pretty flower.
Yeah.
Hey, that's not funny.
Oh, hi.
Nice to meet you.
Well, don't mind if I do.
Well done!
Oh!
You got something on your shirt.
Oh, really?
Congratulations, son!
You are now a member of the Brotherhood of the Gnu!
Bring on the Danish Chicks and Cream Soda!
Debbie Chang, Channel 5 News.
Pops, is it true you're the head of a super-secret
cult that worships wildebeest and screams at the bone?
How did you get in here?
I invited them, Pops.
Come on, Debbie, let me show you around.
That's the Fez of Forgetfulness, and over there is Carl's Stupid Gong.
And there's Brother Ernie.
He's a powerful and boring wizard.
We like root beer and Danish chicks, and our secret password is I like pie.
I hereby disband the Brotherhood of the Gnu!
And replace it with the Order of the Marmoset!
All those wishing to join must beat the zap out of Johnny!
Oh, I don't like this, Brother!
Ooh, ooh!
Get the press of anesthesia, that's got...
Ooh, that is gonna leave a Mark right there!
Lots of hair!
Ooh!
Oh, man, I wanna be a Marmoset, really!
Ooh!
Oh, no!
Deep beneath the city lies the hidden fortress of the green swoosh!
Defender of freedom!
Friend of the downtrodden!
Bringer of green justice!
Please leave a message after the beep.
Swoosh!
Pick up!
I know your screening!
Yes, yes!
Swoosh here!
What's that?
A meteor headed for the desolate wasteland at the edge of town?
This sounds like a job for...
The green swoosh!
Super boots to me!
Up!
Through!
And around!
999,999,999... One billion!
Hmm.
I wonder where that chick went.
She told me to walk into the desolate wasteland and count to a billion.
Well, I'll give her an extra 500,000.
One... Two...
Five... Deflecting this meteor with my green swoosh
energy will require tremendous concentration!
Hey, green guy!
You seen a chick around here?
Sorry?
A chick, you say?
What did she look...
That's going to leave a green super bruise.
Oh, the horror!
The senseless waste of... Hey, free super boots!
Hey, buddy!
You want to unclench your toes?
Oh!
Great Scott!
Every cell in my body is surging with green super energy!
I've become faster!
Stronger!
Smarter!
The sum of the square root of the side of an isos...
Well, faster and stronger, anyway!
Up!
Around!
Over!
And across!
Aha!
My supervision is detecting chicks now.
And he had the nerve to ask me if it was my original color!
Greetings, citizen Bettys!
I know what you're thinking.
The rays of our yellow sun make him super irresistible.
Excuse me!
We were having a conversation!
So anyway, I told him if that's your attitude, you can just turn right around and.
All right, you twisted my arm.
I'll give you a demonstration of my amazing powers!
It would normally take years for nature to grind
diamonds down into useless crystalline powder.
With my superhuman powers, I can do it with my bare hands!
So, uh... you like Sushi?
Look!
A disabled airplane!
Great Scott!
Looks like a job for a super-powered green boot-wearing guy who... No!
No!
I've diverted a disaster of enormous consequences!
Think of all the tiny peanuts that would have gone to waste!
We're okay!
With great power comes great responsibility!
Mmm!
And free peanuts!
What's this?
My boots are beeping!
And I'm not even backing up!
You're late, Green Swoosh!
You know we can't begin a meeting of the Astounding
League of Super People until everyone's present!
The Astounding League of Super People!
Sweet!
Obviously news of my super feats have reached even your ears!
Uh... yes.
Now if we could just bring this meeting to order!
You obviously wanna make me your leader!
I'll take this chair!
Hey!
You're the She-Hunk!
Hey, bring me some of those Astounding finger sandwiches I've heard about, okay?
She-Hunk not waitress!
Get home sandwich!
Hey!
You got a bit of a temper?
I'd dig that in a lady superhero!
She-Hunk smash!
She-Hunk smash you all!
Break it up, you two!
Man Boy is planning to attack our headquarters!
We've got to prepare for battle!
Battle?
Uh, uh, listen, I have flat feet.
I-I'm not really supposed to go into combat with super villains, so,
uh, I'll just beam back down to Earth till you're finished.
Don't touch that button!
Oh, now I got to!
Good thing there's lots of air in space.
Wait.
No, there isn't.
Feel the wrath of Man Boy, astounding league of superheroes!
Hey, where is everybody?
Uh, I-I wouldn't know.
I'm just the maid, just dusting off with my amazing green super energy boots!
Oops.
So, Green Sloosh, you're the only one who dares face the wrath of Man Boy!
Look, maybe we can sit down and talk us out.
No way!
I'm sick of you adults and your stupid preaching!
You're all a bunch of lame-o's!
All right, I have heard enough out of you, young man!
Your mighty grip is useless against my super foily skin!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Okay, that's it!
You are grounded for, like, a month!
Prepare for a blast from my super cracking voice!
No!
It's like a thousand fingernails scratching against the blackboard of my mind!
Yeah, isn't it cool?
Now, prepare to meet your doom, you big phony!
That'll be enough out of you, young man!
You're not the boss of me!
Oh, no?
You obviously don't appreciate the power of my super sensible shoes!
Power up!
Ow!
The dark!
Whack!
Looks like somebody's going to a federal
penitentiary to think about what they've done!
Mama, I didn't know you were a superhero!
The real heroes are the mothers who cook and clean and raise the children!
And have super sensible shoes to combat evil!
Wiggy!
Can we Rob a bank now?
No!
Attention, astounding super people!
The Clogmaster has escaped from prison!
Come on, darling!
Right, Mama!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm getting a nose ring!
Because you're all stupid!
What happens when an idiot meets his echo?
I'm pretty!
I'm prettier!
No, I'm prettier!
I am!
You're dumb!
I know you are, but what am I?
Oh, he's good.
Oh, Marsha Rafe, you dropped my low heart bed.
Monsters!
Monsters from the air!
Oh, sweetie, are you still having those nightmares?
It was horrible, Mama.
It was seven feet tall.
It was scales and horrible, dead eyes.
Oh, it must have been a terrible dream to scare you so badly.
Well, you can sleep in the chiffonier tonight.
Thanks, Mama.
I mean, I wasn't afraid.
I was just worried that it'd get to you.
Dark!
Johnny's scared!
Should I leave the light on, dear?
Yes.
I'm really worried about Johnny, Susie.
Why?
Has he been chasing cars again?
No, that's just a phase.
I'm talking about his horrible nightmares.
He hasn't slept in weeks.
This cereal tastes terrible!
That's because it's coffee beans and ketchup, dear.
Oh.
Need sugar.
You know, Mrs. Bravo, I have a degree in psychology that I earned over the Internet.
I could psychoanalyze Johnny and find the root of his night terrors.
Lies!
Archduke Ferdinand is wrong!
My claim to the throne is indisputable!
That's it!
I have had it, young man!
You march into the living room and can psychoanalyze this instant.
Oh, so now I suppose a guy can't say that he saw a
scaler seven-foot monster without being called crazy!
Okay, Johnny, why don't we start with a little word association?
Pamela!
Hold on, we haven't started yet.
Pineapple!
Johnny!
Pantaloons!
Stop!
Go!
Shut up!
Mrs. Bravo!
Johnny won't cooperate!
An hour!
Oh, alright.
Take your best shot.
I'll play along, for now.
Good.
Now where were we?
Oh, yes!
Now at what point...
Get out of my head!
How about if we just try some role-playing?
Sounds good.
I'll be me and you be the little girl who walks out the door and leaves me alone.
Why are you so afraid, Johnny?
Well, I'm afraid to love, so when people try to get close, I push them away and...
Talking doll!
Dolls sometimes help us say things we can't say ourselves.
Here, try it.
Well, alright.
Poor Johnny!
He's lonely and has problems with intimacy.
Quiet!
Don't tell her that!
He also sucks his thumb and likes to kiss his pillow and pretends it's girls!
Shut up!
Shut up, I say!
He wants everyone to think he's in control, but at night when monsters come,
he dissolves into panic and runs to his mama like a little baby!
Oh, it's true!
Malibu Tracy is right!
It hurt!
It hurt so much!
Johnny, we've made an important breakthrough!
Good!
Does that mean you're leaving?
Almost, Johnny.
But first, I'd like to try hypnosis.
Now, strong minds can be resistant to the process, so we may have to...
I am under your power.
Well, that was easy.
Let's go back, Johnny.
Back in time.
Dinosaurs!
Not that far back.
Take us to the place of pain where the fears first began.
Hey, bravo!
Give me your lunch money.
Aw, Carl.
Why do you always gotta be so mean?
Because I'm bigger than you and older than you by three weeks.
And it will always be thus.
So it was Carl.
It was all his fault.
I don't think so, Johnny.
I think we need to go back deeper still.
Deeper.
Deeper!
Quiet, Johnny.
Don't cry.
Here.
Mama's made you a baked ham.
There, there, sweetie.
Mama's here.
Mama will never, ever, ever leave you.
Oh, four o'clock?
Oh, it's time for my programs.
I'll just put you in your playpen with all your favorite
toys and shut off the lights so it's nice and cozy.
Whoa!
Monsters!
Monsters from the inn!
Huh?
Johnny, snap out of it!
That's it!
You've done it!
You've uncovered the root of my fears!
How can I ever repay you?
That'll be $130.
You know that annoying girl in the comic strip only charges a nickel.
Nice try.
Well, the important thing is my horrible nightmares are over.
It's him!
It's the monster!
That Mongo!
Down, down, boy!
That's a very bad Mongo.
Sorry, everybody.
Sometimes he gets out at night.
Oh, Carl, best buddy.
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Sure thing, Johnny.
Hey!
No problem.
Want to go get a burger?
Here's your money, Susie.
Thanks to you, everything's back to normal.
Or is it?
Look out!
Huh, huh!
Huh!
Bop, bop!
Whoa!
Mama!
Oh, babe!
Mustai!
Oh, I'm not sorry.