Baby...
Sassy...
Skuddley... Ooh!
Check-a-packs.
Man, I'm pretty.
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
No, no, no!
Yes, yes, yes!
No, no, no!
Want a gummy fruit?
It's been in my pocket so it's soft and warm.
That was great, kid.
I was right there in the movie theater with you and let me tell you, I couldn't
keep my eyes off you from the minute you whooshed in.
Great.
Kid!
You've got that look that appeals to the 18-to 34-year-old demographic.
I'm telling you, you've got pizzazz!
Look, is this gonna take long?
Cause I got me some digits to get on a few Chick-fil-As.
The name's Ramage.
Duck Ramage.
It's like damage with an R.
Bottom line, I'm a big-time Hollywood producer and
I wanna put you in my new Hollywood blockbuster.
Holly who?
It's a taut, psychological, romantic, epic, fantasy, western, dinosaur,
buddy-cop comedy thriller set against the
backdrop of the great lunch lady uprising of 1902.
Did you say something about lunch?
Kid, I'm gonna make you a movie star.
A movie star?
All you have to do is sign right here on this official movie star contract.
Johnny Bravo.
Even your name's got pizzazz!
Here's one bus ticket to Los Angeles.
Here's a map to the studio.
Here's a rare porcelain bus of Martin Van Buren, our eighth president.
And here's your script.
Lunch ladies, surprise.
Your role is that of Nick Dexter.
International arm wrestling tax accountant by day.
Interdimensional cowboy slash psychologist by night.
Hey, there's no pictures in here.
Be at the studio on Monday, 6 A.M.
sharp.
I'll have someone there to meet you.
We'll do lunch!
Seriously, where are all the pictures?
In recognition of your blah, blah, blah, And on behalf of the citizens of
Erran City, who just couldn't be happier that you finally are leaving...
I mean, achieving your dreams, we'd like to present you with this solid bronze.
Piñata?
Oh, mama!
It's like I'm looking in a mirror.
I thought we were doing the statue in Brog's.
Budget charts.
Well, the kids do seem to be enjoying it.
Testing, one, two, three.
I know when I'm gone, you'll be missing out on your daily dose of this.
But don't worry.
I'll never forget all you little people here in Erran City.
Like you!
And him!
And that guy!
Goodbye, mama.
I'm off to get my name in lights.
Please don't go, Johnny.
Who's gonna sing camp songs with me and skip around the maypole?
What are you talking about?
I never did any of those things with you.
Oh, yeah.
Well, okay then.
Bye-bye!
Hooray for Hollywood.
Should I take a seat?
Hi!
You must be Johnny Bravo, the new star of Lunch Lady Surprise.
That's right, my little fox-keteer.
You must be... Whoops!
Was that me?
I'm sorry.
I have a tendency to smack people when they say the wrong line.
Obviously, you haven't memorized your part.
You come in on page 10.
Johnny, why?
Yes, I am.
That's great!
My name's Jessica Beale.
Hooray!
Welcome to Hollywood, Johnny Bravo!
We're your new co-stars on Lunch Lady Surprise.
As you can see, we're all really... A kiss-up!
I'm sorry, what was that?
You heard me.
Alec, we've been over this.
Not everything is about you.
And in less than 10 hours, this world is going to be swarming
in alien arthropods if I don't finish what I started.
Well, I have to take a group of ragtag orphans and turn them into the greatest
goulash makers the world has ever known in less than nine hours.
Oh, the onions!
They burn!
I told you how important my work is to me.
Was that before or after you refused to date me?
How dare you!
Look into my eyes and say that again.
What?
Stampede!
Behold!
The horror mine eyes must endure!
Como puede pasar?
Why?
And cut.
Hi, I'm Alec Baldwin, and I'll be playing your Nemesis in Lunch Lady Surprise.
That was one of the big scenes from the picture.
What do you think?
What the heck are you... You're probably wondering how Alec survived that stampede.
Well, here in Hollywood, they can actually turn your body into rubber.
Check it out!
It's that old Hollywood magic.
I also hope you enjoyed my athleticism.
I've been training for months now.
Watch!
Whoops!
Uh, Mr. Knotts, why don't you take it from here?
Wardrobe!
My name is Don Knotts, and I've still got it.
Toot toot!
Hey!
Beep beep!
So don't cross me, or I'll bring on the smackdown.
Hey, who's the kid with the hairy feet?
I'm a hobbit, which means I'm... And I'm a nondescript dinosaur.
I'm really looking to play against type... as the wacky neighbor...
with a catchphrase!
Hey, that's not how we rehearsed it.
Seriously, love the improv thing.
Hey!
Back off, Mr. Limpet, huh?
Some of us don't have Andy Griffith show residuals to fall back on.
Why, I oughta...
I'm back.
Did I miss anything?
Ow!
Do I still look handsome?
I'll say.
Then, thumbs up.
Speaking of thumbs, isn't there a big toe that we're neglecting here?
Huh?
I agree.
We're here for one purpose and one purpose only.
To welcome Johnny Bravo to Hollywood USA!
Woo!
No, really, you don't have to... Actually, we do.
So you're gonna stand there and like it, Mr. Hey Hey.
Come on now.
You're laces people.
That means you too, wicked.
In a world where hot golden popcorn grows on trees, four sesbians and a dinosaur
have come to welcome you, Johnny Bravo, to what promises to be satisfying.
Like eating French fries for the first time.
Hey, voiceover guy, we're ready.
Now, without further ado, I present to you the Hollywood Welcome Wagon.
Once you were poor, you were nothing to me.
Your life was so dull, a big catastrophe.
But now that you're here, you're so in with the club.
A new movie star, come on and show me the love.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hit me.
Nice hair, nice clothes.
You'll start a trend with nose and glasses.
Good start.
You're stylish, yet you're smart.
You'll be written up in tabloids that you had a day with Cher.
It's a lie.
But then, who cares?
Work it, work it, work it.
I have been a movie star for I don't know how long.
I'm always looking for a role that paints a woman strong.
So if you find a role for her that lets her throw a chair.
I am there.
I am so there.
Goal, man, goal.
Represent.
Now that you're in Hollywood, here's what you can expect.
A lot of people hounding you to pay your ten percent.
Your life is gonna change so fast your head will come ajar.
You're in movies.
You're a star.
I'm fuffy.
I'm cute.
I'm everything you're nude.
I'm... Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on there, Shakira.
Didn't you get the memo?
We had to cut out your part for time.
But... Ah, don't worry, they cut me from plenty of movies in my early days.
It's the good looks, I tell you.
I pull focus.
Oh my gosh, look at the time.
We have a read-through in two minutes.
What do you say you skip your next appointment and the two of us?
Skip my appointment?
Are you crazy?
I live for my work.
Hey, nice swing with the whole... chair thing.
Why, thank you.
I've been training with Sun Lo Kim at the Inner Peace Palladium.
You too?
Matsu Patsu Tissue.
Bye, Johnny.
See you on the set.
You know Sun Lo taught my brother's hairdresser's niece to do the same thing.
Yo, Marty!
What's this I hear about a memo?
Don't be a stranger.
Let's do lunch.
I'll have my assistant Google you.
Uh, huh?
Yes, you must be Johnny Bravo.
Oh, yeah.
And you must be my first groupie.
Feel free to look and touch.
Yeah, he's here.
So, talking to the rest of my fan club?
Johnny Rambo!
Welcome to Hollywood, Bupala!
Do you mind?
I'm trying to make time with Headphone Girl.
Yes, well, you'll have plenty of time for that.
But first things first...
You're fired!
What?
Yes, well, it was great meeting you.
Gotta go.
Time is money!
Wait a second.
But I'm the star of this picture.
Yeah, about that.
We replaced you with a CGI version of Mark Hamill.
I'm ready for my close-ups.
The kids love the computer animation.
Tough break, kid.
Say, do you know where I can get some more gigabytes?
My backside is pixelating.
Wait!
You can't do this to me!
I'm Johnny Bravo!
I'm supposed to be a movie star!
I can't let my mama's dream die.
She's gotta see my name in lights.
I need to find that producer guy.
He'll stream this one.
All right, people, take your seats.
Wonderful.
The tour will begin momentarily.
Hold up!
I don't have time for no tour.
Johnny Bravo's got work to do.
And don't forget to enjoy the complimentary cookies
and imitation orange beverage located below your seat.
Cookies?
Here we are in what appears to be a lovely day at the lake.
But remember, we're in Hollywood.
Things aren't always what they seem.
Hey, cookies!
Please, sir.
No feeding the actors.
You heard the man.
Beat it, Shamu.
Oh, a wise guy, eh?
No respect.
Yes, folks.
That was the famous Jabberjaw from the hit TV series, Jabberjaw.
As you can see, danger and peril lurk around every corner here in Hollywood.
But don't worry.
You're safe with... Wait a second.
How did that volcano get here?
Volcano?
Help!
Oh, peril!
Distress!
Oh, no!
There's a woman on top of that volcano!
Hey, get out of there, bikini-clad lady!
Bikini-clad lady?
Wherever shall I go?
Whatever shall I do?
How's about wrapping your bikini babe arms around my body and hoping for the best?
What?
Who are you?
Johnny Bro...
Will you be quiet?
You're making me lose my motivation!
Is that a good thing?
Because it sounds like it could be.
Katie Conway, you just gotta catch that crow!
I will, Microchippy!
I will!
Or my name isn't Katie Conway...
Crowcatcher!
Cut!
Are you alright?
Never better.
Hey, you're that Katie Conway crowcatching chick
from my favorite show, Katie Conway Crowcatcher!
Well, actually, Katie Conway is just the character I play on the show.
My real name's Tia Carrere.
Hooray!
And I'm... Yeah, whatever, Katie.
And I'm Kevin McDonald...
from Canada.
Good for you.
So, you wanna trade in R2-D2 here for a more macho model?
Ha!
You can try...
to get by...
but I'm still gonna trap ya.
Right.
Security!
Amazing.
Hey!
Big time producer guy!
You remember me?
Copy machine!
You've got the guns!
You've got moxie!
You've got pizazz!
And who doesn't love paper?
Kid, you're gonna be the next big shot!
Hey!
Hey, what about me?
I thought I was the next big star.
Jimmy!
Good to see you.
Hate to be here.
What?
Your yesterday's news.
I gotta look at the future.
And this machine's where it's at.
I'm gonna be rich.
Gotcha!
And don't come back!
Unless you have a gold picture.
With a strong female lead.
Or just bring cash.
Cash is good.
Yeah?
Well, you're lost, big time movie studio.
Johnny Brubble is going straight to the top.
And there's nothing you can do to stop me!
Caught?
Caught!
You were really quite incredible!
Incredibly awful!
But somebody get this lunkhead off of my set!
Let's go!
Places!
Auditions today.
Don't worry, Mama.
I'm gonna light up the sky like a flame!
Next!
Ah, that would be me.
I hope your clothes are fireproof.
Cause it's about to get hot in hair.
Ha!
To be or not to be... Ha ha ha!
That's dumb!
Who wrote this?
This guy stopped breathing!
He's impumin... Pumin... Parneb... Hey, is this even a word?
Ha ha!
Um... Yodel-a-hee-hoo!
Souvenirs!
Get your souvenirs!
Exquisitely airbrushed, authentic Hollywood memorabilia!
Aw, man!
What's everybody got that I don't?
Talent, for one.
What was that?
They also appeal to the right demographic.
I got demolition appeal.
Listen, Johnny.
In the world of Hollywood, there's an ancient saying.
I pity the fool.
No.
Yabba-dabba-doo.
Wait, wait.
Love, Johnny.
Love.
What's love got to do with it?
In show business, you gotta go where the love is.
Right.
And you just need to ask yourself, where is the love for Johnny Bravo?
Where is the love for Johnny Bravo?
Duh!
Next stop, Aaron City!
Oh,
some talkin' sky man once told me that you gotta go where the love is.
And the love for Johnny Bravo is right here in Aaron City!
Welcome home, young lady!
Aw, mama.
I'm sorry you won't get to see my name in lights like you always dreamed.
Don't be so sure about that, dearie.
And these doll treasure plates are collectible.
And they feature precious dolls holding tiny little doll plates.
They're almost guaranteed to possibly go up in value.
Shh, shh, shh, shh!
Here it is!
Barry Pensacola here with your Tinseltown ticket.
Tonight we have exclusive footage of the desperate,
pathetic acts of a studio-stalking madman!
Ooh!
Looks like that Hollywood hopeful got Holly-whoop!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
My butt has got the zacks!
I used to be a Tyrannosaurus wreck Till you came
into my life And served me a dollop of respect!
And it was a... Lunch Lady Surprise!
Oh, yeah!
When I look into your eyes Lunch Lady Surprise!
Lunchy, lunchy, lunchy, lunchy Lunch Lady Surprise!
Lunch Lady Surprise!
Can I get a what, what?
Toot, toot!
Hey!
Beep, beep!