Baby!
Sassy!
Good leg!
Ooh!
Check-a-packs!
Man, I'm pretty!
Do the monkey with me!
Hey there, baby!
Yeah, whatever.
Man, I'd sure like to be driving that truckload of Foxit Baywatching Chicks.
You've been watching Kung Fu Baywatching Chicks
featuring the new El Toro Guapo four-wheel drive truck.
Ooh, El Toro Guapo.
Mmm, El Toro Guapo.
Hey, handsome.
Wanna win an El Toro Guapo?
Are you kidding or what?
Then answer the win an El Toro Guapo gantes today.
How do I win it?
Just keep at least one hand on the El Toro Guapo longer than anyone else,
and you win!
I win!
Yes, you win!
Oh, that's easy.
The contest start...
Mama, I gotta go win me an El Toro Guapo.
Okay, I'll cull the Easter eggs without you.
Fifteen, sell.
Yup, here I am, now.
Where's the contest?
Yeah, folks, the win an El Toro Guapo contest is about to begin.
Just 20 seconds left to get your hand on the El Toro Guapo.
Out of the way!
One side contest, losers!
Yee-haw!
Let the contest begin!
Hooray!
Huh.
This El Toro Guapo is warm and hairy.
Actually, I like to think of myself as warm and fuzzy.
It has a nice ring to it.
Huh?
Say, mister... Is this the El Toro Guapo contest?
Well, it isn't family feud.
Of course it's the El Toro Guapo contest.
Yeah, but he's not... You're like a big buffalo or something.
I'm a bull.
Tomato, potato, whatever.
I'm here for my El Toro Guapo.
Well, you certainly know what you want, don't you?
I like that in a contestant.
Now remember, you must keep at least one hand on the bull at all times or you will
be completely eliminated from the competition.
Hey, does this hand count as one?
Because it's attached to my arm, which is pretty huge.
And you might think I was cheating, but it's... It's just that...
Uh...
I'm huge.
People, people, let's get this contest thing going.
You want to win an El Toro Guapo?
Yee-hoo!
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Then let's lay down the ground rules.
What?
No toreadors.
Aww.
I also do floral arrangements.
I said no.
Rule two.
No wearing the color red.
Ah!
I knew I should have worn my lavender sweatsuit.
Rule three.
No sweaty palms.
You there in the back.
You've got sweaty palms.
I hate sweaty palms.
Rule four.
Everybody has to begin by scratching my back.
So start scratching, people!
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
Right there.
Oh, perfect.
Hey, are these really the rules?
Sorry.
I don't speak loser.
Hooray!
This contest is getting kind of weird.
Okay, rule five.
You all have to give me a one-handed bath.
That means you too, Dexter.
It's Johnny.
Johnny Bravo.
Okay, Johnny Bravo, if that's your real name.
Start scrubbing.
Ooh, that feels great.
I can't even feel my hand anymore.
Okay, rinse me off again before I get all pruny.
That's better.
I feel so clean.
Hmm.
Still quite a few of you left.
Let's pick up the pace.
How about a rousing sing-along?
John Jacob Jingleinersmith.
He made it on the mirror!
Well, if you want to beat him, join up.
The people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jingleinersmith.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
This old man, he played 523,234.
He played knick-knack, all my... Dinosaur!
Hooray!
Hey Johnny, what should we sing next?
How about the Shut Up song?
Hmm, I don't know that one.
Can you hum a few bars to me?
Oh, I get it.
It's a song where I'm supposed to...
There's no singing and there's a shut up and there's a song.
I got you, yeah.
But I don't like that song.
But I do like... Take me out to the ball game.
Take me out with the crowd.
Everybody!
Buy me something that's at Cracker Jacks.
I don't care if I ever get back.
Good morning, everyone.
Sleep well.
Must... stay... awake.
I don't know about you, but I feel like some early morning exercise.
Hey, Johnny.
What?
You look like you work out.
What do you do for your calves?
I think I do power squats or something.
Power squats?
Sign me up.
Okay, people, you might want to hang on to something.
Ah!
Hooray!
Power squats.
Thanks, Johnny.
Not a problem.
Let's see.
One, two, three, four.
Hm.
There's still too many contestants.
I need to get rid of some more.
Get rid of him next.
He's smelly.
Mm.
You're right.
He is nasty.
Ooh.
Yeah, and him next.
I don't like the look in his eye.
Ah!
Hey, no fair.
It's like you're working together.
Hooray!
Well, Johnny, that's it.
There's nobody left but you and the incredibly foxy babe.
Incredibly foxy.
Hey, gorgeous.
Re-abend this whole contest.
Zip it, Betty.
Johnny.
Wilma.
Hello, Mr. Bull.
I'm Morgan.
And I'd like to get to know you well.
Ew.
That's too pushy.
I like Johnny better.
He's sassy.
Hey, I can do sassy.
No, thank you.
See, hot mama?
The buffalo likes me.
I'm gonna win the El Toro Guafo, so why don't you
save us all the waiting and let go of him right now?
Never.
I come from a long line of contest winners.
Take a look at these.
Spelling Bee, Swimming Champion, Triathlon, and that's just from the third grade.
Impressive.
Who cares?
They're just medals.
I want to win the El Toro Guafo.
No, I want to win the El Toro Guafo.
I want to win the El Toro Guafo.
No, I want to win the El Toro Guafo.
These two folks fight over the make kids so nasty.
I want to win the El Toro Guafo.
I want a trip to Europe.
I want to cut you a deal.
I want an Oompa Loompa now, daddy.
Oops.
Dropped my hanky.
Could you pick it up for me?
Thanks, Johnny.
You're a gent.
Oops!
Dropped my anvil.
Thanks.
Oops!
Dropped my porcupine!
Pick it up yourself, metal girl.
Hooray!
Oh, Johnny.
Oh, lady who's gonna lose the contest to me.
You know, now that I look at you, I have to say I really admire your style.
Well, that makes two of us.
So, now that we're all alone, why don't we really get to know one another?
Hmm?
This is interesting.
Now you're playing my song, baby.
Great.
I'll go and fix myself up.
How about a little dinner?
Oh, look at the sky.
It's a beautiful pizza pie.
And they call it Belle Amore.
Oh, Johnny.
The night is beautiful.
No?
Mm-hmm.
Man, I'm starting.
Hold my hand, Johnny.
Look deep into my eyes.
Oh, and pass the Parmesan.
Oh, look at the night.
It's a journey.
Stop!
Whoa!
That was close.
Johnny, can't you see I'm crazy about you?
Take your hand off the bull, Johnny.
Luke.
I mean, Johnny.
This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the dark side.
Don't give in to her seduction.
Remember your destiny.
To win an El Toro Guapo.
Win an El Toro Guapo.
No dice, sugar bun.
The buffalo's right.
Johnny ain't lettin' go.
Fine.
We both still have our hands on the bull, and I'll never let go.
Do you hear me?
Never!
Morgan!
Dean?
What are you doing catching another bull?
Me?
I... I... Ha-ha, gotcha!
Tch!
Ah!
Hooray!
Johnny Bravo wins the El Toro Guapo!
I... win... the El Toro Guapo!
Ta-da!
Hold on.
You're the prize?
I like to think so.
But the TV has said the prize was an El Toro Guapo truck!
Oh, you mean the El Toro Guapo truck contest.
Over there!
We have a winner!
Hi, Johnny!
So, what have we gotta do now?
Hm.
You know, fresh-cut grass isn't half bad.
Trust me, Johnny, I wouldn't steer you wrong.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Steared!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Hooray!
If you're gorgeous and you know it, say I am.
I am.
If you're gorgeous and you know it, then you're fun.
Hey, little lady.
I couldn't help but notice your private eyes.
Watching me, watching me, watching me.
Do you mind upping your shut?
I'm very busy.
Busy?
Doing what?
Mad day for you love.
Voila!
Gesundheit.
No.
Hypnotist and palm reader.
All right?
Happy?
Can you go now?
Arm reader?
Can you also read biceps, triceps, belts, lats?
Enough!
Bored now.
Johnny, I sense that you are in the thinking that you are a man about town.
A shoo-in with the ladies whose sole purpose is to bother woman.
Could you say that again?
Because all I heard was blah, blah, blah woman.
Now pay attention!
You will no longer be big, annoying, womanizing oaf.
Instead, you will be transformed into woman.
And as woman, you will learn what it is to be woman.
And how it is to endure the many, countless, annoying, boorish men who,
like you, think they are God's gift to woman.
But until you learn the important lesson of what it is to really be woman,
woman you will continue to be.
Voila!
Hey there, pretty mama!
Well, that was new.
Now what's a frumpy yet oddly attractive chick doing in my mirror?
And why is she playing Simon Says with me?
Hey, maybe it's the new dating thing.
Simon Says, rub your tummy.
Simon Says, jump up and down.
Simon Says, do the monkey with me!
Come on!
Feisty.
But not much of a talker.
Probably playing hard to get.
Well, Johnny can play that game.
Ha!
Gotcha!
Where'd you go?
I hear you!
Come on out!
What?
You!
Who?
Me!
Me who?
Me you!
Man, I'm a chick!
What's up with that?
Wait a second.
You'll be transformed into woman until you learn the
important lesson of what it is to really be woman.
Woman, you will continue to be.
Oh, man.
Well, at least I sound right in my head.
But what about...
Oh, yeah.
I still got it.
But now what?
Oh, yeah.
I guess I'm supposed to learn a lesson.
I know.
Chicks are for looking hot.
Lesson learned.
Now bring back my body to me.
Maybe that's not the lesson.
Come on, girl.
Let's get pretty so I can get my bravo back.
Hello.
Huh.
I don't think I've ever noticed all the pretty floral patterns in Mama's room.
Such attention to detail.
My room should really get a makeover.
Speaking of makeovers.
I was so much prettier as a man.
Johnny!
How's my baby doing?
Just fine.
Just, um, just fine, Mama.
Just need to, uh, fire your tweezers.
Whatever you need, dear.
Kids.
Ow!
Stingin'!
Ow!
Aw, man!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Pretty, but bland.
Time for makeup.
That's not it.
Ah!
Next!
Turning my hair-don't into a hair-do.
Johnny's specialty.
Hey, little lady.
How about you and me go share a combo platter?
Oh, wait.
It's still me.
Now for the clothes.
No, no, no, no, no.
I guess this'll work.
Well, you look at all these pretty butterflies.
And the flowers!
I know!
Look at those happy children playing.
Life sure is different through chick-colored glasses.
That's right.
Get a load of Johnny.
Uh, I mean, Jenny.
Ha!
Jenny Brava!
What's with the nastiness?
You'd think that these guys would be fighting to check out my lovely factor.
What do they got that I don't got?
There seems to be a little less swagger in the step.
Now I'm getting it.
Oh, man.
I'm like the ugly chick now.
What's a girl to do?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Those pants, that shirt, those shoes.
Honey, you're tore up from the floor up.
Hey, buddy.
What's the big idea?
Don't you see that under those disgusting rags
is a lioness waiting to unleash her inner...
Uh-huh.
Now let's get your flower blooming.
Aw.
Now go and be beautiful.
Seems if you're gorgeous, you can get anything you want.
Walk at two more powers that be, huh?
Or maybe not.
I love this.
This unicorn is so cute.
And my shoes, though tight, are to die for.
Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker.
I must be a snowflake, cause I'm falling for you!
Oh, yeah.
It's hard being me.
Am I in heaven?
Cause I am seeing an angel.
An angel on earth, baby.
Man, you're hot.
Ew, he should try that brushing the tongue thing.
What?
Where are all these guys coming from?
Two more meals, boss.
Now, this is crazy!
Your name must be Destiny, cause Destiny is in my future.
That's enough!
My name's not Destiny!
It's Jenny!
Stop!
Is this what being a woman is about?
Do these jerks think just because we're totally
hot, it's open season to be completely annoying?
What does it all mean?
You think that men are pigs?
I say we all know that's a fact.
So listen to me, sister friend, cause I now have your back.
They think they've got it going on, that they're a work of art.
Don't pay them anything, that girls are smart.
Now, that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, yeah!
Girls are smart!
You think that you are funky fresh?
I know that you are cool.
And with your proven nuts and moves, I know that you can roll.
Girl, you've got to think and put your mind before your heart.
Cause a real important lesson is... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Bad girls are smart!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
The packs of guys are wanting to check out this new girl.
But now they're really bugging you.
Your head is in a whirl.
But don't you go fretting, or let it get you in a bind.
Cause the last thing that they're checking out is Jenna's Brilliant Mind.
It's time for you to use a little of your common sense.
Use martial arts or pepper spray.
It's all in self-defense.
You know you've got the strength in your body, mind, and heart.
And with that strength, you'll also learn.
Girls are smart.
Break it down.
Girls are smart.
That's right, Jenny.
You are there.
Jenny.
Come on.
Jenny.
Work with me.
Come on, y'all.
Come on.
Oh, I get it.
I think I just learned a lesson.
Girls are smart.
Jenny.
Ahem.
That's Johnny, little ladies.
Johnny Bravo.
Oh, I see there's a whole lot of women out there.
So if you're looking to feast on 100% USDA Prime hunk, there's more than enough,
Johnny, to go around.
Holy nightmare on Elm Street.
That was a freaky Friday of a dream.
Everything okay, Johnny?
As beautiful as a rainbow.
Hey, we got any cornflakes, Mama?
I'm feeling a little hippie.
Whoa!
Wow!
Whoa!
Bah!
Everything 좋은 Afternoon.
this is.
happening in the morning.
And this is the second one.