One, two, three, hey!
Baby!
Sassy!
Stuntleg!
Ooh!
Check-a-plex!
Man, I'm pretty!
Do the monkey with me!
Stay there, baby!
Yeah, whatever.
One, and two, and seven, and Trudy!
What the?
That sounds like the ding-dong of the sexy female lady-woman.
Aw, you're no female lady-woman.
No, sir.
You're a... you're a cow.
In a business suit.
Yes, sir.
Moo.
Mr. Bravo, I'm from the Wilderness Protection Program and... Do you sell cookies?
No.
We give undercover safekeeping to people hiding
from the mob by assigning them new identities.
You've been selected to receive a domestic partner.
A female lady-woman?
A wife.
Yes.
A female wife?
Yes.
Who's a lady?
Yes.
Who can help out around the house?
I suppose.
Woo!
Bring it on, cow-woman!
Just sign here, here, and here.
Cross the D, dot the I.
And... done.
Mr. Bravo, I'd like to introduce you to your wife, Becky.
Whoopsie.
Loose strength.
You want me to marry a lady moose?
Technically, you've already married her.
You may now kiss the bride.
You two will now be known as Johnny and Becky
Jones, a nice, happy family of elephants.
The mobsters will never find you.
What?
Nobody's gonna believe we're elephants.
Not with that attitude, they won't.
But the system works.
Just last month, I set up a nice family of stool pigeons to pretend to be hippos.
Hey, hippos, have you seen... He did it!
Anywho, here's a book that should answer any questions.
Have a good marriage.
And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me.
Just kidding.
You're on your own.
Don't hesitate to call.
Oh, man, I'm funny.
I kill me.
Little help.
I'm stuck, moose.
Oh, I always dreamed my wedding night would be like this.
Nice house in the suburbs.
A handsome husband by my side.
Fake elephant trunk.
Tell me again why I married a moose.
Oh, you hate me.
I knew it.
I'm not pretty enough.
I can't help it that I'm this big.
I have a slow metabolism.
Also, I'm a moose.
Hey, there there, Mrs. Jones.
I mean, Honey Bunch.
Johnny.
The mob.
They were after me.
You see, I used to work as a waitress in a speakeasy.
But I swear, I didn't know it was a mob hangout.
Whoa, flashback.
I thought it would be easiest to explain this way.
You see, one day, I accidentally walked in on the mob bosses during a secret meeting.
That's what bears my behind writing.
Hey, you!
And so forth.
Gotcha.
The point is, they think I was spying on them.
And now they have my purse.
So they know who I am and where I live and... My ideal weight.
Well, we better start acting like a normal
American elephant family so they don't find you.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'm going to be the best wife ever, Johnny Jones.
I hate this stupid elephant trunk.
It hides my hunky face.
And the strap.
And the hair.
Not a good combo.
Whoopsy-doodle.
Moose instinct.
Johnny?
Hey there, baby.
Do you like fish sticks?
I guess.
Oh, yeah?
So do I.
It's like we're soulmates.
Johnny Bravo-Jones, what are you doing?
You're a married elephant!
And that's why we need to track down that little moose.
Capiche?
Yo, capiche.
Get out of those cookies.
Here's the purse.
The address is on our license.
Find her.
That Chandler is funny.
Johnny!
Take out the trash!
Oh, man.
Hey there, sugar.
I don't date pachyderms.
Well, that's great, because I'm a one-derm kind of guy.
That Becker is funny.
Johnny!
Mow the lawn!
Oh, man.
Hey there, gorgeous.
Hi, handsome.
Love your trunk.
No, I mean, I'm not actually an El... Ladies!
There's a new stud in town!
Come on!
Oh, rats.
Rats!
She wasn't there, boss.
Yeah, we went to her house, but she split.
Must be hiding out somewheres.
Well, find her and give her what she deserves.
If you know what I mean.
Johnny, sweetie.
I think I've almost perfected my suburban
elephant housewife domesticated wave greeting.
But I need someone to practice with.
Not now, baby cakes.
I'm watching my stories.
All right!
Huh.
I guess I'll help you now.
Goody, goody, goody.
Okay, here it is.
Remember, I'm an elephant.
Ahem.
Hello, sir.
Or madam.
Hey, what's that?
Some sort of puzzle piece?
It must have gotten stuck there at the mob hangout when I fell down.
Maybe it's the missing piece of that secret plan that you overheard.
The plan.
Right.
What's it say?
Uh...
I can't make it out.
But it looks like a piece of the mob's secret evil scheme.
Oh, no!
We need to work backwards to decipher the rest of the plan so we can stop it!
But how?
We just have to figure out the missing pieces!
The puzzle piece is green, and green people always want something from you.
What would?
I got it!
They want to steal something!
Green!
Green candy is sour, so they're probably stealing
something that's the complete opposite of sour!
Sweet?
Of course!
Now, what's sweet?
Sweet touch?
Sweet potato pie?
Sweet child of mine?
Sweet home Alabama?
Sweet honey?
Aha!
They're stealing honey!
But from who?
I can barely keep my eyes open.
Barely?
That's it!
Bears!
And look!
There's some sort of tiny speck on the puzzle piece!
What could that be?
A mole?
That's it!
The mob's gonna steal honey from all the bears in the forest while they hibernate
and give it to the mole people they use to conquer the world!
You know what we have to do now, right?
Take off this fake beard?
No!
It makes you look regal!
Fix this broken clock?
Sure.
But then, we have to warn the bears about the mob's plan before it's too late!
Let's go!
Up and at him!
Wake up, sleepyheads!
Rest and shoot!
Early bear gets the honey not stolen by monsters who will
then give it to the mole people to take over the world!
This won't end well.
You guys, listen up.
The mob is planning on stealing your honey.
Our honey?
What is this, Winnie the Pooh?
Only bears in cartoons get their honey stolen!
All right, cranky face.
Someone seems overtired.
That's because someone woke me from my hibernation!
That's enough!
Yeah, we'll take it from here.
Oh, they found me, Johnny!
I'm done for!
Not so fast!
Oh, please!
Mr. Mob Guys, don't kill me!
I'm too young and pretty to be fitted with cement
shoes and thrown in the river by mobster goons!
Mobster goons?
You think we're in the mob?
The mob.
That's rich.
You're not the mob?
No!
You mean the speakeasy isn't a mob hangout?
No, we're just in the Elks Club.
Yeah, we sit around with the Elks playing board games and doing puzzles at the lodge.
Then why were you chasing after me?
You dropped your purse when you ran out of the lodge.
We just wanted to give it back to you.
But I thought you thought I overheard your secret conversation at the table.
Secret conversation?
The only thing that goes on at the table is assembling Jigsaw puzzles.
Yeah, we couldn't figure out a puzzle because a piece was missing.
You mean, this piece?
I know an old Elk will be very happy to see that.
Here you go!
You don't know how much this piece means to me.
This puzzle was an unsolvable mystery without it.
I've spent countless sleepless nights trying to figure it out.
Oh, it's a koala bear!
Isn't he cute?
Thanks for helping us out.
You ever need anything taken care of, you call me.
Capisce?
What?
I wasn't doing nothing!
You people confuse me.
They were so loud.
Prehistoric times.
Viewed by modern man as barbaric.
Indeed primitive.
Johnny Bravo.
Viewed by modern woman as barbaric.
Indeed primitive.
Ironic or just plain duh?
In order to answer that question, let's travel back in time and pay a little
visit to what we refer to as the Stone Age.
Hey, baby.
Me, Johnny.
You're hot.
With the sunshine... With the ground... Holy mashed potatoes!
Look out, you idiot!
Hey, thanks, mister.
I think you just saved my life.
You're darn tootin' I did, buddy.
Samantha Marble here for Bedrock TV News.
We're here at the scene of a horrible accident in front of Slate Rock and Gravel
Company, where this brave man... Uh, Fred.
Fred Flintstone.
Just heroically saved the life of this...
Unbelievably handsome stud muffin, Johnny Bravo.
Heavy on the stud.
Hi, Mom!
Mr. Flintstone, what made you want to risk your life for this... Total stranger?
It's not important how this guy saved my life.
What's important is that I, Johnny Bravo, plan on payin' him back.
However that is.
I mean, I'd do anything for this big, fat guy.
Will you, Flintstone?
Oh, boy.
Why aren't you at your post?
I've got half a mind to... Uh, uh, uh... What?
What's goin' on?
Fred Flintstone just saved this man's life.
Any comments about our new local hero?
Like I said, Flintstone, I've half a mind to give you a raise.
And the day off.
And remember, folks, buy slate for all your gravel needs.
This has been Samantha Marble with a Bedrock News special report.
Okay, people, that's a wrap.
Your 15 seconds of fame is up.
Let's move it, people.
Nothin' to see here.
Oh, man.
Daddy, I saw you on the news.
Are you okay?
Uh, I'm fine.
I'm fine, and you're fine.
So what do you say we go out and be fine together?
Oh, yeah.
Pebbles, this is... Johnny, Johnny the love of your life.
Bravo.
Johnny, this is Pebbles, my daughter, who I assume
is going to have dinner waiting for me tonight.
You know I can't cook, Daddy.
Yeah, well, with your mother going for the weekend,
that leaves a load of womanly chores to do.
And you being a woman, uh...
Daddy, what do you think this is?
The Jurassic era?
It's the Stone Age.
Ah!
Speaking of which, me and the gang are going to go study at the library.
Bye, Daddy.
Bye, Johnny.
Hope to see you around.
Hey, bravo.
You want to pay me back for saving your life, right?
Oh, I think I know how you can do that.
I worked it out so you could do the right thing in paying me back.
Here's the deal.
Every time you'll finish another chore for me, I'll give you five points.
That way you can work off me saving your life, which is worth 100 points.
100 points?
That's a lot, right?
And now, here's Samantha Marble with the story of today's heroic rescue.
It's not important how this guy saved my life.
What's important is that I, Johnny Bravo, plan on paying him back.
So, bravo, if you're good for your word...
You big softy.
Oh, man.
You know, Wilma always sings me a song while I'm vacuuming.
Oh, yeah?
Do you know this one?
I'm not Wilma!
Geez, what a grouch.
This is so not working out.
At this rate, I'll never be even with that Flintstone guy.
I gotta think of something.
Hey, what if you found a way to save his life?
Then you'd be totally even.
What if I find a way to save his life?
Then we'd be totally even.
It'll never work.
Either I'm at the wrong house, or you've lost some weight, Fred.
In a weird way.
Hey, Barn.
Fred, you're still fat.
Can it, wise guy.
Look, Bravo, me and Barney are gonna bowl a few frames before dinner.
Just stick to the list and everything should be A-OK.
Hey, do you mind if I come?
I could, uh, carry stuff for you and junk.
Well, now that's the spirit, Bravo.
I like that.
How's about you start by carrying my bowling ball for me?
Great.
Pick it up, Bravo.
We don't have all day.
All I need is to find a way to save this guy's life, and the whole thing is open.
This should be easy.
So, uh, Fred, who's the new guy?
He's my new personal assistant.
You mean like a slave?
Uh, assistant, Barn.
Anyway, it's only until Wilma comes home.
Oh, Bravo.
Want to earn an extra two points?
Whatever it takes.
Thank you very-.
Flintstone, look out!
Two chopped saber-toothed tiger chops.
Order up!
Wait!
Stand back!
Those chops could have some kind of crazy jungle disease.
You better test it out.
Huh!
Nope.
No danger here.
Shoot.
Man, why do I have to be saved by such a workasaurus?
I just want to get with the saving so I can stop the slaving.
Oh, Bravo.
I use the powder and everything.
Well, that's two extra points in your dish there, Johnny boy.
Now, get ready to see some magic.
Well, at least his face was shining in the ball.
Yes, dear.
I love you, too.
Good night.
Bon, it looks like Wilma's coming home early tomorrow.
I'm in big trouble.
What do you mean?
Hello?
If you haven't noticed, I tricked some poor dope into doing all my chores for me.
Plus, he won't leave.
I gave my word that I would stay till we were all even and... He's stickin' to it.
Wilma's gonna be plenty mad when she finds out... He has been usin' me like a slave.
Oh, there's gotta be somethin' I can do to speed up this whole savin' my life thing.
I know, I just need a plan where I can make sure I save that big, fat guy's life,
because... If he repays me by savin' my life, we'd be even-stevin'.
And I'd be done with that dim, bold once and for all.
So what you gonna do, Fred?
We need a plan, Bon.
I got it!
Listen to this!
Hey, how'd you guys know I wanted to go to the amusement park today?
Well, they've got this new diner-coaster that's to dino for!
Yeah!
It's supposed to be a real hoodly-hoot.
Yeah, well, I don't go much for coasters.
Why don't you two go test her out?
Fine, you stay here.
Just keep your eye on us.
Kay there, pal?
No problemo!
You got us covered there, old buddy?
Covered.
Uh, are you sure this is gonna work, Fred?
Barney, when have I ever been wrong?
You got me covered there, pal?
Covered.
Right at the top, all right?
It's all right.
Here we go!
A little hot on the staff, don't you think?
Sorry.
Okay, Bon, hit it!
Help!
I never knew something so sour could be so sweet.
Hey, bravo!
You big luckhead!
Save me!
Help!
Oh, yeah.
Huh!
Time to get that big monkey off my back.
Hey, where's my pterodactyl?
Oh, yeah, Barry!
I rented him out.
What?
But you said you'd save your best pterodactyl for me!
I'm sorry.
Somehow Chick wanted him.
And you know, you can't say no to the ladies.
Yeah.
Well, what else do you got?
Uh, how about Harold?
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Okay, buddy.
I got some lives to save.
To the dino coaster!
Hiya!
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.
Finally!
I'm coming for you, Flintstone!
Hold, hold on!
Here I am.
Nope, here.
Hold on!
Not here!
Oh man, can't you do anything right?
You know, I have feelings, too.
Whoa!
Now, what kind of a dodo brain would go on a ride like that?
No!
Hold on, Patty, I'll save you.
Wow!
Now I owe you my life, my bone-haired little beauty.
Can I start paying it off by taking you to dinner?
Look here, Bravo, you can save your life and mine by getting out of town right now.
But, but... Dino!
Get him, boy!
Whoo!
Oh, Daddy.
Whoo!
Prehistoric Johnny.
Ironic or just plain duh?
I'd say... Yabba Dabba Duh!