- Are you ready, kids?
Aye, aye, Captain!
- I can't hear you.
Aye, aye, Captain!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
- SpongeBob
SquarePants!
All right, Karen.
I'm off to go shopping.
Oh!
- Uh... ew!
What is that?
Ahh!
Huh? - Hey, over here.
- So, uh, you got the goods?
- Of course.
I always deliver.
- Hee-hee.
Eee!
- Pleasure doing business with you.
- Likewise, my shady friend.
So same time next—
I'm here for the formula.
Hand it over, and nobody gets—
- Ew.
I seem to have stepped in some revolting substance.
No matter.
- Ouch.
Ouch.
Honey, I'm home.
- Tough day at work, dear?
- Yes.
Everybody stepped on me again.
- Oh.
Well, I know what'll cheer up my little man.
Let's dance those blues away.
- Oh, boy!
- Oh, yeah.
Go, Sheldon.
Ha-ha!
- You were right, Karen, I feel better already.
I've got boogie fever!
- We haven't danced like this since our wedding night.
Whoo!
- Plankton?
Oh, no.
Pardon me. Pardon me.
Plankton?
Plankton, are you there, sweetie?
Excuse me.
- Oh.
- Plankton?
There you are.
At least part of you.
- That's it!
I'm not getting stepped on anymore.
Take me to my lab.
- Sure.
But let's find the rest of you first.
Foot Deterrent, Version 1.1, commence test.
Not quite there.
- Foot Deterrent, laser thingy.
Might as well get this over with.
What?
Yes.
I'm invincible!
Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh.
Ah!
Ow.
All right, time for a field test
in T-minus 3, 2, 1.
- Huh?
- Hmm.
- My foot!
Ouch. Ouch.
Take that, you high-stepping ham!
Huh?
- Oh, boy.
Time to stop those big metal stompers.
Hmm?
Hwah!
Hee-yah!
- Plankton, what in tarnation are you doing?
You almost barbecued my dang paw.
- Duh.
That was the point.
But hey, what was that "hiyah" stuff you just did?
- Well, that was just good, old-fashioned self-defense.
You know, karate.
Looks like you could use a little self-defense too.
Why don't you swing by my dome so I can show you some moves?
- Anything to stop the stomping.
Hmm?
- Huh?
- All right, Plankton, come on out.
- Mm.
I make this gi look good.
- Now bow to your sensei.
- Plankton bows to no one.
- Huh? - Hiyah.
- Good.
Now we may begin.
We must first gauge your current level of self-defense.
Think fast!
- Think what?
Ouch!
Now I know why they call it a sneaker.
- Maybe something a little gentler.
Whoa!
I can't flip like you.
Only flop.
- OK.
How 'bout these?
- Ouch!
- Huh.
Seems like you lack the fundamentals.
What you need is some basic training.
- Okey-dokey, furry lady.
Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah!
Ow.
Ah!
Ha-ha!
Augh!
Heh-heh-heh.
Hiyah!
Hee-hee.
- Now that you've mastered the basics,
I reckon you're ready to spar with a real partner.
- Hi, Plankton!
- SpongeBob?
- Don't you worry.
I'll go easy on ya.
Foam sparring boots.
- I can't promise I'll do the same.
- Bow to your opponents.
- Now fight!
- Wah!
- Hmm? - Yah!
- Ah!
- That was pretty good, Plankton.
But remember to keep your guard up.
- It's no use.
I'm just too small to avoid being stepped on.
- Hmm.
But in karate, your greatest weakness may also
be your greatest strength.
- Yeah.
But in "rea-li-tay," that doesn't make any sense!
- Allow me to demonstrate.
SpongeBob, give me the old roundhouse.
- Wah!
- Your opponent's momentum can be used—
- Huh?
—against them, no matter your size.
You OK, SpongeBob?
- I would bow to you If I could.
Ouch.
- That was incredible!
Let me try.
- Visualize the technique.
Grab, twist, and let gravity do the rest.
- Shut up.
You're distracting me.
- Hwah!
- Hiyah! - Ugh!
- I did it!
In your face, feet!
- Congratulations, Plankton.
But remember, this technique is to be used
strictly for self-defense.
- Oh, of course, Sensei Sandy.
Uh, wink.
Buh-bye!
- Uh, Sandy, could you give me a ride to the hospital?
- Whoops!
Oh, sure, SpongeBob. Heh-heh.
- All right, who's looking to rumble?
Huh? You!
Heh-heh.
Hiyah!
What unexplained force of nature?
Ah!
- I feel so powerful!
And I can't help but use that power for evil!
Oh, Krabsy, hyah, I'm home!
Oh!
- Whoa, whoa! Oh!
- Whoa!
No one can stop me now.
That secret formula will be mine!
- Hmm. - Hiyah!
- Whoa, whoa! Ugh!
- Plankton?
- No, not Plankton.
- I made it.
Huh?
Security ninjas?
Heh. Krabs thinks of everything.
Bring it on!
- Whah!
Knock, knock.
Plankton!
How did you get past me security ninjas?
- With the art of karate.
Now that I can defend myself, your feet are all doomed!
- Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
- Oh, you won't be laughing once I use my ultimate
foot-stomping finisher!
- Bad news for you, Plankton.
I don't have any feet.
- You what?
Just my luck, I guess.
- Hee-hee!
The old familiar sting of "de-feet," aye?
Six to eight weeks before I can attack the Krusty Krab again.
Oh, well.
At least I'm not in traction anymore.
Augh!
- Oh, boy!
Only six to eight weeks before I can work
at the Krusty Krab again!
- Ouch!
Karate is a pain in the— ouch!
- Excuse me, Miss.
Is this seat taken?
- It is now, Sailor.
Mm-hmm.
Mm—
- Hmm?
- Three bells?
It's lunchtime!
Better get some food!
- Oh, Fondue Man!
- Huh?
Hey, hey, hey.
- Ooh.
Oh.
- Ooh.
Ah.
Hmm?
Mm.
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
- Mwah.
Hmm.
Mm?
Hmm.
A 5 cent tip?
Thanks a lot, Mister.
Hmph!
- Ah, fondue.
The perfect food for a beach date.
- Oh.
Oh.
- Uh, OK. OK.
- Oh. - OK.
No. Oh—
- Oh. Ooh.
- Um.
- Oh.
- Mmm-mmm.
Whoo-hoo!
Now, that was a meal.
What do you say to a romantic dip in the goo, my sweet?
- Well, I suppose I could wash off some of this cheese.
- Whoo-hoo! Oh!
- Oh! Oh.
- Huh?
Ah!
- Oh!
- Eugene!
- The undertow's got me!
Whoa!
- Help!
- Huh?
Rump in a riptide!
I gotcha, bro.
- [retches, mumbles]
- Oh.
- Yay!
- Thank you, Larry.
- Ooh. - Mwah!
- Hmm. - Thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!
- Eugene, don't try to talk.
I'd better take you home.
Bye, Larry.
Thanks again.
- Huh?
- Larry's always ready to step in.
- I'm telling you, boy-o, that kiss, that wave—
I'm losing me sweet Puff to a shiny-shelled boy toy!
- Well, maybe your eyes were confused.
- No.
She loved Larry's muscles.
She's sick of this old sack of fondue.
- Look, Mr. K., I'm sure Mrs. Puff
loves you for who you are, not how many muscles you have.
- Look.
Look, boy.
This farmer's tan, this flabby shell, so undefined.
See the realities of middle age on an all-fondue diet!
Look away! - Ah!
- No crab should look like this!
There's only one option, boy-o.
I gotta get in shape before me next date.
And you're gonna help!
That crustaceous hunk doesn't know who I am or why I'm
here, boy-o.
- Go, go, go!
Yeah, yeah!
Unh, unh, unh!
Go, go, go, go!
Sweat!
- This was a mistake.
Abandoned gym!
- You can do this, Mr. Krabs.
Do it for Mrs. Puff.
Huh?
- Oh, you're right.
I'll do it for Puff.
Oh!
- Welcome to my temple of the bods.
- Save the sales pitch. I got this.
- You know, that's actually for—
- Whoops. Heh-heh.
Finished me reps.
Hmm.
OK.
- I can show you how to— - OK.
Got me heart rate up. Ya-ho.
- Uh, Mr. Krabs?
- Never heard of him.
- Must be shy about his first day.
If you want to work out, I'd be happy to help train you.
Heh, heh.
Yeah, maybe I could use a few pointers.
- Let's just try lifting some free weights.
- Look, Larry, I'm doing it!
Wah!
Sponge—
- Huh?
Hey!
- No stealing the free weights, bro.
- Well, are they free or not?
I've never met anyone as workout-averse as you.
I just don't know how to motivate you.
- Ooh.
I know how to motivate him.
Huh? Huh?
- Ooh.
Money, money, money, money, money, money.
Money!
- Whoa.
Nice trick, little dude.
- That's nothing.
You should see how I get him to take his pills.
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah!
- Whew.
That was one heck of a workout.
Time to see what 168 straight hours of exercise
does to the body.
- Ahh.
- Hey!
What's the deal, Larry?
Why ain't I ripped?
- Fitness is a lifelong journey, bro.
Can't change your physique in a week.
Ah.
Mm-hmm.
See you bros in the sauna.
- Hmm?
No one can change their physique, eh?
Hee-hee-hee-hee.
Huh?
- Ha-ha.
Ha!
- Ooh? Ahh.
Oh.
- Hey there, ma'am.
Is this beach taken?
- Oh, my.
Eugene, you're so well-defined.
Eugene?
Yeah! Ha-ha! Yeah!
- Take a look.
These are called gains, people.
Yeah.
- Hmm.
- Whoa!
- Ah!
Nice pecs, Mr. Krabs.
- We love you!
- Wow. We love you.
- Strongest crab in the world!
I fear no man!
- Krabs!
- Larry?
- I'm going to crack you right out of my shell, bro.
- Whoa!
Mr. Krabs, looking good!
- Was that Larry?
He must have stopped working out for a few minutes.
- Ahh!
Fondue?
At the beach?
Whoa!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Whoa!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
- Larry's in trouble.
- Someone save him!
- Who will lifeguard the lifeguards?
Huh?
Fondue Man!
- Ah! - Yeah!
Yeah!
Uh, OK.
- Ouch!
Whoa!
- Ahh!
Ohh.
- Oh, yeah!
Ha-ha.
That's right, saving the day over here.
What do you think of me now, Puffykins?
Your old Krabsy is quite the hero.
Hiyah!
- Oh, puh-lease.
I'm not into muscle-bound, self-centered jerks.
- Heh-heh.
What's that?
- I like my boys a little soft around the edges.
- Oh.
- Mwah.
- Ah-ha-ha-ha.
Hmm.
- That's why Larry and I have a beach date tomorrow.
- Ha-ha!
Larry loves beach dates.
- Beach date?
Wait!
I was kidding!
The muscles were just a ruse.
Puffy!
See!
Ha-ha. Oh.
Ah!
Puffykins, I'm soft.