Looks like the tables have turned for you!
Please don't.
Crime alert!
What is it, bro?
Are the villains doing the rampage?
A natural disaster threatening thousands of lives?
Or a third option I can't think of?
Worse than all of those combined.
- Pirates! - Pirates?
We love pirates.
You what?
Let's cast off the mizzenmast
and swab the decks off the port bow, mateys.
I'ma sail them seven seas, yo.
Not those kinds of pirates.
I'm talking about computer pirates.
You mean robot pirates?
We love robot pirates.
Let us cast off the mizzenmast
and swab the decks off the port bow, mateys.
Yo, ho, ho. Yo, yo, yo. Yo, ho, ho. Yo, ho.
Yar 2.0.
Not robot pirates!
I said, computer pirates.
Oh, holds up. Is you talking about nerds?
Computer pirates aren't nerds. They're dangerous criminals.
The computer nerds can be the dangerous?
To intellectual property? Yes.
They illegally obtain music, movies, games and other forms of entertainment
and distribute them on the Internet for free,
costing big companies millions of dollars.
Isn't there someone else who can handle this?
Of course, the FBI can,
but the problem is so widespread
they can surely use our help.
Unless there's a high seas adventure, we're not interested.
Come on, guys.
We're going to be cool good guy hackers
and take down a gang of computer pirates.
Thereby saving entertainment companies billions in lost revenue.
Oh, do we have to?
Yes.
So, you started an old, tiny hair salon?
Yo, give me a perm, with them tight curl-a-curls.
These are advanced VR helmets
that will transport our consciousness inside my computer,
where we'll become our cool hacker avatars,
find those computer pirates, and take them down.
And make them walk the plank!
No planks!
This is a hacker adventure.
We will report them to the FBI
and they will face up to $250,000 in fines.
Not to mention a potential 5 year prison sentence.
Eh, that sounds boring.
It only sounds boring because you don't understand virtual reality.
You just need to...
Free your minds.
Make your choice.
The red jellybeans or the blue one?
Choose carefully.
Jellybeans!
Hey, hey, hey! You were supposed to make a choice
between being free thinkers
or staying imprisoned in your own minds.
We pick jellybeans.
Forget it. Let's just get started.
Titans, jack in!
- Say what? - Jack in!
It's computer hacker slang for plugging our brains into my computer.
Are you sure about this? Your computer is pretty old, dude.
It'll be fine. Now, jack in!
Sounds kinda creepy when you say it like that.
I'm not a creep. Jack in!
- Whoa! - Wow.
Hacker adventure.
Ooh, where are we?
Welcome to my computer.
You saids this would be an awesome simulation.
Yeah, this place is a real bummer.
Robin, you are looking the leathery.
This is my awesome hacker outfit.
I told you hacking was cool.
Hmm.
You guys can look like this too.
You just have to free your minds.
Do we get more jellybeans?
- No. - Pass.
Fine.
Let me just log us in.
Yo, you ain't supposed to mix up them numbers and letters like that.
Hackers make their own cool hacker names
by replacing certain letters with numbers.
So, your hacker name is...
It's Blaze.
No, it's not.
Are you giggling because Blaze sounds so cool?
Yes, Robin. Blaze is the cool name.
Yes, I knew it!
Now, prepare to enter a virtual world of danger and excitement.
Come with me Titans,
and I'll show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Free your minds.
Hey, this is just your desktop.
- Isn't it awesome? - No.
Look! Ooh, ah.
I'm interacting with this virtual environment.
Hey, what's in here?
Bro, why do you have so many pics with your shirt off?
Those were taken on hot days.
What else you got in here?
Don't make a mess. I have everything organized.
Oh, snaps! You got that new game.
Turn that off. It's going to take up too much memory!
It's cool, bro, I remember this.
- I gots memories for days. - Computer memory.
Let's get some music going up in here.
Stop.
- Ooh, clickety clickety. - Stoppity, stop, stop, stop.
- You're overloading the system. - It's going...
Whoa! What happened?
You crashed the computer with your careless memory management.
You said this would be fun, Robin.
Instead it is the very boring.
Yeah, you should have just let them FBis do this.
But we haven't even gotten to the best part.
The Internet.
Time to log on.
Gross.
Welcome to the worldwide web.
This is where we'll have our awesome hacker battle
with those evil computer pirates.
We just need to find them.
- What's the hold up? - Hmm, seems to be a...
Slow Internet connection.
Did you try turning the modem off for 30 seconds
- and then turning it back on again? - I can't.
- We're on the neighbor's Wi-Fi. - Is that not the illegal?
Not if he didn't set up a password.
Any second now.
Any second.
Yar, har, har!
Pirates!
What a haul, me hardies!
Music, movies, productivity software.
The computer pirates are...
- Pirates? - Let's take 'em down, dude.
What's the point?
This was supposed to be a cool hacker adventure,
not a maritime brawl.
Just let the FBI handle them.
Robin, this is a cool hacker adventure.
You just gots to free your mind, fool.
Free my mind.
I see it so clearly now. This is a hacker adventure!
Download swash buckling software.
- Yar! - Download pirate voices.
Yar, I'll be knowing how to talk like a pirate now.
Download pirate ship.
It's time we throw these scallywags overboard.
Titans, yo, ho, ho!
Time to swab the deck, me hearty.
Hackers off the stern, Captain!
Protect the cargo at all costs, me lads!
I'll be sending you to Davy Jones' Locker.
You'll never stop computer piracy,
it be a victimless crime, after all.
Tell that to the companies losing millions of dollars in revenue.
And the artists who work day and night
who won't see a penny off their hard work.
And the consumers forced to pay exorbitant amounts
for office productivity software.
We did it.
You know what? You were right, dude.
This was a cool, hacker adventure.
You really think so?
Indeed. Thank you for showing us the way,
Blaze.
Yo, them pirates got some good stuffs up in here. Check it.
I guess it would be okay to browse around.
Check out all this music. This is my jam!
Oh, and one could process many of the words with this software.
The Pretty, Pretty Pegasusmovie!
Whoa, who are those cool dudes?
It's the FBI.
You computer pirates make me sick.
Oh, no. We're not...
You're under arrest for possession of stolen software.
Run!