The Grand Canyon.
Nature's biggest hole.
We'll hike, camp and enjoy a little WhiteWater.
Whitewater? Whitewater! Why are you always
trying to relitigate that old Clinton real estate scheme?
Not Whitewater, WhiteWater.
As in rafting on the glorious Colorado river,
that will culminate in us conquering...
Lava falls.
Bleh, I'd rather talk about that real estate scheme.
Don't you want to get some fresh air for once?
Just open a window, dude.
You know these windows do not open!
Oh, that explains the fish smell coming from your room.
Titans, this is an opportunity to challenge ourselves!
Are you cray-cray? Whys would we wanna challenge ourselves?
Why would anyone climb a mountain?
- Because it's there! - That makes no sense at all.
In other words, the Grand Canyon is a metaphor for the void
in his soul that he's trying to fill with superficial experiences.
Ding ding ding.
How abouts you just deal with your own problems
instead of dragging us down in Lava falls!
We have one life to live, Titans! One life.
Do you want to waste it on the couch?
- Of course! Duh. - All right. - The yes.
The yes, yes, please, the yes.
I can see I'm not going to convince you
to join me on this trip of a lifetime.
That's why I'm going to force you!
Welcome, to the...
Grand Canyon!
The beauty!
Ooh, doggie, that canyon is grand.
The ooh. The aah. Ooh, aah,
ooh, aah, and the one more ooh.
Okay, cool, we saw it. Can we go back to the couch now?
No, we can't go back to the couch now,
we're grabbing life by the horns!
One life, guys, one life!
Now, prepare yourselves, we are going to hike
down the narrow canyon trail to the campsite
where we will begin our rafting journey to...
Lava falls.
We gotta do all that just because
you're unsatisfied with your life?
That's right. Titans, hike!
Ah, isn't this amazing?
No!
I'm feeling parched.
Oh, it's so heavy.
Why is I gotta be the dirty mule?
This does not look the safe.
Sometimes you gotta live life on the edge,
- to live life to the fullest. - You go first then.
Gladly! Now watch as I grab life by the...
Uh... think he's okay.
One life!
We made it to the bottom in record time.
Great job, Titans. Now, do you understand
the satisfaction that comes with challenging yourself?
That's great to hear. Tomorrow, we'll take on the river itself.
A poetic battle, man against nature, waged across time.
Well, that poetry battle can wait.
- I gots to use the little boys room. - It's right here.
Uh, that's a suitcase, bruh.
It's not a suitcase, it's a Groover.
Hello, friend Groover, it is the so nice to meet you.
It's a Groover and it's not a person.
And you probably don't wanna touch it.
Will you just tell us where the bathroom is?
You are looking at it.
All right, man, holds up, and let's get this straight.
You is want me to poop in a suitcase?
We willl all be pooping in it. And it is not a suitcase.
That is exactly what it is. It's a poop suitcase.
This is the great outdoors.
There are no bathrooms. So, we have to bring our own.
You said this trip was to challenge us, man!
And I'm challenging you to poop in the box.
It's unreasonable for us to do our business
in a businessman's suitcase, fool.
I ain't no dookie CEO.
You have no choice.
And in related news, tonight I'm making tostadas.
I hate everything about this.
Okay, team, it's time for us to go head to head
with the watery serpent known as...
the Colorado river. Let's go!
Wait. Now wait one doggone minute.
- We is bringing the poop suitcase? - We bring it everywhere.
- Seriously? - One life, Titans! One life.
Come on, man, that doesn't even make sense in this context.
We're grabbing life by the horns.
That is not the justification
to take the boat ride with Mr. Groover.
None of the justification!
Don't worry about the Groover.
We're just going to paddle down the river and enjoy the view.
Look at these rocks, Titans.
- Why would I look at a rock? - Oh, I don't know,
because there are forty layers of rock exposed here.
So much good sediment.
That red orange layer is Hakatai Shale,
which indicates the area was once Mudflats.
Ooh, there's Shinumo Quartzite,
where you can still find fossils of algae and stromatolites.
And this is just the Unkar group of
the Grand Canyon Supergroup, guys. Just the Unkar!
Dude, they're rocks. We get it.
Hows unfulfilled do you gots to be
to pretend to be entertained by rocks?
I don't think you understand.
These rocks represent the entire history of the earth.
Wow. Very interesting.
Are you gonna be talking about rocks the whole trip?
That's right, the whole trip.
Ah, what a day.
We were able to see so many good rocks.
Now, time to unwind at camp,
before facing the final challenge of...
Lava falls.
- What are you guys doing? - We is businessmens.
And we have some business to take care of.
We is got a lot of paperwork to file.
The market correction this morning
could cause our stocks to explode.
I do not understand what they are saying.
Be thankful.
There is a lot of pressure...
from the stock holders.
I suppose we'll have to layoff a portion of the staff.
Stop that! You are not businessmen.
These suitcases says we is.
Ah, look, Titans. Do you see those two red pillars?
Oh, he is talking of the rocks again.
Those two rock formations are the Wigleeva, the legendary
protectors of the Havasupai tribe of Native Americans.
Legend says, if those pillars were to fall,
the canyon would collapse destroying the tribe.
How amazing! Native Americans have such a rich and noble heritage.
Too bads, we stole all their land.
Guys, this is supposed to be an uplifting and inspiring experience,
can we not focus on that?
How are we not gonna focus on that? It's an outrage!
Oh, look at those river currents, eh?
It's like they're dancing on the surface.
You wanna talk about currents when we're staring
at one of the greatest injustices in history?
The shame, the shame!
Yup. And Grand Canyon.
I hope this trip was worth it.
It's been the life-affirming experience I needed.
I looked at rocks. I got to poop in a box with my friends,
and we all tried to ignore some painful history.
There it is, Titans.
L-Lava falls.
The final leg of our journey.
Wait. You want us to raft down there?
- Is you crazy, fool? - Hmm. It does look a little dangerous.
Yes, it does. You know what, we out.
You're really gonna make me do this myself?
No, you still have the friend Groover.
Fine! I'm grabbing life by the horns!
One life!
Ah, so fulfilling...
One life...
- Should we do the helping? - No, no, no, no.
He wanted to be challenged, remember?
One life. One life.
I admit it, Titans.
That whole trip was a dangerous and disgusting waste of time.
At least, now you know, no adventure can fill
that Grand Canyon which resides within your soul.
That's why I'm never going to challenge myself again.
That's the spirit.
Now, you'll have to excuse me,
my partner and I have some business to attend to...
Uh, yeah, you know, things at the office are so backed up...
I had to bring some work home with me.
Taking care of business.
sync & correction by f1nc0 - Addic7ed.com ~