Titans, it's that time of year again!
Ranger cookies!
We love Ranger cookies!
That's right, Titans. For the next month,
we eat with no regard for our cholesterol level.
Mans, I ain't wants no orange box!
- We only want the ones in the green box. - Everyone knows the only
Ranger cookies worth eating are the ones in the green box.
I'm sorry you're disappointed with your free cookies!
But these were the only ones they had.
If you ain'ts holding back on us, why is you so sweaty?
Yeah, I... I suffer from profuse sweating.
Runs in my family.
Get him!
- Just give us the green box! - Never!
They're the only good flavor.
No!
Oh!
Friends, what is the cause of this shameful behavior?
They're eating my Ranger cookies.
Friends, cease your mastication.
It is unacceptable to eat the cookies made from the defenseless rangers.
Chill. These cookies ain't made from rangers.
They're sold by rangers.
- The rangers do not do the rangering? - Mmm, not really.
The whole organization is a front to sell cookies.
It's not a front.
Selling cookies teaches the rangers valuable skills,
so they can be successful in business when they grow up.
Ooh, I have always dreamed of becoming
a successful business alien princess.
May I be the ranger and sell of the cookies as well?
Sure. I don't care.
Joy! When next we meet, I will be the ranger!
Get back here!
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
These cookies go down so easy.
I don't even care what they're doing to my heart.
Can I at least have one?
Sure! You can have one.
Of them other color boxes!
They're an abomination of textures and flavors!
I want the ones in the green box.
Too late!
Greetings, friends!
Aw!
Oh, my goodness gracious. You are a precious angel.
You're going to have so much fun rangering, Star.
The camping, the arts and crafts...
Oh, no, no, no and the no.
Remember, there is no rangering in the rangers.
We exist only to sell of the cookies.
Gots any of them good green boxes?
I have all of the colors!
How much for the green box?
Good luck selling those garbage flavors, Star.
I am the business alien princess. I can do the this.
Buy the cookies! Buy them!
Hmm. Perhaps the subtle approach is in order.
Psst! Excuse me.
The ma'am. The ma'am.
The ma'am.
Now give the monies.
I am the sorry.
And the hopeless.
- How did it go, Star? - I failed to sell the single box.
I fear I shall never become a successful business alien princess.
If you wants to be a business aliens princess,
then you gots to work on them business alien skills, yo.
What are these skills of which you speak?
They're written right here on the box.
Decision making, people skills, and business ethics.
Do you truly believe I could learn of these skills of the business?
Of course! And we can all help teach you.
Joy!
The first skill you need to learn is decision-making.
Quick, make a decision about anything.
- I... - Too late, you already failed the lesson.
You need to act on your decisions quickly and firmly.
Puppies or kittens? Which do you save?
I, uh... The kitties! They are so adorable!
But... But so are the puppies!
Oh, I cannot decide!
Time's up.
Okay, Star, let's get to work on those people skills.
The thing about peoples is, they is dumb.
All yous gotta do is put them at ease with some good eye contact.
Lighten the mood with a fun conversation.
Or blow their feeble minds with a magic trick.
What?
Now, let's try a little role-play.
I'll be the customer, you two sell me cookies.
- What up, my mans? - Good afternoon.
That's some good eye contact right there.
- Puttin' you at ease, ain't I? - I'm gettin' there.
Okay, mama. Now yous join in.
- Would you like to buy of the cook... - What? How dare you?
That's too soon!
I gots to grease this fool with some magic!
- Hey, gummy, pick a card. - Oh, I see how it is.
Pretending to be my friend so you can sell me cookies.
So what? I'm just trying to wet my beak.
I demand to speak with your supervisor!
Well, I ain't giving you his name.
The third and final skill you'll need to learn is
business ethics.
What are the ethics of the business, Robin?
Basically, it means that there are a lot of rules
and laws that cannot be broken. Eh!
And therefore, you should do whatever you can, eh,
to succeed in the business world, eh, eh,
while staying within the confines of the law. Eh, eh!
For instance, while at a family gathering,
your brother-in-law informs you that his company, eh...
is about to make a major technological breakthrough. Eh!
While acting on this tip could make you rich, eh, eh,
you refrain from buying the stock, eh,
because this information, eh,
gives you an unfair advantage, eh, eh,
over other potential investors.
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh!
Ahhh! What are you doing?
You were having the eye problems!
No! I was trying to guide you through the shady practices
- of the business world. Eh? - Oh. Perhaps I am not
the cut out to be the successful business alien princess.
Don't give up, Star. All you need is a little more practice.
Thumbs!
I am a successful business alien princess.
What up, the dude?
Why, it appears you have something behind the ear.
By chance, would you care for the box of the cookies?
Heh, heh!
Friends! I have made the sale!
Yeah, that's what's up!
Great job. Star. We knew you could do it.
Now that I have achieved my goal of selling the one box,
perhaps I can sell the many more!
Listen to the me! Listen!
Shut the mouth hole and open the ear hole now!
I do not care if the government has opened the investigation
into my perfectly ethical business practices! Heh, heh!
You get out there and you sell those cookies or I will end you!
- Hey, Star. Got a minute? - Of course.
You have exactly one minute!
We miss the old Starfire.
Yeah, that sweet little ranger who wasn't being investigated
by the governments all the time.
Also, you jacked up the prices of the cookies in the green box.
- We can't afford them anymore. - The yes!
That was the secret to building the empire.
Cornering the market on the green box and then doubling the price!
But now that I have heard your desperate plea,
it has made me realize
that I can triple the price of the green boxes!
Girl, you done lost your mind!
You have to decide, Star. Us or your cookie empire.
Fortunately, I am quite good at making the decisions now.
So decisive.
Gah, eye contact! Too powerful!
We's being put at ease!
- Is this your card? - Ooh, magic.
- It's over. - If you release me, I will share
the perfectly legal, heh, heh, insider stock tip.
What kinda returns are we talking about? Eh, eh?
Heh, heh!
No one can stop the successful business alien princess.
I didn't wanna do this,
but that's the way the cookies crumble!
No!
Friends, you saved me from the greed and the corruption
I learned from the innocent youth organization.
We're glad you escaped
the clutches of the business world, Star.
It's a shame we had to destroy all of those delicious cookies.
Yo, what's up with your butt, Robin?
Oh, I, uh, put on some extra weight eating all of those cookies.
Holds up, are those...
What... Uh...
- Get him! - Ow, ow! Ahhh!
Whoa! Ow, ow! Ouch!
Stop! Ow, too hard! Ow!
Whoa! Ow! Oh!
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