Season 05 Episode 22 Episode Title: "Tall Titan Tales"
Hello there, Titans.
Uh, what's with the fringe?
Ooh! Are you going to the Outdoor Music Festival?
Do I look like a dirty music enthusiast?
I'm Daniel Boone!
The famous American Frontiersman...
Howdy!
Who fought a grizzly bear hand to paw,
single-handedly settled the State of Kentucky,
and was the only man in history
who was immune to contagious yawns.
That can't be true. No one is immune to yawns. No one!
You are telling the lies.
The lies!
I am not lying. And yet, I am not telling the truth either.
I am telling Tall Tales!
I don't think you're qualified to tell tall tales.
Yeah, bruh. How's about you tell them short tales?
That's pretty funny.
I am a man of average height.
Tall tales aren't literally tall.
They're exaggerated stories about larger-than-life characters
that inspire us to believe in the unbelievable.
Like the story about
a giant lumberjack named Paul Bunyan,
- and his big... - Oh, man,
we love the story of Paul's bunion.
Let us tell this one.
Yo, sit your fringe-butt down,
and listen to this big old tall tale.
Once upon a time,
there was this big lumberjack dude.
I love being a giant lumberjack.
Now here's the deal, yo.
Our Paulie Paul was a big strong lumberjack,
but his boots was too small.
I could chop trees all day
if it weren't for these dang boots!
I should buy new ones.
But they're so expensive.
Now, you all know what happens when you's being cheap,
and you wear some shoes that are too small.
The dude got himself a bunion!
Ow! This really hurts.
It's not Paul Bunion. It's Paul Bunyan.
Right. That's the name he got because of his foot problems.
That bunion got so bad, Paulie Paul couldn't lumberjack no more.
The only good thing in his life
was his favorite pair of warm socks.
At least I still have you, my big green socks.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Paul Bunyan had a big blue ox.
Not big green socks!
Just listen to the story, bruh! Okay,
so Paul was real sad over how his life was turning out.
But what he didn't know, is that his fortunes was about to change forever.
Wassup?
Big Green Socks in the house!
Ooh! Magic socks?
That's right, yo! And check it out!
If you want to get them bunions fixed,
you need to head west
and go see that Good Foot Doctor.
That's a long way to walk without footwear.
Why don't you just buy some of them boots that fit, huh?
Oh, they're too expensive. I'll just go barefoot.
Uh-uh-uh! Why you so cheap, Paul Bunion?
And so, Paul traveled across the Rocky Mountains,
the super hot geysers of Yellowstone National Park,
and the cactus-covered deserts of the American south-west.
Ooh, man!
I'm never gonna make it to see that Good Foot Doctor.
Hey! Pardon me, stranger,
but did you just say you in need of a doctor
that gets on a good foot?
- The Good Foot Doctor! - The Good Foot Doctor!
Tell it to me straight, Doc.
Can you fix my bunions?
Can I make a bad foot
into a good foot? Of course, I can.
I'm the Good Foot Doctor.
And so, that Good Foot Doctor
fixed up Paul and got him back on his feet.
Plus, he knew a good boot guy,
who hooked Paul up with a fresh deal on some new kicks.
This is an acceptable price.
Sold!
So Paul went back to lumberjacking
with his big old green socks and his comfy new shoes.
And, as for Paul's famous bunion,
it went on to own a used car dealership
where the low prices were
bun-believable.
- The end. - Oh,
the wonderful tale of the podiatry.
Don't clap for them. That whole story was bogus.
But are these stories not the lies to begin with?
Tall tales!
Now, please don't derail this next story
about a super-strong railroad man named...
John Henry, the Steel Driving Man! I know that one!
Take a seat, Fringey, and let a tall man tell this tall tale.
So way back in the day,
my man John Henry was building a railroad.
This dude was so strong,
he could whack a railroad spike flat with one swing.
Say, friend, I couldn't help but notice you hard at work.
They don't call me the Steel Driving Man for nothing!
Ta-da!
Well, I thought you might be interested
in purchasing this state-of-the-art steam drill.
This mechanical model can build a railroad in no time flat.
Not interested, dude. No machine can match these muscles.
Perhaps you'd get convinced by a little contest?
Hmm. I'm listening.
You and your hammer versus me and my steam drill.
First to complete the tracks wins. What do you say?
Man versus machine? I say...
The race was on.
John Henry called upon all of his mighty strength,
but he eventually fell behind.
Dang!
Hoo, doggie! That thing really works.
It's precise, it doesn't get tired,
and it doesn't have friends or family to go home to.
Right then, John Henry knew what he had to do.
Hey, salesman dude, I'm convinced.
Let me buy that drill off you.
Sold!
And, boom!
—My dude finished that railroad in no time,
thanks to his wise purchase.
He realized that technology and automation
were the wave of the future.
So when some evil aliens invaded the Earth,
John Henry built five trains
that combined to form the giant robot known as Ultrain.
So, of course Ultrain defeats the alien menace,
but there was a big explosion.
John Henry never returned to Earth.
But they say he's still out there defending the galaxy.
And some times, if you listen real close, you can hear him...
John Henry was not the pilot of a giant train-based robot.
He won the competition,
with only the strength of his muscles,
but worked so hard, he perished right there upon the tracks.
Your version is not true.
I know. That's the point of a tall tale you dum-dum!
I've got one tall tale left to share.
And I would appreciate it if you would let me tell it
with no interruptions.
Oh, definitely, we shall be of the silence.
This is the story of Johnny Appleseed...
I shall tell the tale of the apple planting man.
Long ago, there lived a pioneer man named the Johnny Appleseed,
who lived very much in the out of doors.
Hello, forest animal friends!
He spent much time with the animal friends
and loved them all.
But one day, Johnny noticed
that some animals were making fun of the forest kitty
for being the stinky.
Please! Do not laugh at the forest kitty.
You are hurting of his self-esteem.
But the animals did not listen.
So Johnny made the plan.
He walked across the lands
and planted the apple trees as far as the eye could see.
And just before the apples were ready to fall to the ground,
the Johnny gathered them up,
and went off to find his animal friends.
Friends of the forest, look!
I have brought the apples for the all.
Oh, but you see,
these apples are not for the eating.
They are for the teaching.
We must get out of the here.
When it was all the over,
Johnny marked his stinky friend with the stripe,
to let the other animals know
that he was under his protection.
Yeah, eat apples.
Eat the apples!
And no one ever laughed at the forest kitty cat again,
for they knew that the Johnny Appleseed
was not the one to be trifled with.
Now, that was a tall tale, Star.
Johnny Appleseed never flew in a helicopter
or spray-painted a forest kitty!
You know what? Forget it.
This has clearly been a waste of everyone's time.
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, dude.
Friend Cyborg is correct.
We do not need the tall tales to inspire us.
Your leadership inspires us on a daily basis.
Thank you.
You guys really mean that?
No, fool!
That be another tall tale.
Oh, you should've seen your face!
He is so disappointed!
Howdy!
Sync corrections by srjanapala