Exciting news, Titans.
We're going home?
More exciting than that.
- You're going home? - No!
We are putting on tonight's
campfire.
Why wait till tonight?
Oh, let's get some giggling in here!
Actually...
All right!
This is not a good idea,
or what I was talking about.
Oh, no! Ahhh!
It's out of control.
This is your fault.
You didn't clear a proper ten-foot radius.
I don'ts even know what a radius is. How's I gonna clear one?
This is gonna be millions of dollars in property damage.
The why?
Sorries we ruined your campfire, Robin.
Nothing except the forest has been ruined, Titans.
You see, a campfire is not a pile of flaming wood,
but a mildly entertaining performance
consisting of skits...
And tonight, we get to put one on.
You mean I can finally live out my dreams of being a performer?
I also wish to be the star
and perhaps the moon,
but not ever the Pluto,
for it is not even the planet!
I can't wait to make the crowd laugh.
Now, I've planned it all out.
We'll start with some groan-inducing comedy.
Then it's time for an agonizing sing-along
that is sure to make the audience cringe.
Finally, we'll close out the night
with my very special musical number,
sure to leave everyone asleep by the end.
That's so boring, yo!
It is essential that we stay true
to the traditional boring campfire,
otherwise, we will wake them up.
Who?
The wolves!
The wolves?
Yes. If a campfire audience laughs
and cheers too loudly,
we'll attract wolves!
Hungry wolves.
That will devour us all.
That's why the traditional boring campfire protocol
must be followed.
Wolves.
He made all that up.
He just wants to do his cheesy skits.
Guys, I don't want to be eaten by wolves.
Then it settled. Tonight, we will perform the greatest,
most boring campfire of all time.
- Who's with me? - We are.
Love that low energy, Titans.
We don't want to attract any wolves
with unnecessary enthusiasm.
Do you feel the apathy in the air, Titans?
It is positively the opposite of electric.
Here are the outdated skits and songs for tonight.
Memorize them, and remember,
the performances need to be stilted and forced.
Ew.
This ain'ts even hot garbage. This is garbage.
Guys, do we really want to embarrass ourselves
with this cringey material?
It's either this or be eaten by wolves.
- Up to you. - The wolves!
There are no wolves.
That's right. Let's keep it nice
and boring.
Good evening, campers,
and welcome to tonight's campfire.
We've got a lot of wholesome fun planned,
so get ready to chuckle lightly
and clap politely.
That rhymes.
Oh, who is this?
Look out, the Viper is coming.
The Viper is coming.
Oh, dear, the... The Viper? That sounds menacing.
Well, as I was saying...
Everyone, the Viper is coming.
The Viper is coming.
Ah! Oh, my goodness.
This Viper character certainly has me shaking in my boots.
The Viper is here. The Viper is here.
I am the Viper.
I have come to do the viping
of the vindows.
Thank you, thank you.
There's plenty more bland entertainment
where that came from.
Boom! And that's how it's done.
Dude, that skit was horrible.
Yes, and executed with a perfectly awful performance.
Mediocre job all around, Titans.
Now, I think we've got the audience warmed up
for a little musical number called,
"Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
That's a baby song, yo.
Not the way I sing it.
We'll divide the crowd into three sections
and they'll each start at a different time,
creating a cascading waterfall of harmonies.
It's gonna be so gentle!
I can't wait to hear it.
I ain't singing no "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
I cannot bear to row the boat the once,
much less the three times!
Then let's put on something to get the crowd going.
What about those wolves? I still don't want to get eaten by wolves.
The wolves!
There are no wolves.
Let's just put on a good show.
It is that time in the program where I slow things down
and try to say something profound,
but I'm a small man, plagued by insecurity,
so instead, let's sing a popular baby song.
Now, this section starts when I get to "gently."
The wolves.
Aww!
Under no circumstances is this suppose to be fun!
Do you want to be eaten by...
wolves?
- Do you? - We's think yous just crying wolf, fool.
Then what do you call that?
Wait, I'll tell you. It's a wolf!
Yeah, we're in the forest. That's where they live.
Clearly you are not taking this threat seriously!
Now, we have to go out there
and take the energy way down!
We've got to perform my special musical number.
Ugh!
Man, nobody wants to hear that song.
We are out. Peace!
Wait, wait, wait. What if we did a funny comedy skit instead?
The no.
Would you be interested
if told you there was, uh, toilet humor?
Tell us more.
First, you have promise you'll do it exactly as I say.
Are you sure there's toilet jokes in this skit?
Yes.
- We promise. - Good.
Then I'll tell you all about this little show nonstopper
called The Wee Skit.
Okay, okay. Now we're talking.
Hey, bus drivers lady, I gots to go wee.
You'll just have to hold it.
But we really have to go wee.
Just let us go wee!
No, I told you to go wee before you got on the bus.
But we really gotta go wee.
All right, then, go wee.
Whee!
What a wholesome punchline.
Nah, fool, that ain't the punchline.
This is.
Yeah, yeah. Wee, wee, wee, wee.
I's gonna wee on you.
No. No, no, no.
This is supposed to result in a half-smile at best.
The crowd is going to eat these shenanigans up.
Stop.
Stop spraying me with the hose.
Stop this entertaining showmanship at... Whoa!
Are those...
Wolves!
Zipply Zad. I did not want this!
We can't fight these wolves.
Only one thing can stop these wolves.
My very special musical number!
The wolves, they are doing the cringes.
It's Robin's song.
The wolves can't take it.
Now that's how you take the energy out of a crowd.
Thanks, Robin.
We never could have made the wolves cringe that hard.
I hope you now understand the importance
of making campfires stilted, boring
and cringe-worthy, Titans.
So we don't wake up the wolves.
Or the...
bears!
Bears?
Bears!
Just don't kill us.
Sync corrections by srjanapala