The Family Feud!
Greetings, Titans.
Really?
Control Freak.
What do you want this time, you fiendish futon critic?
To see if you're satisfied with your selection of programming.
We are very satisfied.
The thank you very much.
Well, I'm glad you're happy, because
when I try watching my favorite network,
all I see is garbage.
There's garbage here and garbage over here.
There's garbage everywhere!
We are on the television all of the time.
I guess the network is just giving the people what they want.
And they want us.
What they really want are classic cartoons
like Jonny Quest, Josie and the Pussycats, and Scooby-Doo.
But they're never on because you keep taking up all the time slots.
If those classic cartoons can't stand the competition,
then they don't deserve to be on television.
Competition? Between you and a classic cartoon?
Robin, you just gave me an idea.
Ugh. We hate it when you have ideas.
Too late.
It's time for theFamily Feud.
Introducing for today's feud,
the super hero team that destroyed countless childhoods.
The Teen Titans.
What's going on?
I think we're on Family Feud.
We is definitely on the Feud.
Don't celebrate yet, Titans.
We still don't know what Control Freak has in store for us.
And introducing their competition,
TV's most beloved mystery solvers,
the Scooby gang.
- Like, where are we, Scoob? - Yeah, where are we?
Jeepers. One minute we're being chased by the zombie zamboni
at the old, abandoned ice rink,
and then the next minute we're here.
Jinkies! And here appears to be the set of a game show.
I have a feeling this might be connected
to that devious real estate developer Baron von Billfold.
- Zoinks! - Yeah, zoinks.
Well, we better play along to find out, gang.
They're an even more wholesome good time than I hoped.
They're the coolest. I love you, Scooby-Doo!
Aw, shucks.
Everyone, on your marks, 'cause it's time for the Family Feud.
Now, whichever team wins today's game
will receive a dedicated time slot on network television.
And the losing team will find themselves canceled.
The canceled?
Forever.
Mark my words, Control Freak,
we're going to put an end to this twisted little game show of yours.
If I were you, I'd be focusing on how to win it.
Hey, hey, hey, What are you up to?
We're looking for clues.
I think there's a hidden passageway behind this wall.
Maybe this lever activates a secret trap door.
Why, maybe there's a mysterious hatch that leads to the craps table.
Yeah. Craps table.
Oh, it's so adorable.
Okay, teams, let's play the Feud.
- Good luck. - I'm not shaking your hand.
I don't trust a man who wears an ascot.
What are you hiding, Freddie boy?
Nothing, I swear.
Maybe he's got some of that thick Magnum P.I. chest hair.
You know, the kind that pops out of the collar.
I bet it's one of them embarrassing tattoos.
I believe it is the devious real estate developer
the Baron von Billfold.
Starfire, ew. Keep those thoughts to yourself.
Yeah, to yourself.
I have gone the too far.
Okay, 100 people were surveyed,
and their top five answers are on the board.
Why are the Teen Titans an abomination?
We are not an abomination!
They're not an abomination.
Survey says...
I'm sorry, but that's not one of the top answers.
Fred?
Gee, I just met them,
but, if I had to guess they could be friendlier?
Belligerent jerks.
The number two answer.
- Yes! - And the Scooby gang wins control.
Okay, Daphne, my dear, why do you think the Titans are an abomination?
Jeepers, I'd say...
Uh, I'm sure they have great personalities?
- Good answer. - Show me "freakishly ugly."
All right, Velma, tell us...
I think this billfold knows more
about Baron von Billfold's plan than it's letting on.
Yeah, well, we can get to the mystery later.
Right now, I need your answer.
- Velma, just go along with it. - Fine.
Is it because...
They're a bit noisy?
- Good answer. - Show me "obnoxiously loud."
Shaggy, you're up.
Like, is it because...
Hey, who turned out the lights?
They're not the brightest tools in the deck?
- Good answer. - Is there "stupid, stupid idiots?"
Yeah, it's up there. Okay, Scoob,
if you get this right, your team wins the round.
- Scooby snack. - Good answer. Good answer.
- Oops. - Aah!
I'm afraid "Scooby snack" is not up there.
Okay, Philistines, it's your chance to steal.
We must answer the question correctly or face the elimination.
Don't worry. I know why people think we're an abomination.
It's because they haven't gotten to know us yet.
That's not it, dude.
The correct answer is your baby hands, son.
Mmm-hmm, baby hands.
I am not answering "baby hands."
Time's up, Titans. I need an answer.
Is it because people need to get to know us?
Survey says...
The correct answer was...
Robin's baby hands.
- Which team are you on? - We all knew it.
Congratulations, Scooby gang, you won the round.
Let's move on to round two.
Hey, this is supposed to be one-on-one.
Sorries, bro, but we's one of them good package deals.
- Like us two, right, Scoob? - Yeah, like peanut butter and jelly.
Mmm-hmm, that's right, good answer.
Okay, top five answers are on the board
and here's the next question.
Why is the Scooby gang
so much more entertaining and funny
and all-around better than those
lame, stupid dum-dums, the Teen Titans?
Because of
versatile voice actor Frank Welker.
Like, who's Frank Welker?
Frank Welker is the voice actor
behind all of my favorite cartoon characters.
Megatron from Transformers, Slimer from The Real Ghostbusters,
Fred over there, and even Scooby-Doo.
- Me? - Don't worry.
There's no way our voices come from some guy named Frank.
Is Frank Welker up there?
All right, tell me, Boy Blunder,
why is the Scooby gang so much more entertaining
and funny, and all-around better than you?
I refuse to further debase myself, Control Freak.
So, you forfeit? Great. I'll cancel you right now.
Wait. I'll do it.
Is it because they get along like a real team?
Yeah, you guys are horrible at that.
Is teamwork on the board?
All right, genius. Looking for the top answers on the survey.
Oh, I very much wish to meet this knight.
The Sir Vey.
Hello, I am Sir Vey.
Harrumph. And a good day to you, sir.
Hey, hey. Focus. Your answer.
Is it because the Scooby Doobies always do the right thing?
Is moral compass up there?
Oh, I know the next one. They don't try so hard to be funny.
They're naturally charming.
Because they're way funnier than the Titans.
Okay, goblin boy, or whatever you are.
It's all on you.
I think it's because they're always eating these good snacks.
Good answer.
Ooh, I'm afraid that's completely wrong.
Okay, Scooby gang,
if you get this right, you win the game
and the Teen Titans will finally be canceled.
- I'm getting nervous about it. - I totally agree.
Is it because we're not the Teen Titans?
- Good answer. - Survey says...
The number one answer.
Yes! All right!
So sorry, Titans,
but you don't go home empty-handed.
You get a family-sized fun pack of canceled!
Run!
Ooh! I'm always in the mood for a good Scooby-Doo-style chase.
Please. That old rug gag never works.
Hallway gag. Classic!
I never get tired of this.
I forgot how much running was involved in these chases.
Got him. Nice work, gang.
You lose, Control Freak.
No one is being canceled today.
Well, on the bright side,
I get to get unmasked by the Scooby gang.
- Ew. - Normally we would,
but you're awfully greasy.
Like, I never thought I'd say this,
but I think I just lost my appetite.
Me too.
Don't feel bad you never figured out this mystery.
Our show can be a little out there.
I think I have a pretty good hunch, actually.
We were inserted into this episode as a cheap ratings ploy,
and the Teen Titans are merely trading on the Scooby gang's good name.
Like, I bet this Frank Welker guy would not approve.
Uh-uh.
Well, gangs, looks like we can go back to our respective worlds.
Not so fast, Freddie boy.
There is still one unmasking left to do.
Wait! No!
Baron von Billfold?
Yes, and I would have gotten away with it
if it weren't for you meddling Titans.
Jeepers, Fred, how could you? Jeepers.
Look, gang, I was gonna tell you... eventually.
- Scooby Dooby Doo. - Scooby Dooby Doo.
Sync corrections by srjanapala