Ha-ha!
I said, "bat," like Batman!
And "scouts," like, scouts.
What are these bat scouts?
- The best youth organization in all of Gotham,
which molds children into upright citizens
of vigilante justice.
Through hard work, diligence, and emotional neediness,
we collect badges to ascend the Bat Scout ranks,
leading up to the bravest rank of them all,
the Caped Crusader.
You gots to be brave to rock them shorty shorts.
These aren't shorts. They're just pants I've outgrown.
Man, you are way too old to be a Bat Scout.
Yes, I am. But, I still haven't achieved the highest rank,
and for that, I need your help.
- We don't like helping you. - You must!
The last badge I need is
- the Under my Wing badge.
If I teach you the Bat Scout way,
I can finally attain the rank of...
Caped Crusader.
- No thank you. - Please!
Why do you care? It's just a dumb badge.
Hmm. It's more than a badge.
Look at all the things the scouts have taught me.
Gargoyle Crouching,
Batsket Weaving,
Falling for the Enemy!
If I could get that final badge,
I would feel like I accomplished something important.
That is the touching.
- Then you'll help me? - Of course not.
Sorry, dude, it sounds super boring.
Oh, well, I just thought you'd want to help catch a... Gotham criminal.
A Gotham criminal!
- You mean like The Joker? - Bane?
Poison Ivy?
The Face that is the two-two-two faces into one?
Something like that.
As a Bat Scout, it is your moral obligation
to tame the criminal element.
I can't wait to take on Batman's rogues' gallery!
Nobody is tougher than those guys!
We will be the legendary!
So what's we waiting for?
Looking sharp, Titans.
And you've already earned your first badge.
The Suit-up Montage.
All right!
I am killing this look, yo!
This be some mailman realness!
- Ho, ha, ho, ha!
What are you doing?
We're sashaying.
- That uniform is a symbol of dignity.
There will be no sashaying, voguing, or dancing.
Unless it is the Batusi.
I told you this would be fun.
- Yeah.
Does this mean we can now do the busting of the criminals?
Not until I train you all in the skills of a Bat Scout.
Oh, come on. Let's just get to the good stuff.
These skills are the good stuff.
Knot tying, disappearing behind people's backs.
Batusi-ing.
- Ooh, uh, uh, uh, oh. - Stop that.
So once we do all this boring stuff,
then we shake down the bad guys?
Yes. But first, the boring stuff.
Bat Scouts, go!
The first skill we shall learn is...
The Knot!
An essential tool of criminal apprehension.
Tied correctly, you can hang perps off a building
for the authorities to discover later.
Ah, that's smart.
Whoa!
Let me down, fool.
- Who would like to begin?
How about you, Starfire?
Shall we tie the knot?
I would rather the not!
Uh, that's uh, that's very clever.
But to be a Bat Scout,
you must master Knot Tying.
I already the have.
I have made the knot of the friendship.
How's a friendship bracelet going to take down perps?
I will not give them one,
which will then make them too sad for the further crimes.
That will not work in Gotham City!
Then you do not need the knot of the friendship.
- Cool. - Well, all right!
It's made with love.
I want one!
- Ah-ha!
My misdirection has done the payoff.
Well done, Star, I'm on my way to being a Caped Crusader.
To be a Bat Scout, you must sound like Batman.
Uh, what was that?
I said...
I don't understand a word coming out of your mouth.
It doesn't matter, because I sound intimidating.
It sounds like you had just woken the up.
I sound like Batman!
ham sandwich.
Did you just ask for a ham sandwich?
I sent an intimidating message to villains everywhere.
Now you try.
We's almost done, right?
You'd think so.
A Bat Scout doesn't just move in shadow, they become a shadow.
Is this the thing where Batman disappears behind people's backs when they're not looking?
No!
It's a little rude to disappear before a conversation is over.
It's not rude. It's shadow skills.
Ooh, ah. Too, hoo!
Nah, it seems rude.
Can the Batman not just say the goodbye?
Is he too cool to be the polite!
It's not about being cool!
It's about cultivating an air of mystery.
So rude!
The rude!
Who taughts you them bad manners, fool?
Just trying to be mysterious.
Now is the moment you have been waiting for.
We get to take out Batman's greatest villains!
The Joker!
I wants my man the Penguin.
Can't wait to tangle with Catwoman.
Well, heh, not them.
What! The only reason we's agreed to do this
was to takes them down.
Batman has already locked them away in Arkham Asylum.
Besides, they're much too dangerous for Bat Scouts.
So there's no crime fighting?
We'll be fighting crime...
like a purse snatcher! Or maybe a litter bug.
See? Criminals everywhere.
And you get to take them down.
I don't see any criminals.
It's just some fools waiting for the bus.
Ah-ha! But, that's where you're wrong.
The jaywalker is a most elusive criminal.
They could be anyone. It could be him.
Or her. Or him.
Your training has all led up to this.
Ooh, ooh, ooh! The suspense.
So, all he needs to advance is for us to take down a criminal, right?
What's you thinking about, sneaky mama?
Why wait for the rogues gallery, when we can go to them?
Or them! Who do you think it is, Titans?
Huh? Titans?
Oh, I get it.
Great job disappearing behind my back.
We are learning a lot here.
This is the jailbreak!
Come on, perps, scram!
Move it, be free, do crimes!
That's not a crosswalk.
Just one more step and it's jaywalking time.
How did Batman's greatest villains escape Arkham?
- We let 'em out, dude. - You what?
You said we could fight Batman villains, Robin.
And if our badge is for catching criminals,
then thems the biggest criminals there is.
- Friends, let us defeat the gallery of the rogues. - Wait!
This is going to be the greatest day of my life!
Why?
Those guys are tough.
We cannot defeat them.
Sorry, Robin, looks like you'll never be a Caped Crusader.
It's not over yet.
You just have to fight them as Bat Scouts!
Remember everything I've taught you.
Bat Scouts, go!
Bam!
Get intimidated, fools!
I'm gonna get you.
What's over there?
- Huh? - Ha-ha!
Let us not fight, new friend.
- Ooh!
The psyche!
In your the face!
Well done, Titans!
You've truly earned the title "Bat Scouts."
It appears we are not the only ones who have done the earning.
I'm finally a Caped Crusader!
Congrats!
Thank you, Titans. I couldn't have done it without you.
Yous welcome, bro.
We're proud of you, Robin.
Even though you're way too old—
Everyone, Batusi!