This is it, Titans.
Today, we will determine, once and for all,
who is the dumbest Teen Titan!
You're dumb.
- No, You are. - Nah-uh. You's dumb.
You're both dumb.
- No, you are. - No, you!
You!
Stop it! This is supposed to be a civil conversation
about who is the biggest dum-dum.
Well, it's not me.
Ain't no one's gonna tell me that I's the dumb one.
You're all dumb!
Knock it off! Clearly, words have failed us.
There's only one way to settle this.
Thumb War.
Thumb War!
One, two, three, four! We declare a Thumb...
Stop!
Friends, please. You must not declare the armed conflict
upon one another. It is the road to doom!
Doom!
Chill, Star. This not be a real war.
I said, "The doom!"
- Star! - Doom!
Okay, crazy. It's not that big a deal.
We're just talking about thumbs.
The least important of all extremities connected to the hand.
They's all short and stubby and hairy in weird places, like Robin.
The thumbs may be the small and the hairy,
but they are the smartest part of the human body.
Some call them the dolphins of the hand.
This wonderous digit is what separates us from the animals.
Mwah!
But them raccoons got thumbs.
But our thumbs are the opposable.
And given the chance, they will oppose us.
Star, Thumb War is just a game.
Nothing bad'll happen.
Oh-ho-ho-oh, no! That is what Neville Chamberlain said
of the annexation of Austria in the 1938.
And then came the soldiers marching and the tanks rolling
and soon it was The World Of The War, Part The Two!
Show of thumbs, all in favor of ignoring Starfire.
- Aye! - All opposed.
- The nay. - The "ayes" have it.
Let the Thumb Wars begin!
Thumb War!
No one can beat my blue-collar underdog thumb.
Hey, yo, I don't ever give up!
Adrian!
Wait till you meet my thumb.
He's been genetically engineered to destroy.
I will break your joints!
They's got nothin' on my green thumb.
Thumb crush!
Amateurs!
I've got this in the bag.
'Cause no one will suspect a cute little baby.
Friends, I beg of you, extend to each other the olive branch of peace.
Eh! Olives are boring.
And so is peace.
Your thumbs are not ready to face the consequences of war.
Ah, she's right.
We need to train them to be bloodthirsty warriors first.
This Thumb War is gonna go down in the history books, baby!
Thumb crush!
Yes! Yes!
Yo, yo, yo, Adrian.
Thumb happy!
Yes, we're ready!
It's time for Thumb War!
This is it, Titans!
The Thumb War to end all Thumb Wars!
One, two, three, four! We declare a...
Halt! There must be no war!
Hey, yo, why are you talking all funny?
Because she is the Swiss.
The Swiss peoples are the neutral in the armed conflict.
Yes, let us talk of peace
while we enjoy the delicious Swiss cheese.
No peace cheese!
Baby want to war!
I beg of you, reconsider.
One, two, three, four! I declare a thumb peace!
That didn't even rhyme.
Argh! None of the numbers rhymes with peace.
There will be no peace today!
One, two, three, four! We declare a Thumb War!
Adrian!
Aw, you wouldn't hurt a cute little baby.
Please, friends, this must stop!
Think of what you're putting your thumbs through.
Star, they just be thumbs.
Yeah, why do you care so much about 'em?
Have you forgotten?
They are the dolphins of the hand.
Uh, no one calls 'em that.
They are the crafty and the opposable.
And if you continue, they will oppose us.
Pshh! Right...
You's a person of ridiculous ideas, Star.
My thumb! I can't control it!
Uh, what... What's going on?
I don't like this, man.
Starfire was right!
We've had enough.
Hey, yo, we ain't gonna fight each other no more.
This is ridiculous. Thumbs can't talk.
- Oh, yes, we can. - We are very smart.
We are the dolphins of the hand.
And we smash you now!
Thumb friends, wait!
We can still end this in the amicable fashion,
just like when the Lord Halifax
tried to negotiate the secret peace treaty in the 1937
before the outbreak of the war.
Choose the peace! Eat of the cheese!
No cheese!
Only war!
There's only one option left.
We have to declare war on our own thumbs.
One, two, three, four!
We declare a Thumb War!
I don't like this, yo!
War be garbage.
I just wanna go back home to my girls!
Get it together!
Our thumbs could be anywhere, waiting to strike.
What was that?
I thinks they's trying to sneak up on us, bro.
Ambush!
Retreat!
I think we lost 'em.
Wait. What's that?
No. It can't be.
Take cover!
No!
Stop!
Thumbs, please. This cannot go on.
You bet it can!
You can't negotiate. You got no leverage.
I can give you what you want.
You are the dolphins of the hand.
But you can just be the dolphins
with none of the hand.
You mean, we can be free of the hand and live our lives
as scholars of the sea?
Yes, but you must first cease the fire and sign the treaty of the peace.
Very well.
I am so the happy that the peace has won the day.
Ugh, war ain't never done nobody no good.
And now, the promised reward.
Azarath Metrion Zinthos.
We're free!
You are now free to pursue the intellectual activities.
Yo, Adrian.
Going to round two!
And thank you, Swiss Thumb,
for without your wisdom, the war would not have ended.
I will miss you.
What a nice ending.
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