Theme music playing...
Episode Title: "Space House" Aired on: May 31, 2021.
Wow!
Look at that view.
Out of this world!
Just like the invitation said it would be.
Speaking of which, we still have no idea
who invited us on this free vacation
or where we're even going.
Do not look into the mouth of the horse
that gives you the gifts.
Got it. We'll just throw caution to the wind
as usual.
This house is so high-tech.
- It's got a 3 - D printer snack machine.
Don't be playing with me, Cy!
I'm not playing with you. Check it!
- Burger. - Burrito.
- Burger! - Burrito!
Burgerrito!
Thank you, Space House!
You're welcome.
Whoa! Who said that?
The House. I'm talking.
Space House is alive?
Space House, identify yourself!
Of course.
I am Space House Artificial Domestic Intelligence.
Or S.H.A.D.I. for short.
I am voice activated
and I control everything in this house.
Space House. Open cabinet.
Sweet.
Attention, Titans,
the other guests have just arrived.
The other what now?
You weren't the only ones
from the only universe to get an invitation.
Other guests from another universe?
Titans, ready yourselves.
We have no idea
what's about to walk through that space door.
The DC Superhero Girls!
What's up?
Ah! The sigh of relief.
We do not have to destroy them.
And we need not destroy you.
Which we totally could
because there's just more of us.
No. We would still win in a fight.
You, for instance, are definitely no match for me.
Oh, is that right? You don't say.
Um, yes.
I'm better than you at probably everything.
Oh, yeah?
- Back flip. - Triple back flip.
A 3-D printer snack machine!
I know, right!
Does it have a Non-GMO setting?
Oh, yeah. Nows you speaking my language.
- Totally better. - Totally not.
We will have a great time together
on our space-cation.
Nothing is going to ruin it for us.
Isn't that right, Batgirl and Robin?
Fine. Yeah, Okay.
Actually, even a small meteorite
could ruin it for us.
Uh, here we go.
That's all it would take to shatter that glass dome
and suck all of us out into that
cold dark void of space.
Don't listen to Bumblebee.
She has lots of irrational fears.
Attention, guests.
What foul bewitchery is this?
There is no bewitchery.
That is the S.H.A.D.I.
The house is the artificially intelligent.
I am happy to inform you
that it is time to pick your bedrooms.
There's only one way to do this fairly.
Everyone for themselves!
I get the room with the view!
Wow!
I get the room with no gravity!
We get the room with toilet beds
'cause we eats too many printer foods.
Yeah. We don't need our privacy.
Mmm-hmm. That'll do just fine.
Cool! Water bed!
Whoa. Seasick.
Yeah. Thick walls.
Good. Won't be able to sleep-fly through these.
I'll take this room.
The entertainment system of this room
features the holograms.
Let us see a projection from my home,
Themyscira.
Kitty!
I take it you like cats.
Well, I guess that leaves me with the only room left.
Not exactly cozy.
Actually, exposed ceilings
and metallic finishes are all the rage right now.
But, there's actual smoke in here.
It's probably just a therapeutic humidifier.
Well, I don't like it one bit!
Oh, here we go again.
What?
Another one of your irrational fears.
What...
This fear is totally rational!
I mean, look at this room.
That is a legit cryotube.
Ah. That's just a space lava lamp.
Bumblebee, you have to learn to master your fears.
A certain caped crusader taught me that.
Who was it? Batman? It was Batman, wasn't it?
He taught me that, too.
He taught me first.
I smelled his cowl once.
Well, I do his taxes.
- I polished his Bat forks. - He lets me...
I think there's something in there.
Did you see that?
One, two, three, four.
I declare a thumb war.
Good night.
Ah... All this smoke
is making my throat dry.
Danger alert! Danger alert! Danger alert!
Bumblebee! What's wrong?
There's an alien in the house.
He's big and purple and blue,
and like I said, it's in the house!
Oh, Bumblebee.
There you go with your irrational fears, again.
There are no aliens in the house.
Oh, yeah! Then what about that?
Whoa. A slime trail.
Huh. I guess there is an alien in the house.
- Perfect! - Perfect?
It's the perfect opportunity
to master your fears.
That's true.
If you can master your fear
of a terrifying alien from space,
you can master any fear.
But some fears don't need to be mastered.
Some fears keep you alive.
We should hide.
No. We'll track it down and face it head on.
You can do this, Bumblebee.
I bee-lieve in you.
Then it's settled.
We'll track down the alien and we'll do it
using my superior detective skills.
- I found a clue! - What?
According to my scanner,
the slime is derived from a creature of asterozilic nature.
Good work, Batgirl.
That's nothing. Watch this.
A detective's greatest tool
is the tongue.
It's fresh.
It's definitely fresh!
I don't think you should be licking alien slime.
Found another clue
'cause I'm the greatest detective ever!
What? Wait. I'll taste it.
I think we're getting closer.
Hey. What's going on?
And why is Robin eating slime?
He's trying to prove he's the better detective.
Also, interesting side note...
There's an alien in the house!
I found it!
That thing looks like it could do some damage.
We're gonna need some armor.
Ah, yes.
Check this thing out!
I can't fit.
It's way too small.
There's only one person that could get in there.
Oh, no, no, no, no way!
The powerlifter suit is tiny.
You're the only one who could fit.
Plus, it's the perfect opportunity
for you to master your fears.
Ugh. Fine.
You got this, Bumblebee!
I hope she's safe in there.
Uh... Robin...
Are you all right?
No!
I don't think he's all right.
Master my...
fears.
Excuse me, roomie.
Uh, what's happening?
I was coughing, so I went to get a drink of water
and then there was an alien in the house,
so I got in the powerlifter because I was the only one small enough
and then Robin mutated and they both attacked me,
so now I'm going to throw one of them into space.
Okay.
How do I know which one to hurl into space?
I'm Robin.
Hmm.
Oh, come on.
Curse that invitation
for a free vacation!
Wow. This is way more comfortable
than that water bed.
And I can even breathe underwater now.
I finally have a superpower.
Batgirl must be so jealous.
Hey, Bumblebee. How jealous do you think she's gonna be, huh?
Maybe Starro wasn't so bad after all.
Yeah, but you have no superpowers.
Ah! The incomprehensible
majesty of the Orion Nebula.
Just look at that stunning...
No, thanks. We busy.
It's time to announce
the baker with the best blueberry muffins.
And the winner is...
Robert.
All right. The hurray!
Anti-gravity rooms,
hologram machines,
incredible views of the galaxy
and all you wanna do on your once-in-a-lifetime spacecation
is watch Muffin Wars?
Space House, off.
Ugh. Someone click next episode.
I don't want to watch the credits.
Yeah. Who cares about acknowledging
other people's accomplishments? Give me the remote.
But it's so far away.
I got it.
Thanks, Green Lantern. That was a close one.
That's one powerful ring you got there.
I know, right? I can create anything I can imagine with it.
Power. Ooh.
Can I try it on?
Beast Boy, don't be rude.
Yeah. You don't ask somebody you barely know
to try on their personal effects.
What's wrong with you?
Sorry, Beast Boy,
but Power Rings are only to be worn by members
of the Green Lantern Corps.
But Beastie wants it.
He wants the shiny green Power Ring.
He needs it. Lets him have it.
What has gotten into you, man?
And why are you talking in the third person?
I don't know.
It's the ring. It's making me crazy.
It's okay. Power can have that sort of effect on people.
Especially people with limited brain capacity.
This ring is actually so powerful,
that I have to recite an oath everyday
just to remind myself of how powerful it is.
I love a good oath. Let's hear it.
I, Jessica Cruz, of the Green Lantern Corps,
pledge to respect the incredible power
of this super powerful Power Ring.
The power...
The power!
Beastie must haves it.
And because it is so powerful...
Hey! My Power Ring!
It's Beastie's power.
The power is mine!
Give me my Power Ring back!
Never!
My ring!
Where did it go?
Well, this is my magic hat,
so it disappeared. But never fear,
I, Zatanna, will retrieve it.
Sorry.
Huh. This is embarrassing.
You know what, sometimes it's just rabbits all day long.
- I'm going in. - In the hat?
Oh, no, no, no, no. You do not want to do that.
You've never gone in your magic hat before?
No way!
My hat is very, very magical.
Look. There's even a warning label.
The ring...
I must haves the ring.
Oh, no. I'm definitely going in.
Jess!
I do not know what is in this hat,
but I know I have to help my friend.
- I'm going in. - Me, too.
I just want to see what it looks like in there.
Titans! Our help is needed.
Superhero Girls, likewise!
Eh. They can probably handle it, right?
I mean, we don't all need to go in, do we?
Nah. It'd be overkill
and way too many characters to keep track of.
Then it's settled. Due to production constraints,
we'll stay here and watch more Muffin Wars!
Yay!
Now back to Muffin Wars...
Look at this place.
Everything is very magical here,
so be careful what you touch.
Whoa!
Ooh!
Okay. Stop messing around.
Does anyone see my ring?
It's gotta be here somewhere.
Look! On top of that house of cards.
Or, more like mountain of cards.
My ring!
My ring.
Beastie must haves it.
Beast Boy! Get back here!
Let us make haste.
We cannot let your bestial friend get to the mountain first.
Okay. But keep your eyes open.
It could be dangerous in here.
I feel so vulnerable.
Without my ring, I'm completely useless as a hero.
Hey! Sounds like someone's
in need of an uplifting speech.
Uh, what now?
True power isn't found in magic rings.
Take me, for example.
I have no powers whatsoever.
You might even say
I'm a useless lump of dead weight.
Yeah, you might say that.
But you'd be wrong!
True power comes...
Help me!
Sorry.
I wouldn't normally require this much help.
Just remember, Jess.
True power comes...
Look! It's Beast Boy!
Must haves it.
Beastie must haves it.
After him!
We're trapped
inside a giant magic box!
You mean the kind that magicians stick swords...
That would be a "yes."
I really wish I had my Power Ring right now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Were you not listening before?
I think someone needs a recap.
All you need to be super
is to reach deep within your...
Thank you, all of you.
Because it required all of you to keep me safe.
That's how helpless I am without my Power Ring.
Look! The mountain of cards.
We've made it at last.
The ring... Beastie must haves the ring.
We can't let him beat us to my ring.
We will never catch him.
The little beast scurries much too fast.
Got any tricks up your sleeves, Zatanna?
Oh! Of course. I'm a magician.
That'll do.
To the top of that mountain!
Whoa!
Oh! There it is. My ring!
Careful! This mountain of cards is very unstable.
My precious.
- Beast Boy, no. - Beastie, yes.
Give me my Power Ring!
Never!
Be careful!
A house of cards always eventually...
falls.
Precious...
My ring! Where's my ring?
Beastie tries it on...
just one time.
No!
The power of the Power Ring is too powerful for him.
It's really messing with his own superpowers.
I think he's trying to use the ring to create a weapon.
What kind of weapon can he create with that thing?
Anything!
The only limit is his own imagination.
A tater tot. That's the limit of his imagination?
Hmm. Pretty much.
It is very effective.
I will give him that.
Run!
Azarath Metrion...
This is all my fault.
And I can't even help
because I'm nothing without my Power Ring.
Oh... Come on.
Have you not learned a thing?
Recap!
Every superhero...
"True power isn't found in magic rings.
"All you need to be super
"is to reach deep within your..."
Reach in deep.
That gives me an idea.
Raven! Summon a portal,
so that I can reach inside the magic hat
- from the outside. - Got it.
Gotcha!
Wonder Woman, quick! Use your lasso.
On it.
Pull harder!
My precious!
The ring is secure.
All right.
Is that you, Beastie?
I shall do the hugs and the squishies.
See, Jess? A true hero
doesn't need powers after all.
You were right, Robin.
But having a Power Ring certainly doesn't hurt.
I, Jessica Cruz, of the Green Lantern Corps,
pledge to respect the incredible power
of this super powerful Power Ring.
And because it is so powerful,
I will always hold its power tight
and never let anyone take its powerful
powerfulness away!
Especially not Beast Boy.
I don't think that'll be a problem anymore.
My precious.
Man, I love chilling in this Space House.
It's so relaxing.
I, too, am feeling the very relaxed.
Ah, there's nothing like sitting around, watching TV
while floating through space.
It is certainly a relief
to not be burdened with unforeseen negative circumstances.
Warning, warning!
What is wrong, Space House?
A giant meteor is headed this way.
That is the wonderful news.
A giant meatyor sounds the delicious.
No, Starfire, he said meteor,
not meat-yor.
I do not understand the difference.
Meteors aren't made out of meat.
It's hard to believe, but Starfire is right.
This meteor is totally made out of meat.
We must do something about that meteor before it destroys us.
I know exactly what to do.
First, we need to become rugged oil drillers.
Then, we need to dress up like astronauts
and walk real slow and dramatic, like, towards our space shuttle.
After some emotional goodbyes,
we blast off into space,
and plant a bomb deep inside that meteor
and blow it to pieces.
Wait, isn't that just the plot of that dumb asteroid movie?
You mean Armageddon?
The greatest, most implausible movie of all time?
The Armageddon with all the sappy Aerosmith songs
and starring America's favorite apathetic action hero, Bruce Willis?
Yes. Yes, it is.
Yeah, didn't that dude die at the end of that movie?
Yeah, but he got to ride the bomb like a horsey.
Ugh, that sounds like a terrible idea, Cyborg.
The three of us shall come up with a better plan using our heads.
But we've only got one shot at this.
How can we be sure your ideas are gonna work?
You can test them out in the holographic chamber.
That is the brilliant idea, Space House.
And I've got just the plan.
Does it involve slow-motion walking and dramatic music?
No, no, no, no. It's much more sophisticated.
I'm gonna fly over that meteor and destroy it with my fists.
Ingenious!
Take this!
See, guys? I knew my plan would work.
No, it didn't.
You just pounded that meteor into a giant meat butt.
Well, then, what about this?
Now it is the flame-broiled meat butt.
No, you have turned it into the frozen meat butt.
Space House, end simulation.
I can't believe that didn't work.
It's okay, Kara,
because I know how we can solve our problem.
No, Cyborg, we are not doing your Armageddon plan.
- Oh, man! Can we at least rock out to some Aerosmith? - Never!
Friends, what if instead of destroying the meteor,
we lived upon it instead?
That's a great idea.
Then, perhaps, we should test it out.
I don't know, Star. This place looks pretty empty.
Do you really think we can live out here?
Indeed. All this place needs is the small amount of the elbow grease.
Check it out, guys. I built these cozy little meat cottages.
And I have built this relaxing meat gazebo.
I built this meat bowling alley.
And I have built the meat DMV,
which shall only be open from the 9:00 to 5:00,
and closed on major holidays.
Tell me, Cyborg, is our new home not the adorable?
I think it stinks.
Our new home does not the stink.
Yeah, it does. I think the meat is starting to go bad.
Friends, I think our smelly situation has attracted some visitors.
Oh, no! Are those...
Meat bears?
Space House, cease this simulation.
Terrific. That plan didn't work either.
It is obvious now that there is only one person who can save us.
- Steve Trevor. - What?
You're seriously gonna take advice from that dude?
He doesn't know the first thing about drilling for oil.
Correct. Steve Trevor has a military background,
and is one of the most brilliant men I know.
Plus, Diana has got a huge crush on him.
Kara, please. We are dealing with a major crisis here.
I do not have time for romance.
Steven.
Snap out of it, Diana.
You and Steve are supposed to be coming up with a plan,
not going on some virtual date.
You are right, Kara. Steve and I shall come up with a plan...
right after dessert.
Yeah! Awesome!
Congratulations. I am the so very happy for you.
Me, too. I'm sorry. I just get so emotional at weddings.
Now are you and Steve gonna come up with a plan?
We're running out of time.
Yes, we shall come up with a plan...
after we cut the cake.
Congratulations on purchasing the new home.
Thank you, and we apologize that it took so long.
Yeah, I was starting to think you would never get out of virtual escrow.
Will you come up with a plan already?
Yes, Kara, we shall get started on it right away.
Space House, end simulation.
Warning, warning! Meteor impact imminent.
Oh, no! We are almost out of the time.
Then can we please move forward with my idea?
I suppose we do not have any other choice.
There is no time to run another simulation.
Great! Let's do this.
Argh! Why are we wasting all this time drilling for oil?
Because we have to get good at drilling,
so we can dig a hole deep enough to
plant a bomb inside that meteor
and blow it up like they did in the movie.
Couldn't we just use our superpowers to dig that hole?
No, silly. They didn't use superpowers in that movie.
Now get back to work.
Nice work, team. I think we're ready to launch.
It is a good thing we decided to walk slowly.
Yeah. Slipping on a wet floor is dangerous.
Not to mention the embarrassing.
Cyborg, wait. I can't lets you go without saying goodbye.
I's gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you too, Beasty.
You be careful up there, big guy.
Don't worry. I'm only about to fly through space
with a nuclear bomb strapped to forty tons of rocket fuel.
What could possibly go wrong?
Diana, status report.
T-minus five minutes until touchdown.
Then there's just enough time to do the most important thing of all.
Ride this bomb like a horsey.
Cyborg, get off that nuclear weapon
before it blows us to smithereens.
It's fine. They did it in the movie.
But you were supposed to be piloting the ship.
Will you two calm down?
It's called empty space for a reason.
It's not like we're gonna hit anything.
What was that?
We're drifted into a patch of space debris
which has damaged both of our engines.
Oh, man!
Somebody really should be piloting this thing.
Cyborg!
Not now. I need to make an emergency landing.
We're alive. Damage report.
The good news is, the bomb is still intact.
But the bad news is, the remote detonator has been destroyed.
Which means somebody is going to have to stay behind
to trigger that weapon.
- Not it. - No, Kara.
I believe the honorable solution
is to draw straws.
That won't be necessary.
I'll be the somebody that stays behind.
Are you sure about that, Cyborg?
Yes, I'm sure.
It was my dumb idea that got us into this mess.
I realize now that I shouldn't look to Hollywood for ideas.
I should just use my head.
No! Not like this, bro.
I so upset!
I gots to listen to some Aerosmith, yo.
Ouch.
Sing that song, Steven Tyler.
You's my only friend now.
We're sorry for the way things turned out, Beast Boy.
But we have brought you back something that will surely cheer you up.
Whaddup, my man?
Cyborg, you's alive!
But I thought somebody had to stay behind to trigger that bomb.
That's right, and some body did stay behind.
Mine.
You know what, gang?
I am so glad we all decided to vacation at this Space House.
And who cares
that we were invited under "suspicious circumstances"?
This place is the best!
Attention. Attention
We will be arriving at our destination in just a few moments.
No way!
I didn't realize our vacation home was also a cruise ship.
This is so cool!
Can anybody guess where we're headed?
The Emerald Forest of Oa.
The Fire Springs on Tamaran?
I hope we're headed to that good space beach.
Wherever our destination may lie,
I am sure it will be enjoyable.
Ooh, check out all those houses.
And each one is filled with heroes and villains.
I could have shared a house with Batman?
Come on!
Space House, can you please tell us what is going on?
Why don't you come outside and I'll show you.
Hello, Titans.
You've actually already met me
though my nifty AI unit, S.H.A.D.I.,
but now allow me to officially introduce myself.
I am Brainiac.
The multi-verse's most brilliant mastermind!
What's the meaning of this?
For years, I have been collecting heroes and villains
from across the multi-verse
by offering them the one thing they want most.
A free vacation!
And now that you are here, my collection is finally complete.
I am ordering you to let us go.
Forget it. The all-powerful Brainiac listens to no one!
Brainiac, you get over here this instant, young man.
Who's that?
My mom.
So act cool.
What is it, Mother?
You forgot to clean your room again.
I'm sorry, but I've been really busy lately.
With what? You're just down there playing with your little toys.
These people aren't toys, Mother.
They're collectibles.
Did you at least remember to put on some clean underwear?
You know, this is getting really awkward, Brainiac.
Maybe we should wait inside.
Stop embarrassing me, Mother.
I'm an inter-galactic super-villain.
More like an inter-galactic disappointment.
Look at you. You're a full-grown Android
who still lives with his mother.
I told you I'm working on moving out.
How? You got no money, no job, and no girlfriend.
It's time for you to grow up.
I think it's time we ended this conversation.
Wow, and I thought I had family issues.
My mother just doesn't get it.
I've tried acting more grown up,
but being an adult is really hard.
Then maybe we can help you.
I'm listening.
We'll teach you how to act grown up.
In exchange, you shall let us go.
Deal. I'll do anything
to get my mother off my back.
Okay, Brainiac,
we're going to help you find a new career.
And do you know what you need to get a good job?
Academic credentials, letters of recommendation,
and a polished resume?
Nah, son. A handshake.
Because a handshake is the key to making a good first impression.
Now, when givin' a handshake,
make sure the webbing that connects your thumb and forefinger
connects with the webbing of the other person.
Don't you be giving nobody no finger shake.
You gots to commit to that handshake, son.
Also, make sure your hand is dry.
Don't nobody want that swamp hand.
Wipe that sweat off, boo.
And under no circumstances
should you ever give a weak handshake.
Nobody wants to feel like they're
shaking hands with a dead fish.
And remember, wash your hands thoroughly
for at least 20 seconds,
and then, after doing so, do not touch your eyes, nose or mouth.
This is so confusing.
I am not sure I can do this.
Of course you can.
Just remember to look your employer straight in the eye,
maintain a strong grip
and don't let go until they do.
Okay, I think I've got it now.
Great! Then why don't you give it a try?
Let go, let go!
But shouldn't I wait for you to let go first?
No.
It's time you got yourself a girlfriend, Brainiac.
But I don't know the first thing about
the dating habits of women.
Oh, don't worry. We'll walk you through the process
by setting you up on a mock date with Kara.
Now, the first thing you wanna do
is compliment your date
and, you know, give her a little gift.
Got it.
My, my.
You're looking very adequate today.
This is for you.
It's the Bottle City of Kandor.
Just for fun, I like to shake it up
and watch all the tiny people freak out.
That is horrible.
You don't like it?
Then, perhaps, you'd like a snapping space turtle.
No, no, Brainiac, no.
Uh, just give her these.
Now get your date to talk about her interests.
So, tell me about yourself.
- Well, I'm originally from Krypton... - Uh-huh, uh-huh?
Boring. Can we just get to the goodnight kiss?
Here you go.
Brainiac, if you wanna become an adult,
you have to start dressing like one.
What are you talking about?
Check out my slick pink vinyl white collar shirt.
My totally fly Go-go boots.
And my hipper than hip jet black short shorts.
How can you claim this is not acceptable adult attire?
Um, well, how do I put this politely?
You look like the mixture of the nerd and the dweeb.
A nerweeb, if you will.
It's true. I'm a complete disaster.
I can't shake hands, I can't talk to the ladies,
and on top of all that, I look like a total nerweeb.
I may as well face it.
I'm not cut out to be an adult.
Oh, there, there, Brainiac, we know change is hard.
But with a little more patience,
we're sure you'll get the hang of it.
Hello, Titans.
Check out my man Brainiac.
You're all grown up.
Yup, thanks to you,
I've got a sweet combover,
a good job, and a new girlfriend.
And because you held up your part of the bargain,
it's time I held up mine.
You're free to go.
Wow, thanks, Brainiac.
Oh, you don't need to thank me.
Now that I'm an adult,
I realized that collecting superheroes is kid stuff,
which is why I've moved on to a much more mature hobby.
Destroying planets.
Think of all the innocent worlds that will be lost.
You must reconsider.
You can't tell me what to do. I'm an adult.
He makes a real good point.
Brainiac's mature enough to make his own decisions now.
But we have to do something.
Like what, Mama?
We can't take out that giant laser.
Yes, we can.
As long as we work together.
Wonder Woman is right.
With all our powers combined,
we turned that sniveling dweeb into a full-grown adult.
And if we could do that, we could do anything.
Cyborg, do you think you can pilot the Space House?
I can fly anything.
Ready, team?
Ready!
Ready.
Then it's time to blast off.
His throat is closing. We're not gonna make it.
Aim for the uvula.
Fire away!
This isn't working!
Our fire power isn't enough.
That may be true, but we are no longer alone in this.
Look around.
She's right. Titans,
and every superhero and supervillain
in the DC multiverse,
go!
Brainiac, look at Mama's spaceship.
You are such a disappointment.
I'm sorry, Mommy.
Nice team work, everybody.
But how are we gonna get all these people back home?
It's simple. We don't.
This is where they live now.
That works for me.
Now let's go hit up that space beach, yo.
Theme music...