Episode Title: "What a Boy wonders"
Titans.
Welcome to book club!
As you know the book we'll be discussing today,
is my very own autobiographical memoir.
What a Boy Wonders.
I'll tell you what I wonder, who would want to read this?
Are you telling me that none of you read my book.
- I did not. - I ain'ts reading that poop.
The whole point of a book club is for everyone to read the book,
so we can all discuss it.
Maybe we can discuss another book?
Like something fun.
Yeah, you know the exact opposite of your book.
But we were supposed to discuss my book.
No one wants to hear about your dumb book.
Let me tells you about my favorite book instead.
Dr. Doo-doo Little.
Um, don't you mean Dr. Dolittle?
No, son. Now sit down and listen up.
Long ago, one of the greatest animal doctor of all time,
Doctor doo-doo Little.
You see, my dude had an extraordinary ability.
He could talk to animals.
Doctor the Doo-doo Little, We have got the big problem.
What is it parrot?
Half of the animals in the jungle are...
they're backed up.
Constipation?
That'd be my specialty.
Oh, my belly!
I haven't been regular for weeks.
Fear not. Doo-doo Little is here to help you.
Ah, I see.
It sounds like you've been eating
too many of them bananas again, haven't you?
I'm a monkey. Of course I'm eating lots of bananas.
The squawk. But I thought
the bananas were good for the digestive system.
True. True. They is.
But them unripe bananas can actually cause constipation.
You see, they've got too much of that starch.
That'll clog you right up.
But don't worry. These here prunes are filled with fiber.
They's the natural enemy of starch.
Ooh, I hear them gears turning again.
Oh, thank you, Dr. Doo-doo Little.
I gotta go.
And so, Dr. Doo-doo Little went about
curing all the animals from their constipation.
But after a hard day of making sure all them animals went,
Dr. Doo-doo Little realized that he forgot to go himself.
The squawk! Uh-oh. Better the hurry.
Alas, all of the jungle bathrooms was occupied.
Uh-oh. I thinks I doo-doo'ed a little.
That is not how the story goes.
I bet you didn't even read the book jacket.
True. True.
So let me tell you about my book.
It's a timeless tale about a boy whose only wish is to fight crime.
I've got a timeless tale for you,
and unlike Robin's book it won't put you to sleep.
Once upon a time, there was a genie,
who lived in a cool pad for thousands of years. Until one day...
Rub a dub dub. Get out of that tub!
Uh, who are you?
We are the 40 teeths.
Mm-mmm. You mean 40 thieves?
No. 40 teeths.
See, I got 20 teeths.
And I got 14 teeths.
And I got six teeths. That's forty teeths.
See, we came down that hole to seize the treasure.
But now we're stuck down here.
Oh, that's okay.
Because I'm giving you three wishes.
Ooh. Then I want a flying carpet, so we can fly right out of here.
Oh, come on. You can wish for something better than that.
How about a flying van?
That way you can haul all this treasure
and be the envy of every soccer mom in town.
Totally, yo.
Genie, I wish for a flying van!
Sweet. Ha-ha.
Hey! You tricked me.
Ha-ha. I know Pretty funny, right?
Well, your shlik triksh aren't gonna work on me.
What was that?
I said your shlik triksh aren't gonna work on me.
Yeah, it's really hard to understand you with all those gaps in your teeth.
Ah, I wish you could understand what I'm saying.
Well, I understood that.
Hey, what... What?
Now that you've got more teeths, I can understand you perfectly.
That's two wishes down and one to go.
My turn.
Careful, bruh. This is our last wish.
Make sure to think it through.
No problem.
I wish for all of us to be magically transported to a very cool pad
with all this treasure.
Your wish is my command.
See, it worked! We got a cool pad and all the treasure.
But where exactly is we?
Ha-ha. I'm free!
Help! Let us out! Help! Let us out!
And the moral of the story is always brush your teeth.
Nope. Not even close.
Have any of you even read a single book?
I have. But in this book, the ever after is not lived so happily.
Once upon a time, there was the DJ named Jekyll.
Yo. Yo. You are listening to T-T-G-O radio,
and boy do I have something special for you today.
An exclusive track from the world-famous Beast Boy.
Boom!
But as soon as the music hit the ears of DJ Jekyll
she would undergo the changes.
When I hear the beat, it takes ahold of me
and I feel a sudden urge to rhyme.
I am Hyde!
Ahhh! She just killed my beat.
This is your girl Jekyll turning up the heat
with this next hot track from Mecha Mix master, Cyborg!
Oh, man. I spent a month on that beat and she straight up killed it.
- Mama, help. - Hyde is out of control.
We have to do something to save our beats.
She's killing them, yo.
Then we need to create a beat that's iller than any beat ever created.
A beat that defies her venomous flow.
A beat that cannot be killed.
Let's get to work.
I am here to kill your beats.
Oh, no. She's killing our beats.
Quick, hit her with the drop.
It's working!
There will never be a doper rapper than me!
I-am-Hyde!
- Woo-hoo! - That's wassup!
As much as I love that interpretation, Star,
it couldn't be more wrong!
For an accurate account, my book...
No, thanks.
I've got a better book.
One you can interpret however you want,
'cause it's super crazy.
Once upon a time, this dude named Alice, found himself
in a magical place called Wonderland.
Just in time for...
A mad tea party! Woo-hoo-hoo!
I'm the Mad Hatter, yo.
I'm strict cray.
Yeah, boy...
Please join us or don't. It really doesn't matter.
Y'all seem all right, I accept your invitation.
Excuse the me.
I am doing the sitting here.
Oh, sorry. Kitty.
I am not the Kitty, I am the full grown Cheshire cat.
Okay, I'll just sit over here then and check out the menus.
Tacos, tofu, trout, turnips. Tapioca?
Why does everything on this menu start with the letter T?
Because, yo, it's a Mad "T" party.
You can only order foods that begin with the letter T.
Whatever you do, do not upset the chef.
She has the issues with the management of anger.
Here she comes.
The queen of hearts.
Greetings, unloyal subjects.
May I take your order?
I'll have the tuna tartare, and for dessert, the tiramisu.
I will have the tots of tater.
I'll have the tempeh please.
What kind of sauce?
Tahini.
And for you?
Yeah, I'll have a burger.
How rude.
Sorry. I'll have a burger, please.
Did anyone explain the rules to him?
Sorry, Your Majesty.
Alice, bruh. At least make it a turkey burger.
I don't want a turkey burger.
I want a bacon barbeque beef burger on a brioche bun.
You know how I feel about rules being broken!
Great. You've upset the queen.
Off with their heads!
And they all lived happily ever after.
Okay, that's it.
We've listened to all of your factually incorrect retellings.
Now it's time for me to tell you about my book.
- Okay. - Really?
- Yeah, sure. Why not. - Great.
Chapter one.
A boy wonders how did he become so ruggedly handsome...
- Ah, man. I ain't into this one. - This is Fiction.
Hey, where are you guys going?