Jimmy, I've been meaning to ask you something.
I know.
Why am I carrying two lunches.
Because of that bully Terry Finster.
This way, after he steals mine
I still have something to eat.
Well, actually, I was going to ask you
who would win a fight
between Big Foot and a Komodo dragon?
But your question's good, too.
How come Terry wants your lunch so bad?
I think he needs the extra energy
for when he throws me in the Dumpster.
Yesterday I had to take two baths
and put on my dad's aftershave to hide the smell.
It could be worse.
Oh, really? How?
Well, you could get sucked out
of a plane through the toilet.
That's why I never flush, not even in my own home.
What?
Coffee, dear?
Thanks, sugarest of boogers.
Hugh, did you notice that Jimmy's
been taking two lunches for school every day?
And last night he was wearing some horrible, stinky aftershave.
Sounds like our Jimmy has his eyes on
a little mamacita.
I think maybe it's time you gave him "the talk."
Cream and sugar?
Hey, Neutral brain.
You got something for me?
Here's my lunch, Terry.
Oh, darn, now I don't have one.
Why sure you do, Jimmy, remember?
You brought that second lunch
so that when Terry...
I mean, if I was a kangaroo
I'd have a big pocket right here.
Applesauce.
Jimmy, don't put up with that.
You have to tell a teacher.
Or your parents.
Even you shouldn't have to deal with a vicious bully
on a daily basis.
I think Cindy's right.
Because adults usually know the right thing to do.
Except in horror films
when there's a spider in their bathtubs
disguised as a hair clog, and... I can't look!
I'll tell an adult eventually.
In the meantime, maybe Terry will get bored
and terrorize someone else.
And so then he filled my backpack with glue
and used my stomach for bongo practice.
Wow. What are you going to do?
The one thing I do better
than all the Terry Finster's put together.
Cry and beg for mercy?
No. Put science to work.
Where there's a lab there's a way.
Jimmy, your father and I...
That's me.
We guessed about your situation at school.
It's something every boy at your age
has to go through.
Wait, wait, wait.
You know about Terry?
Terry? That's a girl's name.
Son, let me ask you a question.
Do you get that funny feeling in your liver
whenever Terry's near?
Yes, and for some time afterward.
Look, I'd love to stay and talk
but I've got to go invent something for Terry.
Goddard.
Hugh, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yeah, the bride's parents pay for the wedding.
They do? Yes.
Voila! A Jim-Tech personal anti-bully device.
Initiate command sequence.
What?
Your chair is bigger than mine.
Goddard, pretend to attack me.
Threatening metal canine.
Attack on my command.
Who voted you Mr. Bossy Pants?
I heard that.
Look out Terry Finster.
Hey, Neutron, where's my lunch?
Oh, sorry, Terry.
Only brought one.
I'll tell you what though—
after I'm done, I'll put some ketchup
on the bag and you can eat that.
Wrong answer, Neutron.
Jim-Tech, deliver warning.
I want to do it.
It's the captain's job.
No, sometimes the stewardess gets to talk.
Get me a pillow and some tea and we'll discuss it.
Nano-bots, imminent threat to owner.
Step away from the boy.
Is that pie plate talking to me?
You're dead, Neutron!
Oh, Neutron, way to go!
Still think I can't handle myself?
This thing's cool, Jimmy.
How's it work?
Nano-bot technology.
Not like the ones in your pants
that tried to take over the world?
No, no, Carl. Those were nano-chips.
These are second generation.
Plus, I used two of them
so there's a system of checks and balances
and nothing can go wrong.
Hey, Neutron
slick work out there.
Oh, oh, what is this stuff?
My whole body's itching like crazy!
Hey, that's not supposed to happen.
Vic, stop jitterbugging.
Jimmy, put that toy away.
Menacing poultry-esque human at 12:00.
I'm small, not blind.
Uh, Sorry, Miss Fowl.
Jim-Tech, stop that.
He said stop her.
No, no, not her. That!
Forget what I said about telling someone, Neutron.
It's much more fun to watch you handle it.
Sorry about the three
consecutive detentions there, Jim.
Minor flaw. I'll fix it.
Look, guys, guys.
The new Dr. Love figure
with retractable fists...
Would you like to comment on this?
Uh... he got what was coming to him?
Very good. Have a cookie.
Oh, thanks...
Uh, Jim-Jim-Jim-Jimmy, Jim...
Just got a phone call from Terry's mom.
Did you two have a little spat-a-roo?
Hugh, the talk?
Once upon a time, a boy sparrow said to a girl sparrow
"Hey, nice feathers.
Can I buy you some millet?"
Well, the girl sparrow...
You know, I would really love to hear the rest, Dad
but having a small emergency. Bye.
And when he got to her nest
he was alarmed to find out
her mother was a cantankerous old crow.
Hugh!
Screwdriver.
Out. I win.
No way. That was in.
Never.
Aw! Sharp object near owner.
Goddard, attack and dismantle the Jim-Tech.
Uh-uh.
Sic em, boy.
Oh, gas planet.
There he is.
Nice going, Captain.
You almost lost him.
Nano-bots, stand down.
I order you to stop attacking people.
Someone threatened you to make you say that.
Where are they?
Hi, Jimmy.
Was it him?
Ow.
And we want our cookie back.
Hi.
Why does everyone look so worried?
( nervously ): We're not worried.
We're happy to see you. See?
I'm sorry about this.
The nano-bots are just a little overzealous.
Are you thirsty, owner?
No.
Step away from the fountain.
I said I'm not thirsty.
Who is making you say that?
Hey, Jimmy.
Is it him?
Stay away!
Louder! With more feeling!
Oh, what am I going to do?
It's scared off my enemies
but it's terrorizing my friends.
It's like I'm the bully.
Hey, Jimbo, there you are.
Son, let's talk about girls.
Well, girls are like a piping hot slice of pie
with a big scoop of confusion on top.
Confusion?
That's it!
Pie time. Honey.
Oh, nano-bots, watch this.
Owner under attack.
And your head's too big, too.
He's under attack. Get him.
We can't get him— he's him.
What do we do?
You tell me, Captain.
I'm just a stewardess, remember?
Trying to crawl away from me, huh?
Primary command must be obeyed.
Take that.
Cannot obey.
Program data overload.
How come you get the parachute?
Quiet, or I'll detach my ankle.
Hugh, birds, bees, now.
Jimmy... I...
It's okay, Dad.
I don't have a problem anymore.
Terry moved to another school...
Oh, there'll be other Terrys, honey.
Let's have some hot chocolate.
Now wait a minute.
Just wait a darn minute, you two.
I'm ready to give the talk, and gosh darn it
I'm going to give the talk
and I'm going to do it right now.
Hmm.
You see, Goddard
boys are one way
and girls, well, they're another way entirely.
Then there's ducks.
Ah, life is good.
The sun is shining, my body is coursing with sugar
and my treasured action figure waits right here
where I left him, under the big oak tree...
O-O-O-Oh!
"The Ultra Shock Dance Teacher 8000"?
Exactly. By sending shocks to your major muscle groups
in a manner corresponding to popular dance steps
it actually teaches you to dance.
Does it hurt? Hurt?
What's a little pain compared to the trauma
of looking like a dork at your high school prom?
Initiate mambo sequence.
Ah... Jimmy!
Carl, I haven't even turned it on yet.
That wasn't me.
What? These walls are lined
with three feet of lead compounds.
No one's voice could possibly ever pierce...
Jimmy, it's Sheen! Let me in!
Come on, I'm not kidding!
Hey, Sheen, what's up?
You can look at my shockingly empty hands and ask me that?
I've been robbed.
Robbed of what?
Only my oldest and most prized Ultra Lord.
He was like the plastic
atomic, breath-blasting brother I never had.
Sheen, calm down.
Just tell us what happened.
Okay... okay... okay...
I took Ultra Lord to the park to play with him.
I turned my back for five minutes to buy some ice cream.
And when I came back
he was gone!
You got to help me, Jimmy!
If you don't
I'll have to ask complete idiots to help me
and you know how unreliable they are.
Well, it is a chance to pit my brain
against the criminal element.
I'll take the case.
Yes!
And I'll solve it with science.
Thank you, Jimmy.
Do you hear that, evildoers?
Ultra Lord will be avenged!
Hey, look at me.
I've got feet of flames.
Hey, Jimmy, if you just asked me
I'd have lent you some stupid looking clothes.
This happens to be the signature look
of super sleuth and master of deduction Sherlock Holmes.
Really? How come he couldn't deduct
how stupid his hat looked?
Carl, here's a notepad.
As Watson to my Holmes
your job will be to write down all the clues.
To the crime scene!
Now, Sheen, where did you last see Ultra Lord?
Right there.
He looked so peaceful with his destructo-belt
and hydraulic flamethrower.
Goddard, neutra-scope.
According to city records
the ice cream truck stops in the park
at 11:27 a.m. every morning.
My neutra-scope's highly sensitive heat detectors
will show us all the life forms that passed by this exact spot
between 11:27 and Sheen's return five minutes later.
Goddard, identify bio-masses.
Cindy and Humphrey...
Jimmy's mom...
a cute little squirrely...
and Nick.
Hmm. Eliminate the squirrel and we're left with three suspects.
Cindy, Nick, and my own mother.
It's her. Your mother did it.
Jimmy's the spawn of thieves!
Or it could be Nick or Cindy.
I think it's time to have a chat with our suspects.
Well, hey
little squirrel.
We're on a detective case.
Um, Sheen, he lost his Ultra Lord...
Carl! Coming!
Yes, I saw Sheen in the park.
No, I didn't take his dumb doll.
It's not a doll, it's an action figure.
Brutally arrest her.
Back off, doll boy.
Anyway, what motive could I possibly have for taking it?
Tell her, Carl.
Hi.
Huh? Oh.
Remember yesterday in class...
And that's my report.
Any questions?
Uh, yes.
Uh, I accidentally flicked a scab off my elbow
and it landed on your shirt.
Can I have it back?
Get off me!
So, he's a disgusting idiot.
But I didn't take his doll.
Then I'm sure you won't mind
submitting to a lie-detector test.
Goddard.
Hey!
Did you take Sheen's Ultra Lord?
No.
What about Humphrey?
What about him?
He was with you; maybe he ate it.
Humphrey doesn't eat garbage.
She's lying.
I am not.
Ah-ha!
The polygraph never lies.
Oh, uh, but I...
Well, that's not...
Okay, I admit it.
I fed Sheen's stupid doll to Humphrey to get revenge.
But Humphrey barfed it back up and we left the park. I swear.
Mmm, she seems to be telling the truth.
But just to be sure...
Goddard, x-ray the suspects clothes.
Thanks for your help.
You're free to go.
Carl, make a note that suspect Judy Neutron
is dusting the front lawn.
Carl?
Here's a cute, fluffy little squirrely.
You are...
Carl!
Okay.
Hi, boys. There's fresh-baked fudge nellies in the kitchen.
I need to ask you some questions, Mom.
If that is your real name.
What kind of questions?
Judy Neutron, did you happen to pass the big oak tree
in the park between the hours of 11:27 and 11:32 this morning?
What's this all about?
And why are you dressed like Sherlock Holmes?
Ma'am, please let my partner ask the questions.
And is it not true that you're a card-carrying member
of the town anti-litter league?
Well, yes, but I still don't see...
Then, isn't it possible
that while jogging in the park this morning
you spotted an action figure
lying on the ground
and threw it away
due to your obsessive need to tidy up?
James Isaac Neutron, in this household
courtroom-style interrogations means chores for a week.
Goddard, black light check of the suspect's hands.
Oh, your father will hear about this, young man.
Mom, your hands test positive
for the exact type of plastic that Ultra Lords are made of.
Well, that's because I...
I mean, you don't think that I...
All right, it's true
that a filthy doll made a mockery of every tree
and daffodil in that park!
I simply had to throw it away in the trash.
Case closed. Book her, Jim-o.
But I couldn't.
It was disgusting
and covered in dog slobber.
I ran home to get my rubber gloves
but your father wouldn't let me have them.
A likely story.
What would Dad possibly want with your rubber gloves?
Hey, boys!
Look at me! I'm Cocky the Rooster Man.
Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Cock-a-doodle... hey, Mother Hen
want to have a pecking party?
Make way for Rooster Man.
Half rooster, half man.
All Hugh.
Case open again.
Now, how about those fudge nellies?
Nick's our last remaining suspect.
That means he must be our perp.
Halt, criminal.
Hey, guys.
Whoa. Nice duds, dude.
You lose a bet?
Nick, yesterday you were overheard
coveting Sheen's Ultra Lord action figure.
Uh, I don't think so.
Tell him, Carl.
Remember yesterday in the hallway?
Man, I'd do anything
to get my hands on that new styling mousse I read about.
Too bad it's 53 bucks.
53 bucks?
What a coincidence.
That's how much this particular Ultra Lord is worth.
Really? Well, then I should totally steal it.
I never said that.
You might as well have.
You clearly stole Ultra Lord
to keep yourself in fine grooming products.
Nick, I'm afraid I have to test
a lock of your hair
for the existence of the incriminating mousse.
Hmm. Let me respond to that in the following way...
That Nick makes a forceful point.
Very.
Mission accomplished.
Negative?
I don't understand it.
I interrogated the suspects
tested their alibis using cutting-edge science...
I should have a culprit by now.
Don't feel bad, Jimmy.
You tried your best.
It just wasn't anywhere near good enough.
I must have missed something.
Carl, give me your notes.
The answer's got to be here somewhere.
Okay, now about the notes, Jimmy, they're...
Squirrel... squirrel... squirrel... squirrel...
More squirrels!
Carl, these notes are completely useless!
B-but, Jimmy, you should have seen them.
They were so cute and cuddly and-and...
I'm a bad Watson!
Wait a minute.
Sherlock Holmes once said
"When you've eliminated the impossible
whatever remains must be the truth."
Hey, yeah.
I don't get it.
To the park!
Just as I suspected.
Gentlemen, our Ultra Lord thief.
What strange, bizarre rituals could they be performing?
They're using Ultra Lord as a nutcracker.
Give me my action figure, you stupid squirrel.
Where's your respect for Ultra Lord?
You think he'll ever get it back?
That, my dear Carl
is a mystery even I can't solve.
Put down that stick! Ow!
Somebody call an ambulance!
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and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org