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Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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Now I will demonstrate
how a common household monkey can be taught to square dance.
Yoo-hoo.
Hope I'm not interrupting.
Principal Willoughby!
Of course not.
Well, I've got some great news, kids.
Lindbergh School is going to sponsor a TV program
on public access.
Oh, I know, isn't it exciting?
If anyone would like to pitch ideas for the show's format,
you just feel free to drop by my office after lunch.
A public access show.
Finally, a way to educate the masses
by sharing my love of complex scientific theorems.
Earth to Nerdtron.
Forget it.
Jimmy, you wouldn't know good television
if it bit you in the Bunsen burner.
Right!
Oh, yuck it up, she-losers,
but my program is going to give people what they really want—
thoughtful and informative programming.
It's a show about nothing.
Nothing but puppets!
Dad, is it wrong to tell a lie?
Son, let me tell you a little story.
Giant radioactive worms!
I'm all right, Dad.
Dad?
Next!
Singing and dancing is the way to go.
Kick it, girl.
Next!
Fade in.
Close-up on my face.
That's the show.
Hmm.
Next!
Um, what's public access?
And that demonstrates the hyper-gravimetric effects
on all prime numbers greater than the cube root of n.
Then we go to commercial.
Congratulations, Jimmy.
That was the worst pitch all day.
Oh.
Then why are you congratulating me?
Well, because, in accordance with FCC regulation 97002/J...
all school-run programs must be educational,
having no entertainment value whatsoever.
Ergo, you got the job, hotshot.
Yes!
I can see it all now—
lights, camera, science!
The universe.
It's really, really, really, really big and stuff.
Join us now as we voyage into the unknown
on Science with Jimmy.
Yay!
Hey-ho!
That's enough, Carl.
Sorry.
Uh, hi.
Welcome to Science with Jimmy.
Today's segment is called "Fun with Heavy Gravity."
And so, without further ado,
I give you the Gravitrax SK30.
I shall now attempt
to alter my assistant's density
via graviton particle bombardment.
Atomic batteries to power.
Turbines to speed...
Initiating sequence...
Now!
It tickles.
And voilà!
The test subject is now much heavier.
Uh, well, it's kind of hard to see,
but take my word for it.
His atomic structure is now really, really dense.
Psst.
Jimmy, this experiment's a stink burger.
Move on.
No, no, no, w-w-wait.
Maybe if I increase the intensity...
Jimmy, I feel kind of funny.
We need more power.
Look at our little Jimbo.
The camera loves him.
Uh, I can fix that.
( screams ) Oh, no! Run.
Let's get out of here!
My mistake; the camera only likes him as a friend.
Now, that's good television.
Uh, that's all the time we have.
Join us again next week.
Bye!
Well, Jimmy,
that was the worst show I've ever seen.
I understand.
I'd fire me, too, if I were you.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, on the contrary.
We've decided to retool the format
to make it kind of remotely interesting.
Really?
That's great.
Who's "we"?
Your new creative team.
Jimmy, I'd like you to meet the new producer
of Science with Jimmy.
No!
And your new co-host.
No!
Jimmy, calm down.
We know that you want the show to educate people.
We deeply and genuinely respect that.
No!
You do?
Of course.
We just want to make a few tiny adjustments.
Exactly.
You have our word
that science will always come first
on Science with Jimmy.
Please, you seriously expect me to trust you?
If you don't do the show, we'll get someone else.
Like I said, time to make some show-biz magic.
Dad, you've been bitten.
You're turning into a giant worm.
Run, run, son.
Run while you can.
I love you, Dad.
Jimmy, where you been the last few days?
In the lab.
Letting Cindy and Libby produce
gave me time to focus on the science.
Yeah, uh, listen, Jimmy,
there's something you should know.
I've come up with some great new experiments.
This is going to be our best show ever.
He's living in a dream world.
W-What happened to my set?
Do you love it?
"Funky Jam Dance Party"?
With some science.
You said you were only going to make
some tiny changes.
And they are tiny.
Jimmy, baby, you're Mr. Science.
Just do the show the way you would normally.
Yeah, Jimmy, don't sweat it.
We're here to support you.
Places, people— we're on in ten.
I don't know, Sheen.
This doesn't feel right.
Duh! I told you the show needs more puppets.
And we're live in three, two, one.
Cue lights, cue music, cue Funk Master Nicky Nick.
Funk Master Nicky Nick?
Hey, everybody, it's time to get down
with America's favorite educational program,
Funky Jam Dance Party.
With some science.
Whatever.
And now give it up
for the big-headed brother with the pointy do, Jimmy Neutron!
Hello and welcome to Funky Jam Dance Party with Some Science.
In today's segment, we'll be taking a look
at electron valance orbits.
And kick it!
What? I didn't get a chance...
To represent Lindbergh Elementary,
we're the Liberteens.
I can't let them ruin my show.
Goddard, fetch the acoustic amp.
Sugarbooger, come quick.
Jimmy's new show is funkerific.
And we're back, with science—
thanks to the acoustical absorption properties
of my amazing Acoustivac.
Funny story about quantum sonic fluctu...
And now it's time for adorable hunk tricks.
I want you to give it up for Nick!
What's up, Nick?
I'm going to style my hair without using my hands.
Can I get a drum roll, please?
Hey, hey.
Forget the hair.
I'm offering you a miniature fusion reaction
which perfectly duplicates the Sun's carbon-nitrogen cycle.
Yo, Nick, flip your hair again.
Ha! Huh!
Whoo!
Give it up.
Got to get my show back.
By the spirit of Enrico Fermi,
science shall never take backseat
to mindless pop culture again!
Goddard, the Gravitrax.
God-Goddard?
That does it.
Get us down!
I can't work like this!
Whee!
Hey!
Hey, Neutron, what's going on?
Whoa!
Thus, we see how reversing the polarity on your Gravitrax
can render any lousy dance act virtually weightless.
Neutron, get us down from here.
Please, join us next week when empirically deduced data
will once again be the star of the show.
Well, kids, congrats.
Zero Gravity, Funky Dance Party Jam with Some Science
killed in the ratings.
Too bad I'm going to have to cancel it.
What? Why?
Because the network president doesn't like
science, music or dancing.
Well, then, what does he like?
We must destroy the giant worm.
No, you mustn't!
That's my father.
( whispers ): Psst, Carl, that's your cue.
Oh, sorry.
Must destroy world!
Ow! Gee, that hurt.
Fuzzy Puppet House Party with No Science is puppetastic.
Dad, that's not even a word.
Eat your popcorn, dear.
You're an extraordinary fellow, Mr. Boy Genius.
Well, prepare to meet your... um, oh, uh, whatever.
Today I found something
that no one has ever seen before in the history of the world—
a half-eaten Crunchy Creme jelly donut!
But they're 100% irresistible.
No one cannot finish one.
I'm afraid I know someone who could—
an old student of mine, Finbarr Calamitous.
This is his bite mark.
He's back!
So what's so special about Finbarr Calamitous?
Oh, he was a brilliant boy,
but he could never finish anything—
homework, inventions, sentences.
That's why I failed him.
And he was bad!
Like me?
No, Nick.
You're bad in the new sense of the word, meaning good.
Finbarr was bad in the old sense of the word.
He disappeared one day after not finishing his lunch.
I wonder why he's returned.
Carl!
What?
I don't know.
Are you back home early
from your mother's, Sugarbo...
Hey, you're not Sugarbooger.
Good morning.
I've come to, uh, um, um...
Install cable?
Snake my drain?
Clean the chimney?
Yes, clean the chimney.
I'm a chimney, um...
You're a chimney sweep.
Oh, that's just grand.
Like the guy in the movie.
Do you sing and dance?
That costs extra.
It always does.
Never mind.
All clean.
By the way, where is your, your...
Bathroom?
Duck collection?
Son?
Yes, your son.
The genius.
Well, Jimbo's at school.
He does that during the day.
Does he have something
he really cares about, like, um, uh...
A girl?
Tennis racket?
Different girl?
Dog?
He does have a dog.
Oh, yes.
Show me the, um...
the furry, barky thing you mentioned.
That's Goddard.
Yes, it is, yes, it is.
Jimmy made him all by himself.
He does eleven million and four things
except clean up after himself.
That's my job.
Kind of like a hobby for me really.
May I take him for a...
Ice cream?
Grand tour of Europe?
Walking?
Yes, the third one.
We usually don't let random chimney sweeps
just walk in and...
Well... good night.
Mommy?
Do you guys think that, you know,
sometimes in the right light
Miss Fowl looks kind of...
Hey, hold that thought.
Look— up in the sky.
It's a bird!
It's a plane!
It's a self-propelled android
traveling at approximately 237 miles per hour.
Oh... sorry, Carl.
What were you saying?
Nothing, never mind.
Hey, Goddard, I'm home.
Goddard!
Dad?
I must have just dozed off there for... hmm, six hours.
Nothing like a nice nap.
Where's Goddard?
Uh, Goddard?
He's right here with the chimney sweep.
Goddard's been dog-napped.
By a big, giant, scary chimney sweep.
Man, that would make one sweet action figure.
Nobody steals my dog.
Except that guy.
Sorry.
I've got your dog, Jimmy.
Which means soon I will have you
or my name isn't... um... oh, um...
Oh, right.
I'll take to the skies.
Keep on the lookout for any suspicious activity
and meet me back here at 1600 hours.
I'm counting on you guys.
It's too bad Goddard was stolen.
But this is so cool.
We're like two real live cops on a case.
Yeah.
Let's go eat.
By activating Goddard's built-in homing device,
I'll find him faster than you can say...
There he is.
He's under the house somewhere.
Sheen, Carl, I've located Goddard.
I'll signal if I need backup.
Roger.
We'll sit tight here in case the guy
who stole your dog comes in for a snack.
Over and out.
Who's Roger?
Goddard.
Up here, boy.
Aw, don't worry, Goddard.
I'll have you out of there in no time.
Good thing I brought my Swiss Army laser.
Let's go.
Hello, Jimmy.
Please allow me to introduce myself.
I'm... um... um...
Um... no... uh...
Finbarr Calamitous—
the guy who could never finish anything.
Well, aren't we the smart one.
But not smart enough to avoid walking right into my little...
It starts with a T.
Trap?
Correct!
And now you are going to be my scientific slave
and finish all my... my...
Sentences.
No!
My... my...
Inventions?
Inventions.
Finish my inventions.
And then I will take over the... um... uh...
Universe?
Smaller.
Retroville?
And all those fools who laughed at me.
They called me "Half Done" and "Never Finish,"
which weren't particularly good nicknames,
but they stung all the same.
Wait a minute.
If you never finish anything,
how'd you finish that robotic suit?
Who says it's finished?
I never put in a bathroom.
Speaking of which, I'll be right back.
Pay no attention to the short, skinny, bald man
stepping out of the, um...
I'm not helping you do anything, Mr. Calamitous.
That's Professor Calamitous.
And I'm afraid you have no choice.
You're trapped, Neutron.
You see, these walls are made of pure chromium steel
with just a hint of magenta in the piping
to really bring out... oh, never mind.
First you will complete my ultimate disintegrater.
At the moment it only makes things moist and soggy
and kind of, oh... not crumbly exactly.
More like, um...
Ultimate disintegrater, eh?
Okay, I guess you win.
I'll fix your machine and help you take over Retroville.
Really?
A wise decision.
By the way, how is my old teacher, Miss, um... um...
Miss Fowl?
Why, she's fine, thanks for asking.
Do you think that sometimes in the right light
Miss Fowl looks kind of...
Finished.
Fast as you are smart, eh?
So now begins the destruction of, of...
Your wall of steel.
It works.
I always knew I could do, um... um...
It!
Bye.
Oh, pooh.
I wish I'd seen that, um... um...
Coming!
Yikes!
For a bumbling genius, he's pretty dangerous.
He's on our tail.
Ugh, I can't shake him.
So I never finish anything, eh?
We'll just see about, um... um...
Think, think.
I never put in a bathroom.
Brain blast!
Ohh... oh, goodness.
Oh, monkey lumps.
Why didn't I put a bathroom in this suit?
Ooh, Sheen.
It's the perp.
Hey, yeah.
You wrestle him and cuff him
and I'll watch.
Why do you get to watch?
Fine, forget it.
Let's just hide quietly.
May I use your, um... um...
Telephone?
Teeth whitening kit?
Restroom?
Restroom!
No, it's for paying customers only.
All right, I'll have a chocolate, um... um...
Sundae?
Rumball?
Milkshake?
Officer Tubbs, man that bathroom.
Uh, thanks— don't mind if I do.
Hmph!
Nooooo!
Yeah, another evildoer sent packing.
Glad we could help, Jimmy.
What are you talking about?
You guys didn't do a doggone thing.
Oh, didn't we?
No!
Well, at least we didn't screw anything up.
Come on, Carl, let's go eat some candy.
Fighting crime really gives me a appetite.
I'll be back, Jimmy.
You can run, but you can't, um... oh...
Oh, oh, oh— hop?
Go too fast or you'll slip?
Chew gum at the same time?
Oh, just forget it.
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org