Help!
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON
That all you got?
Is that all you got?
Okay, I think we're done.
Thanks for coaching me, Libby.
These sessions with the Neutron punching bag
have really helped with my rage issues.
Wow!
It's an actual deep-space meteor.
Poke it, Libby, poke it.
Uh-uh. Something gross might pop out.
What are they?
I don't know, but they're amazing.
They're a scientific marvel.
Well, they're, they're...
They're a fashion statement.
Oh, my gosh.
Those gems are so gorgeous.
Back off, Britney.
You're fogging the merchandise.
Man, girls are so lame.
A few shiny bobbles
and they go all googly-eyed.
Ooh, sparkly.
Aah, Carl, you've been hanging out with your mom too much.
Hey, guys.
Ladies.
How's everybody d-d-d-d...
Those jewels are incredible!
Am I the only real man left?
If by "man" you mean "dufus."
Back off, Freaktron.
For once I discovered something before you.
But if you'd like to examine them more closely,
we could pencil you in for, um, say... never.
You don't understand.
Those don't even come from Earth.
They're aster-rubies—
the most priceless substance in the universe.
Aster-rubies?
Yes, and there are probably more where these came from.
Anyone who traces these to the mother lode
would become the richest kid in the galaxy.
Girls. Hah!
A few incredibly priceless gems and they go all...
In the galaxy?
What are we doing standing around?
To the lab!
Okay, to the hover car, then the lab.
So, you supply me
with the meteor's trajectory and time of impact.
I'll rocket up to get them
and cut you in for, say, three percent.
Wrong.
How about this?
We let you take us there.
Once we're rich,
you'll get a modest finder's fee.
Aah, no way.
I don't need you.
Carl and Sheen are all the help I need.
That's right.
Space travel is only
for experienced adventurers, like us.
Right, Carl?
Right.
Will there be cookies and lemonade there?
You don't get it, Neutron.
You don't take us, we don't give you the coordinates.
All right, I guess I don't have a choice.
An even five-way split?
Deal.
To the lab!
Okay, to Jimmy's front yard, then the lab.
Uh, sorry, Sheen,
but I keep my new redesigned rocket
here in the garage.
It can fit all five of us, plus Goddard,
and it gets over 26 light-years per gallon.
I hope it's got air bags.
Jimbo, you out there, son?
Oh, no, we forgot.
It's not like our parents
are actually going to let us
go on an extended space trip.
Hey, don't worry.
I've got it covered.
Initiating holographic camouflage program.
Sweetheart, what's going on here?
And who's this?
Oh, this is Chip, our camp councilor.
Do not worry, dudes.
I'll be sending you
a totally excellent report on your son and/or daughter's
various camp activities.
Yeah, well, thanks, uh, dude.
I must have signed up Jimjim for camp
while you were out shopping.
Darn memory black-outs.
Well, got to go, be back in two weeks.
Love you, mean it, bye.
We love you, too.
Have a good time at camp.
Stay away from bears.
I think that bus needs a new muffler.
Camouflage program, deactivate.
My little ruse worked,
and I've programmed Chip to send camp reports
back to all our parents while we're gone.
Totally awesome.
And now if you'll be good enough to tell us where we're going.
Aah, keep your cowlick curled.
The meteor came from that direction:
32 degrees north, 60 degrees west, at 7:10 last night.
Fasten your seat belts, gang.
We're headed deep inside the asteroid belt.
There goes Mars.
Hah! Look at those lame, little moons.
( teasingly ): Mars has tiny moons.
( teasingly ): Ours is bigger.
Sheen, stop teasing the planets.
Those moons are actually captured asteroids.
We'll see more of them in just a few minutes.
This is it, gang— the asteroid belt.
Cindy, Libby, place your gems on the scanner.
The meteor probably broke off
from one of these larger asteroids.
Spectral analysis should be able to tell us which one.
Bingo.
We've got a match.
Prepare for approach.
Take a look, everyone.
We're the first humans to set foot on an asteroid.
Wow, fascinating.
Okay, I'm bored.
I'm getting a reading in this direction.
Come on.
The scanner's going crazy.
This must be it!
Start digging.
Your power is weak, Gorloth.
My ultra shovel will defeat you.
Oh, no, it won't.
Oh, yes, it will.
Oh, no, it won't.
Yes, it will!
I found one.
I found one!
I found four.
Let me see, let me see!
All right, we're rich!
Let me see.
Well, Neutron, say something.
Aah! Our rubies!
These aren't real aster-rubies.
They're fool's rubies.
Fool's rubies?
They're almost identical to aster-rubies.
The scanner mistook them for the real thing.
Looks like we came all this way for nothing.
Bummer.
Can I keep playing with my shovel?
Thanks, Goddard.
Maybe my homemade burritos will cheer everyone up.
How could you misread your own readings?
Neutron, I'll bet there are more rocks in your big head
than there are in this stupid asteroid.
What do we do now?
I don't know.
We could spend years searching the belt.
We'd just be wasting our time.
Hey, look on the bright side, guys.
At least we still have our health.
Ow!
Carl, what did you put in this burrito?
Nothing.
Just some rice from the galley
and some beans I found growing in the ground.
W-Wait a minute.
Carl, take us to where you found these beans.
Right now!
Okay, I dug them up right here.
What's wrong?
Aren't they in season?
Look!
All the beans we need.
Tonight we feast!
We did it!
We struck aster-rubies.
Neutron, will you stop
making an idiot of yourself?
Why are we...
Carl, may I have this happy, giggly prospectors' dance?
I'd be delighted.
What a bunch of adorable, happy children.
It's a shame they'll have to be vaporized.
Sweetie, could you get that?
Ooh!
I'm busy making camp-themed cookies
for Jimmy's care package.
Oh, but I'm busy pressing jerky
for Jimmy's care package.
Oh, all right.
Hello.
This is Counselor Chip.
Your child...
Jimmy.
Is having a totally awesome time at camp.
He does request, however, that you send more socks,
so he can keep his feet warm on the chilly mountain
and/or coastal nights.
Okay.
Later.
Sugarbooger, drop those cookies.
We've got to get to the sock outlet, pronto.
Hello.
Vortex residence.
S'up, dude?
Your child...
Cindy.
Is having a totally awesome time at camp.
Lunch break, everybody!
Boy, that vein goes on forever.
We're going to be so rich.
What are you going to do
with your money, Cindy?
Nothing fancy.
I plan to live a simple, modest lifestyle.
That's cool.
How about you?
Me? I'm going to establish
the free nation of Kickitopia,
where under my queenship,
the people's right to party
shall not perish from this earth.
That's a good one, Libby,
but you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to retire to South America,
where I'll become a world- champion llama breeder.
Oh, me!
Pick me!
Just tell us!
Okay.
I'll use my great wealth
to combat crime.
Let all evildoers beware
the wrath of Dingleman.
That's not bad, Sheen.
As for me, there's one thing
I've always dreamed of possessing.
And now it'll be mine.
All mine!
I'm glad being fabulously wealthy won't change us.
What was that?
Disrupter blast.
Take cover!
Who's out there?
Oh, gee, sorry, kids.
My darn blaster must have misfired.
Who are you jerks?
Us?
Why, uh, we're, um...
We're, uh, asteroid inspectors.
Yeah, that's it.
We're asteroid inspectors.
Oh, this stinks.
If you're asteroid inspectors,
then let's see your badges.
Uh, Libby,
I don't think they need no stinking badges.
By the way, thanks ever so much
for mining these aster-rubies for us.
What?
In your dreams.
Those are our rubies,
you rotten bandits.
Bandits!
That kind of talk hurts, little girl.
Mm-hmm, hurts bad.
Besides, you don't really want these rubies.
Haven't you heard of ruby madness?
Ruby madness?
I'm glad you asked.
Anyone who finds a vein of aster-rubies
becomes consumed with horrible greed.
I've seen it happen dozens... hundreds... thousands of times.
If I could only reach the crane controls.
Goddard...
defensive plan delta.
Aw, look, they've got a cute little robot doggie.
I pity that dog.
Get those kids!
Mmm, it's delicious, but so spicy.
Oh!
One more step and you're space toast.
All right, all right, you win this round, kid.
But remember what I said about ruby madness.
It won't be long until you're all at each other's throats.
And we'll be waiting.
Uh, do you think he was telling the truth
about ruby madness?
Oh, please,
like we'd really turn against each other.
Hey, that one's mine!
Give it to me.
With those bandits around,
we should probably keep the rubies somewhere safe.
Good point.
The vault back at the rocket is the best place.
How come you get to hold the rubies?
In a safe that only you know the combination to?
Ruby madness!
It's tearing us apart!
Carl, easy!
There is no such thing as ruby madness.
If it makes you feel better, let's divide each day's take.
Everyone can be responsible for their share.
Fine. Fine.
Fine!
Your child...
Carl.
Has made some totally excellent macaroni sculpture,
but he does request that you send more Tick B Gone.
Forget the snake antivenin, Mother.
Our little boy is being swarmed by ticks.
I'll give you three seconds
to get away from my stash.
What are you talking about?
I was just going to the little miner's room.
Like you had no idea these were here.
Hey, sweet hiding place.
My rubies are over there by that strange rock formation.
You made me tell!
You want my rubies, you jewel thief!
Gem stealer!
Ruby madness!
Will you stop shouting that?
He tried to raid my ruby stash.
You told me your stash was by the rocket.
You lied.
I know you lied about your hiding place.
Liar!
Crook!
Ruby madness.
Be quiet!
What's wrong with you guys?
You've been fighting since we got rid of those bandits.
Are we going to let a few priceless gems
turn us into savages?
Goddard, no!
Bad dog!
Hey, Jimmy had his rubies hidden holographically.
Jimmy's a jewel hoarder.
I'll bet he's got secret stashes
all over the asteroid.
Maybe we can find them by using the mining crane.
Guys... Goddard!
What have I done?
Hey, let go.
I discovered them.
What? I saw them first.
Whoa!
Ruby...
madness.
Aah! Guys, stop!
You can't just blast away like that.
The asteroid might implode!
Oopsy.
Okay, that's my bad.
This entire asteroid is going to collapse.
We've got to get to the rocket!
But the... my rubies!
Engaging primary ignition...
now.
Whew.
We made it.
Keep on them, boys.
It's the bandits.
They'll get our rubies.
I might be able to lose them
by using a hyperthrust,
but it could dangerously deplete our fuel.
Just do it!
Whoa.
For the love of nebula.
That was awesome, I swear.
Hush your mouth, fool.
Our rubies are safe!
Well, not quite.
We've drifted too close to Jupiter
and are being sucked in by its gravity,
and the hyperthrust exhausted all our fuel.
Uh, in English, please.
We're doomed.
Oh, thank you.
We do have one chance.
If I convert the charged photons
in the aster-rubies into emergency fuel,
we can slingshot around Jupiter, using its gravity.
Use my rubies as fuel?
Never!
Cindy, we have to.
It's your rubies or your life.
Cindy!
What? I'm thinking.
Oh, all right.
Fasten your seat belts, people.
This could get a little bumpy.
Look, Sugarbooger, Jimbo's home from camp.
Sweetie, you're home so soon.
We haven't even finished
the white-water sculling canoe
we were going to send you.
Um, well, that's okay, Mom.
Thanks, anyway.
Neutron, the fuel tank.
See if any of the aster-rubies made it.
Oh.
Don't worry, guys.
Maybe we're still wealthy.
You mean you saved some rubies?
No, but we survived
by learning to help each other,
and that's what makes us rich— rich in friendship.
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org