Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DDUCATIONU.S. DDUCATION
and NICKELODEON
Now, tomorrow is Valentine's Day, children,
a day when hidden, untamed desires bewitch our hearts.
Plus you get free candy!
I'm sending one card to each member of Guys2Boys
to boost my odds.
How are your cards coming?
Almost done.
I just need my mom's lawyer to look them over
so I'm not obligated to pursue a relationship.
"Dear Fudgie Pops, I love you very, very, very, very, very...
very, very, very, very...
This is dumb.
The only female I've ever been attracted to is Madame Curie,
the mother of modern radiology—
in a purely platonic way, of course.
Place the heart center...
Over more!
Now, okay, add more macaroni
to symbolize your devotion to me.
But, Honey Dumpling, the paste is making me woozy.
So, you don't love me.
Oh...
More macaroni!
Okay.
Yuck!
How could a regular guy like Oleander
sink so low?
Oh, Jimmy, it's only a matter of time
before your young heart
is impaled by the pointy darts of love.
Oo... coconut haystack?
"A matter of time," huh?
Not if I can help it.
Hey, Jimmy...
we got here as soon as you called.
Let us in.
Gentlemen,
you are about to witness the completion
of my most dangerous experiment yet.
More powerful than the atom bomb,
more lethal than an orbiting space laser.
I give you... Pheromone Number 976/J.
It's horrifying!
What's a pheromone?
It's the chemical hormone that makes boys like girls.
One whiff of this stuff will make a guy fall in love
with the first girl he sees.
You madman!
What have you done?
It's got to be destroyed!
Sheen, no!
I'm going to use the pheromone
to develop an anti-love vaccine.
But, Jimmy, girls aren't so bad.
I mean, they have good communication skills
and they almost never beat you up after school.
Carl, do you want to end up
like Oleander?
You mean, defeated, numb, stripped of his own free will?
Well, the same thing is going to happen to us
unless I can develop an immunity serum first.
I'll keep the pheromone inside
this vacuum-sealed containment area
until the vaccine is fully developed.
Any questions?
Can I check my e-mail?
I want to make sure
my cheese-of-the-month is on its way.
Sure, Carl, the computer's over there.
Hey, Sheen, help me lock down this sprocket inverter.
This month's cheese is gouda-feta.
Huh.
Eenie, meenie, minie, moe.
Hey, Jimmy, your computer's acting funny.
Just a second, Carl.
Must be this one.
It's no use, Sheen.
We'll have to get a flange spanner up at the house.
Be right back, Carl.
Sure thing, Jim.
Look, Libby,
it's Lose and Loser.
Oh, yeah, Vortex?
Well, for your information...
Good comeback, Count Dorkula.
Jimmy! don't let her
talk to you like that, she's...
she's like some beautiful queen of the galaxy,
strong, yet yielding.
I got to go.
It's been a real stimulating conversation— not!
Wait, my queen!
Your loyal subject bids you command him!
What's your problem, Freakboy?
I'm out of here, King Cranium.
"King Cranium," 'cause his head's so big—
that's rich.
Me see you soon day!
"Me see you soon day"?
What a stupid thing to say.
Wait, why do I care what Cindy thinks?
And why did I become lost in her limpid green eyes?
I've been in the lab too long.
Um, excuse me, Mrs. Neutron?
Yes, Carl?
Have you seen Jimmy and...
Oh, Mrs. Neutron...
you smell like pine cones.
Sugarbooger, how's my little bundle of fun?
We'll speak of this later.
What's wrong with me?
I've got to get Cindy out of my mind.
Maybe if I just concentrate.
Think of prime numbers.
Oh, no, I've got to face the truth.
I've fallen in love wi.
What are you doing?
I'm proving my love by performing
the Arcturian Dance of Wooing
from Episode 921, "The Courtship of Ultralord's Father."
Well, cut it out!
I don't want the neighbors to see you.
My queen is chagrined?
I'm not your queen!
Now get off my lawn.
But shining one, I bear gifts.
What is that?
His name is Meltyface.
He was my very first action figure.
I retired him after a horrible steam iron accident,
but he's still my favorite.
And you're giving him to me?
Wow, that's really... nice.
Libby, uh, would you do me the honor
of going out with me tomorrow night on Valentine's Day?
Actually, I have to go do...
Sure, why not?
It might be fun.
Yes!
Okay, you've got to stop doing that.
What we have is beautiful
and you can't destroy it!
All righty, then.
Found her... my adorable little angel is at the Candy Bar.
And then, when I got inside,
I discovered that Meltyface needed a really good washing.
Ooo, Libby, what are thinking?
Sheen's almost as bad as Neutron.
But he's cute...
in a clueless, hyperactive kind of way.
Lib, you can do so much better.
A girl should never settle for anything less
than the perfect Valentine.
Oh, yeah?
Well, what's your idea of the perfect Valentine?
Well, if you really want to know?
That's why I won't settle.
I know that someday that special, magical someone
will appear when I least expect it.
I can't talk, I can't think.
Everywhere I go, you're there.
What kind of sick joke is this?
Oh, you're going make me say it, aren't you?
All right, then, I'll say it.
I love you, Cindy Vortex!
Mmm, pecan ripple, your favorite.
You messy little hooligan!
I just cleaned that floor eight months ago!
You're out of here!
Yeah, yeah.
I don't get it.
Why would Neutron purposely embarrass himself like that?
Have you considered the possibility
that he actually does like you?
Oh... it can't be!
But it's the only explanation.
Hey, Dweebtron!
So you like me, huh?
Well, what are you prepared to do about it?
Uh... want to come over to the lab tomorrow?
Watch a movie?
How's 2:00?
Hmm... I'll give you one chance, Neutron.
But if this is a trick,
you'll have to go back in time
to make sure you were never born.
I did it!
She likes me!
She's going to go out with me!
I made a date with Cindy!
No!
This is it, this is the day.
I've got to get ready for my date with Cindy.
Oh, no!
Look at this mess!
Switch to vacuum mode.
Hmm. Not bad.
But these clothes have got to go.
VOX, wardrobe change RP-829.
Access holographic room imaging, "Hef".
Let the dating begin.
So where exactly are we going?
You'll see soon enough, Oh Bringer of Pain and Delight.
Sheen, could you cut that out?
The whole goddess thing is flattering,
but it gets old very quickly.
Really?
Then we're going to have a slight problem.
How come?
Because I have erected
a glorious shrine to your divine essence!
What the... ?
I used every action figure I possess to build it.
I was going to go for an Art Deco feel,
but then I said, "No! Action figures!"
Sheen, this is so weird.
But sweet— in a geeky kind of way.
Libby, will you be my valentine?
Well... sure, Sheen— of course I'll be your valentine.
Oh, Hugh, what a perfect way
to spend Valentine's Day.
And there's no one else I'd rather spend it with, Puddin' Pants.
Here comes Mr. Walking...
( giggling ): Oh, Hugh.
Walking, walking, walking, walking...
Monkey!
I'm so sorry.
( in poor Italian accent ): My monkey, he's no bother you, see?
Well, I'll be!
An honest-to-gosh organ grinder.
Oh, look at the adorable, unlicensed little monkey.
Oh, you cute little monkey.
Ow! Get him off me!
Hugh, honey, be careful!
It's okay, honey, I think he just wants to wrestle.
Ow!
Oh, that's a fun...
Ow!
Ooh, that tickles.
There can be no masks between us, Judy.
Carl?
Alone at last.
I must be out of my mind.
Wow, Neutron, you clean up good.
Oh, well... thanks, um...
Purple Flurp?
Yeah, thanks.
Listen, Neutron, about this afternoon...
I know, I know— I'm pretty dumb.
I mean, technically, I'm a genius...
What I mean is...
Oh, this isn't coming out right.
Uh, Neutron, are you nervous?
Nervous? Me?
Ridiculous!
Well, down the hatch.
Look, Neutron,
I'm just as weirded out by this as you are,
but you said you loved me.
What's up with that?
I wish I knew— I've never felt this way before.
I'm cold, clammy and confused, but the strange thing is...
I think I actually like it.
I think that this is my favorite part of Valentine's Day.
What are you doing?
Well, as my valentine,
you must now defeat your rivals in pitched combat.
My rivals?
Of course.
Only then can we ascend the sacred altar
and take our solemn vows.
Vows?
No... now, wait a minute.
Okay, you don't seem to have any rivals.
So I'll be your sparring partner!
Try to overcome me with the deadly Ton-Thar.
Are you having some kind of, um, episode?
( strangled ): Not bad for a beginner.
Listen, I'm sorry,
but this just isn't going to work.
Do I offend?
It just feels like all this is happening too fast.
Maybe what you and I need
is more time to work on our "friendship."
But what about our battle skills?
Sheen, look, you're nice.
But can we please take things down just a notch?
I could do that.
Thank you.
And thanks for the card.
Welcome.
This is going to be a long holiday.
Judy, will you be my valentine?
Oh, Carl, this is so...
( uncertainly ): sweet.
Thanks.
I sprayed it with my dad's cologne.
It's called "Bunion Begone."
Um, Carl, Mr. Neutron and I...
See, sometimes people like to have private time—
just the two of them.
Gotcha.
( whispering ): How do we get rid of the deadwood?
Oh, well, you know what they say.
"It's all fun and games
until a monkey bites you on the eye."
Oh, honey.
I'll meet you tonight at the playground.
I got so caught up in this hot monkey action,
I... I forgot to give you this.
Here.
Butterbonnet,
will you be my valentine?
Oh, Hugh!
Of course I will.
Oh, careful— not the eye.
Oh, dear.
Mmm...
I'm not usually
very romantic, but, uh... I made this for you.
Uh... thanks?
I have a question to ask you.
It's a big question.
Spit it out, Neutron!
Okay, here... here it goes.
Cindy, will you be my... val... my val...
Your "val"?
My va... my va-va...
Hey.
What's that light doing on?
Look, Neutron, we both know what you want to say,
so just say it.
Okay, okay, okay!
Cindy... will you be my valentine?
Neutron, you silver-tongued, pointy-headed devil.
I thought you'd never ask.
The pheromone beaker!
It's broken!
The air vent is wide open!
I must have been exposed without realizing it.
Neutron, I thought you wanted to be my valentine.
I do!
Uh, but not really.
I mean, you're so beautiful,
but you're so gross— I mean...
Neutron, do you want to be my valentine or don't you?
Hey!
What's going on?
I'm sorry!
I love you, but I'm supposed to hate you.
Neutron, you are so dead!
Ah... her hair smells like jasmine.
I've got to snap out of it— I almost kissed her!
Got to think, think, think.
This month's cheese is Gouda-feta,
Gouda-feta, Gouda-feta...
Brain blast!
The love pheromone works through sense of smell.
By dulling the nose's olfactory receptors,
I should be able to counteract its influence.
And I think I know just the way to do it.
Gouda-feta.
Hey, Jimmy,
thanks for fixing things before I married Libby.
Yeah, and before I became your step-dad.
Don't thank me, thank your "Cheese of the Month" club.
Way to stink up
the school, Geektron!
When I think of how close we came to dating
those cheese-wearing yahoos, it gives me the creeps.
Ah, the sweet smell of.
Come on, guys.
Let's sit in the sun
so these little beauties can ripen.
Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org