And the interconnecting strands
won't lose their elasticity.
And that's how you make a homemade hairnet.
Yeah, that's great, Dad.
But what we asked was, "Why are you wearing that helmet?"
Oh, sorry, I can't hear you that well.
I'm wearing a helmet. You're probably wondering why.
You see, your mother sent me to buy myself some
exercise equipment, and I was going to get an exercise bike,
but I thought I'd need a helmet first.
For an exercise bike?
No, for the exercise bike.
I tried this one on, and guess what?
It was too small and you couldn't take it off, so you had
to buy it, or they wouldn't let you leave the store?
No. It was too small so I couldn't take it off,
and I had to buy it, or they wouldn't let me leave the store.
Huh?
Ah! What are you doing there?
Sorry, that was getting really annoying.
Hmm. So I can't hear very well,
and I have extremely limited peripheral vision.
Do you kids want to hop in the car and go for a drive?
Absolutely not.
Great! Let's go grab some lunch!
Mind the Steps!
Shouldn't we do something about that?
And the trash!
Hmm, you're right.
There. Now we can hear the TV again.
Hmm. It's so quiet today.
Hardly any traffic on the roads.
Shame about all these potholes, though.
A parking spot right outside Joyful Burger!
You kids wait here. I'll get lunch.
For the last time, Bill,
this is a bank not a dating agency.
Oh.
Oh, my gosh, this is really happening!
Remember what they told us, Larry...
Employees can be replaced, money can't!
Oh, forget the training!
We're being robbed! We're being Robbed!
Hmm. Must be someone's birthday.
Everybody throw your hands in the air!
Okay. You have a choice to make.
Ah, heck, let's just make this easy on both of us.
I'll take everything you've got.
Uh, how do you want that, sir?
Uh, just in the normal brown bags is fine.
Don't be a hero, Larry! I'm not being a hero!
Just give him what he wants, Larry, don't be hero!
I'm not!
Okay, sir, that's everything.
Pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen.
Don't do it, Larry! Don't press the alarm!
Don't be a hero!
What is your problem! What do you think you're doing?
Oh, yeah, that reminds me.
We need to settle up.
No, no, no! Please don't!
Okay!
What a great day.
We got a free lunch, roads are all quiet.
Even you two are behaving yourselves.
So even though Larry is screaming like a baby,
I managed to keep a cool head.
I said to the robber, "If you're going to hurt these citizens,
you're going to have to come through me first."
Wow, so brave.
I'm gonna make sure the mayor gives you a medal for this.
Uh, that's not actually what hap...
Hey, we're gonna get to your cowardly ramblings in a second.
Don't let this man bother you, sir.
Please, continue.
Then Larry handed over all the money and the guy ran off.
If you ask me, Larry was a bit too cooperative.
So you think this was an inside job?
Ah, what do I know? I'm just a hero.
I've heard enough. Arrest this man!
Case closed!
Uh, Chief, we don't have the money.
Or the man who took it.
I'm reopening the case.
Okay, boys, I want roadblocks here, here, and here.
You do realize that's a map of Paris.
Like I said, we think he's gonna skip the country,
most likely to Paris.
Beautiful city, Chief... City of Love.
Why aren't you out there catching this guy?
Sir, please, don't make us give you another full body search.
Uh, Chief? Take a look at the TV.
If its that video of the owl riding the llama, I've seen it.
No, that.
And now a breaking story.
A bank robber is making his getaway.
Normally, we would call it a high-speed police chase,
but the police haven't really started following him yet.
So at the moment, it's more of a leisurely drive.
Can you guys believe what's on TV?
I know! That owl is riding a llama!
What a time to be alive.
No, you butt-clowns. On Channel 6.
Cool! Cool!
Oh, I love these things! Sometimes they get out and run.
It's like, "Dude, what are you doing?"
You're in a car!
That's our car!
The bank robber must have stolen it!
Oh, I hope Richard's okay!
Uh, Mom, that's Dad driving it.
I'll kill him!
Yes, sir, no one is gonna get through
a roadblock like this.
Why not build the actual roadblock?
What would be the point in spending
all that taxpayer money building the model
if we're not even going to use it?
Then I'm not going to pay my taxes.
Really? Boys!
To give the illusion of varied coverage,
let's go to our man in the street
and get his eyewitness report. Mike?
Well, I'm at ground level, so I can't really see anything.
Uh, back to the chopper.
And we've lost him.
You'll never believe what happened!
I got us a free lunch!
No, Richard, you robbed a bank!
Mom, he can't hear with that thing on.
It's all over the news! It's on every channel!
Really, for free burgers? Slow news day.
Richard, you didn't go to Joyful Burger.
You went to the bank, and you stole $2 million.
Oh, my gosh!
We have no lunch!
We gotta return that money.
But we're gonna need to be clever about it.
Taxi!
Why didn't we use a suitcase like that?
This is all we had.
Besides, I don't want to give away a nice one.
Richard, just go!
Ah. One thing.
Good luck.
It feels good to do the right thing, Mom.
I mean sure, that $2 million could have paid off the house,
our debt, and let you take an early retirement, but...
Somebody, stop him!
Bring him down, bring him down! Stop that man!
- Oh, hi, Mr. Watterson! - Hi.
I mean, hi.
Say, I'd love to stay and chat,
but we're on the trail of a bank robber.
Oh, yeah. I heard about that, ha.
Maybe it was an accident?
Accidental bank robbery? That actually carries
a higher jail time than regular bank robberies.
Hey, Earl, what we looking at for accidental?
Life... at least. And that's too good
for 'em, if you ask me! Am I right, fellas?
- Yeah, yeah, you're right! - The worst!
- I know, right? - Don't even get me started!
Anyway, what brings you here?
We need another plan.
Uh, excuse me. So sorry to interrupt.
Uh, you forgot your...
Here you go.
Okay, well, uh...
enjoy your alleyway.
All right, here's the plan. We do a heist.
- Huh? - But in reverse.
It's a normal day at the bank,
and a mailman brings a mysterious package.
He takes it to an unsuspecting Larry at the counter,
who signs for it and reads instructions telling him
not to open it until Christmas.
Naturally, Larry would want to keep the box safe.
And where is safer than the bank's vault?
At the end of the day, when everyone has left,
I make my move.
I make my way to the safety deposit boxes,
avoiding the high-tech state- of-the-art security system.
All I have to do is put the money back.
I put the money back...
Really?
I put the money back...
in our account. We purchase first-class
one-way tickets to Martinique and spend the rest of our lives
living in sunshine and total luxury!
Mom! Mom! Mom!
Should have seen that coming.
Ooh, ooh! I've got one!
It's the dead of night, and I've got the cash.
I go to an ATM, but instead of taking money out,
I put the money in.
Hold your horses, bucky-o.
I've been eyeballing you cramming that there money box
full of Benjamins for the last three days.
It's a first-class ticket to the birdhouse for you.
Kapoosh?
- Birdhouse? - Bucky-o?
Kapoosh?
What? That's how cops talk!
No one speaks like that
in this or any other branch of reality, kapoosh?
Agh! Okay, here's what we do.
We put the money back from inside.
You see, the bank accepts one internship every year.
I study to take the financial services exam
and pass with distinction.
Working weekends
and taking every hour of overtime available,
I work my way up from intern to assistant manager,
assistant manager to manager,
and from manager to regional manager.
All I need to do then is deposit a dollar a day
into the bank's central account
as an aggregated transactional fee every day,
thus returning the money.
One single dollar every single day.
Practically undetectable.
Wait, giving back $2 million one day at a time?
Wouldn't you have to work there for like...
two m-mi-million days?
Oh, yeah.
No, wait... I've got it!
Just before the police catch me,
I manage to bury the money somewhere no one will find it.
And so I know where it is, I leave myself a subtle clue.
After being apprehended, I'm sentenced
to 20 years in the state penitentiary.
But I have a plan!
I'm going to tunnel my way out.
Unfortunately, all they had in the canteen was plastic forks.
It took me 20 years, but I was out.
Then all I have to do is collect the money.
What the...
Hey? What's going on?
Oh, Richard darling! Mwah! Mwah!
How lovely to see you.
Did you spend all the money?
Well, it seemed rather a shame not to.
Yes, Papa, it wasn't even earning interest.
Wait, how did you know where I hid it?
We're watching your flash-forward.
Oh, come on! That doesn't seem fair!
You did rob a bank. Hmph!
Darwin, do you have an idea?
Darwin?
I did it!
I just dropped the money back in the bank.
Problem solved!
We did it! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
Uh, you guys are gonna have to clear the area.
We just found a suspicious package in the bank!
But don't worry, we're going to do a controlled explosion!
Well, we tried.