Dude, wake up!
- What? - It's finally here.
The most magical day of all.
What, the day where the old, hairy man breaks into houses
in the dead of night with a bag for the children?
What? No, and for the record,
that's the creepiest description of Christmas I've ever heard.
I meant today is the day we veg out.
You don't want to do anything at all today?
No, I'm on strike.
It's like if the tiniest thing happens in this town,
we end up running a gosh-darned marathon.
Look at these.
Fair enough. So, what are we gonna do?
Whatever happens, we do absolutely nothing.
First, we shall neither bathe nor groom ourselves.
Instead, we shall clothe ourselves
in the ceremonial robes of the blanket toga.
Then we shall open and close the door of the fridge
so many times that we lower our standards,
so many times that we eventually settle
for a feast of expired pickles, slightly fermented orange juice,
and what was once butter but may now be cheese.
If the glasses are dirty, we shall drink out of bowls.
And if the bowls are dirty, we shall drink out of plates!
We shall nest under a blanket on the sofa for so long
that when we stand up, we will suffer vertigo
and immediately have to lie back down.
And we shall continue to do naught
until we are plagued with the guilt of laziness,
and the sweat on our foreheads has turned to grease!
Then, my friend, and only then
will we have earned the right to go to bed
in our own juices.
All right. So, when do we get up?
When the discomfort of having to go to the bathroom
exceeds the joy of lying in bed. Hmm.
There. This should prevent
chafing from too much sitting. Now do my chin.
Okay, but why do you need lip balm there?
'Cause TV face.
'Kay, by the way, why is the TV the wrong way around?
Taking it to the next level, huh?
Yep. The next level down.
Should I bring a bucket in case we need to,
y-you know, powder our nose?
Slackies — when you got to go, but you don't want to leave.
But what if we need to change video game?
Mm-hmm.
Wow, I guess you really thought of everything.
But what if someone rings the doorbell?
Oh, I've got a life hack for that, as well.
- What? - I don't answer it.
Come on, let's get into position.
Oh, sorry.
Aw, man, the phone!
- What do we do? - Nothing.
It's really annoying, though.
So the phone's ringing. Big deal.
We just wait until our brains tune it out.
See, it just went awa—
This is NASA! You need to get out!
There's a meteorite in direct collision course with Elmore...
So there's some space scientist outside.
Big deal. We just wait until our brains tune it out.
You need to leave your home —
So there's a meteorite in the living room.
Big deal. We just wait until our brains tune it out.
So there's a bit of a virus going around. Big deal.
We just wait until our brains tune it out.
So people have six legs now. Big deal.
We just wait until our brains tune it out.
It may seem this is the end for our kind,
but your blood may contain the key —
The princess is ready for her wedding.
How does it feel to be married to a wife from another planet?
See, it simply went away.
Who the who is that?
Ito maki maki, ito maki maki,
ito ito, ton ton ton.
I think we should stop tuning things out.
I'm kind of losing the plot here.
Meh.
You're not gonna ask me how I got here?
Mm... nah.
Coming up next, Robot Dinosaur Destruction Derby...
Yay. has been replaced by a documentary
about the Swedish sheet metal industry.
- Ugh. - Ugh.
Gothenburg, 1953.
You know what? Forget it.
Maybe there'll be
a cool accident at the sheet metal factory.
And their factories are the safest in the world.
- What? - Do you want to play a game?
Oh, sure, I got a game!
- And how do we play? - Like this.
Aw, man, why is the universe
so determined to make us move today?
Wouldn't its time be better spent
sorting out poverty or world hunger
or those awful dog filters on Chat-Snap?
What now?
The game is on. I'm here.
Then why are you calling me?
- Ugh. - Ugh.
Really? You gonna do me like that?
Ugh, can we just not do this right now?
Do you know how long it took to do my hair?
What, you think it's easy to look like this?
You didn't even look at it.
Do you even want to know what's in the box?
Wow.
Okay. I think I'm gonna go.
It was a cursed teddy bear with human teeth.
It was gonna creep closer to you every time you looked away.
Mm, wow. Th-That sounds really scary.
Don't! The surprise is ruined now.
- Ugh. W-Wait up! - Yes?
Pass us the remote before you go, yeah?
Just one last thing before I —
You can go, too, by the way.
Okay. Hyah-ee! Teleportation!
Ah! Burrito delivery!
I thought we weren't getting up. No need to.
Uh, hey! Can you post the burritos through the mail slot?
What? Ugh. W-What part of that didn't make sense?
Everything from "post" to "slot," if I'm honest,
but the customer's always right, I guess.
Did you bring the extra guac?
Okay, now feed your hands through the mail slot.
What? Why? Do you want your tip or not, dude?
'Kay, there's a shovel to your left. Grab it.
Now use it to flip the burritos towards us.
What? That's crazy. I didn't sign up for this.
It says on your website that you deliver
directly to us in under 20 minutes,
and the clock is ticking, man.
Eh, okay, okay.
No, no, wrong end of the shovel.
No, wrong direction.
Come on, buddy, time's running out.
Mm-kay, now hold out the shovel for your tip.
There's nothing here.
Eh, just keep the shovel, then.
Darn kids never appreciate anything.
Are you calling the TV repairman?
Nah, I'm video-calling Banana Joe.
Hey, man! Thanks for calling. Want to hang out?
- No. - Oh.
- Then what can I do for you? - Turn your phone to the TV.
Okay. Anything else?
Yeah, stop talking. I'm trying to listen.
Okay.
Yeah, and could you stop breathing, please?
- I can't hear. - No problemo.
Ow. What is going on here?
All right, universe! Bring it on!
Okay, maybe we need to at least deal with that.
Eh, in a minute.
- You said you'd deal with it. - I said I'd do it in a minute.
You don't have to remind me every hour.
I think I'm gonna pass out.
Oh, good idea! Just lie down flatter.
Uh, heat goes up, right?
We interrupt this with some breaking news.
The police and fire departments
are desperately trying to rescue a family
who crashed their car on a freeway bridge.
The authorities are unable to approach the vehicle
due to the bridge's extreme instability.
However, they say it may be able to support a lighter weight
such as one, maybe two, 12-year-old boys.
Come on, Darwin, we got to go!
Uh, wait. Maybe not.
Oh, no, we do have to go!
Or maybe not.
All right, all right, we're going! Man.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yes. It'd be far too much effort
to make the detour to get those leaf blowers.
Exactly.
Wait, I've got a better idea. We got wheels!
We just have to stop and let the rotation of the earth
do the leg work for us.
All right, let's just call the cab company.
Hello? Gumball? What do you mean you need a ride?
I'm dangling off a bridge here. No, I can't.
No, Dad can't, either. We're stuck here in mortal d—
Look, I don't have time for this.
Hello?
Yeah, sure I can. What time?
Uh, I mean your mom already said no, goodbye.
No dice.
Oh, I got an idea.
"Your order is being delivered —"
Did anyone order anything?
You mind moving forward a little?
A little more.
Little more.
Okay, perfect.
- That'll be $35! - What?
Sorry, we couldn't be bothered to buy stamps, so we improvised.
Can you just help us out, please?
And here's your change.
I'm coming!
They're not gonna make it!
We're gonna have to get up from our chairs.
Not on my day off.
Gumball, you did it.
- Come here, son. - Nah, you come here.
- Ugh. - Ugh.
So, what's left on our to-do list?
- Nuttin'. - Well, I guess
we better get on with it.
"This is a message from the future.
The strange things that happened today were for a reason.
And it was all the work of..."
Oh, my gosh. Darwin.
Who could be sending that message?
No, I mean I just found couch candy!
- Whoo-hoo! - Whoa!