♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪
♪ That no one understands ♪
♪ Mom and dad and vicky ♪
♪ Always giving him commands ♪
Bed, twerp!
♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪
♪ Is broken instantly ♪
♪ By his magic little fish ♪
♪ Who grant his every wish ♪
♪ 'cause in reality ♪
♪ They are his oddparents ♪
♪ Fairly oddparents ♪
Wands and wings.
Floaty crowny things.
♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪
♪ Really mod, pea pod ♪
♪ Buff bod, hot rod ♪
♪ Obtuse, rubber goose ♪
♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪
♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪
♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪
♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪
♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪
♪ With fairly oddparents ♪
Yeah, right.
Captioning made possible by u.S. Department of education
And nickelodeon
Puny humans!
We shall now suck out your brains...
With bendy straws!
[gasps]
You can suck out our minds, livers, and spleens,
But we will never surrender.
Silence, captain laser pants.
No one can save you now.
It's crash nebula!
Hurrah!
Intergalactic scum,
Your reign of terror ends...
Now!
Tv: ♪ Crash nebula ♪
♪ Crash nebula, space hero, is on his way... ♪
It's pretty cool, huh, chester?
Yeah. Don't you think, a.J.?
Positively.
Tv narrator: will crash nebula escape
The evil clutches of the clutchulax?
Tune in next week for another exciting episode of...
Crash nebula!
That was the best episode ever.
Right guys? Guys?
Get him!
Meddling humans! You'll never catch me.
[sniff sniff]
I smell fun.
Two against one, huh?
Mother ship! Come in, mother ship!
This is timmy calling cosmo and wanda.
Do you read?
Aye, aye, captain timmy, sir.
Uh, he said, "mother ship."
That means i'm in charge.
Awaiting orders, your space macho-Ness.
I need more firepower.
You've got it, kiddo.
More firepower, lackey.
I want a father ship next time.
Cool!
Killer crash suit, dude.
Yes. Wherever did you get it?
Internet.
Cool. Now all we need is an alien
And we can reenact episode 621 of crash nebula.
[whispering] i wish we had an alien monster to play with.
Great job on the alien, guys.
It's so lifelike.
Of course it is. He's real.
We're not so good at creating aliens.
Yeah. So we borrowed one.
What!
Queen jipjurrulec, you seem troubled.
Yes, king grippulon.
Our son hasn't tortured the prisoners yet today.
Hmm. That's not like mark.
Computer, find mark.
Uh, readings show that your son has been taken to earth.
[crying] oh, not earth!
Assemble the star destroyers.
We'll blow up that foul planet and get our son back.
Uh, not necessarily in that order.
[screaming]
Amazing.
A fully automated, automatonic space alien!
Puny humans!
What's up? I'm going to suck your brains
Through these bendy straws.
Cool. Actual crash nebula dialog.
You earth children are not afraid of me?
Or my straws?
[sniff sniff]
Hey! Authentic alien bad breath.
I'm telling you for the last time...
[shouting] keep it quiet up here!
She's terrified the children in a way i could not.
You in the stupid alien costume,
You're out of here!
But vicky—
You can play with your geek buddy
After you clean up this room!
Ooh, she's so...
Forceful!
Queen: you wouldn't have to blow up all these planets
If you'd just stop for directions.
Quiet! I'm still the king around here.
King of getting lost.
Silence!
Psst! Timmy.
What is it?
Uh, we have good news and bad news.
What's the good news?
The alien we got you is actually a prince
From the dreaded war planet yugopatamia.
And his parents are on their way
To destroy the earth and rescue their son.
What's the bad news?
Oh, wait. That was the bad news.
Then what's the good news?
I found a nickel.
Ok, then...
I wish the alien was back home.
Well? Is he gone?
Uh...
More good news, nickel boy?
My nickel!
It seems our alien prince has fallen in love with vicky.
And the rules say we can't interfere with true love.
We've got to talk the alien out of loving vicky.
Dude, are you talking to your fish?
Yes—uh, guys,
We need to get the alien away from vicky.
It's, uh, a collectable.
Superlative.
Hmm. So why would she take it?
She's not even a fan.
She'll probably sell it to buy makeup and other girl stuff.
Let's go.
Vicky: you know, i could sell your stupid costume
For makeup and other girl stuff.
Vicky, the fear you instilled in the young ones was enchanting.
Hmm, you talk funny.
Are you from europe or something?
I'm a warrior prince from yugopatamia
My name is mark.
Yech! You're a foreign exchange student.
Take off that stupid costume.
Does this form not please you?
[sighs] look, if you want to please me so much,
Why don't you make me a chocolate shake?
Chocolate!
That's like the foulest substance known on my planet!
Ah ha!
You rock!
Alien toy, we're here to save you from vicky.
I do not wish to be saved from vicky.
Vicky's the foulest, most evil creature in the universe.
I know. Isn't she awesome?
You two will make excellent appetizers for vicky.
Cool. This is just like what happened in today's crash nebula episode.
Timmy: yech. How can anyone fall in love with her?
Uh, timmy, there's something we've got to show you.
Wanda: seems like we have less time than we thought.
Oh, no. I'd better go talk to the alien's parents.
Maybe they can talk some sense into their son.
Good idea.
We can't destroy true love.
But parents can.
Halt! Who goes there?
Cosmo, wanda, and timmy of earth.
We need to speak with mark's parents.
If the king and queen you wish to see,
Then you must face the perils 3.
Now, puny human, you must skip across the dreaded...
Field of flowers.
They're beautiful.
I mean, gasp!
Well, here goes nothing.
Really.
Amazing. The flowers touch his skin,
But he neither bleeds nor burns.
Ta da.
[gasps]
Behold the second task.
You must hug the galaxy's cutest and softest teddy bear.
[gasps]
You can do it, timmy.
The fate of the earth depends on it.
Oh, all right.
Teddy: i love you.
[screaming]
We don't understand!
He didn't burst into flames.
Never fear, my queen.
Not even our mightiest warriors can survive the final test.
Is that?
It can't be.
It is.
Chocolate.
Not so high and mighty now, are you, earth punk?
For your last task, you must eat the chocolate bar.
Sure.
I mean, not chocolate!
Anything but that!
Please don't make me eat it!
Hey! There's peanuts in it!
[screaming]
You are truly the foulest creature in the universe.
You may speak to the king and queen.
A mere child has passed our toughest test.
Your kind are very powerful indeed.
Oh, please don't hurt us.
We just want our son back.
I, timmy, candy crunching warrior of earth,
Have good news and bad news.
The good news is i've named my nickel philip.
What's the bad news?
It's a girl nickel!
There's a problem with an earth girl.
He's fallen in love with her.
I and my race of flower skipping, bear hugging
Chocolate eating warriors will not stand for this.
We-We'll talk to mark.
We'll set things straight.
Just don't eat the chocolate again!
[screams]
Mark: ok, dudes. Things aren't going well with vicky,
So i've decided to suck out your brains and give them to her as gifts.
You can suck out our minds, livers, and spleens,
But we will never surrender.
Silence puny earth children!
No one can save you now.
Tim nebula!
Intergalactic scum! Your reign of terror ends now.
Excellent.
Another brain i can give to vicky.
[door bell ringing]
Oh, what now?
Hello. We're mr. And mrs... Chang,
And we've come to pick up our son mark.
Vicky: mark? Get out here!
My beloved calls me.
I'll be back to suck your brains out in a moment. Later.
Mother, father. What are you doing here?
Mark, enough of this foolishness.
It's time to go, pal.
I cannot go with you, for i am in love with vicky.
You see, she taught me something today.
It does not matter how hideous you are on the outside
But how evil and vicious you are on the inside.
Right? Am i right?
Well, if you're in love—
Uh, no, son. It would never work.
She's not where we're from.
You mean europe?
Ok.
Mark, listen to your father and go back to the ship—i mean, car.
Whatever.
I'll never forget you, mark,
For an exchange student from yugo...
Europe.
Hey! I found a nickel.
Philip!
Timmy, that was the best game of crash nebula ever.
Dude, you rock.
Thanks, guys.
Narrator: will timmy's secret ever be exposed?
Will cosmo and philip the nickel ever be reunited?
Tune in next week for another exciting episode of...
The fairly oddparents.
Cool!
Boy: well, mr. Crocker, for show and tell i brung my dog, mange.
[growls]
And this is what he eats.
First graders.
They keep his pelt shiny.
[gasps]
I don't know about this, guys.
Oh, don't be nervous, timmy.
You're going to have the best show and tell day ever.
Trust us.
Yeah! How many other kids have fairy godparents
That can magically produce an extinct polywalyoctosaurus?
It was my idea.
No, it was my idea.
Well, it was my idea to take your idea.
It was her idea.
Thank you, francis.
That was riveting.
Can you guess what letter dog starts with?
Uh, "d"?
Right. Congratulations.
Timmy turner, would you care to come up and bore us
With whatever you dragged into school today?
Fellow students, behold the glory of when the world was young,
And dinosaurs walked across pangaea.
Behold the letter that dinosaur starts with.
Dude, what's with the chicken?
It's not a chicken. It's a—
Polywalyoctosaurus.
Yeah, what he said.
Note the dinosaur-Like jawbone.
And the dinosaur-Like tail.
And look, a dinosaur-Like belly.
A dinosaur? Extraordinary.
No normal child could have accessed that type of genetic technology.
There's only one logical explanation.
Fairy godparents!
[laughter]
That's all right, mr. Turner. No harm done.
I would, however, like to have a word with your fairy god—
I mean, parents.
Plain, everyday, don't have magical powers parents.
First thing tomorrow.
[phone dialing]
Dudes, you got to help me find my show and tell thing.
You mean the chicken?
It wasn't a chicken.
It was my, uh...
Uncle's dog in a polywalyoctosaurus suit.
And i got to get it back.
We're on it.
Doesn't anyone say good-Bye anymore?
We're really sorry about making show and tell day a mess, timmy.
Yeah. Come on, hit me and make a mess out of me.
That'll make you feel better.
I'm going to need a bat.
Yeah.
Oh, i can't believe this.
How am i going to explain to my parents that i brought a dinosaur to school?
Well, i don't know, but knocking the candy out of me
Isn't going to solve anything.
Why don't we pretend we're your parents
And talk to this mr. Crocker guy for you?
That's a great idea.
It was my idea.
I wish you guys could pose as my parents.
Yippee. That hurt.
No, cosmo, you're supposed to say "ouch" when you're hurt.
Oh. Yippee, that ouched.
Wow. The plan's already falling apart.
Where's the bat?
Welcome to the school of basic human training.
If you're going to be my human parents,
You're going to have to act as human as possible.
Ok. [belches, farts]
What's next?
This.
No, wanda. No magic.
Humans can't do magic.
Oh? What about those guys with the white tigers in las vegas?
They had those sequined shirts and they could do magic.
[babbling]
Breathe, bird brain. You have lungs now.
You have to breathe!
You mean all the time?
[gasps]
Ugh! You guys, follow me.
We'll work on some other human stuff.
You have to use the door now.
You can't just walk through walls.
You're solid now.
You mean all the time?
This human stuff is fun.
We should have tried driving years ago.
Yeah. And look how many friends you're making.
[people angrily yelling]
Just worry about making friends with crocker.
Even though you haven't nailed down—
Being human yet—
There's no reason for him to suspect you're—
Fairy godparents!
After all the years of searching,
I've finally found proof of the existence of
Fairy godparents!
[cuckoo cuckoo]
[laughing]
Only magical creatures could have created that dinosaur.
Now it's my chance to wash the stench of "fairies don't exist" off me forever.
Whether it was harvard, new baltimore community college,
Or right here at dimsdale elementary,
I've always been the butt of many a cruel joke
Due to my so-Called crackpot theories
On the existence of fairy godparents.
Principal waxelplax, how many crackpots—
I mean crockers— does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I don't know.
Who cares?
Crocker's nuts.
[laughing]
Ahem.
[laughing]
That will all change soon.
But first i must prepare for the fairies.
To the crocker cave.
It may be just a phone booth inside the janitor's closet—ouch!
But after i capture timmy's fairies
And harness their magical powers for my own use—
Darn it—i'll get not only the proper equipment
But also the respect and—ugh!--
Admiration that have so long eluded me.
Mine will be a new world order
With i, mr. Crocker, as the supreme magical ruler.
Sorry about all the jokes about you—
Then, only then—
[cuckoo cuckoo]
Where is that coming from?
Ha! Timmy turner's fairy godparents will never be able to escape
The ever-Vigilant eye of my fairy finder.
Patent pending.
Ah ha! They're here!
Many of my fairy oriented traps are bound to expose them
For the fairies they truly are.
Fairies!--Ouch!
[cuckoo cuckoo]
You're next.
Where should i park?
Cosmo: hmm. Principal. Teachers.
Ooh! Fairies!
Park there! Park in the fairy space!
If they park in the fairy space
It will be all the proof the world will need.
Ok.
No! It's a trap.
[tires squeal]
Timmy: oh, that was close.
Oh! That was so close.
Hey! What are you two small boys doing here this early?
Uh... Learning?
We're trying to find timmy's show and tell project.
Ah, yes.
Timmy's project.
Well, timmy's parents and i are having a conference.
Why don't you bring the project to me,
And i'll give the project to him for you?
I don't know.
And in return, i'll give you a seat of power
In my new world order.
Done and done.
I think we've finally gotten this walking thing down, timmy.
[whispering] just play it cool.
At last, timmy's godpar—i mean, parents.
Mr. And mrs. Godturner.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
[martial arts yell]
How's that for a human hello?
You're kung social.
Uh, sorry, mr. Crocker.
Mom's, uh—
A fairy?
No, no. I was going to say enthusiastic about
Meeting an educator of your status.
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.
Oh, they're good.
I need only to get them to sit in my special
Electric fairy detector chair.
If they survive, they're fairies.
If they don't, i have tenure.
May i offer you a chair?
Certainly. May if offer you a fish?
Ooh, neat. Fish sticks. I'm starved.
I'll be right back after i chip off the dead skin.
I think he's suspicious, so be on your toes.
Wanda: ooh!
I'm doomed.
[munching]
On 3.
Ready? 3!
Charge!
Take cover.
You said take cover.
A.J.: it's getting away.
Oh, no. The forbidden zone.
You go in.
I'm not going in, you go in.
You go in.
I'm not going in, you go in...
Coffee?
Why yes it is.
[whispering] take the cups.
Can i offer you anything with that?
Cream, sugar, magic?
What was that last one?
Sugar.
You go in.
Look, let's both go in
And get out before any girls show up.
Good plan.
Sucker. Yow!
Cosmo: wow! This coffee stuff is great.
Coffee, coffee, coffee. Great.
Ooh, where do they get this stuff?
Colombia.
Oh, we should go there, it's the best,
We can go there now—whoa.
Timmy: what?
Some sort of pressure in my lower tummy.
Crocker: you have to go to the bathroom now,
Don't you, mrs. Turn-Parent?
Follow me.
Here you go.
Boys.
Girls.
Mystical creatures.
Well...
Timmy: uh, mom?
Principal: good morning, timmy.
Uh-Oh. It's the principal.
Of course. Principals first.
[crash]
New world order! New world order!
Uh, maybe i'm naive,
But i don't think she's doing it right.
Crocker!
Oh, perfect.
We got it! We got it!
We got the, uh, dinosaur, timmy.
Give it to me.
Dude, you got to give me the box.
Position of power, a seat on the throne, new world order!
Hmm.
Hey!
Before school hours, you ain't the boss of me.
Crocker: give me that.
Finally, after all the years of being mocked.
[whispers]
And all the years of "fairies don't exist."
With this, i, mr. Crocker, will prove once and for all
That these two creatures are timmy turner's—
Fairy godparents!
Mange: huh?
[chomps, growls]
[cuckoo cuckoo]
[whispering] got to watch out for crock pot now, you guys.
He's totally onto our secret.
A week of detention for all of you.
You for faking your show and tell,
You two for going into the girls bathroom,
And you for trapping me in a toilet paper cocoon
And promising two small boys they could enslave the earth.
That's not right.
You may have outsmarted me this time, turner.
But i'm onto you.
They can't keep me in detention forever!
Principal: crocker!
Maybe they can.
Coffee can, let's get coffee, who wants coffee?
Captioning made possible by u.S. Department of education and nickelodeon
Captioned by the national captioning institute —www.Ncicap.Org—