WHAT'S CRACKIN', Y'ALL.
LET ME BE THE FIRST TO OFFICIALLY WELCOME
Y'ALL MA-FUCKERS TO MY BRAND-NEW JOINT:
SCRILLA VILLA.
A-IGHT, Y'ALL, CHECK IT OUT.
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
ME AND T HAD TO GET THINGS SET UP, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING,
WITH THE BABIES ON THE WAY, WITH THE FAMILY,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, SO WE HAD TO START WORKING.
THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT THE AIRPORT
HAS SOME UNIQUE JOB OPPORTUNITIES, DAWG.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE HAD TO SEIZE THE MOTHERFUCKER.
- CARPE DIZUM, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
THAT'S WHY WE STARTED GANKIN' LUGGAGE.
THIS IS ALL THE SHIT WE GANKED FROM OVERSEAS,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
IT'S ALL FROM EUROPE. IT'S TIGHT.
MA-FUCKERS COME BACK WITH SOME CRAZY ASS SHIT, DAWG.
YOU WANT A BOX FOR YOUR BLING?
TEN MA-FUCKERS. IT'S TIGHT, CHEAP, AND DOPE.
I'M OUT.
AND THIS HERE ROOM'S WHAT I CALL LIQUORS OF THE WORLD, DAWG.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT THE MA-FUCKERS BRING BACK.
IT'S YOUR PASSPORT TO GETTING DRUNK.
GLUG, GLUG. [making guitar noises]
REAL SNAKE. WHAT?! I'M SAYING.
WE SO BUSY NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,
I EVEN HAD TO HIRE EMPLOYEES.
THAT'S LUCY RIGHT THERE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
LUCY, ONE OF MY EMPLOYEES.
THAT LITTLE MA-FUCKER AIN'T THOUGH.
I AIN'T PAYING FOR THAT MA-FUCKER.
- I HAD TO GO BACK TO WORK WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS PREGNANT.
I KNEW THAT RICKY WAS NEVER GOING TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER
AND I'M GOING TO BE TAKING CARE OF THIS BABY ON MY OWN,
SO THIS SEEMS LIKE AN HONEST GIG.
- LUCY, YOU READY TO DO THIS FAMILY PORTRAIT?
- YEAH, YEAH. I JUST GOTTA FIGURE OUT THIS, HOW IT WORKS.
- LIKE TO INTRODUCE MY FAMILY, DAWG.
I AIN'T SAYING THEY BOTH MINE.
I AIN'T SAYING THEY AIN'T.
WHO KNOWS ABOUT MY ANCESTRY, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
BUT ME AND T DECIDED WE TOO CLOSE
TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT DNA BULLISH,
SO WE JUST GOING TO BE CO-DADDIES
TO THESE TWO LITTLE PIMPS RIGHT HERE.
SMILE.
[camera clicks]
[sweet tinkly music]
HEY, RAY.
AH, FUCK'S SAKES.
WHAT'S UP, MAN?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
HEY, BUD, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- YOU GOTTA COME SEE IT. I GOT IT SET UP.
IS IT EVER DECENT.
OH, YEAH?
- CHECK IT OUT. YOU HEAD UP ON THE DECK.
ALL RIGHT.
LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THE DETAIL.
AWESOME, BUDDY.
EH? THIS IS AWESOME!
- SO WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU AND RICK AND JULIAN?
YOU GUYS COOL, OR WHAT?
YEAH, WE'RE COOL.
I'M JUST NOT HANGING OUT WITH THEM ANYMORE,
EVER SINCE RICKY ALMOST FROZE ME TO DEATH.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE A HOBBY NOW,
AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO FROM NOW ON.
MY HOBBY IS TRAINS AND... JUST LIKE YOUR HOBBY'S DRINKING.
IT'S DRINKING, BUDDY.
HEY, SHITTY! THERE'S SHITTY, BUD. SHITTY!
HEY, BOYS.
HEY, SHITTY.
HEY, SHITTY. HOW YOU DOING?
THERE'S A LOAD THERE, SO GET HER LOADED UP.
- HEY, SHITTY. BUBBS, HOW'S IT GOING, BUDDY?
OH, NOT BAD, RICKY.
AT LEAST I'M NOT FREEZING TO DEATH.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.
LOOK, I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
AND, DAD, CAN I TALK TO YOU TOO ABOUT SOME PRETTY SERIOUS STUFF.
OF COURSE, BUDDY, WHAT'S UP?
- LET'S GET AWAY FROM SHITTY. IT'S PRETTY PRIVATE.
WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS SHIT? WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
- NOTHING, RICKY. NOTHING YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN.
I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
BETTER NOT FUCK WITH ANY OF MY STUFF, SHITTY.
JUST LEAVE IT WHERE IT'S AT.
- IS THERE ANY WAY THAT LUCY COULD HAVE GOT PREGNANT
WITHOUT MY BIRD DOING STUFF TO HER?
- [laughs] YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT, RICK?
- NO, ACTUALLY, I'M PRETTY SERIOUS, DAD.
FUCK, UM.
BUT THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY.
I MEAN, WE HAVE DONE SOME STUFF,
BUT ME AND LUCY HAVEN'T BANGED IN SEVEN MONTHS,
AND SHE'S SIX MONTHS PREGNANT, SO DOES THAT WORK OUT?
BUBBLES, ANSWER THAT.
I GOTTA ROCK A PISS OFF, BUD.
- RAY! LOOK, RICKY,
JUST THINK OF THIS TRAIN ENGINE AS LUCY, RIGHT.
IF YOU PUT FUEL INTO IT, IT'LL GO.
BUT IF YOU DON'T, IT DOESN'T.
SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT, WHAT?
- RICKY, A TRAIN WILL ONLY GO IF THERE'S FUEL IN IT, RIGHT?
SO IF IT WASN'T YOUR NOZZLE THAT WAS PUTTING FUEL INTO LUCY,
SOMEONE ELSE'S NOZZLE MUST HAVE BEEN. YOU KNOW?
YOU SURE?
YEAH.
SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT?
MR. LAHEY GETS ONE NIGHT OFF AND YOU GUYS DON'T EVEN INCLUDE ME?
- WELL, MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T SO HIGH ALL THE TIME, RANDY.
[fabric ripping and Randy grunting]
OH, MOOSE BALLS!
[laughs]
MY PANTS!
[laughs]
IT'S NOT FUNNY, BARB.
- [banging] - RANDY.
[yelling and banging]
RANDY!
MY BEST PANTS.
RANDY!
- THIS IS FRIGGIN-- [banging]
- RANDY! - RANDY!
[gentle music]
HEY. I HEARD ABOUT LUCY, MAN.
I'M SORRY, MAN.
THAT SUCKS. YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
CHECK IT OUT, JULIAN.
THE RAKINS ARE GETTING A LOT BIGGER, HUH?
YEAH, HE'S CUTE.
SO ARE YOU COMING TO THE AIRPORT WITH ME OR NOT?
'CAUSE I GOTTA GET GOING.
- NO, I'M NOT WORKING FOR J-ROC, MAN.
IT'S AGAINST MY VICE PRINCIPLES.
MAN, I'M A DOPE DEALER.
I'M NOT GOING TO STEAL LUGGAGE.
I UNDERSTAND IF YOU WANT TO, I GUESS, BUT I'M NOT.
- I'VE GOT NO CHOICE, MAN. I HAVE TO.
TRAILER'S RE-MORTGAGED.
IF I DON'T COME UP WITH A PAYMENT, I'M GOING TO LOSE IT.
$245, WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING TO COME UP
WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY?
ANYWAY, I GOTTA GET GOING.
BUT LISTEN TO ME, YOU'RE HANDLING THIS WELL, OKAY?
SO KEEP IT UP.
DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY, ALL RIGHT?
I'M GOOD.
- ALL RIGHT. WE'LL GET DRUNK WHEN I GET BACK OR SOMETHING.
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
BIG BLACK CADILLAC.
J-ROC?
LUCY IS FUCKING BANGING J-ROC?
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
J-ROC BORNED MY BABY. FUCK!
WE GOOD TO GO?
YEAH.
FOCUS.
YEAH, THE FOCUS IS FINE.
- ALL RIGHT, JUST A WAITING GAME NOW.
OH, YEAH, LOOK AT THAT.
HEY, LOOK, CHECK IT OUT.
JAMIE, TYLER, AND THE REST OF THE GANG.
THINK THEY MIGHT BE, OH, I DON'T KNOW, STEALING LUGGAGE.
- YOU THINK JAMIE'S SMART ENOUGH TO MASTERMIND THAT?
NO, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
BUT JULIAN SURE AS HELL IS.
[car brakes squealing]
- THIS IS GOING TO GET INTERESTING.
- ALL LUGGAGE LOOK THE SAME NOWADAYS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
GIVE ME A KISS, MOTHERFUCKER.
A-IGHT, SUZANNE, LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
WAIT RIGHT THERE, LUCY!
SUZANNE, YOU GO TO THE CAR.
A-IGHT, SUZANNE, I'LL SEE YOU IN A MINUTE.
- LUCY, WAIT RIGHT THERE. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
- SUZANNE, GO TO THE CAR. SUZANNE.
WHAT THE FUCK?
YOU BANGED LUCY AND GAVE HER A BABY?
- I NEVER BANGED LUCY, DAWG, OR SUZANNE, WHAT I'M SAYING.
I TRIED TO HIT IT A COUPLE OF TIMES, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING,
BUT SHE WASN'T FEELING ME, DAWG.
T TRIED TOO, BUT WE DIDN'T.
OH, SO IT'S FUCKING T.
WHAT'S THE DEAL, MAN? YOU GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO?
COULDN'T HELP YOURSELF,
TAKE A LITTLE SOMETHING SOMETHING FROM LUCY?
- I DIDN'T DO NOTHING, MAN. RELAX YOURSELF, MAN.
YOU KNOW THE RULE, BROS BEFORE HOS, MAN.
COME ON, RICKY, YOU KNOW THAT SHIT, MAN.
WOULD YOU CALM DOWN?
I GOT A QUESTION.
WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU KISSING HER THEN?
- I GOT A QUESTION TOO. CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHIN'?
WOULD YOU CALM DOWN, MOTHERFUCKER?
- I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WERE KISSING HER.
- I WASN'T KISSING-- WE WAS ACTIN'.
I'M SAYING?
- ACTIN? - WE WERE JUST ACTIN'.
ME AND LUCY PRETENDING TO BE MARRIED
'CAUSE WE GANKING LUGGAGE,
AND WE DON'T WANT FUCKERS TO FIND OUT, DAWG.
- RICKY, WE'RE TRYING TO WORK HERE, ALL RIGHT.
GO HOME.
WE'LL DEAL WITH THIS LATER BACK AT THE PARK. NOT HERE.
- THAT'S RIGHT. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
- FINE. FINE THEN, GUYS.
LET THE LITTLE LUGGAGE BANDITS DO THEIR LITTLE THING HERE.
- THERE AIN'T NO LUGGAGE BANDITS HERE.
- I'M GOING TO FUCKING FIND OUT WHO BANGED LUCY
- AND GAVE HER A BABY. I AM. - IT WASN'T ME.
THERE AIN'T NO LUGGAGE BANDITS HERE.
I'M GOING TO FIND OUT.
I'LL TELL YOU THAT, J-ROC.
- GOD DAMN GEORGE AND TED ARE MAKING ME PULL THEIR SHIFT
AT THE LIQUOR STORE TODAY.
OH, JIM, YOU PROMISED.
WHAT CAN I DO, BARB?
- OH, WE ARE GOING TO GET SO FAR BEHIND AT LINE DANCING.
HOW ARE--OH. OH, NEVER MIND.
MAYBE WE CAN DO A LITTLE BIT
OF HORIZONTAL LINE DANCING AT HOME, EH?
[laughter]
[banging at door]
OH, HANG ON.
HA!
WHAT'S THAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
"BARB, EVER SINCE I SEEN YOU,
YOU ARE THE SUN THAT LIGHTS UP MY WORLD."
- SOUNDS LIKE RANDY WHEN HE'S HIGH.
YEAH, WHEN ISN'T HE HIGH?
- BARB, I THINK YOU SHOULD LIGHTEN UP ON RANDY.
AT LEAST HE'S TRYING.
GOTTA ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY SPECIAL FOR HIM TO SEND YOU THOSE.
- ALL RIGHT, BUDDY, THINK ABOUT WHAT I SAID.
COME OVER FOR SUPPER TONIGHT, BUD.
NEWFOUNDLAND STEAK AND MASHED POTATOES, BUDDY, WHADDYA THINK?
- OH, COUNT ME IN, RAY. I'D LOVE SOME.
IS THAT MY MODEL TRAIN MAGAZINE?
YEAH, FUCKING RIGHT, BUDDY.
CAN I HAVE IT?
- WAIT A SEC, HOLD IT. GOT A PROBLEM.
NEED A BOOST, BUDDY. CAR WON'T START.
- WELL, I CAN'T BOOST IT. GIVE ME MY MAGAZINE.
BUBBLES, WORK BEFORE PLAY.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I TAUGHT RICKY.
WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT THIS PROBLEM BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING.
I NEED A BOOST, GO GET ME YOUR LAWN MOWER OR SOMETHING.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT:
YOU'RE HOLDING MY MAGAZINE RANSOM TILL I GIVE YOU A BOOST.
I GOT NOTHING I CAN BOOST YOU WITH.
I'M NOT HOLDING THIS RANSOM.
I'M SAYING WE GOTTA DO WORK BEFORE WE DO PLEASURE.
THAT'S THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS IN LIFE, BUBBS.
- WELL, WHAT AM I GOING TO BOOST IT WITH?
ALL I GOT'S A GO CART.
- YOUR LAWN MOWER. GET YOUR LAWN MOWER.
- RAY, DO YOU KNOW HOW JUMPING THE THINGS STARTS?
YOU HOOK TWO OF THE PINCHERS TO YOUR BATTERY
AND TWO OF THE PINCHERS TO ANOTHER BATTERY,
AND IF I DON'T HAVE A BATTERY,
THEN THERE'S NOTHING TO HOOK IT TO.
NOW GIVE ME MY MAGAZINE!
- IF I HAD TO DO THIS MYSELF, I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN ASKED YOU.
I NEED YOU HELP. I'M ASKING FOR YOUR HELP.
THERE'S NOWHERE TO HOOK IT!
I'VE GOT YOUR MAGAZINE.
LUCY! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YA?
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
- RICKY? RICKY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- I WANT TO FIND OUT WHO BROUGHT THIS BABY BY LUCY
IS WHAT I'M FUCKING DOING,
UNTIL THESE IDIOTS GOT IN MY GOD DAMNED WAY.
RICKY!
LUCY, WHERE IS YOU AT?
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? FUCK.
YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN HERE AND PUSH PEOPLE OVER
AND EAT MY FUCKING BREAD, RICKY.
- WELL, LUCY HAD A BABY BORNED BY SOMEBODY.
I'D LIKE TO FIND OUT WHO THE FUCK IT IS. WHERE IS SHE?
ALL RIGHT, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.
YOU SHOW ME WHERE TO HOOK THIS.
- YOU SEE THE RED THING IN YOUR HAND THERE, BUBBLES?
- THAT GOES-- - GUYS, GUYS, GUYS.
[everyone talking at once]
WHERE'S RICKY AT?
- I DON'T KNOW WHERE RICKY IS. I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ALL DAY.
JUST PUT THAT ON THE RED THING. RED ON RED.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
YOU CAN'T BOOST A CAR WITH A GO CART, RAY.
COME ON, GET IN THERE, I'LL GIVE YOU A BOOST.
- NO, YOU CAN'T. - YOU COULD'VE DONE IT.
GIVE ME MY MAGAZINE.
- YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT, BUBBLES; YOU JUST DIDN'T TRY.
- OH, RAY, NUMBER ONE, YOU GOT A LOOSE TERMINAL HERE, BUD.
THAT'S NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING.
DECENT!
JULIAN, CHECK THIS OUT. LOOK.
10TH ANNUAL BANGOR INTERNATIONAL MODEL TRAIN CONVENTION.
LOOK WHO'S HOSTING, SEBASTIAN BACH, SKID ROW.
MY GOD, TRAINS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD.
THIS YEAR FEATURING THE SWAYZE EXPRESS.
- SWAYZE EXPRESS? PATRICK SWAYZE.
- JULIAN'S ALWAYS BEEN REALLY SENSITIVE
ABOUT THE WHOLE PATRICK SWAYZE THING
BECAUSE WHEN WE WERE KIDS IN SCHOOL,
THE OTHER KIDS USED TO TEASE HIM AND CALL HIM PATRICK SWAYZE,
BUT JULIAN WAS REALLY INTO "DIRTY DANCING."
I REMEMBER ONE TIME ME AND RICKY WERE COMING OVER TO GET JULIAN
TO GO RIDE BIKES
AND WE WALKED IN THE TRAILER AND JULIAN WAS DRESSED UP LIKE HIM,
PRETENDING HE WAS IN THE MOVIE "DIRTY DANCING."
RICKY TOLD EVERYONE IN SCHOOL,
AND THEN FROM THEN ON, THEY TEASED HIM, PATRICK SWAYZE.
- ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME HERE, BUBBS,
'CAUSE IT'S NOT FUNNY, MAN.
- NO, JULIAN, NOT THAT PATRICK SWAYZE,
NOT THE ACTOR PATRICK SWAYZE.
THAT'S A DIFFERENT ONE.
FUCK!
- FINALLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE DOING.
- JULIAN, WHERE THE FUCK IS LUCY?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
- YOU'RE A COLE-WORKER.
ACTUALLY, I QUIT, RICKY.
LAST I SAW, SHE WAS HEADING BACK HOME.
HERE SHE COMES RIGHT NOW.
- DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID, RICKY.
WHY THE FUCK NOT, JULIAN?
- RICKY, I NEED A BOOST. GIVE ME A BOOST, BUDDY.
- DAD, I DON'T GOT TIME FOR BOOSTS RIGHT NOW.
LUCY'S BANGING J-ROC.
I GOTTA GO DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW.
RICKY, I NEED A FUCKING BOOST!
AND I NEED IT NOW! ALL RIGHT?
BUBBLES, GET THIS FUCKING GO CART OUT OF MY WAY.
JULIAN, GET THAT BLACK PIECE OF SHIT OUT OF HERE
AND DOWN THE ROAD.
I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE IT AROUND MY CAR AGAIN.
RICKY, I WANT YOU TO BRING YOUR CAR FROM THERE TO HERE,
HOOK UP THOSE CABLES TO YOUR CAR, GET ME THE FUCK STARTED
SO I CAN GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT.
DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW THE FUCK THESE THINGS GO ON?
YES, I KNOW HOW THEY WORK!
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THEY WORK.
THAT'S WHAT STARTED THIS PROBLEM, BUBBLES.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW THEY WORK. YOU SAID YOU DID.
I DO, RAY!
BUT YOU DON'T!
YOU COULDN'T EVEN HOOK THEM UP TO YOUR GO CART, BUBBLES.
I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED.
- I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.
- RED ON POSITIVE, BLACK ON NEGATIVE.
- I JUST WANT TO GET HOME, COOK SUPPER FOR ME AND BUBBLES,
YOU'RE STILL COMING OVER FOR SUPPER, AREN'T YA?
YES! I'M COMING FOR SUPPER.
- ALL RIGHT, MASHED POTATOES AND NEWFOUNDLAND STEAK.
THE NAVY IS REALLY GOOD.
I ACTUALLY CAN'T SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR FOR ONCE.
- YEAH, THEY LOOK REALLY GOOD, RANDY.
THEY'RE A BIG IMPROVEMENT.
- THEY'RE SO COMFORTABLE. MY OTHER ONES WERE SO TIGHT.
- YEAH, THEY'RE ONLY ONE SIZE BIGGER TOO.
- RANDY! - SORRY, SARAH.
- LUCY, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE AND TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.
NICE PANTS, RANDY. YOU STILL LOOK FUCKING STUPID.
LUCY, I'M SERIOUS. GET OUT HERE AND TALK TO ME.
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALM DOWN, RICKY.
FUCK OFF, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
WHO IS IT, LUCE?
THAT STUPID FUCKING IDIOT, DUMBI-COP GEORGE GREEN?
'CAUSE IT CAN'T BE ME, LUCY. I CHECKED.
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, RICKY. DON'T BE STUPID.
- YOU LOOK ME RIGHT IN THE EYES, RIGHT NOW.
TELL ME I'M THE FATHER OF THE YET TO BE UNBORN BABY.
- OKAY, YOU'RE GETTING WAY--
- SEE, YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T DO IT.
- WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW.
YOU HAVE TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
ALL RIGHT? I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
LUCY! LUCY!
WHAT A SHAME.
ANOTHER BABY'S GOING TO BE BORN IN JAIL.
- YOU TAGGED HER AT THE CHEESEBURGER PICNIC,
DIDN'T YOU, GEORGE?
IT WAS ONE TIME, TED.
I WAS DRUNK AND HIGH. DOESN'T COUNT.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
HOW YOU DOING?
YOU THINK YOU'RE SOME KIND OF FUCKING TOUGH,
SMOKING THAT BIG MALL DOPE, EH?
IT'S GOOD DOPE.
- NICE NEW PANTS. GOOD PRICE? WHO'S GOT THE BEST DOPE IN TOWN?
YOU DO, RICKY.
YOU GET TO THE BEST FRIGGING DOPE, BUT YOU CHARGE TOO MUCH.
- OH, RICKY, LEAVE HIM FUCKING--
- I'M GOING TO SPIT ON YOU RIGHT NOW, RANDY.
- DON'T YOU DARE SPIT ON MY PANTS, RICKY.
- FUCKING STUPID THOSE PANTS ARE.
[spitting]
HOW DARE YOU!
[spitting]
YOU JUST FUCKING SPIT ON ME!
- GOOD! GOOD, YEAH.
- I'M GOING TO WIPE IT ALL OVER YOUR BODY.
- WELL, WE GOT ALL THE EVIDENCE WE NEED.
WE ALSO HAVE FOUR HOURS OF PAPERWORK NOW,
SO I DON'T THINK WE'RE DOING CHIPPENDALES TONIGHT.
I'M NOT GOING TO MISS THAT.
- ACTUALLY, WE HAVE SOMEONE THAT CAN DO ALL THAT.
HE'S WORKING AT THE LC RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT.
RICKY, LEAVE RANDY ALONE.
OW!
- LUCY, I WILL MAKE YOU HAVE A UTERNITY TEST IF I HAVE TO.
JUST TELL ME WHO IT WAS, PLEASE.
NO, I CAN'T TELL YOU.
COME ON.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, BUD?
RANDY, I'M SORRY, MAN.
I'M JUST REALLY STRESSED OUT.
YOU ALL RIGHT?
YEAH, I'M OKAY, RICKY.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
LUCY, WILL YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME?
- FINE, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.
DO YOU REMEMBER THE SECOND WEEKEND THAT YOU
AND YOUR FATHER SPENT IN THE DRUNK TANK?
[gentle music]
WELL, I HAD A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS.
COME ON, IT JUST HAPPENED ONE TIME, I SWEAR.
OKAY. I'M REALLY SORRY.
- LUCY, WHO DID YOU BANG THE WEEKEND ME AND MY DAD
WENT TO THE DRUNK TANK?
THE SECOND TIME.
TELL ME WHO IT WAS.
OKAY, IT WAS RANDY.
THERE, I SAID IT.
RANDY?
I BANGED RANDY.
IT'S TRUE.
WE MADE LOVE A COUPLE OF TIMES THAT SATURDAY NIGHT.
YOU'RE THE FATHER OF MY BABY?
OH, MY FUCK!
NO THANKS, DON'T DRINK.
JIM? I HARDLY RECOGNIZE YOU.
YOU'RE SOBER.
VERY FUNNY, SAM.
CAN I SEE SOME I.D. PLEASE?
I.D., WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M FUCKING 49. GET THE FUCK OUT OF--
- NEWSFLASH SHIT-GLASSES. YOU'RE GOING BACK TO YOUR CAVE.
- OH, I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.
IT'S 'CAUSE I USED TO DATE BARB, ISN'T IT?
I DON'T DESERVE THIS, MAN. IT'S NOT FAIR.
LIFE'S NOT FAIR, SAM.
THIS IS REAL TIME, NOT CAVE TIME.
HANG ON, HANG ON.
I'VE GOT TO GIVE THE KIDS BACK THEIR MONEY.
MOVE IT, SAM.
YOU GOT A SHOWER IN THIS RIG?
- COURSE I DO. IT'S JUST NOT WORKING.
SURPRISE, SURPRISE.
WHY DON'T YOU SCUFFLE OFF TO YOUR ANTEDILUVIAN WORLD,
FIND SOME WATER AND HOSE YOURSELF DOWN?
DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T NOTICED
THOSE SLY CAVE MAN REFERENCES, LAHEY.
- HEY, JIM, HOW'S THE LIQUOR STORE
TREATING YOU THESE DAYS, BUD?
GOOD, GEORGE, GOOD.
HAD ANY RELAPSES?
HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
BIRDS OF A SHIT FEATHER, TED.
WELL, SPEAKING OF SHIT, JIM,
WE NEED YOU TO FILE THE PAPERWORK ON THIS WARRANT.
FOR YOUR FRIENDS DOWN AT THE TRAILER PARK.
- GEORGE, I'M PULLING A DOUBLE SHIFT NOW.
IF I HAVE TO DO THIS, I'LL BE UP TILL 4:00 A.M.
WELL, WE'RE GOING TO BE UP
TILL 4:00 IN THE MORNING TOO, JIM.
- GETTING DRUNK, DOING SECURITY FOR THE CHIPPENDALES.
GET IT DONE.
FUCK!
- SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT, RANDY?
OR DO YOU NEED TO BE HIGH FIRST?
- BARB, THERE'S NO REAL EASY WAY OF SAYING THIS.
I FRIGGED UP.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- BASICALLY I BANGED LUCY AND KNOCKED HER UP.
NO BIG DEAL.
OH, MY GOD.
THAT WAS YOU?
OH, GREASY.
DO YOU KNOW THE WHOLE PARK IS TALKING ABOUT THAT?
YOU CHEATED ON ME, RANDY?
YOU CHEATED ON US? YOU CHEATED ON US.
- WELL, MR. LAHEY. I WANT TO MAKE THIS WORK.
IF WE STAY TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP LUCY RAISE OUR BABY.
OUR BABY?
NO, I DON'T THINK SO, RANDY.
THAT'D BE YOUR BABY.
OH, CINNAMON COCKS.
- RANDY, IT PAINS ME TO SAY THIS,
BUT I THINK IT'D BE BETTER IF YOU MOVED ON ALONE.
- AND NOW THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT,
I WOULD LIKE YOU OUT OF THIS TRAILER NOW.
- YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO GO LIVE IN THE SUPERVISOR TRAILER
WITH RAY, DO YOU?
- NO, I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO GO LIVE THERE, RANDY,
BECAUSE YOU'RE FIRED.
- WHAT? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
- WELL, YOU COULD GO BACK TO MOWING LAWNS.
I MEAN, THEY DON'T MIND YOU DOING THAT WHEN YOU'RE STONED.
BARB.
JIM?
- RANDY. - MR. LAHEY.
- RANDY. - BUT, MR. LAHEY.
- RANDY. - JIM!
SO THAT'S $176.92.
NOW WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GIVE IT TO YOU,
OR SHOULD I GIVE IT DIRECT TO YOUR DRUG DEALER?
BARB.
- LOOK, YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD TIME FRIG DANCING.
AND, BARB, YOUR SCALLOPED POTATOES ARE FUCKED.
THEY'RE FANTASTIC, BARB.
- I'M NOT KNOCKING SHITTY, BUDDY.
BUT HE'S JUST A MIDDLE MAN.
YOU SHOULD BE MAKING TWICE AS MUCH MONEY.
- WELL, I KNOW, RAY, BUT SHITTY DRIVES A HARD BARGAIN.
HEY, BOYS.
WHOO.
HEY, BOYS.
I PLAN ON HAVING A FEW DRINKS TONIGHT.
YOU GUYS WANT TO GET DRUNK WITH ME?
- BUBBS. - RICKY.
HEY, BUDDY.
FUCK, LUCY'S BABY IS NOT GOING TO BE MINE,
'CAUSE SHE'S BEING BORNED BY RANDY, DAD.
I KNOW.
- LOVE YOU, BUDDY. DRINKS TONIGHT?
OKAY, BUDDY.
- FUCK, I ALMOST FORGOT. I ALMOST FORGOT.
I SOLD SOME DOPE DOWN AT THE BOWLING ALLEY, MAN.
DON'T TELL ANYBODY, ALL RIGHT?
I GOT THAT FOR YOUR MORTGAGE PAYMENT.
RICKY, I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
OH, HE'S DOWN.
HE'S DOWN.
DAD, I LOVE YOU, BUDDY.
OH, I'M GETTING DRUNK TONIGHT, I TELL YA.
[sweet gentle music]