- I'M WORKING ON A PLAN RIGHT NOW.
IT'S GONNA BE PERFECT.
NOBODY'S GONNA GET CAUGHT. IT'S GONNA BE SMOOTH.
- MY GOD, BUBBLES, THE SIZE OF THIS THING.
- OH, I KNOW, RICKY. LOOK AT IT.
YOU KNOW, THOUGH, I'VE GONE OVER IT TOP TO BOTTOM,
LIKE, A BUNCH OF TIMES,
AND I CAN'T FIND ANY ILLEGAL PARTS ON THIS THING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK IS GOING ON?
SEBASTIAN BACH IS MR. JEALOUSY PANTS.
HE'S JEALOUS OF PATRICK SWAYZE.
HE MADE ALL THAT SHIT UP.
- WELL, HE WAS SHOOTING OFF PRETTY HARD
AT THAT TRAIN CONVENTION, BUBBLES.
- HOW IS AXEL DOING? RIGHT ON.
ROB THOMAS?
WELL, 11 BUCKS, YOU CAN'T GO WRONG, MAN.
LOOK AT THE SPEED IT'S GOT.
FUCKING COOL!
- THE PERSONAL TRAIN OF PATRICK SWAYZE.
DE-EE-ECENT!
- CAN'T TALK TO YOU ON THE PHONE ABOUT IT, OKAY?
- I DON'T CONDONE CRIME. YOU KNOW THAT.
BUT THANK YOU FOR STEALING THIS TRAIN FOR ME.
- BUBBLES, YOU STOLE THE TRAIN MAN.
WE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
- RICKY, YOU CANNOT TELL ANYBODY THAT WE HAVE THAT TRAIN.
PROMISE ME.
SURE, MAN, YEAH.
I PROMISE. WHATEVER.
GOT A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, THOUGH.
I'M GONNA SIT OVER THERE. YOU STAY HERE.
GET THE FUCKING BONG.
PUT IT IN ONE OF THE CARS RIGHT HERE,
AND WE CAN SHIP BONG TOKES BACK AND FORTH TO EACH OTHER.
DECENT.
[laughs]
I THINK I JUST FIGURED IT OUT.
I CAN GET THE DOPE TO YOU.
YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
I'M TELLING YOU, BUBBLES,
SMOKING DOPE AND PLAYING WITH MODEL TRAINS
IS A GOOD FUCKING TIME, MAN.
[bright music]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANYWAY?
NOTHING, DAD.
- WELL, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DYE AND THE BEARD
AND THE WEIGHTS, AND YOU LOOK LIKE--
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO LOOK LIKE?
- NOTHING, DAD. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
LISTEN, BOY,
WHILE YOU'RE UNDER MY ROOF, IT'S MY RULES.
AND BURGERS IS ALL ABOUT THEM RULES.
BURGERS WERE GOOD TO ME. THEY'RE GOOD TO YOU.
- DAD, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- 11 BUCKS A GRAM, BOYS; THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
THAT'S WHAT MY DOPE'S WORTH. I'M GLAD WE WAITED.
SO WHEN'S WHATS-HIS-FUCKY, SEBASTIAN, COMING TO PICK IT UP?
- OH, HE'S NOT COMING HERE, RICK.
- WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE'S NOT COMING HERE?
- WE'RE GOING TO SMUGGLE IT TO HIM, INTO MAINE.
THINK ABOUT IT.
AT 11 BUCKS A GRAM,
THAT'S ALMOST 5,000 BUCKS A POUND.
WE GOT 100 POUNDS, DO THE MATH, BUDDY.
'CAUSE WE'RE SET UP, MAN.
$50,000 DOLLARS.
NO RICKY, THAT'S $500,000.
- SO HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO GET IT THERE?
WITH THIS.
WE'RE GOING TO RUN A TRACK THROUGH THE WOODS,
ACROSS THE BORDER.
AND LOAD THE WEED ONTO THE FREIGHT CARS.
IT'S GOING TO BE EASY.
OH, I GET IT, YEAH.
USING THE TRAIN.
JULIAN.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TRACK WE'D HAVE TO LAY
TO GET A TRAIN LIKE THIS INTO THE U.S. UNDETECTED?
- OH, YEAH, I KNOW. IT'D BE A LOT.
PROBABLY A WORLD RECORD, BUBBS.
BUT YOU'D BE IN CHARGE OF IT, MAN.
WORLD RECORD.
THAT HADN'T CROSSED MY MIND, JULIAN.
BOYS, WHO ARE WE KIDDING?
I MEAN, NO MAN, NO TRAIN
HAS EVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
THE SWAYZE EXPRESS IS NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH
TO PULL ALL THAT DOPE.
- RICKY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO TRICK ME.
WE ARE GOING TO RUN THIS TRAIN INTO THE U.S.,
AND MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT;
THAT WORLD RECORD WILL BE MINE.
BEER, BUBBLES?
OH, YOU READ MY MIND, RICKY.
[muffler rattling]
CHECK IT OUT, BOYS.
MY NEW OFFICE.
IT'S A REAL GOOD CHANCE I'M GOING TO MAKE STAFF SERGEANT.
IT'S LOOKING REAL GOOD.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU GUYS?
- WE NEED DETAILED TOPOGRAPHICAL MAPS
OF THE NEW BRUNSWICK BORDER.
WE NEED TO KNOW HOW MANY FOREST RANGERS ARE OUT THERE,
WHERE THEY'RE AT, WHAT THEY DRIVE,
ANY KIND OF INFORMATION YOU CAN GET US.
STEP INTO THE OFFICE BOYS.
LOOK, IF I'M GOING TO BE PROMOTED HERE,
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHILL OUT.
I'VE BEEN REAL GOOD TO YOU GUYS,
BUT WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PUT AN END TO THIS SHIT.
WE'RE ALL FRIENDS.
YOU HELPED MY DAD GET HIS RIG LICENSE BACK,
AND WE TOOK OUT GEORGE AND TED FOR YOU.
JIM.
I KNOW SHIT ABOUT YOU. YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME.
THAT MAKES US SHIT BROTHERS.
COME ON, WE'RE SHIT BROTHERS.
- DON'T FORGET, YOU SIGNED A PEACE TREATY WITH US,
MR. LAHEY.
WHAT'S GOING DOWN HERE?
- LISTEN, THE LESS YOU KNOW, THE BETTER, OKAY?
THAT'S ALL WE CAN TELL YOU.
- YEAH, LAHEY, JUST GET US OUR FUCKING TOPA--TOPER--
THE GRACK-- FUCKING LAND PAPERS, JIM.
JUST GET US THE FUCKING LAND PAPERS A.S.A.T.
PUT THEM IN THE MAILBOX.
DON'T BE A FUCKHEAD.
THANKS, JIM.
- ALL WE NEED NOW IS SOME JAIL COVER
TO TAKE A LITTLE SCOUT TO MAINE FOR US TODAY.
I KNOW JUST WHERE TO FIND THESE DICKS.
- FUCK, IS THAT WHO I FUCKING THINK IT IS?
- OH, MY GOD, THAT'S JACOB COLLINS.
JULIAN, HE'S ROCKING YOUR LOOK HARD.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HE WEARING?
- HE'S GOT A BACK T-SHIRT, A BLACK GOATEE,
AND HE'S ROCKING A GOOFY LITTLE DRINK.
- DID HE DYE HIS FUCKING HAIR? HE DID.
- HE LOOKS LIKE YOU, JULIAN, WITHOUT ANY MUSCLES.
LOOK AT THE DRINK, RICKY.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE OLD MUSTARD GLASSES,
WITH THE DIAMOND AND CLUBS ON IT.
- BUBBS, LAY OFF JACOB, ALL RIGHT?
[speaking indistinctly]
- HOLY FUCK, LOOK WHO HE'S TALKING TO.
ISN'T THAT MEAT STORE DICKS?
- FUCK, REMEMBER HOW STUPID THOSE GUYS WERE?
THEY'D BE PERFECT JAIL COVER.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
WE'RE NOT GOING TO FIND ANY PEOPLE DUMBER THAN THOSE GUYS.
THEY ARE DUMB.
MY GOODNESS.
LET'S GET THEM.
A MUSTARD GLASS.
- HEY, GUYS. HEY, JULIAN.
HEY, JACOB.
- CHANGED THE LOOK A LITTLE BIT, HAVE YOU, JACOB?
LOWER YOUR FUCKING DRINK IN FRONT OF JULIAN.
RESPECT.
- CHAINING TOO JACOB? WHAT ARE YOU ROCKING THERE?
IS THAT A MUSTARD GLASS?
- YEAH. - THAT'S HARD CORE.
- JACOB, YOU WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US TODAY.
OH, YEAH, TOTALLY.
- JULIAN, GET THE OTHER TWO DUMMIES TOO.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED THEM, ALL RIGHT?
- YOU AND YOUR TWO FRIENDS. - YEAH, OKAY. YEAH.
COME HERE FOR A SECOND.
ARE YOU IN CHARGE OF THOSE GUYS?
- UM, YEAH, YEAH. THOSE ARE MY BOYS.
- ALL RIGHT, THEN TAKE CHARGE, GET THEM IN THE FUCKING CAR NOW.
OKAY.
HEY, BOYS, LET'S GET IN THE CAR.
LET'S FUCKING GO.
- ARE YOU FUCKING TALKING TO ME, JACOB?
- NO, HE'S TALKING TO THE GUYS, RICKY.
OH.
WELL, YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DO IT?
HEY, COCK-A-DOODLE FUCKING KETCHUP CHIPS.
YO-YO DICK, GET IN THE FUCKING CAR.
LET'S GO, IN THE FUCKING CAR NOW,
IN THE TRUNK.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU SIT IN THE BACKSEAT.
LET'S GO.
YOU GUYS SHUT THE FUCK UP.
LET THE BIG BOYS TALK.
YOU SAY ANYTHING, YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD. UNDERSTAND?
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO US?
- WE'RE MAKING YOU PART OF OUR CREW,
OUR TEAM OF FRIENDS.
THIS IS THE BIG TIME NOW,
WHICH MEANS YOU GUYS CAN HANG OUT WITH US.
- BUT RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE FUCKING NOTHING.
OUT OF THE CAR, ON THE GRASS.
MOVE IT, GUYS.
- WE'RE NOT FRIENDS YET. YOU'RE NOTHING.
AND YOU'RE NOTHING UNTIL WE SAY YOU AREN'T NOTHING.
AND UNTIL THEN, I'M GOING TO BE REALLY,
REALLY FUCKING HARD ON YOU GUYS,
ESPECIALLY YOU WITH YOUR FUCKING ROOSTER BALD--HEADED LITTLE--
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS.
RICKY!
- DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE FUCKING LAHEY TALKS TO RANDY JULIAN.
I'M SERIOUS.
- RICKY, LOOK, I KNOW THESE GUYS ARE FUCKED,
BUT MAYBE YOU SHOULD LIGHTEN UP ON THEM.
REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO CORY AND TREVOR.
- WHAT HAPPENED TO CORY AND TREVOR?
OH, NOTHING.
- YOU GUYS WILL NEVER, EVER BE A CORY AND TREVOR,
ALL RIGHT?
CORY AND TREVOR MEANT THE WORLD TO ME.
- NOW, I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE THE MONTE CARLO, SO HERE.
TAKE IT FOR THE WEEKEND AND HAVE A GOOD TIME, ALL RIGHT?
ALL EXPENSES PAID.
JUST TOP UP THE GAS BEFORE YOU GIVE IT BACK TO ME.
I'VE GOT AN EXAM NEXT WEEK.
- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING LEARNED THAT'S SO IMPORTANT?
HOTEL/MOTEL MANAGEMENT.
MOTEL/MOTEL DUMBAGEMENT.
GIVE ME THE FUCKING DRINK.
RICK.
- YOU'RE DRINKING FUCKING POP? POP?
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN STUDY ALONG THE WAY, OKAY?
LET'S LOAD UP THE CAR, GUYS.
OKAY, HERE'S THE MAP. WE GOT LOTS OF FOOD FOR YOU.
- THERE'S TWO BAGS OF SHREDDIES AND THREE BAGS OF LICORICE BOYS.
THAT SHOULD DO YA JUST FINE.
- AND THIS IS WHERE I WANT YOU TO DRIVE TO
TO DO A LITTLE RECON FOR ME, OKAY--I MEAN US,
YOUR FRIENDS, ALL RIGHT?
WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?
GET THE FUCK OVER TO BUBBLES' SHED FOR MORE INSTRUCTIONS.
BOYS, GET THE FUCK GOING.
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, LISTEN UP.
I'M THE ENGINEER HERE.
AND I DON'T LIKE TO REPEAT MYSELF.
TAKE THIS CAMERA.
YOU'RE GOING TO RECORD EVERY ROAD,
EVERY BRIDGE, EVERY FRIGGIN' SLOPE OF THE LAND.
ALL THE DIRECTIONS ARE IN HERE.
PAY PARTICULAR ATTENTION TO THE SECTION
ON LEVELING THE TRACK.
IF THE TRACK'S NOT ON LEVEL GROUND,
YOU GUYS FUCKED UP.
WHAT TRACK?
THE FUCKING TRAIN TRACK.
THAT'S WHAT THIS TEST IS ALL ABOUT.
TO SEE IF YOU GUYS ARE REALLY OUR FRIENDS OR NOT.
THIS IS THE TRACK HERE, JACOB.
IT SNAPS TOGETHER LIKE THAT.
MAKE SURE THE COPPER CONNECTORS ARE TOUCHING.
OKAY, THAT'S EASY.
- READY TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A MONTE CARLO?
OKAY, PUT IT IN PARK.
NICE JOB, MAN.
GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR.
YOU GUYS SOMEHOW MANAGE TO PULL THIS OFF,
WE'RE GOING TO BE FRIENDS, I PROMISE, ALL RIGHT?
WE EVEN COME TO VOCATIONAL SCHOOL,
HAVE LUNCH WITH YOU GUYS SOMETIMES
AND TAKE MY CAR TO THE FINAL EXAM
FOR ALL I GIVE A FUCK.
WE'RE GOING TO BE FRIENDS, GUYS, IF YOU PULL THIS OFF.
- GENTLEMEN, THERE'S WHERE YOU PICK UP
THE REMAINDER OF THE TRACK.
IT'S OFF EXIT 14.
THERE'LL BE A GENTLEMAN NAMED SHITTY BILL
AWAITING YOUR ARRIVAL.
JACOB, COME HERE.
IF THE COPS PULL YOU OVER, WE DON'T KNOW YOU.
WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON.
WE'LL HAVE TO SAY YOU STOLE THE CAR.
IF IT COMES DOWN TO THAT, BLAME IT ON YOUR DUMMIES.
- YEAH, TOTALLY. - FRIENDS?
FOREVER.
SEE THIS?
[gunshots]
GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!
PROTECT JULIAN'S CAR AT ALL COSTS.
PROTECT THE TRAIN STUFF.
THEN PROTECT YOURSELVES,
ONCE ALL THE OTHER STUFF IS PROTECTED.
PROTECT FROM WHAT?
YOU'RE GOING TO A REMOTE AREA.
THERE MIGHT BE BEARS. MIGHT.
OR, COULD BE SOME WEIRD SHIT WE DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.
SAFETY'S OFF.
YOU'VE GOT THREE DAYS.
JUST DON'T FORGET,
THAT CAR IS MY LIFE, OKAY?
THREE DAYS, BOYS.
WE CAN DO THIS.
[coughing]
HEY, PHIL, ARE THOSE CHEESEBURGERS DONE YET?
RANDY, MY SON IS MISSING,
AND ALL YOU CAN WORRY ABOUT IS DRUGS AND FUCKING CHEESEBURGERS?
COME ON, LET'S GET THE REST OF THESE POSTERS OUT AND UP.
- JEEZ, PHIL, YOU GOTTA STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS.
IT'S GOING TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY.
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, LIKE THE RESTAURANT.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE DIRTY BURGER.
JACOB'S GOING TO BE OKAY.
- LET'S GET THESE FUCKING POSTERS OUT,
IF YOU'RE NOT TOO FUCKING HIGH!
PHIL, YOU BETTER RELAX!
[engine rumbling]
SHIT, WHO'S THIS GUY IN THE SEXY JEANS?
- PLEASE, RANDY. THIS IS MY SON THOMAS.
- HI, DAD. - HEY, TOMMY BOY.
- THIS IS YOUR SON? WOW.
- [laughing] TOMMY!
OH, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
OH, HO, HO, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- DAD, LET ME GO. HEY. HI, HOW'S IT GOING?
OKAY, SO WHAT'S GOING ON WITH JACOB.
I SAW THE POSTERS UP.
WHAT ARE THE POLICE DOING ABOUT IT?
WE HAVE TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
- I CALLED A COP BY THE NAME OF JIM LAHEY,
AND HE HASN'T GOTTEN BACK TO ME YET.
THEY HAVEN'T CALLED BACK?
THEY HAVEN'T GOTTEN BACK TO YOU? THE POLICE HAVEN'T GOTTEN BACK?
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
I DON'T KNOW, SON, BUT GOD DAMN.
MY SON IS MISSING.
- HELP ME OUT HERE? WHAT THE FUCK?
IS GOING ON HERE!
- CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW.
I WANT YOU TO COOL OFF.
COOL OFF.
OKAY. TALK TO ME.
- SON, I JUST THOUGHT HE COULD HAVE BEEN INTO DRUGS,
SO I DIDN'T PUSH IT WITH THE POLICE.
- WHO, JACOB? YOU THINK JACOB IS INTO DRUGS?
AFTER ALL YOU TAUGHT US, DAD?
JACOB ISN'T MESSING AROUND WITH DOPE OR DOPE DEALERS.
I GUARANTEE YOU, MAN,
JACOB IS AS HIGH AS FUCK RIGHT NOW,
HIM AND THOSE TWO MUTANTS
AND THEY'RE FUCKING UP OUR CHANCE TO SELL THE DOPE.
- JUST KEEP RIPPING THE POSTERS DOWN
AND SHUT UP, PLEASE, RICKY.
COME ON.
DID YOU GUYS EVER THINK MAYBE
THAT JACOB AND THOSE TWO TWIGGY ALIEN BASTARDS
MIGHT HAVE GOT EATEN BY BEARS?
I MEAN, THIS COULD BE
CORY AND TREVOR ALL OVER AGAIN, BOYS.
SOMEBODY'S GOING TO GO INSANE OFF THIS; YOU WATCH.
LOOK AT YOU FUCKING GO.
HIM AND THOSE TWO FUCKING WEIRD-LOOKING DICKS
ARE PROBABLY JUST PARTYING SOMEWHERE.
THEY STOLE YOUR CAR MAN.
THEY FUCKED US.
- WE JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT IF THERE'S ANY POLICE REPORTS
OR MISSING PERSONS REPORTS.
WE'VE GOT TO TALK TO LAHEY.
- WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? WHAT ARE YOU--
- WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, AND WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?
NICE CLOTHES.
- THIS IS MY SON, THOMAS COLLINS,
JACOB'S BROTHER.
- AND TIMMY OR TOMMY OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HIS SON'S NAME IS
SHOWS UP HERE, AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ADOPTED.
HE DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HIM,
BUT HE'S CLEARLY NOT.
THEY'RE BOTH OUT OF THEIR FUCKING GODDAMN MINDS.
YOU GUYS KNOW JACOB?
DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS RIGHT NOW?
- IT WASN'T US. - IT WASN'T YOU GUYS.
- THOSE GUYS KNOW WHERE JACOB IS.
THEY'RE LYING.
WHAT ARE YOU NOT TELLING US?
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS, YOU DIRTY PRICK?
- HEY, HEY, HEY. FUCK OFF, PHIL.
- PHIL COLLINS IS FUCKING OUT OF HIS MIND THESE DAYS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.
- MY SONS AND THE DIRTY BURGER IS ALL I GOT.
FUCK THEM.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, FOUR-EYES?
OH, FUCK.
- FUCKING--DID YOU JUST CALL ME FOUR-EYES?
YOU BIG MUSTARD TIGER.
ALL I DID WAS CALL HIM A MUSTARD TIGER.
I MEAN, HE HAD A BIG TIGER,
AND HE WAS ALL COVERED IN MUSTARD,
AND I THOUGHT IT WAS, YOU KNOW, A PRETTY CUTE LITTLE NAME
AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN, HE SNAPS
AND STARTS SMASHING RICKY'S CAR UP WITH A LADDER.
[shouting]
- MY FUCKING CAR. I'M SERIOUS.
WILL SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME HERE?
LOOK AT YOU IN YOUR FUCKING LITTLE TIGER SHIRT
ALL COVERED IN MUSTARD.
YOU BIG FUCKING WEIRD-LOOKING WALRUS FUCK.
PUT THE FUCKING LADDER DOWN.
THE FUCKING CAR!
- CALM DOWN! PUT THE LADDER DOWN, PHIL.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
- SORRY I DIDN'T TELL YOU THIS, BUT JACOB AND HIS BUDDIES
WENT STUDYING SOMEWHERE
BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING ON ABOUT THE GODDAMN
DIRTY BURGER SO MUCH, OKAY?
YOU WERE DISTRACTING HIM.
HE BORROWED MY CAR. HE TOLD ME NOT TO TELL YOU.
NOT TELL THE OLD MAN?
- PROBABLY JUST SICK OF YOU TALKING
ABOUT FUCKING CHEESEBURGERS; WE ALL ARE.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT THERE, SWEATY BOBANY.
IF YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING,
IF YOU'VE DONE SOMETHING TO JACOB,
I'LL FIND OUT, AND YOU'LL REGRET THE DAY
YOU EVER MESSED WITH PHILADELPHIA COLLINS AND SONS.
GOT ME?
FUCK OFF.
PHILADELPHIA?
YEAH, PHILADELPHIA COLLINS.
- HE LOOKS LIKE HE ATE PHILADELPHIA.
LET ME DEAL WITH THIS, OKAY?
HE'S STUDYING. EVERYTHING'S COOL, PHIL.
WE JUST GOT TO WALK AWAY.
WE GOT TO WALK AWAY. LET'S GO.
YEAH, WALK AWAY.
- YOU'RE PAYING FOR THE FUCKING DAMAGE TO THAT CAR TOO.
- YOU SHOULD PAY ME FOR DOING A JOB FOR YOU.
WHY DON'T YOU FIND JACOB?
- GET GOING, LORD OF THE ONION RINGS.
NICE SOCKS, RANDY.
- BIG FUCKING SURPRISE YOU'RE ALL HANGING OUT TOGETHER.
YOU'RE ALL FUCKED IN THE HEAD.
FUCKING JESUS; LOOK AT THE SCRATCHES ON MY FUCKING CAR.
FUCKING!
- WE LIKE TO REMIND ONE AND ALL, FIVE-CENT WINGS TONIGHT.
ALL NIGHT TONIGHT, YOU CAN'T GO WRONG.
[laughter]
- OH, EXCELLENT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HEY, B.
TWO MORE.
- AND ONE MORE. ONE'S GOOD.
- GET ME SOME WATER. - THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOD.
JIM, IT'S SAM.
I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS SINGING HERE.
- GREASY BASTARD. - OH, MY GOD.
- WE CAN GO SOMEWHERE ELSE IF YOU LIKE.
- NO, ACTUALLY, I LIKE THIS SONG.
OH, GOD, IS HE COMING OVER? IS HE?
NO.
JUST IGNORE HIM. HE'LL GO AWAY, BARB.
LISTEN, SLOW DOWN A BIT, HONEY.
- WELL, THAT'S NOT FAST. FOUR?
- [singing] PRETTY LADY
- [singing] FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE
HI, SAM.
SAM.
JUST ONE SECOND.
- HE LOOKS LIKE ONE OF THOSE GUYS,
SERIAL KILLER WEEK ON THE TV.
HE LOOKS CRAZY.
[Sam singing]
JIM?
WHAT ARE YOU BOYS DOING HERE?
- YOU KNOW JACOB, RIGHT? - HAS HE SHOWED UP YET?
- WE NEED YOU TO BLOCK ANY MISSING PERSONS REPORTS.
THIS IS IMPORTANT, JIM. YOU GOT TO DO THIS.
- JULIAN, PHIL KEEPS CALLING ME ALL THE TIME ABOUT THIS.
YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN AN AWKWARD POSITION HERE.
[Sam singing] [Barb laughing]
- HEY, PAY ATTENTION. WE'RE SERIOUS.
- OH, SHIT. FUCK.
OH, FUCK.
[groaning]
- GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER, CAVE MAN.
- SHE JUST NEEDS A LITTLE AIR, JIM.
- SAM, YOU STAY AWAY FROM BARB, OR YOU'LL FEEL THE HEAT.
REMEMBER HEAT, QUEST FOR FIRE?
- ENOUGH OF THE CAVEMAN COMMENTS.
- ARE YOU STARTING SHIT HERE? OUTSIDE, SAM, LET'S GO.
- FUCK! WATCH THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME.
ALL OF YOU.
SAM, CHECK YOUR BEARD.
YOU GOT A BIG, BIG PIECE OF CHICKEN IN THERE.
THANKS, JULIAN.
I OWE YOU ONE, BUD.
- BLOCK THE MISSING PERSONS REPORTS.
ALMOST HOME, BARB.
[groaning]
- HEY, GUYS, GIVE ME A HAND HERE, PLEASE.
COME ON, BARB.
BED TIME.
- MR. LAHEY. - YEAH, BUBBS?
- WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF PHIL COLLINS
REPORTED JACOB MISSING
AND SAID THE LAST TIME HE WAS SEEN WAS IN JULIAN'S CAR?
THERE'S NO QUESTION, BUBBS.
YOU'D BE INVESTIGATED.
I CAN'T STOP THAT.
I CAN HOLD OFF THE MISSING PERSONS REPORT
FOR ANOTHER DAY, DAY AND A HALF ON THE OUTSIDE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
OH, BUBBLES, I LOVE YOU.
OH, I LOVE YOU TOO, BARB.
OH!
BANGED YOUR NOODLE.
TAKE IT EASY, GUYS.
COME ON, JULIAN. GIVE US A HAND.
- JIM, JIM, YOU GOT TO HELP US OUT ON THIS, OKAY?
WE CAN'T GET THE POLICE INVOLVED NOW.
WE GOT TOO MUCH CRAZY SHIT ON THE GO JIM.
- OH, JULIAN, SUCH BIG MUSCLES.
JULIAN, COME HERE, BUD.
THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
YOU GOTTA FIND THOSE GUYS REAL FAST,
OR I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET INVOLVED IN THIS,
OFFICIALLY.
AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE THAT, ARE YOU, JULIAN?
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP, BOYS.
- THOSE LITTLE BOOK NERDS, MAN, THEY RIPPED US OFF.
THEY STOLE YOUR FUCKING CAR, JULIAN.
THEY PROBABLY SOLD THAT AND SPENT IT ON DRUGS
AND FUCKING FRIED CHICKEN AND SHIT.
- WE SHOULD GO LOOKING FOR THEM, SHOULDN'T WE, TOMORROW?
I MEAN, THEY COULD BE LOST,
OR THERE'S THE DISTINCT POSSIBILITY
THAT THEY'VE BEEN FUCKED BY BEARS.
FUCKED BY BEARS?
- I'M STARTING TO THINK SOMETHING WENT TERRIBLY WRONG.
- THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. MAYBE THEY GOT FUCKED BY BEARS.
NO, SOMETHING WORSE.
- WHAT'S WORSE THAN GETTING FUCKED BY BEARS?
[crickets chirping]