- Bwaaaah!
And now moving on—
Last week, one of our viewers
submitted an awesome video clip
to us right here at iCarly.com.
It's from Keri Mackler
of Providence, Rhode Island.
- She's a singer.
- This girl can wail.
Freddie, play Keri's
video clip.
Playback.
- Hi, Carly. Hey, Sam.
I love your web show.
Okay, check this out.
This is one of my mom's
really good glasses.
Okay, now watch...
- Yeah!
- Nice!
Did you see that?
Why can't she sing that note
next to our math teacher's head?
All right, now to finish off
tonight's Webcast,
my brother Spencer—
An amazing artist—
Is gonna show you
his latest sculpture—
His coolest one ever—
So hit the applause button
and say hello
to my big brother, Spencer!
Yo-yo-Dee-yo!
Tell the iCarly viewers
about your latest masterpiece.
Okay, so the other night
I'm watching this TV show
about building houses, right?
And this one guy
asks this other guy
which he likes better,
a nail gun or a hammer.
And the guy goes, "Personally,
I'm a fan of hammers."
And when he said that,
it inspired me to build this...
A fan of hammers!
Sam, hit that button.
Thank you!
I understand your excitement!
Hey, check this out.
It actually works.
All right!
Fan-tastic!
Uh, is it supposed to do that?
Um, no, not really, no.
Hit the floor!
It needs to be adjusted.
- In five, four, three, two...
- I got it.
If it's Freddie's mom,
don't open the door.
Hey, my mom happens
to be...
yeah, don't.
- Granddad.
- Spencer.
- Granddad!
- Carly!
- How's my little gumdrop, huh?
- Awesome!
Did you see
my web show last night?
Yes, I did,
and you were adorable.
Thanks! So, what are you
doing here in Seattle?
Why didn't you tell us
you were coming?
What,
a man can't drive ninety minutes
to surprise
his favorite grandkids, huh?
How come my grandfather
just sleeps and burps?
'Cause he's related to you?
Oh, you remember Freddie.
'Course.
He lives right across the hall.
And I think you met Sam
last time you were here.
Yes, she borrowed ten dollars
from me
and then ate my sandwich.
Nice to see you again.
Oh, Carly, ah-ah,
got a little present for you.
Really?
Ooh, a gift card
for groovy smoothies!
- Thanks.
- How much?
Sam.
Thirty bucks.
Good man.
Let's go spend that bad boy.
I can't now.
My granddad just got here.
Ah, go have fun.
I'll be in town a few days.
Okay!
- Smooth-eeee!
- Yeah!
Bring me back
a blueberry banana blitz?
Sure. Be back whenever.
See you whenever.
I used to get
the strawberry splat,
but then I tried
the blueberry banana blitz—
Are you outta your mind?
I shoulda got
the strawberry splat?
I am talking about
your little stunt
on Carly's Webcast.
Oh, the fan of hammers.
You nearly took
Carly's head off.
It was incredibly irresponsible.
It was an accident.
And I am very responsible.
Oh, you think?
A responsible guardian
tells a 13-year-old girl
she can just come home
"whenever"?
She's just across the street.
And she's with two friends,
and she has her cell phone
with her at all times.
You know, I was not happy
when you dropped
out of law school
to become an artist.
Wow! Really?
You could've been
a fantastic lawyer!
- I didn't wanna be a lawyer!
- Why not?
Because when you're a lawyer,
you can't do this!
You had such a bright future.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm rocking out.
You could've been
a brilliant lawyer,
that's all I'm trying to say!
But then you start making
these weird sculptures,
and now...
And now you're putting
Carly at risk.
So, maybe
it's for the best if...
If Carly comes to live with me!
Carly needs a grown-up.
- I am a grown-up.
- Huh—
And I really don't think
Carly wants go live
with you in Yakima.
- And why is that?
- 'Cause she likes to have fun.
Oh, you don't think
I'm fun, huh?
That was impressive.
I'll be
at the Parker-Nichols hotel,
two blocks over.
I love you, Spencer.
But Carly needs a responsible
adult authority figure.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Whoop...
Hey, Spence,
I'm back with one large
blueberry banana blitz.
- Where have you been?
- At the groovy smoothie.
- For a half hour?
- Smoothies are thick.
You can only suck 'em down
so fast.
No excuses.
You're outta control.
Yeah, clearly I have a problem.
I'll check into smoothies
anonymous tomorrow.
When you live under my roof,
you live by my rules, so...
Always try your best
and eat your vegetables!
Okay, are you on
some kind of new medication
I should know about?
Ahh, I can't do this.
Do what?
After you left,
granddad told me
he doesn't think
I'm responsible enough
to take care of you.
That's insane.
He thinks you'd be better off
living with him in Yakima.
Yakima? I ain't going to
Yakima!
He can't do that.
Can he do that?
- I don't know.
- But you're very responsible.
Our grandfather
doesn't think so.
Well, we're just gonna have
to change granddad's mind
'cause I'm not moving to
Yakima.
All right, don't worry
too much about this yet.
Just go do your homework
or something.
Okay.
I mean,
You go do your homework
right now, young lady!
Yes, sir.
And just say no!
- Always!
- And stay in school!
Maybe!
Will you chill?
I'll chill
after granddad's convinced
that Spencer's
a responsible adult.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Hey, could you keep
your hands off
my equipment over there?
I could...
But I don't think I will.
I'm wearing my suit.
Nice.
Isn't it kinda small on you?
Yeah,
'cause I only wore it once
in the tenth grade
for a school play.
- What role did you play?
- Man in suit.
Ah.
I hate it!
You're not supposed to like it.
It's supposed to help granddad
see you as a mature adult.
Okay.
But can we have ice cream
after he's gone?
- Doorbell.
- Smells like your granddad.
- You smell like garbage.
- Your butt's shaped like a ham.
Hey, no fighting tonight.
You figure out
how to tie your tie,
and I'll go downstairs
and stall granddad.
Okay.
- What do you want us to do?
- Get out.
Right.
Wait, the back way!
- Granddad.
- Surprise!
Wow.
An "I heart Yakima" t-shirt.
- For you.
- Yay.
Why'd you get me this?
Carly...
Come, sit.
I got in touch
with your dad last night.
Aw, man.
I told him
I was worried about you,
you know,
living here with Spencer.
And what'd he say?
He thinks Spencer's
very responsible.
See? He knows
what he's talking about.
Wait.
Your dad also agreed that,
since he's not here right now,
I can decide
what's best for you.
Well, what does he know?
He's in the Navy on a submarine
three miles under water!
He's probably all dizzy!
Carly, you're coming
to live with me in Yakima.
No! I wanna stay here
in Seattle with Spencer!
Spencer needs to learn
to take care of himself
before he can take care
of a child.
I'm not a child.
I'm just young and short.
Sweetheart—
Spencer's very responsible
and very grown up!
Hey, you guys...
Ohh! Ooh!
Who's ready for dinner?
Please don't make me move
to Yakima.
Please don't make her move
to Yakima.
Yakima's a great town.
No "great town"
can be named Yakima.
It sounds like
someone throwing up.
It does.
Yakima!
I'm sorry.
She's coming to live with me.
Then I wore this monkey suit
for nothing!
Stupid tie!
You're wrong about him.
Look, I love Spencer—
then let me keep living here.
And what if something
bad happens?
Nothing's gonna happen.
You don't know that.
- Remember the hammer.
- I ducked!
- What if you hadn't?
- But I did!
Can't you see I'm only thinking
of what's best for you?
No! What about school?
You can transfer
to Yakima Junior High.
Gross!
I'm sorry, baby,
my mind's made up.
You can have a day
to pack up your things
and say goodbye to your friends.
We leave tomorrow night.
Call for help.
I can't believe you're moving.
Well, believe it
'cause it's happening.
You know, I ought
to go tell your grandfather
a thing or two.
If only you knew
a thing or two.
Ooh, can I have this?
I'm moving, I'm not dying.
But don't you want me
to have something
to remember you by?
Like 9,000
of your favorite songs?
Give it.
I'm just trying
to cheer you up.
You can't cheer me up.
I'm moving to Yakima.
I'm gonna be a Yakimite...
Or a Yakimaneeshin.
Yakimaniac.
You're Yakimannoying.
So...
What about our show?
I don't see how we're gonna do
"iCarly" anymore.
Ugh, this whole thing's
so lame.
So Spencer's a little unusual.
Big deal.
It doesn't mean
he can't take care of me.
Hey, what if we think
of a way for your granddad
to see that Spencer's
a good guardian?
- Yeah.
- How?
I could pretend to do
something really terrible.
Right. Something that'll get
Spencer really upset with you.
Yeah, then he'll freak out
and yell at me
right in front of granddad.
Which will make him realize
Spencer's a responsible
authority figure.
I love it.
So what bad thing
are you gonna do?
I don't know.
Let's think of something.
I enjoy this assignment.
It's open!
I thought you weren't coming
to get Carly till later.
She called and asked me
to come here for dinner.
- Oh, did she?
- Yes.
Maybe she's handling
this whole thing
more maturely than you are.
Maybe she is.
Must you look in my wok?
I just wanna know
what you're cooking for dinner.
Chicken stir-fry. That okay?
Or do you think mister chicken
should go pack his bags
and live with you in Yakima?
Will you stop trying
to pick fights with me?
You're just mad because I don't
want to be a lawyer like you.
I love you, Spencer,
but I love Carly, too,
and as her grandfather,
it's my responsibility
to make sure that she—
Hey, guys.
- Oh, my God.
Carly! What have you done?
Well, I figured
since I'm going to a new school,
it's a perfect time to,
you know, re-invent myself.
- You like?
- Like?
You look fantastic!
- What?
I mean, you really like it?
Yeah!
You got the crazy hair
and the piercings.
It's so in your face.
You know, like... Boo!
You approve of this?
Give us a sec.
How can you think
she looks good like that?
- I don't.
- Then why did you tell her—
- she's a little teenager.
- But—
you gotta let kids
express themselves.
I always let Carly
express herself.
Can I interrupt?
- Not now!
- Quiet, Carly.
Look, this is just a phase.
And what's her next phase?
Stealing cars?
Swimming with hobos?
I don't think
hobos enjoy swimming.
This just proves
that you're unfit
to take care
of my granddaughter.
She's my little sister,
and I am very responsible,
no matter what you say.
I know everything
that goes on around here.
Uh, guys?
- What?
Fire!
Don't just yell! Do something!
Yes, we have a kitchen fire!
Please send help right away!
Aaah!
Aw!
And I just bought this broom!
Aaah!
Hey, don't worry,
we're just gonna go—
quiet! I'm saving your life!
Aah!
Careful with her!
Run, old man, run!
Aah! Aah!
Aah!
Too many people in my lobby!
Keep off my floor!
I just mopped!
Aah!
Just wait in the car, Mom!
Man!
Hey. Freddie texted me saying
you guys had a fire.
Nice rods and rings.
If you like 'em, take 'em.
I already told my granddad
and Spencer they were fake.
Why?
'Cause Spencer thought
I looked good,
then his chicken burst
into flames,
and now I'm moving to Yakima.
So this fire is your fault.
Mrs. Benson, please, I—
Because of you, I had to stop
right in the middle of rubbing
anti-tick lotion on Freddie.
Mom, I don't have ticks.
They hide in your leg hair.
I don't have leg hair!
Which worries me deeply!
I'm sorry.
I was making dinner,
and it caught on fire.
Well, you're lucky
no one got hurt.
Anti-tick lotion?
It's precautionary.
You were right, okay?
I am irresponsible.
Carly should go live with you.
Spencer.
Well, I'm glad
you see it my way, Spence.
You can come visit
any time you like.
All right, fire's out.
It's all clear.
- How's the damage?
- Nothing too bad.
Mmm!
This is some good
chicken stir-fry.
Okay.
This is my last suitcase.
I'm ready to ruin my life.
Look, I know you're upset,
kiddo,
but once you smell
that Yakima air,
you'll feel better.
Yes, the sweet smell of Yakima.
- Here.
- What's this?
Everything you need to know
about taking care of Carly.
I listed all of her allergies,
the number for poison control—
- She has allergies?
- Yes.
These are Carly's
favorite foods, drinks,
soups, and chowders.
Aren't soups
and chowders the same thing?
No, there's a distinction.
Uh, this is her
homework schedule
and the number for a good tutor
'cause she's been having
some trouble with science.
Oh, and these are the vitamins
she needs to take every day.
I only give her the ones
shaped like dinosaurs.
Why?
Dinosaurs are cool.
Oh, she's really
into drinking coffee...
But I always give her decaf
without telling her.
- What?
- Nothing.
Keep it.
Thank you, Spencer.
This is, uh...
Impressive.
Wow, thanks.
So, this is it.
This is it.
Be strong, Freddie.
So, who's gonna take the blame
when I put live lobsters
in the trunk
of miss Briggs' car?
Will you at least try
to stay out of trouble?
Nope.
Well, we should go.
Long drive, lots of traffic.
Okay, well, I guess this is—
No!
Freddie, let go of my legs.
I got him.
Sorry.
Lost my cool
for a sec there.
You can't lose
what you never had.
Okay. Let's go.
Aren't you gonna say
goodbye to Spencer?
We already did
before you came up.
Okay then.
Will you guys come down
to the lobby with me?
- Sure.
- Of course.
Aw, man!
Wait!
Hello?
No, Freddie's not here,
Mrs. Benson.
I don't know
when I grew leg hair!
I gotta go!
Wait!
Waah! More people!
Aaah!
Okay, the car's right out front.
Oh, young man, would you mind
getting the rest—
Carly! Wait!
You forgot this.
What's that?
My asthma inhaler?
I haven't had an asthma attack
since I was seven.
Well, yeah, but you know,
you never know.
Why did you keep that
all these years?
In case she needed it.
I'm not gonna need it.
Take it.
Just in case.
Nah. I'm not gonna need this.
Look, asthma's tricky—
I'm not gonna need this
because I want Carly
to stay here with you.
- Are you serious?
- Really?
- Thank you! Thank you so much!
Could somebody remove
this young man from my trousers?
Just remember,
I'll be dropping in on you guys
from time to time.
- Please!
- Anytime!
'Cause I still think
you're a bit of a nut-bar.
Why? 'Cause I do this?
Don't do that.
You do it like this.
You guys are so embarrassing.
If you're gonna do it,
do it right.