- I'm home.
- Bonjour.
- Hi, hey, yo, can't
talk, super busy.
- Okay, what is up with you?
- There's an art gallery
downtown that wants to showcase
new works by great
unknown artists.
- Awesome, you're
a great artist.
- And you're definitely unknown.
- Thank you.
- How do you get your
stuff in the gallery?
- They have to think
it's really good,
which is why I gotta finish
my latest three sculptures
that I call...
Yippee-Yi Yo-Yo,
The Elephant Cycle,
and my Christmas tree of noses,
which I call Merry Sniffmas.
Now, I gotta finish these!
I can't talk!
Do you realize this gallery is
the place where Harry Joyner
first showcased his artwork
almost 20 years ago?
- Who's Harry Joyner?
- Harry Joyner's Spencer's
favorite pop artist.
- Of all time!
- Sure, I'll have a snack.
- I didn't offer you a snack.
- Well, let's pretend you did.
- Okay, where's my green yo-yo?
I just had my green yo-yo!
- It's in your hand?
- It's in my hand!
- Man, I've never seen
Spencer so freaked out.
- I know, I wish we
could calm him down.
- Where's my hot glue gun?
I can't work with cold glue!
- He seriously thinks
that gallery
won't like his sculptures?
- All creative people
worry their stuff's lame.
That's an artist thing.
- Hey, what if we get
Harry Joyner to come here?
Do you know how much
it would mean to Spencer
if his idol
complimented his art?
- Well, yeah, but isn't that
Joyner dude, like, famous?
- How are you gonna get him?
- He lives in Seattle.
I could send him an email.
Worth a shot.
- Okay, I am missing a nose.
I had another nose just
like these two noses,
and now I can't find it.
- Email that dude fast.
- Like, soon.
- Or now.
In five,
four, three, two...
- Look at Lewbert.
- Worst doorman ever.
- I know.
Who eats half a cheeseburger,
then falls asleep?
- Someone who just lost the
other half of his cheeseburger.
- Sam, gross.
It's not my fault.
Waiting around for people
makes me crave meat.
- Do you even know what
Harry Joyner looks like?
- Yeah, you know, he looks like
a man, with a face and hair.
- Yeah, I have an uncle
that looks a lot like that.
- So what did you say
in your email
to get Joyner to come here?
- It wasn't what I said.
It was the pictures I attached
of Spencer's sculptures.
- Joyner liked 'em?
- I guess.
He said he wanted to
come see them in person.
- That is so cool.
- You know what else is cool?
- What?
- Not you.
- See! I told ya!
Any time a chance comes
along for you to insult me,
you just gotta jump on it.
- You should be nicer to him.
- Ha! She couldn't be
nicer to me if she tried,
'cause she has no self-control.
- I have oodles of self-control.
I self-control
myself all the time.
- Good, then prove it.
Don't insult Freddie
for a whole week.
- No problem.
- And what if she does?
- Okay, for every insult,
you owe Freddie 5 bucks.
- Fine.
- Good, I'm gonna be rich.
- No, 'cause I'm not gonna
say one mean word to you.
- Really?
You want to kiss me?
- Kiss you?
Dude, I'd rather...
not do that at this time, but
I appreciate your kind offer.
- Impressive.
- Good girl.
- Pardon me, is
one of you Carly?
- Harry Joyner?
- In the flesh.
- Hi! Thanks so much
for coming here.
- Well, I was intrigued by the
photographs you emailed me,
so I'd like to see your
brother's sculptures
with my own eyes.
- My god, you have no idea
how blown away he's gonna be
when he sees you.
You're his hero.
- Oh.
- Come on, let's go upstairs.
- My mom is my hero.
- This is gonna be a long week.
Hey.
Hey!
Man, I hate this yo-yo.
The glue won't stick
to the plastic surface.
- Why don't you try an
adhesive bonding gel?
- That's a good idea.
How did you—
Mr. Joy— Mr. Joy-
- Joyner.
- Call me Harry.
- Okay.
Harry? Wow!
- Your little sister
sent me an email
and attached some photos
of your sculptures.
- You!
- Me!
Her!
- And since I'm working
on a new project nearby,
I thought I'd pop over and
see your work in person.
- Well, thanks for popping!
What kind of project
are you working on?
- It's a fantastic one.
You see, since I've
already made sculptures
out of every material
known to man,
I figured I'd make
a sculpture out of man himself.
- Like a human sculpture?
- Precisely, a human sculpture,
which I shall photograph
and quite likely frame.
But let's talk about
your creations.
- Well, here-here they are.
These are the sculptures
I've been working on.
- I see.
I see.
Structure...
Interesting, yes.
Interesting.
I see what you're trying to do.
Eh...
Alright.
- Well?
- I don't love them.
- Oh.
- But you like them, right?
- Honestly, I-I don't.
I mean, look, these pieces
are cute and amusing,
but they're amateurish at best.
Not to say that
they're bad, just...
not good.
- Alright, then.
I've got a rather
packed schedule,
so I should— I should run.
Pleasure to meet you, Spencer.
Children.
- Spencer...
- I gotta...
I gotta go, uh, lay down.
- Spencer, it's been four hours.
I think you need to get
off the kitchen table.
- Why?
Is Santa Claus here to tell me
I'm ugly and have no friends?
- Spencer, get up.
Come on, you need to
get off the table.
- I'm comfy right here.
Ow.
- You weren't supposed
to fall on the floor.
Well, you know...
gravity.
- So Harry Joyner
didn't like your art.
He's one person.
- Yeah, my number-one
idol in the art world
and he thinks my sculptures
are amateurish and not good.
This may be the worst thing
that's ever happened in my life.
It's like a giant rain cloud
has opened up above me and—
- Spencer!
- No!
- Spencer!
- No!
Spencer, open the door.
I want to be alone!
- Hey.
You want to the Galaxy Wars
Convention with me this weekend?
I'm dressing up as Nug Nug
from the planet Zorcon.
- I'm not gonna
insult you, Freddie.
You're not getting
5 bucks out of me.
When I grow up,
I wonder what kind of girl
will want to marry me.
After I take a shower, my mom
makes me sign a piece of paper
promising that I
shampooed twice.
- Should I call an ambulance?
- Make him stop setting
me up to insult him.
It's killing me!
- You're the one who—
- You guys, not now.
Spencer's really upset.
- Why? Who cares what
Harry Joyner thinks?
- Spencer does, a lot!
I've never seen
him this depressed.
- This is so dumb.
Spencer's sculptures
are the best.
- I know, but we've all told him
that and he won't believe us.
- Maybe he needs to hear
it from a few more people.
- Going live in five,
four, three, two...
- Hello, people of
Earth who own computers.
- Congratulations, you've
signed on to icarly.com.
- So sit back, take
off your socks,
and enjoy this fine webcast.
- I'm Carly!
- I'm Sam!
- That's not right.
- I'm Carly.
- I'm Sam.
We were
momentarily confused.
- But no worries.
- 'Cause tonight, we got
a very special episode
of iCarly for ya.
- We're gonna take
you on a trip—
—to a virtual art show—
—right here in
the iCarly studio.
- So you people can see some
awesomely cool sculptures.
Leave us your comments
right here at icarly.com.
- Now, you can't have a real art
exhibit without music, right?
- So say hello to Sam's cousin—
—the one who's not in jail—
—our friend—
—Greg Patello!
- Yeah!
- Hey, Carly.
Hi, Sam.
- Hey, dude.
- Hi, Greg.
Why don't you
crank up that flute
and get this art exhibit
started?
- Yeah, baby!
- Here we go.
- How was that?
- Boring.
- Now show them how
we do it iCarly style.
- Hurry, Greg!
- [plays upbeat music
while beatboxing]
- He's playing the flute—
—and beatboxing—
—at the same time—
—all by himself.
- My cousin has got talent.
- Yeah, baby.
- Yeah!
Whoo!
- Now, we call this
next sculpture—
- Splatter Man.
Wow!
- Now, here's an
enjoyable sculpture—
—which we like to call—
Yippee-Yi Yo-Yo!
- Now look at this
next sculpture.
- It's a Christmas tree—
—of noses—
—appropriately named—
Merry Sniffmas!
- Baby squirrel made out
of video camera parts.
- Okay!
- Look at this next sculpture.
- It's a robot—
—made out of soda bottles.
- His eyes light up red—
—angry or not.
- Now, this sculpture
is called—
—The Bottle Bot.
- Not to be confused
with Bubble Butt,
which is what I call our
teacher,
the horrible Ms. Briggs.
- Why did you say that live on
the web? She already hates you.
- Which means I have
nothing to lose!
- Okay, now be sure to
leave us your comments—
—about all the sculptures
we've shown you tonight—
—and send us pics of your own
artwork right here to iCarly—
—dot com.
Not dot net.
- Dot net is for losers.
Bye!
- See ya!
- You guys showed my artwork
on your web show tonight?
- Yeah, we did.
- And those comments are
from some of our viewers.
- Yeah, just a few thousand.
- They loved your sculptures.
- Almost every comment we
got said they're awesome.
- Except for one from Sam's
cousin in jail, who wrote,
"Who cares about art?
Get me out of this rat hole!"
- The point is, our viewers
went nuts over your stuff.
- Look at all those comments.
- Are any of these
comments from Harry Joyner?
- Would you forget Harry Joyner?
- I can't!
He's the guy who inspired
me to become an artist.
- Read these,
the thousands of people
saying they love
your sculptures.
- Then give them
to those people,
'cause I got myself a new job.
- Like, a real job?
- You can't have a real job!
You're Spencer!
- You're an artist.
- Nope.
Starting tomorrow,
I'm a dental assistant.
Spencer, open the door.
- Freddie, you didn't sign
the shampoo agreement.
How do I know if
you double pooed?
- You thought I was kidding.
- Come on, Carly,
that's not true.
- It is true.
I've ruined Spencer's life.
If I'd never emailed
that dumb Harry Joyner,
none of this would've
ever happened.
I'm upset.
- Aww, I think
someone needs a hug.
- Thanks.
Uh, Freddie?
Freddie, we can un-hug now.
- Please let this last.
- Hey, I'm home.
- Hey!
- Hi, kids.
- Oh, hey, Mrs. Benson.
- Mom, what are you doing here?
- Yeah, what's up?
- I'm getting ready
to go to work,
so Mrs. Benson's
gonna stay with you.
- Here!
- I can't leave you alone.
- Yeah, you can.
Sure you can.
Why can't ya?
She's gonna stay here!
- I brought soy crisps!
- Okay, wait, it's after 4:00.
Who goes to work in a
dental office after 4:00?
- This dentist works afternoons
and nights for people
that can't get away
during the day.
- Well, you need to quit
dentistry
and go back to being an artist.
- Carly, I'm a
dental assistant now.
- Whatever, I'm still way
too old to have a babysitter.
- Oh, now, don't think
of me as your babysitter.
Think of me more as your
gal pal who "hangs" with you
during afternoons and evening.
- So is this gonna
be a regular thing!
Not that I don't love your mom.
She's awesome.
Is this gonna be
a regular thing!
- For now, yeah.
See you later.
- But what if— but where are—
- I don't know how Freddie
lives with his mom.
She wouldn't let me
eat anything fun.
She blocked all the
good TV channels.
And she made me eat
lasagna with a spoon.
- Why a spoon?
- She says forks are dangerous,
that I could stab my tongue.
- Yeah, that's not
cool, so not cool.
Nope, nope, nope.
- What's wrong with you?
Why are you so jittery?
- Because I'm freaking out, man.
I'm freaking out!
- Why?
- I haven't insulted
Freddie in days— days!
I can't take it.
I cannot take it and the
week's only half over.
- So insult him once just
to calm yourself down.
- I can't afford the 5 bucks.
I spent all my
allowance on beef jerky.
I can't handle not
insulting that boy!
- Don't you think my problem
with Spencer's
a little more
important than this?
- Yeah, sorry.
- It's all that stupid
Harry Joyner's fault.
I'd like to stab his
tongue with a fork!
Why did he have to be
so mean to Spencer?
- You should go talk to him.
- Who, Joyner?
- Yeah, he's still
in town, right?
Isn't he doing some
big human art sculpture
at the Henshaw Warehouse?
- Yeah.
- Hey, Carly.
Hi, Sam.
What do you think of
my Nug Nug costume?
I'm wearing this to the
Galaxy Wars Convention.
Any comments, Sam?
- Move.
Have fun at the
convention, Nub Nub.
- It's Nug Nug.
- Whatever!
- Alright, let's get
this done, people.
You there, put your
finger in his ear.
- Yes, Sir!
- Perfect.
You, put your left shoe
on your right hand.
- Hey, Harry, can
we talk to you?
- What? No.
I have to pose all these people
and take a photograph
before I lose the light.
Cheese cube!
Mm, I love cubes of cheese.
- We just need a second.
- Fine, what do you want?
Will someone please put
a brassiere on the clown?
- On it!
- Harry?
- What?
- Ever since you told my brother
you didn't like his sculptures,
he's been really upset.
- You ruined his confidence.
- Will someone please
rub that man's face
on that brick wall over there?
- Yes, Sir!
- Thank you!
- How would you feel if your
hero told you your work stunk?
- I am my own hero.
- Look, even if you
think he's terrible,
would you please
come talk to him?
Say something to
make him feel better.
- I got somebody.
- Good, put the
freak over there.
Sorry, short on time.
Alright, let's get
this show on the road!
- Well, maybe Spencer will
be a great dental assistant.
- No, he won't.
Harry Joyner or no Harry Joyner,
Spencer's quitting that job
and coming home right now.
- Is this on right?
- I don't know!
- Wow, it's true!
They told us in dental school if
you push a person's tongue back,
you trigger the spit gland.
See?
- Spencer!
- Hi, what are you doing—
- We need to talk.
- Hey, you can't be in here.
I'm working with a patient.
- Yeah, seriously,
Carly, you gotta go.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Carly?
As in iCarly?
Ah ah?
- This is your little
sister with the web show.
- Yeah, that's me.
- My kid loves iCarly!
- Really?
- Sure.
You stay as long as you want.
- Fun job?
- Why are you here?
- To bring you home so you
can be an artist again.
- I can't put my heart into
something I'm no good at.
And I really like being
a dental assistant.
It's fun.
- You need to go home.
- Good, take me there.
- I don't get off work until...
- Hello, Spencer.
- Hi, Harry. How come—
- Hey, you can't be in here.
I'm working...
Wait.
Harry Joyner the artist?
- Ah ah?
- Indeed.
- Wow, I love your work.
Thank you.
- You stay as long as you want.
- Ah, ah-ha.
- I'll assume that
was a compliment.
Thank you.
- So why are you here?
- Carly came by my
photoshoot today.
She told me you'd decided
to quit being an artist.
- Yeah, I have.
It's okay.
It's not your fault
my art's terrible.
- Your art's not terrible.
It's good.
Great, actually.
- But I thought—
- Then why did you say
you didn't like it?
- Truthfully?
When I saw your work,
I was jealous.
- Jealous? Of me?
- Your sculptures are better
than anything I've done
in a long time.
- Now do you believe
you're talented?
- Spencer, do the world a favor.
Be an artist.
- Okay.
- Hey, uh, if you're as good
as he says that you are,
how about you building me
a sculpture
for my waiting room over there?
I'll pay you a thousand bucks.
- Done!
- Um, would you like a little
help with that project?
- Wait...
you're saying you
wanna work with me?
On a sculpture?
- Only if you don't faint
every time I talk to you.
- Do you think I
have too much here?
- Don't ask me.
Just use as much as
you think you need.
- I want your opinion.
- You don't need my opinion.
- I crave your opinion.
- I crave a hamburger.
- I'll make you a hamburger
as soon as we're done.
- Alright.
- I'm home.
- We're here.
- Hi, guys.
- Hello.
- Wow, you got home
from school fast.
- Sam's mom gave us
a ride again.
- That was nice of her.
- Nah, she just likes
dumping me here.
- Freddie with you guys?
No.
But since Carly's home,
he'll probably be here in—
- What's up?
—zero seconds.
- I would've been
here sooner, but, uh,
I was helping my
mom knit a sweater.
Any comment?
- Please let me insult
you once for free.
- Nope.
5 bucks an insult.
- Then I think it's very sweet
you were helping
your mommy knit.
- Impressive.
- You're just lucky I'm broke.
- The sculpture's
looking awesome.
- That dentist dude's
really gonna pay you
1,000 bucks for that?
- Paid in advance!
- Cash.
- Sweet.
- Since you guys helped
me get my art career back,
40 for you, 40 for you,
and 41 for my little sister.
- Aw, I'm special.
- And now that I
have 40 bucks...
you're a nerd.
- Thank you.
- Your breath smells
like dead feet.
No girl will ever want you.
- Noted.
- I don't like your pants.
- Fair enough.
- If you were a country,
you'd be El Salva-dork.
Did I make
fun of your butt yet?
No.
- It's oddly shaped.
So is your head.
- Awesome.
- Remember my cousin Greg?
- The dude who plays
the flute and beatboxes?
- You can see him play more
great stuff at icarly.com.
- So go check it
out at icarly.com.
- You gotta go to icarly.com.
- You must go to icarly.com.
You must go to icarly.com.
Please... go to icarly.com.
Mmm.