I love them.
So it's cool if I miss
"iCarly"?
No.
You promised
you'd be on the show tonight.
Sorry.
I'll do it another time.
Great, where are we
gonna find another kid
who can fit his entire foot
in his mouth?
Hey, Gibby.
You wanna be on "iCarly"?
Totally. What do I got to do?
- I'll show you.
- Oh!
Put your foot it your mouth.
Come on, you can do it.
- I can't!
- In the mouth, Gibby!
- I don't bend that way!
- Put your foot in your mouth!
- I can't! I can't do that!
- She's not like other girls.
- No.
Come on, Gibby,
lift your foot higher.
Bend it, Gibby, come on!
Put the foot in the mouth!
In five, four, three, two...
Hello, Internet-alonians.
Greetings, webites.
If you're here to see
a live autopsy
of an alien...
You've come to the wrong url.
Okay, we've got
an awesome show
for you guys tonight.
And we're gonna kick it off
by showing you
a freakish video.
Sent in by an "iCarly"
viewer...
Of a cat meowing
the national anthem.
God bless "a-meow-ica."
- Freddie?
- One singin' cat comin' up.
I rule you, horse.
I said, giddy-up.
I said, giddy-up, yeah!
Freddie,
where's the singing cat?
Okay, okay. Hang on.
Here.
- It's upside down.
- I see that. Wait.
Sorry "iCarly" viewers.
Freddie will have the cat video
fixed in just a sec.
Okay, guys,
we're having some minor
technical difficulties.
So, while we get 'em fixed...
Please enjoy this picture
of an old lady biting a brick.
Freddie, what do you think
went wrong?
I'm not sure.
But I'd bet an entire
month's allowance
that all my equipment
was working perfectly.
Ooh, you'd bet
a whole eight bucks?
Shh.
Your mom only gives you
eight bucks a month?
She's afraid
if she gives me more,
I'll buy a bus ticket
and leave her.
That's so dumb.
Yeah, not really.
It's on right now?
Cool, I'm puttin' it on.
Thanks, Socko.
Turn on channel eight!
- Why, what's...
- No time for questions!
At the Westbrook mall,
the Plain White T's,
famous for their
number one hit song,
"Hey There, Delilah,"
were signing autographs
when lead singer
Tom Higgenson sneaked away
to buy himself a latte.
As Mr. Higgenson
was leaving the coffee kiosk,
he was almost struck
by a giant menu board
when it fell from
the upstairs food court.
- Oh, no!
- What?
Shh, watch, watch.
Luckily, a passing bystander
pushed the rock star
out of the way,
saving his life.
- Spencer!
- That's you.
- I know!
- You're like a hero.
"Like"?
So did you get an autograph
from Tom Higgenson?
Better,
I didn't have any paper,
so he signed my back.
- Wow.
- Read it.
"Spencer, thanks so much
for pushing me out of the way.
If it wasn't for you,
I could have been killed
by that menu board.
By the way, nice mole."
Oh, look.
Tom drew a little arrow
pointing to Spencer's
back mole.
That is a nice mole.
"Thanks again.
I totally owe you one, bro.
Your buddy, Tom Higgenson."
- Is that his phone number?
- Yup.
- Hey.
- What?
Oh, never mind,
I shouldn't ask.
Okay.
Will you ask the Plain White
T's to perform on "iCarly"?
Will you take
a digital picture of my back?
- Yes.
- Then, yes!
Ah!
No way!
- Colonel Morgan.
- What's up, buttercup?
- Permission to hug?
- Permission granted.
- Me next.
- Spencer.
- At ease.
- Sorry, sir.
What are you doing here?
Yeah, I thought you were
overseas with dad.
I was.
But I'm back here
for a couple of weeks
to do a little recruiting.
But more importantly...
I bring gifts from your father.
- Yes!
- Awesome.
For Carly,
a handmade laptop case
from Switzerland.
Whoa, I love Swiss
laptop cases!
And for Spencer,
a two-foot-long
Italian meat stick.
- This is two feet?
- It was, till I had lunch.
So you're gonna be in Seattle
till the end of the month?
Yep, and before I leave,
I want you both to come over
and have dinner
with me and Carmela.
- Sure.
- We'll try and get there early.
All right. I better run on.
Ooh! Before you go,
you got to read my back.
- Read your back?
- Read my back!
If you ever need my help
with anything,
you just call me.
Thanks, Colonel Morgan.
- Uncle Roger.
Is he reading it?
Are you sure
we're not gonna have
- any more problems?
- We shouldn't.
I triple-checked everything.
Okay, we're live
in five, four, three, two...
Hello, people of Earth,
Jupiter, and Wisconsin.
I'm Carly,
which rhymes with barley.
- And I'm Sam...
- Which rhymes with ham.
Okay, by now,
I'm sure you've heard
that Tom Higgenson...
Lead singer
of the Plain White T's...
Recently had his life saved
by a passing bystander.
And that passing bystander
is my brother, Spencer.
Now guess what?
Tom Higgenson is so cool
that he promised
my brother a big favor.
So Spencer's gonna try
and get the Plain White T's
to play live right
here on "iCarly."
Just go to iCarly.com
to check out more info
when that might happen.
But right now...
Sam's gonna send
a 20-word text message
using only her feet and toes.
Here I go.
Okay, Carly,
just put the cell phone
between my toes there.
- Okay, there you go.
- There we go, okay.
- All right.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Gettin' some words in there.
B-r-b.
- Oh, yeah.
- L-o-l.
Freddie, what up
with the green screen?
Uh, I'm not sure.
Uh, what's going
on with the monitor?
I don't know.
Random dancing!
Freddie, do something!
I'm trying!
It's like I have no control
over anything!
Random dancing...
- Okay, now what?
- We're offline.
No signal in or out.
Our whole website's down.
Aw, great,
in the middle of our show?
Wait, what's going on
with the monitor?
I'm not making it do that.
- Well, then who's...
- I am the source
of "iCarly"'s
technical difficulties.
Well, knock it off!
Who are you anyway?
My identity is a secret.
Nevel, come say goodbye,
sweetie.
Mother, I'm busy!
Nevel?
Hello, Carly, Sam, Freddie.
You're the one messing up
our Webcast?
That's right.
I've hacked your website.
I told you I'd get revenge.
No. You said I'd "rue the day."
Same thing!
And now your time
to rue has come.
Look, Nevel,
you better just back off,
or I'm gonna squeeze
your big round melon
head till it pops.
You don't scare me, Sam.
Well, we know
what does scare you.
Yeah. We're just gonna
tell your mom on you again,
and then
you'll be in huge trouble.
Wrong.
My mother's leaving
for a two-month cruise
around the Arabian peninsula.
Well, someone
has to be in charge of you.
Correct. My grandmother.
But she's hopelessly confused.
That's right. I'm untouchable.
I control "iCarly",
and there's nary a thing
you can do to stop me.
"Nary"?
Let the ruing begin.
You feel it, Carly?
You feel the rue?
You feel it?
Nevel, come kiss
mommy goodbye.
All right, mother!
Better find a new hobby,
Carly,
'cause your web show
is officially canceled by me.
I hate him.
I heard that.
Well, how's he doing it?
I don't know.
Somehow Nevel hacked
into my computer
and was able to control
everything in our studio.
Well, this is horrible.
You know what else
is horrible?
You're out
of mini marshmallows.
Sam.
This is a crisis situation.
Yeah?
I'll just use this big one.
So Nevel can just
mess up our show
whenever he wants?
Yeah. Till we can figure out
how to stop him,
which could take months.
Well, then, for now,
we're stopping "iCarly."
- What?
- Carly!
There's no point
in us doing the show
just so Nevel can wreck it.
- Yeah.
- True.
Awesome.
That's incredible!
I'll tell them right now. Bye.
Oh, my God!
That was Tom Higgenson.
He said yes.
I got you the Plain White T's
for "iCarly" next week!
Guys, calm down.
Does it have to be next week?
Well, yeah,
after that, they leave on
like a year-long world tour.
What's the problem?
We can't do "iCarly"
next week.
Nevel hacked us.
That evil little maniac
that makes great tapenade,
but tried to kiss Carly?
Yeah,
the little nub hates me now,
and he figured out
how to mess up our show
whenever he wants.
Do you know how huge it'd be
for "iCarly" to have
the Plain White T's on?
Yes.
Then we're not
canceling the show.
Tell Tom we'll be ready.
Yay. I go dial.
Why'd you do that?
How are we gonna stop Nevel?
He messed with iCarly.com.
We're gonna mess
with nevelocity.com.
You think you can
hack him back?
Yeah. We just got
to sneak into his house
so I can get to his computer.
And then, when he realizes
that we can crash his site,
he'll leave "iCarly" alone.
- Nice.
- Wow, Freddie.
I like seeing you
get all feisty.
That's that Freddie way.
I thought the Freddie way
was a toasted bagel
with grape jelly.
That's the Freddie
breakfast way.
Sam, where are you?
In the kitchen.
How'd you get in here?
Back door was open.
Hey, look, I got
some tuna tetrazzini
in the fridge.
Sam, we're here
to hack Nevel's computer,
not eat his tetrazzini.
I feel we can do both.
Okay, here I come.
Come on, can we just do this
before Nevel comes back?
Yeah.
Let me just unhook myself.
I'm gonna go scope
the place out.
Oh, man. The latch is bent.
What?
So you're stuck there?
Yeah.
Well, here, here,
let me help you out there.
Oh, cool, thank you.
Ah!
Stop me! Stop me! Stop me!
Will you quit playin' around?
He can't release the latch.
Oh, man.
Okay, then,
just tell us what to do.
Okay.
First, go find Nevel's
base of operations.
Right in here.
Wow.
I used to rate geeks
on a scale of one to Freddie.
But I think Nevel just
broke that scale.
Whoa.
Okay, Freddie,
we're in Nevel's nerd cave.
- What do we do?
- Okay.
Hook up my T.I.D. cable
from the UGC port on my laptop
to the QSB input
on his Y drive.
What?
The blue cable.
Plug the small end
into my laptop and the fat end
into Nevel's computer.
Thank you!
Oh, spider!
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
We have a situation!
What's wrong?
I think Nevel's grandmother
just walked in.
Don't worry. Nevel said
she's hopelessly confused.
Okay, we've got
the cable hooked up.
Now what?
Okay, there's a file
on my desktop called vl2. exe.
Drag that onto his hard drive.
- Okay.
- After you do that,
just unhook the...
Hi, there.
Spider!
Stop it, lady!
- Would you...
- Stop!
Who are you?
Your personal trainers.
My personal...
come on, let's do
some squat thrusts.
Squat thrusts.
There you go.
- Ready?
- But I don't... I don't...
- Just squat and thrust.
- Begin.
One... Two...
Do it!
- One—three.
- Three.
- Four.
- Yup, I can count, one.
- Good...
- Oh, yeah, likin' that.
Two. Work it.
Oh, keep workin'.
Don't get lazy on me.
One... uh-huh, good job.
Two, okay, come on, one...
all the way down,
don't give up.
- Go on, feel the burn?
- Ooh.
Better, okay. Keep it going.
Yeah, sure.
Ooh!
Three! "W."
Mustard!
Petticoats!
Four!
And in about two minutes,
we are gonna crash
Nevel's website.
Pull up the nevelocity.com.
Copy that.
Hey, which socks
do you think I should wear
when the Plain White T's
come here?
Blue stripes
with golden pineapples?
Or aqua
with fuchsia palm trees?
Wear one of each.
Hey, that's brilliant.
Look at you thinking
outside the socks.
I'll be in my room.
Okay, Sam, keep your eye
on Nevel's site
and watch it crash.
Still workin'.
- What happened?
- My computer crashed.
Surprise! Ha ha ha ha!
Aw, it's so cute how you tried
to crash my website,
but who failed?
You did.
Okay, Nevel,
why are you torturing us?
Firstly, because
you refused to kiss me,
then soiled my face
with tapenade.
You better just back off,
Papperman.
No, I control
the "iCarly" website now.
But look at the bright side.
- What bright side?
- There is none! Ha!
You all lost and I all won.
Bye.
Well, better tell Spencer
to cancel the Plain White T's.
Oh, man, this bites.
But we can't do
"iCarly" as long as Nevel
controls our site.
- So true.
- Get off my monitor!
- Who are you calling?
- You'll see.
- You ordering pizza?
- No!
Um, are you sure
we should do the show?
Yeah, seriously.
I mean,
you know Nevel's just...
We're doing the show.
Okay.
In five, four, three, two...
- And welcome.
- To what?
- iCarly.
- Oh, yeah.
- I'm Sam.
- And I'm Carly.
- It's Nevel again.
- Now, what's he doing?
Overriding our signal.
He's web casting directly
to our audience.
And now on "iCarly",
I will sing a song
all about my web cast.
How could this not
be infuriating you?
Just keep watching.
What are you people doing here?
I demand a...
- Quiet!
- Yes, sir.
- Who's that?
- A friend of my dad's.
- You called in the military?
- I don't play around.
Nevel Papperman,
your computer hacking
is a direct violation
of the Internet
security act of 1983.
Wait.
They're taking my equipment.
- They can't do that.
- Oh, yes, they can.
And I can also place you
under military arrest.
No! No, please,
I'm just a young boy.
Huh?
A boy, trust me.
- Please don't arrest me.
- Okay, fine.
You're not under arrest.
Then what are you
gonna do with me?
Get me down from here!
After you apologize to Carly.
I'm sorry, Carly.
Now, call yourself a weenie.
I'm a weenie.
- He is a weenie.
- Yeah.
Very weenie-ish.
Okay, Carly,
I don't think this boy
will be bothering you anymore.
- No.
- Let's clear out.
Wait,
You can't just leave me
dangling up here!
Sure, I can.
Let's go get some sushi.
Wait, wait.
No, no, please.
You can't just leave me
dangling here.
No! No!
Don't leave me dangling!
Don't leave me
dangling!
Okay, iCarly.com
is back under our control,
and we are live.
We're back.
Sorry for that
little interruption.
We don't think
it'll happen again.
- Nope.
- And now a first for "iCarly."
A world famous band
is gonna perform live
right here.
- Right now.
- So please welcome...
The Plain White T's!
Hey, I'm Tom Higgenson.
Before we do this song,
I wanna thank Carly's brother,
Spencer, for saving my life.
Spencer, you're a heck of a guy
and you wear
some rockin' socks.
That's true.
All right,
let's do this for "iCarly."
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
- Hey.
- You there.
You wanna see us do stuff
you can't see anywhere else?
- Do you?
- I think they do.
Then go online to iCarly.com.
Yeah, go to iCarly.com.
Use your computer.
It's the best way to get there.
Once you get to iCarly.com,
you can see me and Carly...
And Freddie and Spencer...
And our other friends...
Do all kinds of wacky,
fun stuff.
You know you like
wacky, fun stuff.
So go online to iCarly.com.
And see stuff
you can't see anywhere else.
Only at iCarly.com.
- So go there.
- Do it.
- Seriously.
- Bah.
Bah.