Hey, it's me. Carly.
On the other hand, I'm Sam.
And this is "iCarly."
Voted the number one web show
in the world.
- By who?
- Me.
Then it's official.
- Morgan.
- Oh, hey daddy.
What are you doing?
Watching "iCarly" online.
Sweetie, I told you,
If Daddy doesn't come up
with some TV shows
that people your age like,
Daddy's gonna get fired
and have no more money,
and then you'll starve.
So while I go see my boss,
I want you to watch
this new show we're making.
It's really funny.
Okay.
But, Michelle, Why would
you accept two dates
to the prom but not tell
either boy about the other?
Because, Dad,
Luke is so sweet,
but Brandon is so hot.
Ah, noodles.
Lame.
And now, we're gonna see
what happens when you take
an ordinary watermelon—
And pump it full
of pressurized air.
Yeah yeah, pump up the fruit.
- C'mon!
- It's gonna blow!
- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
See, she's right there.
Morgan, what are you doing?
Watching "iCarly."
What is "iCarly?"
It's a web show.
I thought I told you
to watch our new show.
It's lame, Daddy.
Now let's see what happens
when we pump air
into Freddie's pants.
Whoa, whoa, wait a second.
Yeah, pump up the pants.
These are brand new pants.
Seriously guys.
Come on, Sam.
- Not my pants.
- Shh. It'll be fun.
All right, will one of you
help me pull this nozzle out?
If you wanna create
something good,
then why don't you make a show
like that one on the internet?
You know, the one
that's making
your daughter laugh.
That is an excellent idea.
No, no. That's too much air.
My pants can't take it.
Carly, Sam.
- Oh, my God!
In five, four, three, two...
And so, the hierarchy
of the identification system
goes kingdom, phylum,
class, order, family, genus—
Hi.
Yes, can I help you?
I've come for Carly Shay
and her friends,
Sam and Freddie.
You can't just barge
into my classroom
and demand to take children
away without proper—
I run a television network.
Oh, help yourself.
Hello.
I'm the head
of development for TVS.
We wanna turn "iCarly"
into a hit TV show.
Will you come with me?
Okay.
But I should probably
call my brother, Spencer.
He's the adult
that's responsible—
Hey.
They picked me up
on the way here.
In a limo!
It's full of fancy sodas
and fruits
I never even heard of.
This is a guava.
Well, come on.
Okay, everyone,
now, please sit.
Take a seat.
Excuse me,
I'm Freddie's mother.
Yes, please come in,
Mrs. Benson.
Oh, I will.
Now, did you kids like
riding in that limousine?
- Insane.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, if you'll agree to do
"iCarly" as a regular show here
at TVS, you guys can use
that limo whenever you want.
[slurps
Mmm.
What country is this soda from?
- I don't know.
- Well, it's sweet like berries.
Thank you.
What about stuff like
cameras, lighting, audio?
Oh, we take care
of all those things.
We're even gonna recreate
your little "iCarly" studio
right here at TVS.
But then, how does Freddie fit
into the TV show?
He's going to be "iCarly's"
new supervising producer.
Supervising producer.
Is that dangerous?
Does it involve
anything sharp or pointy?
Mom.
What about snacks?
Don't TV shows always have
a big snack table somewhere?
- Yes, of course.
- And would there be ribs?
- Do you like ribs?
- Very much, yes.
Then we'll have ribs.
I think
this could be good for us.
Carly, are you in?
A TV show, limos, ribs?
I'm not stupid. Yeah, I'm in.
- Whoo-hoo!
Whoa.
Oh, my God.
They recreated our whole set.
Hey, hey.
Welcome to television.
- Awesome.
- Hey. This set looks awesome.
- It's so cool.
- Yeah.
Hey, who are they?
That's your new "iCarly" band.
We get our own band?
Hey, Harper, come over here.
What's up, Brad?
I want you to meet
the "iCarly" team.
Oh, yeah, I've seen
your show online.
- Yeah?
- Really?
Yeah, I love the one
where Sam Tied up Freddie
and then shaved
off his eyebrow.
Thanks.
I was just improvising.
She has anger issues.
You guys ready
for your first rehearsal?
- Yeah.
- Let's rock it, Brad.
Let's do it.
Okay.
Rehearsing in five, four—
Freddie, Freddie,
that's the director's job.
Oh, right.
Sorry, everybody.
Sorry, band.
Director.
Here we go.
In five, four, three, two—
- I'm Carly.
- I'm Sam.
And here's our impression
of an obnoxious teenage girl
arguing with her mean mother.
- Go.
- Mom, buy me a car.
- No.
- Mom.
- No.
- Mom.
- No.
- Mom.
- No.
- Mom.
- No.
- Mom.
- No.
- Mom.
- No. Thanks so much.
- Thank you.
And now, say hey
to "iCarly's" music dude.
Harper.
Thanks, Carly, Sam.
Actually, I wrote a little song
about you guys.
It goes—
- Hey, cool song.
- What do you call it?
I call it "Carly, Sam, Yeah."
Punch it.
- Going' great, huh?
- Yeah.
But I think the show
looks a little too bright.
Can we bring down
the lighting just a bit?
Look, it's really not your job
to handle the lighting, okay?
But you said
I was gonna be a producer.
Yeah, but you gotta
work your way
up to producing stuff
like lights.
Okay.
So, what can I produce
right now?
Why don't you go produce me
a toasted bagel
with cream cheese?
Coming.
Hey, Mrs. Benson, What's up?
By force of habit, I made
some after-school snacks
for Freddie,
but since he's at rehearsal,
I thought maybe you'd like
to share them with me.
- I really—
- Share them with me.
All right.
These are cucumber cups filled
with low-fat yogurt
and chopped celery.
I really don't think
I've ever—
Interesting flavor.
Thank you.
You know, it is so lonely
in the afternoons
without Freddie.
Yeah, it's pretty quiet around
here without Carly too.
Been doing laundry
to help me keep my mind—
I can help with your laundry.
Oh, thanks, but seriously,
you don't have to—
Where's your name?
Huh?
You don't have your name
sewn into your underpants.
No. No, I'm a grown man.
A grown man who's going
to lose his underpants.
Well, I've—
I'll go get my sewing machine,
you finish the cucumber cups.
Cucumber's really aren't my—
and you're gone.
Now, before we go—
We just wanna remind you—
That's what the Earth
looks like from outer space.
And this is what Earth
looks like dressed up
as a little girl.
Okay.
Thanks for watching "iCarly."
Harper, jam us out.
Punch it.
And great rehearsal, everyone.
- We'll take a five.
- Hey, nice stuff.
You guys are hilarious.
Insane. Incredible.
I loved it.
But, Harper, can I talk
to the girls alone?
Can I drive your new Porsche
around the parking lot?
- How old are you?
- Fourteen.
Drive slow.
Yeah, right.
Hey, where is Freddie?
Oh, he's cleaning out
my fish tank.
So, listen, I thought rehearsal
went great, like, perfect.
- Cool.
- Sweet.
But I'd like
to make some changes.
- Why change anything?
- You just said it was perfect.
Well, it was.
But we don't feel Harper
should talk so much.
- Why not?
- He's really cool and funny.
I know, but we just
did some testing
and our research shows
that kids love dinosaurs.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about Zeebo.
Zeebo?
- I'm Carly.
- And I'm Sam.
And I'm Zeebo.
Cha!
I've been told not to speak.
- Okay.
- Welcome to "iCarly."
Now, today, we're gonna—
I'm Zeebo.
Whoa!
You wanna quit doing that?
Nope.
Ka-boom!
Hey, could we lower
the microphone a little bit?
A little lower.
Little low—yeah.
Oh, no, no, no,
don't, don't, don't.
Ow, ow.
Yeah, kids love dinosaurs.
Breaking the face.
Breaking the face of Zeebo.
Ow, ooh, ooh.
Hurting Zeebo.
- Help Zeebo! Help Zeebo!
- Cut.
- Cut it. Cut.
- Get her off!
Come on, Sam.
I think you made your point.
I don't have to take this,
you know?
I did four episodes
of "Full House."
Ethan.
Come on, guy, don't do this.
Aww. Personally, I love Zeebo.
But I guess we'll just have
to do the show without him.
Oh, darn.
Don't worry.
Anyone can play Zeebo.
Ah, hey, Harper, come here.
- What's up?
- Put this on.
There. You look great.
I don't wanna play Zeebo.
We have a contract
and you'll play
whatever I tell you to play.
Let go of my snout.
How's he gonna play keyboard
if he's wearing
that dumb Zeebo costume?
Oh, don't worry about that.
We're getting rid
of the band completely.
But why?
So we'll have time
for more Zeebo.
Why are you so stupid?
Ooh, I'm late for a thing
with a guy.
He's ruining "iCarly."
Zeebo.
How long before that
nub dresses me up
like a dinosaur
and starts calling me Carbo?
- Hello.
- What's that?
- Bag of ice.
- For what?
Brad told me there's some guy
who works here
who got all sweaty,
and I'm supposed
to cool him down.
Over here.
Ah, yeah.
That's the stuff.
- Rub it around.
- Oh, okay.
Careful, Spencer.
I'm fine.
Just hand me the screwdriver.
Okay. But caution.
The tip is pointy.
I've used a screwdriver
lots of times.
I really don't think—
ow, oh, oh!
I warned you. Come down.
- Let me see it.
- It's fine.
Oh, my God, it's bleeding.
Oh, we got a bleeder.
My hand is bleeding.
I'll go get my first aid kit.
Wait. I don't think
I should be left alone.
There's a hole in my hand.
Mrs. Benson?
Mrs. Benson? Mrs. Benson?
Everything's fine.
I've got my first aid kit.
Wow. That's large.
Thank you.
Hold out your hand.
Is it gonna sting?
Cause I don't want it to—ah!
That's nice.
Mm-hmm.
Bandage.
And you know what's gonna
make you feel even better?
A visit from Dr. Lollipop?
A visit from
Dr. Sugar-Free Lollipop.
Hey.
- Lick slower.
- Sorry.
Mmm.
I hate this TV network,
but I love their ribs.
Mmm.
The sauce is so thick and rich.
Look at this.
That's good barbecue sauce.
You understand that it's wrong.
Yes.
Hey, guys, good news.
The network execs watched
the tape
of yesterday's rehearsal
and they loved it.
They are cuckoo for "iCarly."
But you just wanna change—
- One thing.
- Shocker.
This involves you, Sam.
If you try to put that dinosaur
head on me, I swear—
No. Nothing like that.
You're fired.
- What?
- You can't fire Sam.
Whoa, wait, whoa.
If you fire me, do I still
get paid for the whole week?
- Yes.
- Later.
Sam, don't go.
I can't do "iCarly"
without Sam.
- She's my co-host.
- Sorry.
But our executives found
her pushy and aggressive.
She is pushy and aggressive.
That's her thing.
And not to be rude,
but you are kind of stupid.
Carly, relax.
You won't have
to do the show alone.
We got you a new co-host.
- Who?
- Amber Tate.
- The movie star?
- Yup.
She's right over there
getting her makeup done.
Wow.
- Can I meet her?
- No.
But you can meet her dog.
- Her dog?
- Yeah.
I need you to give it a bath.
Be careful. He vomits a lot.
Have fun.
Okay. Look, Brad.
Nothing against you
or Amber Tate,
her vomiting dog,
But this isn't turning out
like I thought it would.
I like doing my show
with Freddie behind the camera
and Sam standing next to me.
So I think I'll just go home
and keep making "iCarly"
the way we like it.
Yeah, sorry, you can't do that.
We own the title "iCarly" now.
And we own you.
Oh, come on, get psyched.
It's gonna be great.
Just read the new script.
Wait, wait. Sam and I
write our own scripts.
Not anymore.
We hired
professional comedy writers.
Hey, you know
where the ribs are?
- We heard there were ribs.
- Are there ribs?
"iCarly" rehearsal in
five, four, three, two—
Hello, people
who own televisions.
- My name is—
- I'm Amber Tate.
Carly.
And I'm Zeebo.
And this is "iCarly," kind of.
Now, to kick off the show,
how about a little song
from our friend, Zeebo?
Stop the music.
Stop the—hold the track, man.
Now, what's wrong, guy?
The show is jank.
- Jank?
- It means bad, lame, suckish.
Catching on, Brad?
Jank.
And I crashed your Porsche.
My Porsche!
Oh, Zeebo!
Do not call me Zeebo.
Freddie.
The dog puked on me four times.
Give me him.
What did you do to him?
Ow.
Don't thump him.
Don't even talk to me.
Too late.
I'm already talking to you.
And since I am, what is with
you chick celebrities
carrying around
your prissy little dogs?
I've had chicken wings
with more meat
on them than that thing.
Well, when you're ready
to apologize to me
and Bitty Boo,
we'll be in my dressing room.
Hey, kid, go unclog
the toilet in my office.
No.
I toasted your bagel,
cleaned your fish tank,
got yacked on
by Amber Tate's rat dog,
and I even rubbed ice all
over a sweaty guy's stomach,
but I will not
plunge your toilet.
Come on,
you're my supervising producer.
Well, I ain't supervising
what you produced in there.
I'm sorry, Carly. I quit.
Well, now, we've lost
Sam, Freddie, and Harper.
Oh, everything's gonna be fine.
Fine?
This isn't even "iCarly"
anymore.
Oh, come on,
how can you say—
you know, you're right.
This isn't "iCarly" anymore.
So this is what TVS did
with "iCarly"?
Uh-huh.
They turned it into a sitcom.
And they're not even
calling it "iCarly" anymore.
- Lucky for us.
- So you get the name back?
- Yeah.
- We did.
- Let's watch.
- Okay.
But, Michelle, why would you
accept two dates to the prom
without telling either boy
about the other?
Because, Dad,
Luke is so sweet,
but Brandon is so hot.
Oh, noodles!
Lame.
In five, four, three, two—
- Howdy, y'all. I'm Carly.
- I'm Sam.
- And this is "iCarly."
- Back on the internet.
Where nobody can tell us
what to do.
Yeah, baby.
And now, Carly will spell
the word "punctuality—"
While Sam screams like
a girl in a horror movie
about to be eaten by a monster.
P-U-N-C-T-U-A-L-I-T-Y.
- Nice job, Carls.
- Thank you, Sam.
And now on "iCarly"--
Some live music
from a new friend of ours
who's amazingly talented.
So let's get them out here.
Harper!
This one's
for the real "iCarly."
- Hey!
- You there!
You wanna see us do stuff
you can't see anywhere else?
- Do you?
- I think they do.
Then go online to iCarly.com.
Yeah! Go to iCarly.com.
Once you get to iCarly.com,
you can see me and Carly...
And Freddie and Spencer do
all kinds of wacky fun stuff.
You know you like
wacky fun stuff.
So go online to iCarly.com.
And see stuff you can't
see anywhere else.
- Only at iCarly.com.
- So go there.
- Do it.
- Seriously.