- Who's that?
- Ms. Gatlin.
She told our class that if
everybody got A's on our quiz,
she'd dress up like a chicken
- for the whole day.
- Impressive costume.
Yeah, that's the best
Ms. Gatlin's looked
in three years.
Hey, Freddie, thanks for
letting me borrow your notes.
Hey, anything to get
a teacher in a chicken suit.
Yeah, what's better than that?
Maybe a chicken
in a teacher suit.
Awesome, he'd be all...
Do your homework.
You make funny chicken noises.
Thanks. All right.
Well, I gotta go give
a nerd a wedgie.
Late.
Hey, who is he?
Jonah.
A guy in my French class.
- Freddie, go to your locker.
- Why?
- I don't need to go...
- Go to your locker.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
You love Jonah.
Kinda, he's so cool.
Then you should ask him
to hang out.
Nah, a guy like that
won't wanna hang out with me.
Why not?
He makes chicken noises
and bothers other children.
He's perfect for you.
Forget it.
I gotta go squirt cheese down
Gibby's pants before class.
Hey, Gibby,
don't you run, Gibby.
Gibby.
- Open your mouth.
- I can't do that.
Come on, Gibby...
Freddie, do you believe
in love at first sight?
Yes, I do. I always did.
I mean Sam likes
your friend, Jonah.
Oh. Tell Jonah to ask Sam out.
No.
Jonah never did
anything bad to me.
Come on.
Sam doesn't like many guys.
- No.
- Please, for me?
- Don't do that.
- What?
You think whenever you say,
"Please, for me?"
That I'll just do anything
you want.
- Well, not this time.
- Please, for me?
Okay.
In five, four, three, two.
- Hey, Jonah.
- Hey, what's up?
You remember that
girl that was with me
when you gave me back my notes?
Yeah, she seems cool.
Cute too.
I'm talkin'
about the blonde one.
Yeah, I know.
Her name's Sam, right?
Right.
So, I hear
she kind of likes you.
Does she?
- Tell me about her.
- Sure.
Well, she's got
really great teeth.
That's great,
but what's she like?
Well, she's, like,
she's really nice, cool,
and pleasant to be around.
Man, are you okay?
You look kind of sick.
Yeah.
So, why don't you ask Sam out?
Okay, I will.
Thanks for hooking me up.
I'm talkin' about
the blonde one.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, little buddy.
Now, I know you don't want
a fat neck, do you?
No, of course you don't.
I'll just mold it down a little
and it'll be nice and slender.
Okay, okay. I know.
He probably had a fever
and didn't know
what he was saying.
Will you stop and just be happy
that Jonah asked you out?
But why would he ask me out?
Why wouldn't he?
Well, you know.
Some boys find me
kind of abrasive.
No.
It's true.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh.
You made me slice the head
off my space hamster.
Space hamster?
I thought
our government cancelled
the Space Hamster Program.
That's a clay hamster.
Clay space hamster, which
I'm sculpting for my movie.
- You're making a movie?
- Yeah.
The Seattle arts council
is having a short film contest,
so I'm using
my sculpting skills
to do a little claymation.
What's claymation?
See, if I were made of clay
and you take a video camera
and shot one frame
of me like this,
and one frame like this,
and then one like this,
then one like this,
and then one like this,
and then you played it
all back,
it'd look like this.
So, what's your movie about?
Well, it's about an alien
with five arms
that buddies up
with a space hamster,
and they travel
across the universe
in search
of the ultimate burrito.
Oh, it's Jonah. Shh.
I wasn't even talking.
What's up?
Sure, cool.
He wants to take me
to a movie tonight.
You said you had
a ton of homework.
I didn't say I was gonna do it.
Hey, how was French class?
Terrible.
I got a b plus on a test.
A b plus?
That's not part of the
Freddie Benson master plan.
Yeah, well,
'cause Jonah was sitting
right next to me Text messaging
Sam the whole time.
You know, they spent, like,
every second together
for the past three days?
Yeah, they're like
a total couple.
I know. It's disgusting.
It's not disgusting.
It's nice.
Hey, we were
just talking about you.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Shh, Jonah just texted me.
The back of your head
is totally cute.
Aw, he's thinking about
the back of my head.
Not just thinking about it.
I'm looking at it.
Hey, I missed you.
- I missed you too.
- Want to go get some lunch?
Sure, as long as you promise
not to sniff the fruit salad.
Sniff the fruit salad?
We were at the
Groovy Smoothie yesterday.
We saw this dude.
Oh, you had to be there.
- Come on, let's go.
- Okay.
- The fruit.
- And we sniffed it.
And the grape.
You had to be there.
Oh, give her a break.
And be happy for Sam.
She hasn't had a boyfriend
since fifth grade
When Frankie Murkin
rudely dumped her.
She broke Frankie's leg.
Yes, and then
he rudely dumped her.
- Your tea.
- Thanks.
Okay, we only have
half of the next
"iCarly" planned out,
so let's figure out
What else we're gonna do.
Sam, where's the list
of "iCarly" Ideas?
Sam?
This is a drawing of you
and Jonah
in a big heart surrounded
by smaller hearts.
Oh, give me that.
Okay.
We were talking about
doin' either the bit
with the giant fan
that blows stuff
or the wedgie-bounce.
I don't know.
The wedgie-bounce thing
kind of scares me, you know?
Sam, what do you think?
- Sam.
- Shh.
Okay, this is getting annoying.
How are we gonna rehearse
if she won't
quit texting Jonah.
Maybe like this?
Hi, I'm Carly, and I'm Sam.
And this is a new bit
we like to call,
"Obsessively texting
your boyfriend."
Hey, your hair looks pretty.
Adjust.
Shoot, print.
Adjust.
Shoot, print. Sports drink.
What's he doin'?
He's making a claymation movie.
Oh, cool.
Is that a hamster
wearing a space helmet?
Don't touch my movie.
It's all very precise.
If you move or change
one little thing,
I got to start all over again.
How much have you done?
Fifteen more shots, I'll have
the first two seconds finished.
Two seconds?
How long's the whole movie?
Ten minutes, which means
I got about 14,367 shots to go.
Shoot, print.
14,366.
Hey, where are you going?
Jonah's at the Groovy Smoothie.
Gotta go meet him there.
Wait.
But we're supposed to...
What's her deal?
Sam has a new boyfriend
and he's all she thinks about.
Ah, the honeymoon phase.
What do you mean?
Well, when someone's
in a new relationship,
It's like they're blind
to everything else
but that other person.
Like when I started dating
that girl, Jennifer,
I had a bad case of poison
ivy for two whole weeks.
I didn't even know.
What made you finally notice?
Well, it spread to places.
Where?
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Where is she?
Rehearsal was supposed
to start a half-hour ago.
I'm calling her.
Put it on speaker.
I want a piece of this.
Hey, you got my voicemail.
I'm here with the
awesomest guy ever.
And I'm here
with the cutest girl ever.
Oh, baby.
We're gonna be at the
water park all afternoon.
So, don't bug us.
And don't sniff
the fruit salad.
- Goodbye.
Can you believe her?
She blew off
"iCarly" Rehearsal.
So she could go play
with Jonah?
Well, I know
how we could get back at her.
Huh?
You and I should start dating.
That way...
- Freddie.
- I know.
- Sam.
- I didn't do it.
Oh, it's just you.
Yeah. It's just me.
The girl from iCarly who showed
up at rehearsal yesterday.
I was with Jonah.
Yeah.
We need to talk about this.
Okay. Let's talk.
I'm really happy that you're
going out with Jonah but...
It's me.
- Isn't that cute?
Jonah recorded it to play
every time he texts me.
It's adorable and I thought
we were talking.
We are. Sorry.
I was saying,
I think it's great that...
It's me.
Look, I'm really glad
you're all happy.
And have a boyfriend
and everything,
but iCarly is important to me
and Freddie.
It's important to me too.
Then start acting like it.
It's me.
If you try to open the locker,
I will bite your hand off.
Listen, I'm sorry
I missed rehearsal,
it's just Jonah makes me
so happy
and, you know,
I haven't had a boyfriend,
since Frankie Murkin
fell out of that tree
and broke his leg.
Yeah. "Fell."
Fell, was pushed.
The point is I've been
single a long time.
It's me.
Be at rehearsal on time today
and be focused on us.
Okay. I'll be there.
Promise.
Hug?
I will hug you when I see you
at rehearsal.
- Deal.
It's me.
- It's me.
- Carly, wait, my phone.
I got it.
Okay, let's make sure
this baby works.
Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay.
Okay, it works.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Say you're sorry to my hair.
Hey, you're here.
And she brought Jonah.
What's up, player?
Carly.
Uh, listen.
iCarly rehearsals
are kinda private so...
Oh, no worries.
He's just gonna sit over there
and look cute
while we do our stuff.
You won't even know I'm here.
Okay.
Let's rehearse the wig bit.
- Oh, I love the wig bit.
- Okay.
Rehearsing in five,
four, three, two...
Hi, I'm Carly.
I live with my brother Spencer,
I do my homework,
and I shower every day.
Good one.
I'm Sam.
I do bad things, harass people,
and eat everything that
doesn't eat me first.
Okay, good stuff.
You guys wanna try
the fan bit next?
- Sure.
- Yeah, the fan bit.
Uh, here's the thing.
Jonah doesn't think it's funny.
It seems kinda lame to me.
Okay.
Well, then maybe
we should talk about
a new "Messin' with Lewbert."
The guy in your lobby
with the big wart on his face?
Yeah.
You know what you guys
should call that dude?
"Captain wart burger."
Captain wart burger?
That's gold, baby.
Captain wart burger?
No, you gotta say it
like Jonah did.
Yeah, and Carly,
when you're doing the wig bit,
You gotta act more like Sam.
Weird.
I thought
I was acting like Sam.
Have you ever thought
taking acting lessons?
I can't believe it,
"You won't even know I'm here."
He was totally
bossing us around
Sam was encouraging him.
Shh.
They're right behind us.
Oh, they won't hear me.
They're too busy giggling
about captain wart burger.
Yeah, you could be all,
"Hello there,
"Captain wart burger.
"Would you like
a side of wart fries?"
Wart fries?"
- I need a snack.
- Fruit kebab?
Sure.
Hey, what's going on over here?
Oh, Carly's brother
is making a movie.
Check out this dude.
No, don't touch that.
Okay.
Mr. Space hamster, we're...
oh my god.
My movie is ruined.
I have to start all over again
and my deadline's
in less than 24 hours.
Ha, ha, look, its arm came off.
Ha, ha, yeah.
Why don't you stay for dinner
and rip my heart out?
Dude, don't cry about it.
Oh, fruit kebabs.
I'm out.
- Text you later.
- Kick it!
Aw, how cute is he?
Yeah.
Hey, you wanted talk to me,
Carly-o?
No need to add the "O,"
Just sit down.
Sure.
Jonah, I wanna
talk to you about Sam.
My lady.
Yes.
I'm really happy you guys
are so into each other.
But I need Sam for the show.
So you can't
keep distracting her
and coming to rehearsals...
Sam hasn't complained about it.
Yeah, 'cause she's so into you,
she can't think straight.
Oh.
You don't like me spending
so much time with Sam.
No.
So maybe I should spend
a little less time with Sam
and a little more time
with someone else.
What are you doing?
- Kiss me.
- What?
Sam doesn't have to know.
Ow, did you just thump me?
How dare you try to kiss me
when you're dating Sam?
You're icky,
and I'm telling Sam.
Whoa, whoa.
You don't wanna do that.
Oh, well, why not?
'cause think about
how happy I make Sam.
What kind of friend
would you be
If you ruined her first great
relationship by rattin' me out?
Carly, I got the...
hey, cupcake,
What are you doing here?
Carly asked me to come over.
Yeah.
To tell help me
with my imitation of you
for the wig bit.
I'm Sam.
I like to eat pork chops
in bed.
That's exactly
how I'd say that.
- You're so helpful.
- Yeah.
14,327, 14,326.
Hey, Spencer, how's the...
Carly, Freddie is here.
14,325.
I'm freaking out, Freddie.
Freaking out.
- Did you talk to Jonah?
- Yeah.
And he tried to kiss me.
He totally tried to kiss me.
- No way.
- Yeah.
You're sure
Jonah tried to kiss you?
Well, let's see.
He said, "Kiss me,"
Then puckered his lips.
So call me crazy,
but I think the boy wanted
some Carly kissin'.
That jerk.
No one tries to kiss my girl.
No one tries to kiss you.
So are you gonna tell Sam?
I was gonna, but Jonah makes
Sam really happy
and I don't want her
to get hurt.
Yeah.
Hey, we should get upstairs.
iCarly starts in three minutes.
14,317.
14,316.
14,315.
14,314.
14,313.
I am having a horrible time.
Hey, you were supposed
to get me an iced tea.
Oh, yeah.
There wasn't any.
- You guys ready?
- Ready.
Yup.
Sweetie, why don't you stand
over there behind Freddie.
Whatevs.
Okay, girls.
iCarly starts in five,
four, three, two...
- Hey, welcome to iCarly.
- Dot com.
And I hope you know
what "Com" Stands for.
'Cause we don't.
Hey, Sam, ever wonder
what it'd be like
if we were each other?
Yeah.
But do you mind
if we don't start off
with the wig bit tonight?
Uh, okay.
So what do you wanna do first?
But we haven't tested it yet.
So, let's test it now.
But who are we gonna get to...
Okay, iCarly fans,
we're gonna start off the night
with a new bit starring
my boyfriend, Jonah.
Woo.
Get up here, Jonah.
What am I doin'?
Trust me, baby,
this is gonna be awesome.
Yes, yes, it is.
Okay, Jonah,
you stand right here.
Okay.
Next, I climb up
and get the big red rope
with the large hook.
- Pretty cool.
- Yeah.
And now, Sam hooks the rope
onto the back
of Jonah's underwear.
My underwear?
Just go with it, Jonah.
Relax, this is gonna be fun.
Okay, Freddie.
Is the button on Sam's remote
ready to activate
our special surprise?
Yup. Bottom button.
And now, iCarly Presents
The wedgie-bounce.
The wedgie-bounce?
Wait, wait, wait.
- Guys, I didn't...
- It begins!
Sam, this feels weird.
Sam.
This is so invasive.
So you found out.
I heard you
and Freddie talking.
I'm really sorry.
Why are you sorry?
'Cause I know he made you
all happy and stuff.
Come on.
Pork chops make me happy
and they don't try
to kiss my best friend.
- It's cool, I'm all right.
- Good.
But now
I kinda want a pork chop.
I know, right?
So when are we gonna get
to see Spencer's movie?
Right now.
I just finished
burning the DVD.
So how'd you finish it early?
Oh, just watch it.
I am a space hamster.
Burritos are food.
That was it?
Well, it would've been longer
if Jonah hadn't
ruined everything
and made me start over.
Don't worry, Sam took care
of Jonah on iCarly tonight.
- What do you mean?
- Come look.
Guys, come on, seriously.
This is so uncool.
You wedgie-bounced him?
Are still wedgie-bouncing him.
This is happening live.
Sam.
This has been going
on for two hours.
My underwear, it's hurting me.
Hi, Carly, Sam and Freddie.
I'm Liliana.
I'm twelve years old
and I'm from California.
I love your show, you guys.
Bye.